Self-care journey

[Startingover37]

As my username suggests, I feel like I'm 'starting over' at 37. Like a lot of people, the past 18mths have led to some unhealthy behaviours mostly overeating, and the closure of gyms and classes (which really work for me) hasn't helped. I am currently around 15 stone.
I can't just blame covid as my weight has slowly crept over the last few years and I fluctuate between getting really into eating healthy, losing weight and then, thinking Feck it, life's too short, eat the cake, drink the wine! I need a healthy balance and a better relationship with food.
I have realised that for me, overfocussing on food and on the scales sends me backwards....simply looking after myself better leads to me feeling better, having more energy and in turn losing weight. I know food is so important in that but for me, focussing on the self-care side seems to have helped before.
So, I'm posting this, both as accountabilty for myself and to see if any like-minded people want to join me on my journey? I hope so!
Starting simple this week...

1. Drink 2l of water each day
2. Walk 10,000 steps per day
3. At least 3 self-care activities per week e.g. a nice bath, paint my nails...anything that makes me feel better in my own body.

Any other suggestions welcome! Genuinely look forward to hearing from anyone in a similar boat!

How is everyone doing? I'm starting to feel a bit more human now although it'll be another few days before I can be active but I feel I can start to make changes to my food now

Hi all, glad you're feeling a bit better @MeadowLines. I've got a good food plan for the week and just got my shop in too @Startingover37. Following the example of a few of you am really planning to push on and kick the sugar habit as my main focus. I have made a point of getting in lots of tasty healthy things I really like such as berries and cherries so it feels like a treat.

Have really managed some good mental health focus in my week away, lots and lots of walking in the middle of nowhere has been very good for the soul, plus obviously, has been helping me get fitter. We did between 5 and 10 miles every day either hill walking or kayaking. I did eat a lot of cake though as husband tends to like to bake alot when he's off work!

As it's school holidays I have a bit less work on so am doing my friend's exercise class 3 times a week, will continue to run once a week or twice when it feels good. Good luck for the week ahead all 🙂

That sounds great @ElvenDreamer sounds like you're in a great place mentally and you've planned well. Your time away sounds bliss - walking in the wilderness plus homemade cake - my idea of heaven!
That's a good idea to have cherries etc to replace the unhealthier snacks. I always forget just how lovely cherries are, I may pick some up later.
I am sorely tempted to invest in an air fryer to make crunchy chips healthier

@MeadowLines Really glad to hear you are feeling a little bit better.

@ElvenDreamer You sound like you are doing so well from an exercise point of view, good on you, it makes such a difference to your body and mind!

I'm doing good. Been walking for 40 mind nearly every day and exercising 3 times a week. Feel stronger and fitter. I started building a hill walk in once a week too to challenge my fitness a bit more. Unfortunately my gym is closing so I'm going to have to find somewhere new. Bit disappointed as I was in a good routine but I have to just accept it and see what else is around.

I have been getting the house more organized, listening to more music, lighting more candles, saying yes to more things. I am finally improving food wise but I'm definitely not there yet. I'm ok with slow progress though, as long as I'm moving in the right direction. I have lost very little weight on the scales but I feel stronger, fitter and more comfortable in myself than I have in a long time.

This week, my goals are

1. sorting my new gym/exercise class
2. Reducing time on my phone, especially before going to sleep
3. to ensure I am drinking my 2l of water.

Like you @ElvenDreamer I am off work for the next four weeks so want to give myself a good run at it for the next four weeks while I have the time to invest in myself.

We got this ladies!

I spoke too soon!! A family bereavement this week has knocked me right off my path. I'm doing ok but food prep, exercise, self care has taken a back seat. I guess that's life! There will always be something to knock you off course but I just need to get back on track again for next week. I find it hard to get the balance between being kind to myself, allowing myself just be, and demanding a bit more of myself in order to reach my goals.

I think the fact that I am quite lonely really hit me this past week too. While I do have family and friends, most of my family have partners and I struggled with not having anyone there for me, to lean on, to comfort me in a tough time. I've been single forever and I'm sick of feeling alone!

I'm beginning to wonder if I might be a bit depressed. Finding it hard to pick myself up again and take control of things again. I do find joy in other people and enjoy getting out and doing things but am struggling to feel excited about the day to day stuff and being at home. I'm bored and lonely. I don't feel remotely fulfilled.

Oh Im so sorry for your loss @Startingover37 it can be a huge shock and really take a lot out of you.
I agree finding the balance can be very hard, I struggle with it a lot too, I think a lot of people do. The line between self care and self comfort is a very fine one, or maybe even a blurred one.

(((hugs))) message any time you need to vent

So sorry to hear of your loss @Startingover37, something like that will often completely stop you in your tracks whatever you are trying to achieve. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time, a few days of not being on top of food and exercise etc won't be a disaster. Everyone grieves differently and that process right now will be more important. With the loneliness/motivation thing I feel you, (although not lonliness related in my case), one thing I found really helpful a while ago was signing myself up to a couple of interesting looking courses with Centre of Excellence, there's a number of similar companies I believe. It really helped give me a focus. I had been out of the habit of doing them for a while then the other day when I had been feeling really low, I sort of remembered, logged back in and picked up where I'd left off. A couple of hours later and my whole mood was different.

For me this last week has been an absolute car crash in terms of food and achieving anything really, I have a Drs appointment 1st thing tomorrow to discuss blood results and see if there's anything actually wrong, if not then she is going to talk mental health angles with me. I find there are days when I'm really on it, then these will be followed by a couple of days where I just want to hide from the world and sleep, not a very helpful way to live! Well, I'm off for a run now, it won't be very fast due to the large amount of bbq and gin last night (whoops) but I do it every Sunday morning, it's my little ritual with my daughter and we love it, so that will put me in a better place for today at least! Good luck for the week ahead everyone, and big hugs to you @Startingover37.

Thank you @MeadowLines and @ElvenDreamer. Haven't been in the zone at all this week but I reckon that is self-care really, knowing when to step off and just take it easy.
@ElvenDreamer I hope you got on ok with your doctor

You're exactly right @Startingover37, knowing when to slow down is so important. What I find tricky as well is not staying there longer than truly necessary.
@ElvenDreamer I love the idea of doing courses - something productive always lifts my mood! I hope the doctors went well and you get to the bottom of it soon.

Ive been doing a little better, small steps have helped. I was finding the small, almost imperceptible changes frustrating but now I find I relish them as even when I dont feel great I can still manage something

Hopefully next week will be a better one for us all

Yes, I fervently hope that next will be a better one for us all too @MeadowLines, and @Startingover37 you are so right, stepp9ng back when you know you need time is definitely self care, being able to recognise our needs which will inevitably change with our circumstances has to be part of it.

Well, my blood test results showed I am substantially deficient in vit D and B12. The Dr is putting me on extremely high doses of both for a couple of months or so to correct the balance and then bringing the supplement down to a more normal level to stay on. I really hope this is the key, she seemed encouraged that it would be. Apparently both can cause extreme fatigue, low mood, anxiety etc. I'm to see how I feel in 6 weeks. So obviously it will take a week or so to start making a difference, but I feel more positive.

Something I have done this week was to make a tiny space in a corner of a room where I can work at some of my hobbies I enjoy mucking about with. So many times I fancy doing some craft or whatever and it's too much hassle to get stuff out and put it away again, so I go and graze the fridge instead. I'm hoping this will make it easier to just go and sit down for a bit of productive me time.

That sounds promising @ElvenDreamer hopefully that will all help. Another good point about crafting, that's always my issue too - clearing away when Im finished for the day but not finished the project.

Ive been doing some clearing at home too, clutter and dust collectors. It feels so good to clear space

Just thought Id check in and see how everyone is doing? I've eaten a huge amount of junk snacks recently, but much smaller meals so weight wise it hasn't had an effect. I do feel more tired though and not sleeping as well. I have a meal plan for the week and a plan for my breakfasts and lunches too which has been my downfall the last little while. Im fairly desperate for a reset at this point!

Hi @MeadowLines, much like you I have still been eating some crap, but in smaller portions so weight is steady. I am keeping up my exercise and have been doing little things to make myself relaxed and calm, all of which helps. I am about to embark on a month long sugar detox (I have another post on this if anyone wants to join me! So won't bore on the details here) which I hope will really kick start me to better habits by losing the cravings.

Hi @MeadowLines Thanks for the check in. Sorry to hear you are still feeling tired. Not sleeping can have such a dramatic effect on your energy, your body, everything.
Hi @ElvenDreamer Sounds like you are doing well keeping up with your exercise and doing relaxing, calming activities.
I most definitely need a reset and a bit of a sugar detox too. My family bereavement a few weeks back really set me back and apart from keeping up with some exercise and some walking, I have been a bit all over the place, really low energy and motivation for cooking, meal planning etc. My sleep had been really improving and that has gone backwards too.
I think I took control of things this week and went to the doctor, he has ordered a full set of bloods and offered assistance from a healthy eating/lifestyle point of view if I wanted that.
I have started my own plan first but if I don't feel better with 4-6 weeks, I will go back to him for help.
My plan for September is:
I deleted any social media apps and dating apps off my phone and am removing my phone from my bedside locker at night.
I am taking magnesium 1 hour and reading before I go to sleep.
I have a healthy meal plan and shopping done for the week.
I have an exercise plan for the week.
I am going to try arrange social meet ups with friends and family for the month ahead.
@ElvenDreamer I may join you on your sugar detox. I did it for 3 weeks before. My taste buds totally changed. I was feeling good...but I didn't keep it up. I think I need something drastic tho.

Sorry didn't realise how long that was!

A sugar detox could very well be good for me, although I doubt my ability to do one fully I will follow the thread and attempt it! Thank you @ElvenDreamer

@Startingover37 that sounds like you have a good plan in place, and the back up of the GP as well if you feel it's not doing quite what you want.