13:5.4 today. Delayed gym till this evening as didn’t sleep much at all and my neck and shoulder is sore.
Realistically I’m not actually dieting. I’m trying to mostly eat a bit less and better and I’m exercising more. I do what some people call intermittent fasting but that’s actually just my eating pattern since forever and if I was actually physically hungry one morning I would eat.
Hence progress is slow but I’m ok with that. I’ve never been this large before where you can lose relatively large amounts of weight without there seeming to be much of a difference and where even if you did go mega restrictive it still wouldn’t get fast results that saw me back to an imagined how I should look. The destination is way off in the distance and in some ways that’s helpful because I’m more focused on the journey itms and isn’t too twee.
So I’m pleased with myself that the gym has become a habit, or that I don’t stuff myself with comfort food regularly anymore and that my weight is going broadly in the right direction etc. When I was slimmer and younger it would all be about a certain weight or clothes size or fixed idea of how my body should look and getting there as fast as possible.
Having gone through a period of weight just passing on I’m even pleased just that I’m not putting weight on.
I remember last year in the first lockdown we were reminding each other that many people were talking of gaining weight so losing it or even just staying the same was a good achievement.
I think our culture is so messed up about food and there is so much opportunity to eat and eat and eat that it’s a struggle especially as we get older and things slow down and it’s easier to gain and harder to lose. So just staying in a healthy weight range or chipping away at getting towards one is an achievement.
Sorry long waffle but self compassion as ever is needed and no bashing oneself