Totally humiliated myself at gym 😢

[Bluefrontdoor]

Urgh. Today is a bad day.
I am a member of a gym for past 18m and previous to that was at a different gym. I'm no gym bunny but I try to go twice a week and make an effort. When I began at this gym I had an induction but I adapted the routine a bit along the way eg I hate the bikes so did more treadmill.
So I admit I've been off plan had a few holidays and many take aways, I'm not a slim girl I'm 15st+ size 16/18. I recently went back to gym after few weeks off and they have changed alot of the equipment so I didn't know what to do. I booked a refresh with the instructor. Now I knew I was in a fragile state of mind today so probably should have cancelled but I thought it would do me good. The instructor insisted I had another full induction and put me on this machine that weighed you and BMI, fat, muscle etc I knew I didn't want to do that but she was insistent. Then she starts comparing my stats saying I've put on 7lb then saying no it's more like 9 that's way over half stone. Saying you put on 9lb in six weeks! (I haven't I've put it on since last time on machine which was 18m ago) she was going on about BMI and fat etc but in quite a critical way which I totally understand as well it's bad, I know it's bad. I admit I couldn't even look at her or the machine I was getting more and more upset this was all taking place in a room that people can see in and the door was open and it's right next to the water fountain so people tend to stand there.
Part way through her spiel of how much fat I'd gained she looked at me and said are you upset? I said yes and burst into full huge sobs, she then said did you not know you were this big and I half shouted back of course I did I have a mirror! I then grabbed my stuff and said I gotta go home and literally ran sobbing through the gym and leisure centre. I couldn't even drive for the first 20 minutes as I was sobbing that much. I can't believe I've humiliated myself like that and now I have no idea to even make it better as I still can't work the gym.
I'm so upset with myself for getting this fat and this upset I'm cringing at the thought of ever going back 😢😢😢

Well you can get fitter in your own time. She will always be an arsehole.

You didn't humiliate yourself, pet, she was bad at her job.

Definitely complain to the gym. Someone that shit at their job should be brought to their attention.

You did so well to make the start it seems a shame to let some rotten cow put you off. How about going outside for a brisk half hour walk so that you can capitalise on your good intentions?

What a horrible woman
And completely useless at her job.

For a start weight, fat and fitness are not one and the same

You went asking for a gym refresh and she is the one who derailed it by obsessing about your weight

How dare she?
What on earth did she think she would achieve by upsetting you?

I’m about a stone heavier than I was last time I was in a gym but I’m a million times fitter- I’ve just done an Ironman triathlon!

Use this to motivate you.
You are beautiful and fabulous and still you whatever the scales say.

You want to get strong and fit and the scales will say what they say.

Get your kit back on now and get on something like fitness blender on the web and find a no equipment 20 min HIIT workout and go for it!

Get sweaty and get started.

Ask for a refund at the gym and get outside instead.
Home HIIT in the garden, cycling, fast walking with some awesome music on your headphones

You don’t need her or her stupid equipment and stinky hot gym.

Love moving and exercise for how it makes you feel.

You can do this OP!

You didn't humiliate yourself my love, the instructor did. You were at the gym, you were half way there, making a good change and this nasty specimen decided to tear you down. She has absolutely no right - she should have just said OK, now we've got all that out the way let's get to it! I would definitely speak to the manager to lodge a complaint and I would also find another gym. Don't let it put you off.

Just to add my support to what the others have said. You haven’t humiliated yourself. She is a horrid person. She is meant to be there to support people in to getting fitter and loosing weight. She did not do that. If you can find the strength I think you should make a complaint about her.

Please don’t let her put you off going back. Ask for recommendations and try somewhere else. Don’t be put off making a positive change for yourself.

Ach Blue, that is grim. You have not humiliated yourself, she was an utter twat. Sorry you had to go through that, as others have said, that is completely wrong and counterproductive since you left the gym.

Please don’t let her put you off going back.

By the way, I was a PT years ago and I really did humiliate myself ~ probably on every piece of machinery going. Imagine: falling off, flying off, getting caught in ropes, getting stuck between things, clothes/hair/limbs getting stuck and caught. Everything.

Good luck going forward

She was really out of order. Bet you other folk have complained about her. Send an email with the facts and ask how they are going to solve this issue.

You’ve not humiliated yourself, the instructor is just down right nasty!

No - SHE humiliated you, and she should be thoroughly ashamed of herself.

That instructor was really unhelpful and rude. Although I do think having a reality check can be useful for motivation. On holiday the hotel had a full length mirror at the end of the corridor to our room. So every day I had to watch myself in a swimming costume wobbling in a full length mirror. It was horrifying. I'm on a diet. I was 15 stone 6. And a size 18-20. I've started couch to 5k. Explain what happened to a manager because the issue of your weight should have been handled much more sensitivity. They must be able to recommend someone who has better people skills. Keep going to the gym.

You didn't humiliate yourself. You showed admirable restraint in not whacking her over the head with the mirror and shouting for her to be fired!
Call or email the gym and say you want to book another induction. Explain that today's instructor read your file wrong (it was 18m since you'd been on the scales,etc, not 6 weeks) and upset you so you didn't get your induction hence you want to re-book with another member of staff.
If you're upset about missing your workout, there are some very gentle ones on Samsung Health app or on Youtube. You don't need to let her put you off your stride.

Id put in a complaint actually. That was vile and she humiliated you. You didnt humilate yourself. She needs sacking

She sounds AWFUL! Many of us would have been upset by that. If you can face it, maybe call and speak to the manager as it sounds like she could be very bad for their business. I don't think I would go back after that. How about trying Parkrun? It's known for being genuinely nice and supportive.

She sounds totally clueless about the emotional impact of weight. Perhaps she’s someone who’s never been big, has never tried to lose weight. I would want to get this written down when you’re feeling better and send it in an email to the manager. You don’t have to be angry or overly emotional in your communication. Just explain calmly what happened and how it made you feel. I think the gym needs to know.

She sounds terrible, you're doing amazing by getting back to the gym, she should be the one feeling humiliated.

What a bitch. I would seriously think about making a complaint - it is ten times more impressive when you see a bigger person sweating buckets at the gym trying to make a change for the better than some gym bunny loping along on the treadmill and having a PT embarrass you is unforgivable.

FWIW, I've always found male PTs much more supportive and understanding. I know exactly how you feel- I went from a 90kilo size 18 to 75kg size 14 in 3 months with the help of the most incredible PT. He was amazing - formerly obese himself and so really understood just how much effort it takes to even walk through the gym door if you don't feel like you fit in there. The female PTs on the other hand were all very patronising and you could tell they judged every wobble.

I agree entirely with what @PlausibleSuit said.

She was completely out of line and very unprofessional to say what she did. You are paying for their services and you should have been treated politely.

she was going on about BMI and fat etc but in quite a critical way which I totally understand as well it's bad, I know it's bad

It's a fitness plan, not a fucking religion! If you choose not to follow it, you are NOT bad!

I think you should email the manager. Not to complain as such, but this woman needs further training, shall we say...

Find another gym, find a yoga class, zumba group, anything that appeals - you're prioritising your health and that's great, but it shouldn't be punitive. Why not for a walk today or do an online workout class with music you love, if you feel like you want to do 'something' today.

I read your title and wondered what did you do? Throw up in a body attack class, fall off the treadmill, fart whilst doing squats....... but no you met an obnoxious member of staff, who bullied you.
Email with a complaint, request termination of your contract immediately due to this and go to another gym. If it is part of a larger chain escalate to head office and take it further if you can be bothered. Get out for a walk today, clear your head. Don’t let a bully bring you down.

What a horrible thing to happen! She sounds awful!

OP you should not be embarrassed she should. It is her job to help and encourage people, not berate them.

I know you feel awful, but I really would encourage you to complain, not for revenge but because the gym in general and this trainer in particular need to improve their training, attitudes, processes and customer service. It might make you feel a bit better if you know you improved things for the people who come after you.

WHAT????!!!!!!
This instructor was unprofessional, unpleasant, unsupportive and every negative thing I can think of!
I'm the same size as you op and would never experience this at my gym.
I would speak to a manager, if you feel you can't go back because of her they need to refund you your money so you can go to a more inclusive and supportive gym. I'm aghast.

You haven’t humiliated yourself

She was utterly vile and stupid. She was supposed to be showing new equipment, not doing anything else. I can’t even start with how appalling she was. She should be sacked.

OMG... please make a complaint!!! That sizeist bitch needs a good talking to. I say that as someone who has lost 60kg and maintained it after being obese for well over a decade. It’s so hard to set foot in the gym. You’ve made it further than me! I have a mental hurdle that I just can’t cross, yet you did it! She’s not selling the place!!!!

What a vile woman! Dont let this stop you! She is the very reason people don't find gyms inclusive! Is there another one in your area or a fitness group?