Binge Eaters - Anyone want to chat/support?

[NannyOldElf]

I'm NannyOldElf and I'm a binge eater.

Today i weight 21 stone. I have a BMI of 46.

Today i have eaten: a sharing size bag of crisps, a tub of ben&jerrys, a packet of biscuits, 4 dairylea dunkers

Im terrified. Of carrying on like this. of stopping. of being out of control.

I'm currently mulling over councelling and/or hypnotherapy.

right now step one is going to my aqua class tonight and working hard. properly sweating in the water hard.

Step 2 is to call a friend and arrange a coffee. i want to tell her what's wrong, to make it real by actually saying outloud to a real person 'i have binge eating disorder'.

Anyone else a binge eater and would like to join for support/chat?

[Myusername2015]

Hope everyone has a had a great weekend. I’m super proud this is the first weekend in a very long time I haven’t binged. I’m loving the techniques in the brain over binge book and have decided to ditch any kind of diet but work on nourishing foods as a basis. I had poached eggs toast and avocado for lunch; normally I wouldn’t go anywhere near the avocado if “dieting” but it was lovely and definitely not restricting calories too far is helping with the binge urges.
Here’s to a great binge “Louisa” free week for us all!

[Bimgy85]

I got up to 15 stone at age 15, lost 4 stone and a few years later creeping back up to that :( I'm on contraception injection and hungry all day everyday. Absolutely no motivation to eat a bit healthier or less. Today had 2 portions of dinner and was hungry ten mins later.

It's not just snacks. It's huge bars of chocolate, tortillas with dip, fizzy drinks, I've had seven chocolate bars since last night. Boyfriend and mum constantly asking in shock how can I eat so much

[NannyOldElf]

morning all! Hello to the new joiners!

myusername congrats on your binge free weekend! big achievement!

bimgy is the injection your only contraceptive option? i've had to come off all hormone based ones as i felt they messed with me too much.

well i survived the day out! not healthily mind you but no binging!

So i am 3 days binge free!

i ate: fruit salad and yoghurt
half a pizza hut pizza
cookie dough pudding
ice cream sundae.

so like i said, not healthy at all BUT normally i would have had that and then come home and had dinner on top. The ice cream sundae replaced dinner. And i walked for 4 hours solid yesterday so hoping that will mitigate against any damage.

the next few days will be tough as DH is away which is classic for me stocking up and binging the whole time. I can already hear Louisa muttering in my head 'no-one will know' 'you know you want to'. Currently i'm drinking a big glass of water and see if the hunger nibbles will abate. i wanted to try a fast day but i'm not sure its a good idea as my worse binges tend to be after trying to fast. might try a modified fast day - so more like 800 rather than 500 cals so i can have 3 small meals.

I'm torn because i want to lose weight but i think i know that i need to deal with the binging first as dieting seems to make the issue worse. I'm hoping if i can combine staying binge free with healthier choices i will lose some weight along the way.

I'm trying really hard to focus on how nice it is going to bed without feeling stuffed and sick. trying to think about the plane seat i have to fit into in november.

I'm meeting a friend for coffee this morning so i want to tell her what's going on, make it 'real' in RL if you see what i mean?

Think i've typed long enough that Louisa had backed off for now. the day is young though!

Good luck today everyone!

[coffeecupdreams]

Day 1 completed for me, yesterday was fairly healthy too!

3 rashers grilled bacon and a few strawberries - breakfast
Salami, cheese & cucumber - lunch
3/4 small galia melon & nuts to snack on
Grilled seasoned chicken, 4 tbsp wholemeal rice, 3 tbsp Greek yogurt, tomato basil pepper salad - tea
One small glass rose wine

I agree Nanny that 'dieting' right now is not the way to go. I want to concentrate on good food in healthy/normal quantities. Have started reading brain over binge and this is what jumped out to me in the first part of the book?!

Bimgy I would certainly be looking at a different type of contraception if the injection is causing you to binge!! Can you go back and discuss this with your GP? I know you can't do much until it wears off but you may be able to get some support/help in the meantime!

Pig is quiet today so far here, long may that live!!! Here's to day 2!!

[marycontraryquite]

Hello to everyone. Wow, I am so sorry so many of us are dealing with this but it is really great reading your stories. Thanks for sharing.

I had an ok weekend because it was quite busy which always helps. I totally agree with others, now is not the time to focus on weight loss for me, instead i am just determined to stop the binge cycle.

My tummy feels faintly empty this morning and I haven't actually felt that feeling for a long time. I have recently been binging before bed which results in me waking up feeling full. I didn't do that last night. I am embracing it as a positive and focusing on how good it is to not feel bloated and stuffed. However, I am also battling to stop myself binging on bread (my major vice) so I am going to get up and take the dog out for a walk before I am further tempted to get the toaster going!

I thought I would add this quote from Caitlin Moran which has always struck me as very true in relation to over eating or binging. Have a good day everyone.

Overeating is the addiction of choice of carers, and that's why it's come to be regarded as the lowest-ranking of all the addictions. It's a way of fucking yourself up while still remaining fully functional, because you have to. Fat people aren't indulging in the "luxury" of their addiction making them useless, chaotic, or a burden. Instead, they are slowly self-destructing in a way that doesn't inconvenience anyone. And that's why it's so often a woman's addiction of choice. All the quietly eating mums. All the KitKats in office drawers. All the unhappy moments, late at night, caught only in the fridge light.
Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman

[Pinkyponkcustard]

Totally agree with that quote Mary

Well done everyone on successful weekends.
Glad brain over binge is helping you my username

I’ve not had a brilliantly healthy diet sat/sun due to being away but no binging and no urges either.

[ChickenFriedMice]

Hello all, I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder last year and had a short course of therapy for it. I found the therapy very helpful yet challenging (I'd often have my biggest binges the night after a session) However I'm bigger than ever and have even been considering weight loss surgery as I'm terrified of what this weight is doing to me.

I definitely agree it's a form of self harm. I found the approach to treatment interesting as my counsellor said they treat all eating disorders in the same way. 3 meals a day, 2 snacks a day, food diary with particular detail spent on how you felt at the time. No banned food.

I've yet to properly put it into practice. I'm afraid of failing so I don't even try. I become obsessive on diets and they become all consuming. Then I inevitably fail and binge worse than ever. I just wish it wasn't such a huge presence in my mind.

[Myusername2015]

Chickenfriedmice you could be me. I was also considering surgery; but I know I need to tackle this as even post surgery I could still binge through milkshakes etc. I’ve definitely scrapped the whole diet mentality and stopped weighing myself and it has helped massively not thinking “well I’ll binge now as tomorrow I start a 800 calorie diet again.
I also saw this tip on a Facebook page that might help some of us TRY THIS THE NEXT TIME YOU HAVE AN URGE TO BINGE EAT: Next time the urge hits, take a deep breath in while tensing all your muscles, then let everything go as you breathe out. Repeat three times.

This can deactivate the fight or flight response which is behind the urge to binge. See, the urge comes from the body’s perception that you’re in a "feast or famine emergency" and it activates the sympathetic nervous system to deal with the "urgent" need.

Deep breathing and muscle relaxation activates the parasympathetic system to take your body OUT of emergency status, often reducing the urge to binge.

[ChickenFriedMice]

Thanks for that I'll definitely give it a try

[beachfrontparadiso]

Anybody else have the issue that if they manage to stave off a food binge, they drink too much or spend too much instead? Bingeing is one one a range of not great too much behaviours for me, it’s like wack-a-mole

[NannyOldElf]

mary that quote really resonates with me too, scarily so.

i've had an up and down day. i meet up with a friend and i confessed that i binge. she was really supportive and we chatted for hours. i feel better in some ways and worse in others. mostly i feel very drained.

foodwise, again not the healthiest but i havent binged. i working on allowing myself to have whatever i want in moderation, so i dont associate certain foods with binging.

so today i have had:
2 slices of wholemeal toast with butter.
2 cheese wraps
2 ham wraps
2 slices of toast with chocolate spread.

so 4 meals and small meals by my usual standards. and whilst Louisa has been shouting i havent given in. i have wanted to let each meal go to a full binge but i havent given in! so feeling proud of that. the next few hours will be hard as DH away but i'm typing away to give my hands something to do!

Hope everyone else has had a good day.

[coffeecupdreams]

Beach - I do everything to excess, I don't drink often but when I do I get wasted. I won't shop for ages then blow all my money plus some in an hour ..... I'm noticing a pattern here!

Been checking in on the thread but felt a bit down today like reality has really kicked in, hence I haven't posted much. Been 'flat' mood wise which lead to the biscuit cupboard door opening, I ALMOST went for it but closed the door again and walked away. My day hasn't been as healthy as yesterday was but I can call it day 2 of binge freeness!!

Hi to everyone who has joined us today - I feel a little sad there are so many of us but also still a little relieved that I am not alone!

Shopping day with my kids and sharers tomorrow so lots of walking and temptation food wise! Will only take what cash I need for bus fare and lunch (and a couple of needed items from primark) then I can't overspend/overeat etc

[coffeecupdreams]

Should read 'kids & sisters'

[GoodFortuneAttendThee]

I totally relate to the "if it's not eating it's something else". I grew up with an alcoholic mother..and I never became an alcoholic, but I do seem to have inherited the addiction factor and become something else.

[coffeecupdreams]

Mine definitely came from being poor and doing without! Was bullied as s child a lot for not wearing the right clothes, everything I had was a hand me down from cousins. My parents did their best it's just how things were.

All three of us (I have 2 sisters) are now married to very successful men, whilst we are not rolling in money, we have a nice quality of life and our children will never go without. I now push the limits I never could as a child food wise/money wise though in destructive ways it seems! Currently trying to pay off a small secret credit card bill that's been hanging over my head for a while too

[beachfrontparadiso]

Addictions all over my family too. We had a period of having nothing, I don’t know if that’s it in my case, definitely having things makes me feel secure, but it’s gotten out of hand.

[beachfrontparadiso]

Not a great day food wise - ok til the end of the day but kids fighting a lot and ate a tub of mini rolls before bed. They’re already fighting again!

[beachfrontparadiso]

For money and having things, I read recently that losing everything actually makes you more of a reckless gambler, this is what happened to us, all of my family are like this.

I might think about the medication as I had no idea it existed til a few days ago.

[NannyOldElf]

reading this it sounds like i'm 'lucky' in a way as i dont seem to have any other excessive habits. i just hope i dont replace binging with something worse!!

coffee sorry you're feeling down. but focus on the positives - you said no to binging!

beach i feel that pain, my older two are like cat and dog and its one of my main triggers. but today is a new day, you can do this!

like most others a lot of my problems stem from childhood issues - my DM also has weight issues so i was very concious of it all growing up. and then i was bullied through school. as a teen i 'dabbled' for want of a better word with a form of anorexia, i just stopped eating except for dry cereal for dinner. but DM noticed after a few weeks and started making me sit with her to eat so that stopped that. then i went the other way and started hiding food to eat when she wasnt looking. so yeah, the issues started young and have come in and out of my life since.

so, positives - i am 4 days binge free! that's the longest its been in a while!

i've just had a bowl of porridge and a cup of tea and now have a mountain of laundry to fold and any other household jobs before the DC break up this afternoon. Hopefully plenty to keep me out of the larder! there is no 'binge' food here though which i hope will help. DH away again tonight so that will be hard.

[Gracie65]

The ‘first day of the new me” yesterday went well. Completely binge free. Now on to day two, already facing the chatter of the binge monster (can’t think of an appropriate name), but so far i’m determined to not succumb. I’m workin on ‘1 day at a time’ and just getting through until I go to bed. That in itself will be an achievement for me. I’m trying to focus on as many positives as I can in a day and am being a little kinder to myself. Focusing on the negatives like “how have I let myself get like this, I’m disgusting” and looking at the amount of weight I have to lose will just pull me back in to the binge cycle. So you know what?....bugger the negatives! Today is a whole new day and im going to get through it binge free! That will be my achievement for the day!
A pat on the back is well deserved for you all, you’re all doing amazingly.
I’ve just been watching a few weight loss success stories on YouTube for inspiration.
I’m also armed with sugar free gum just in case the binge monster comes knocking!

[glitterina]

Yes I'm a binger. Always have been, and I feel totally alone. All the other mums around me are a healthy weight and I'm so envious. Then there's me.

I would love to click my fingers and snap myself out of it. I would love to know what it feels like to be able to buy any item of clothing I fancied and always look nice.

My dad died when I was 9 and that's when it really all started for me. I've used food as a "great big hug" for so long and it's slowly suffocating me. I've done every diet known to man, SW, WW, Cal counting, Cambridge, Atkins.. the list goes on. I always go back to my bad habits.

[Pooshy]

Hi Nanny

Not read the thread but just to let you know I have binged for 20 years (to the point of bulimia when I was younger)

I've read a few books and had counselling but the ONLY thing that has helped me and I'm now binge free for 4 months, is the Paul McKenna, I can make you think book and hypnotherapy CD that it comes with

Could be worth a try as it's changed my life and I'm so much more relaxed and happy now I don't have that daily stress

I've lost weight too and it's SO easy

[GoodFortuneAttendThee]

I did try the Paul Mckenna, but no joy. Sorry.

[Schmoozer]

Hi there, i work in the field of treating binge eating, great to see this thread and the support here,
I'd recommend Overcoming Binge Eating by Fairburn and this online course
www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=48

www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=49

Binge eating disorder is a significant eating disorder that can really impair your life, be kind to yourself, recovery is very possible but its hard work along the way x

[NannyOldElf]

hello to the new posters

glitterina i feel the same walking waddling into the playground. we have a school mums running group so there they all are in their lycra and then there is me.

thanks for the recommendations pooshy and schmoozer - i'm going to try the brain over binge book first and see how i go and then i may look at the paul mckenna stuff.

still holding firm. about to make some lunch. Louisa has been quieter than normal today which is good. Cheese, ham and salad wraps today is what i fancy. and only 2 of them, not my usual 4...or 6....