Binge Eaters - Anyone want to chat/support?

[NannyOldElf]

I'm NannyOldElf and I'm a binge eater.

Today i weight 21 stone. I have a BMI of 46.

Today i have eaten: a sharing size bag of crisps, a tub of ben&jerrys, a packet of biscuits, 4 dairylea dunkers

Im terrified. Of carrying on like this. of stopping. of being out of control.

I'm currently mulling over councelling and/or hypnotherapy.

right now step one is going to my aqua class tonight and working hard. properly sweating in the water hard.

Step 2 is to call a friend and arrange a coffee. i want to tell her what's wrong, to make it real by actually saying outloud to a real person 'i have binge eating disorder'.

Anyone else a binge eater and would like to join for support/chat?

Apologies Pooshy, that sounded very rude and I didn't mean it to. I'm glad that it worked for you

Hi everyone. Can I join you please? I am 5'2 and approx 15.5 stones. I have been overweight most of my life and have always struggled with binge eating.

My bingeing only occurs when I'm on my own. I'm definitely a secret eater. It's like I think, well no ones here to witness it so why not? I too hide food wrappers and takeaway tubs etc. I even order takeaways on my credit card so my husband doesn't know. Because of this, my husband doesn't understand why I am so big and keeps telling me I need to go to the dr as I must have a medical problem which is making me gain weight (our meals are generally pretty healthy.) I then have to give excuses. He just wants me to be healthy and I feel bad for letting him down.

I really want to get this under control because I know this behaviour is not right. I've already read brain over binge and while I totally get the theory, putting it in to practise is so difficult! Hopefully chatting it through here will help.

Hi catlover87. I’m still waiting for my copy of brain over binge, Due Friday apparently. I’ve read a lot of reviews for it and it seems very positive. I’m willing to give anything a try at this point. Hopefully, understanding it may help with addressing it more successfully. There seems to be a few self help books out there. Has anybody read any others that may be worth a look?...or any tips they’ve found along the way?

Hi all!

So day three complete for me just chilling out in a relaxing bath then will brush my teeth. DH has just gone for a late pint and Kids in bed ..... this will be a test as I would normally run to the fridge eek!!

Went on the shopping trip today and had fun. Monitored what I spent and what I ate and feel a success in both as I could have really gone for it but didn't!

Pig has been quiet again today. I am totally mindful right now of 'no diet' but trying to think sensibly about what I eat. I have been pleased with most decisions and have only had a few semi 'bad' choices. No chocolate crisps or biscuits the last three days at all

Bought myself a really pretty dress in the sale today, it looks terrible - I look 9 months pregnant which is ironic as my youngest turns 5 tomorrow it will not look this way for long though as I love it, it's very girly, very unlike me and I want to enjoy wearing it so that's my goal ..... to look better in that dress before we all go back to school!

Am doing well with brain over binge, gonna have another half hour reading before bed (to try keep me from fridge raiding). Also from the little I have read of it 'never binge again' seems a good read (this is where my urge name 'pig' has come from). I will return to that and finish reading it once I am done with brain over binge.

I tried Paul McKenna and have most of his books and discs .... the extra weight loss ones were all loaded into my iTunes and for some reason I now can't access them, I got rid of the originals as the case was huge! Still have the book somewhere though so will dig that out again soon, if nothing else the discs help me sleep

Hello all, may I join? I don’t weight myself - can’t bear to tbh - but I think I’m slowly recovering and it’d be great to chat to others who understand

Hi HitSheap, love your username wish I could avoid weighing myself - it's another daily bad habit.

Just checked my bookshelf for the Paul McKenna books, it appears I own 6 of the buggers, 3 of which are weight loss related ...... oh my days

morning all! hello thread newbies!

catlover i am very much a secret eater. in fact when i was chatting to my friend the other day, finally admitting my problem, she said 'you know Nanny, i dont think i've ever seen you eat' - which is probably true because i have this whole 'thing people will judge a fat person if they are eating' so i stuff my face in secret. messed up right?!

coffee well done! days out are hard because there is so much temptation!

hitsheap feel free to offload as much as you need on here, its what its for, no judgement.

so i am 5 days binge free quite proud of that! especially as DH has been away.

Yesterday was pretty good:
porradge
3x cheese and ham salad wraps
large bowl of pasta

so still rather beige and larger portions than ideal but not a binge! Louisa was howling last night but i drank buckets of water until i sloshed when i walked so couldn't fit more in.

brain over binge has arrived so will try and find time to have a read.

It's the first day of the summer holidays so stress levels will jump up when the DC start fighting!

Big positive is that i ordered the tesco delivery yesterday an i havent ordered a single extra item. it's normally my biggest binge session when i've ordered lots of binge items specifically. so proud of that.

This thread is really helping, last night when louisa was shouting and i nearly crumbled what pulled me back was saying 'i will have to post of the thread that i am back to 0 days binge free' - it was quit motivating.

Hope everyone has a good day!

I must admit Nanny the risk of having to post a 'back to 0' day is spurring me on!

I eat in public but always eat 'well' salad/low fat healthy options, will often say no to pudding or just pinch a taste of the kids ...... then get home and PIG squeals! Yesterday whilst out I ordered what I fancied and enjoyed it wasn't over stuffed felt just perfect!

Chocolate croissants for birthday breakfast this morning as a rare treat for me (kids eat them all the time I just usually have coffee) so here goes to day 4

coffee that's exactly me! only healthy stuff in public! on our day trip saturday i ordered a huge ice cream sundae with everyone else and enjoyed it! and i felt comfortably full, not stuffed and didn't feel the need for dinner. this 'eat what you want' thing is quite liberating in a way. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! hope you have a lovely day celebrating and Pig stays quiet for you!

Sorry it's my little boys birthday chocolate croissant eaten and very much enjoyed!

well happy birthday to minicoffee then!! i want a bowl of all bran for breakfast but have to wait for tesco man as have no milk. louisa is grumbling but all good so far!!

Tell Louisa I said to be quiet! Coffee said so hope tesco arrive soon so you can have your cereal! Have a good day, will check in tonight.

yes not buying the stuff is part of the victory! I notice a lot of the things I like to binge on come in single use plastic packaging btw.

Whereas a large bag of popcorn kernels you pop at home doesn't...better substitution?

Not a great day yesterday, overate a bit in the evening but not terrible - a pretty small overeating day...

Happy birthday mini coffee! Going ok here 10 days binge free and I’ve stepped on the scales to a 8lb loss..I know most of that will be bloat and salt retention leaving after not bingeing but still it’s motivating. Yesterday wasn’t great food wise but I didn’t binge and I’m taking that as a win.
Happy Wednesday all

myusername that is awesome! well done you! i'm hoping to weigh in if when i make it to one week and see if its helped.

i was just looking at the maths on calories to lose 1lb - 3,500 calories! so if you've lost 8lbs that is a huge calorie deficit! well done!

tesco arrived so i had my all bran and have just had two tuna and cheese wraps - clearly wraps are on my brain atm!! i have swim class tonight which kills my appatite so fingers crossed for the rest of the day!!

Hi, another newbie here. I remember having my first binge when I was ten years old. It really escalated once I had left home and could buy what I want. I am lucky in that I was always a skinny child, then a skinny teenager. I started putting weight on in my twenties. At first I would be a stone overweight, diet and get back to a healthy weight. Then I would become two stone overweight and had to lose that. Each time there would be more to lose and now I have nearly five stone to lose.

I am fantastic at losing weight because when I am focused I become obsessive with it. However as soon as I relax on it the bingeing starts. I even became a WW leader at one point after a four stone weight loss. That was my biggest undoing. I'd stand in front of my group acting like I was in control and had cracked the whole healthy eating thing. I'd then go home and eat several boxes of WW chocolate bars in one sitting. I had to quit because I felt like a fraud and also couldn't cope with having access to all the WW crisps and chocolate in my house.

Like many of you I eat healthy meals but it's the bingeing that leads to the weight gain. I'm a night owl and my husband goes to bed earlier than me. As soon as he goes upstairs I start to binge on food I have hidden and then hide the wrappers, I frequently wake up on the sofa at 2am surrounded by a sea of sweet and food wrappers. I find it stressful in the holidays when I have the children with me all the time so can't buy food to binge on and can't binge when they're around. I have however started ordering sweets and chocolate from Amazon. The children think I've ordered a book but instead I've got food that I can hide and eat without anyone knowing

I don't even know how I am going to start to tackle this. I'm going to look up some of the books that have been recommended on here. I have to beat this before it beats me.

morning!

So i am 6 days binge free. one more day and i've made the first week!

Three square meals yesterday:
All bran
cheese and tuna wraps
spaghetti carbonara with corgette and mushrooms.

all 3 larger than ideal portions but not even a hint of a binge yesterday! louisa hardly raised her head!

Out with the DC today and taking a picnic to avoid overeating at the cafe. again, today's goal is just not to binge and not worry overly if portion sizes are a bit big - that's next week's challenge!!

polly i too knnow with my head in the game i can lose, i lost 4 stone for my wedding 10 years ago and have yo-yoed about ever since. you start one day at a time and don't try to change too much at once.

Have a good day everyone!

Myusername and nannyOldElf, we’ll done, that’s amazing. And how lovely for an 8lb loss! That is so motivating.
Hello polly, I can totally identify with what you say, I too lost 6 stone but regained. I need to work on binge eating control techniques at the moment. My book arrives tomorrow! Hopefully it will be inspirational.
Im on my fourth day binge free and still feeling positive. I’ve had the quiet chatter of the binge monster in my head but nothing too overwhelming fortunately. I want today to be another good day.

Day 5 complete, feel flat and low and came so so very close to blowing things. Haven't eaten the best today, full of cold and I'm grumpy. But no binge, a little too much if the wrong stuff but no mindless blow out.

Had an argument tonight with DH and had a light bulb moment that he quite frankly makes me miserable! Instead of turning to food I stormed out for a walk. We're still not talking and he has gone out which is probably for the best. Feel totally invisible and alone in this house, the kids are wonderfully affectionate but I get nothing from DH, just complaints about the mess the house is in.

This whole non binging thing is making me see lots of things in a different light - some things need to give, I am not willing to juggle all the balls myself anymore and some I am just going to outright drop! Feeling anxious and reflective and an urge not to eat anymore but to change and grow in a different way (not just in a waistline kinda way!!).

How's everyone else doing today?

gracie well done on another binge free day!

coffee sorry you're feeling so low. it's truely amazing that in the light of all that and hitting a major trigger for binging you were able to walk away from it. you should be very proud of that. sorry that things with your DH aren't good right now, a miserable home life is certainly not going to help you right now how are things this morning?

So i made it! I am 1 week binge free !!! very proud of that and 4lb loss to go with it which is great. so I'm now 21st dead. a positive start! i don't feel it as its that time of the month so bloated to heck so even more encouraging that i've lost as i never do normally!!

Yesterday was good as i was busy -
2 slices of seeded toast with butter
homemade ploughmans sandwich
flapjack
quiche and salad
2 x long island iced tea
1x baileys.

food wise i felt happy as all of that was concious choices - i chose the flapjack over the crisps for example. DH and i sat out in the garden nattering which is why so many drinks but they weren't a binge and were drank over several hours so i'm ok with that. Plenty of walking yesterday too, probably 2-3 hours walking in total.

This week I want to try and cut my portion sizes a bit but still not worrying too much if not all my choices are the healthiest. the 'nothing is forbidden' aspect i think is really helping keep Louisa at bay.

A day of errands to run before being away for the weekend so making sure i have some breakfast now before i go.

Hope everyone has a good day!

I don't need to loose weight anymore, other than for vanity. I lost it all in an awful purge and starve cycle a couple of years ago.

I DO need to stop bingeing though, could I join you anyway? Now when I binge, I starve to cancel out the calories because I'm scared of putting the weight on again. This, obviously, is fucking up my body and I need to stop it.

I will binge on literally anything, which is hard because I have to have food in the house for the kids. Bags of sugar, plain rice, bread, jars of peanut butter, cake deccorations, even just plain flour which I turn in to chappati. All fair game when I've eaten everything else. I had to stop making hoummous after I ate an entire jar of tahini mixed with brown sugar whrn I'd run out of anything else. I can eat 10,000 calories easily in a binge.

So, what do I do? I know what started it (food deprivation as a child, followed by moving in with my grandparents who always had a full larder), but I can't stop it. Any eating can set me off, but I can't just never eat.

The only thing that helps is having someone watch everything I eat 24 hours a day, but that's not feasible.

Welcome Herja, you are amongst friends here!

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, was still mulling the argument over with DH. We go through these phases every summer, I am a hobby widow and it's around this time every year it gets too much. It's made worse this year as he is traveling often during the week with work. So when he criticises the state of the house I lose it! It's clean it's just full of kids stuff. He had thrown out some stuff belonging to DS without checking first and so I lost it. Ironically it was him who wanted children, I never did - now they are my world and a few toys lying here and there just don't bother me. I am grateful they have such lovely things. He will get over himself, if not he knows where the door is!

So I think I am on day 7?! Have lost track?! There is a weekend now of birthday celebrations for DD (busy week in this house) so lots of naughty foods around for bbqs and birthday parties. I am now thinking about weight loss strategies - feeling like I can do this now I am not constantly thinking about my next binge!

The weight really does need to come off as one of my hands is starting with a flare up. I must make a dr appt soon too as think I may be starting with fibromyalgia - common apparently with hypermobile joints plus my grandmother suffers with it badly. I have been told repeatedly by Drs I need to drop some weight for symptoms to improve .....

How's everyone else getting on?

Place marking to come back and read properly later.

I'm in your gang.

I'd like to lose the joy I feel when totally stuffed, feeling a bit nauseous and sticky mouthed. Right before the revulsion...

morning all!!

I've been away for the weekend so couldn't post.

welcome herja and vivarium you are among friends who understand, this is a safe place to be totally honest about your feelings and problems with no judgement.

herja the only way to start is one day at a time. and to not to try and change too much in one go. I have started by just focusing on the binge, so my diet still hasnt been good but it is only at meals and i have not binged, maybe try that as a starting point?

*vivarium i know that feeling well. i've been doing some 'positive affermation' type stuff - when feeling comfortably full (not stuffed) i've been thinking about that feeling and that this is 'normal' and 'happy' and 'good' to try and break my association with the stuffed and sick feeling.

coffee i'm sorry you're feeling low. i'm also a sport widow, especially in the summer, its hard DH not being around at all on saturdays and its a definite trigger time for me. trying to make sure i have plans so i dont just hang around at home alone. i always feel bad the house isn't as clean as i'd like but luckily DH doesnt seem to notice too much! Can you arrange to go away for a few days and leave the DC with DH? with a list of all the things you need him to get done before he can start on the jobs he thinks should be done? always a good wake up call on how time demanding kids are.

So i am 9 days binge free !

They haven't been the most healthy few days as we have been away and long car journey so harder to do proper meals. however i have not binged and snacked sensibly - one normal sized bag of crisps not a family share pack! there was a fair bit of wine involved and some pizza last night so i'm not expecting i will get much weight loss this week but i'm ok with that and focusing on the fact i have not binged. Louisa has been muttering but only one moment when i really struggled.

I'm at home with DC1 and DC4 today as my middle two are out. having a really tough time with DC1 (8) right now, properly teenage style 'its not fair' 'you always stop me having fun' 'you always blame me' etc etc. it's another trigger as i feel like i'm failing at parenting him properly. this has been going on for a few months now and not getting much better. should be a bit better today as DC2 (6) is not here and they are the pair that really wind each other up.

So basically i'm feeling a bit down today and suspect Louisa may pounce. and the knowledge of that makes me feel quite deflated. will see how i go.

Good luck today everyone.

I'm still here, busy day yesterday with DC1s birthday party! The mental birthday week is now over, all parties, bbq's, present unwrapping done!

And even with all that still binge free, day 8 completed yesterday have eaten lots of naughty things over the weekend but no binge, everything has been eaten mindfully!

Nanny the kids go away with relatives next week so I get a break - love how their grandparents can recognise I need some time to myself but my DH fails to see it. He was put out as I was trying to arrange a night out for myself and he isn't invited! I will also be planning some sort of spa day plus a shopping day with my sister. My house actually isn't that bad it just seems the cleaner/tidier it is the cleaner/tidier he wants it. It's not possible to maintain his levels with 2 kids in the house and all the stuff they attract. I have told him they aren't kids forever, soon they will have no interest in toys and no interest in him either! He should enjoy both before they become stroppy teenagers

So gonna attempt a 500 cal day today. Feel ready to work on the weight loss now and want to drop 10lb before we all go back to school in 5 weeks.

Haven't had much chance to pick up the book this weekend but should get an hour before bed tonight to pick it up again!

Here's to day 9 and a successful fast day (eek).