Binge Eaters - Anyone want to chat/support?

[NannyOldElf]

I'm NannyOldElf and I'm a binge eater.

Today i weight 21 stone. I have a BMI of 46.

Today i have eaten: a sharing size bag of crisps, a tub of ben&jerrys, a packet of biscuits, 4 dairylea dunkers

Im terrified. Of carrying on like this. of stopping. of being out of control.

I'm currently mulling over councelling and/or hypnotherapy.

right now step one is going to my aqua class tonight and working hard. properly sweating in the water hard.

Step 2 is to call a friend and arrange a coffee. i want to tell her what's wrong, to make it real by actually saying outloud to a real person 'i have binge eating disorder'.

Anyone else a binge eater and would like to join for support/chat?

[NannyOldElf]

myusername a whole week! thats awesome! well done!

i'm twitching again, but being strong and saying no. i'm not hungry, not even slightly. its habit and boredom talking.

i have named my binge monster. her name is Louisa. named after the totall cowbag who made my life hell at school (which i suspect may have been one of the starts to this whole issue). Apologies to any nice louisas who may be on this thread!!

[Gracie65]

Well done myusername2015, That’s a great achievement! You rightly should be proud of yourself.
You probably have met people with binging disorder and food addiction in real life but It’s not something that people like to freely admit through fear of being judged. The media doesn’t help. I think binge eating certainly isn’t viewed with the same sympathy as anorexia and bulimia although it can be life limiting also. I feel other eating disorders get far more medical help and support whereas the over eaters, food addicts, binge eaters, tend to be blamed and often seen as a drain on NHS resources. It’s a very narrow minded view and adds to the sense of shame.
I tend to hide in the shadows and do most of my eating alone. My family are even oblivious to the extent and ferocity of this horrible eating disorder, they just say things like...” you need to lose weight so you can enjoy life” and “when are you going to go on a diet”. Outwardly, I’m quite an extrovert person, but inwardly I fight these food demons constantly! I feel inspired by this thread. Thank you everyone.

[Myusername2015]

Love the idea of naming the binge monster! I’ve just been re reading binge over brain and she says to treat the binge feelings as the animalistic part of the brain from primitive times of starvation it’s telling us to binge. But the human part of the brain can just observe those feelings and not act on them. I find this really useful as previously I would spend ages fighting myself over whether to binge or not.
You’ve got this Nannyoldelf..I’ve brushed my teeth to stop temptation tonight. Think how good we will feel in the morning when we didn’t give into evil Louisa!

[Gracie65]

NannyOldElf...I love the naming of your binge monster! It made be chuckle! “Louisa”.....may you kick her to the kerb and be rid of her forever!

[coffeecupdreams]

Nanny yes slim fast does exist but its full of rubbish! I went to a health food shop and asked them to recommend something I could use in a similar manner I.e. to 'replace' 2 meals a day. They recommended PhD diet whey. I have tried most flavours and they are all quite lovely ...... just wish I could get my head around using them as recommended!

I have a totally disordered approach to food, I panic in various different ways! I feel restricted/starving/useless/panicky/anxious regarding almost everything I eat. I can be very obsessive about following a plan then completely blow it. I like to write lists - I have probably written thousands on how I can lose weight/what foods I can/can't eat. I know all the plans out there, weight watchers, slimming world, food combining, low carb high fat, low fat, etc etc. I can advise friends what to try depending on what results they want to achieve yet I can't apply/stick to any of it myself

This thread has totally inspired me though to get this sorted once and for all! Just tried to cancel my book order as I was going to download it instead to kindle. Have found myself with some unexpected free time tomorrow so wanted to get stuck in but I am too late to cancel the book as it's been dispatched to arrive Sunday ..... ah well never mind. Maybe I could write another list tomorrow, with and action plan, one I will try my hardest to stick to this time

[coffeecupdreams]

Sorry for typos I always post on my phone

[Pinkyponkcustard]

Right I’ve had a urge this morning, so deployed the brain over binge approach:

So we went out for dinner last night and I’ve woken up feeling bloated, dh has gone to football with dc so I’m in the house by myself. So I’ve got the double whammy of the old “you’ve blown it now” (not true) and empty house, so free time to binge. In the past in these circumstances I would have binged and this is what my ed brain remembers.

I noticed the little whispers - you’ve blown it now, no one will know, you’ve done so well losing weight, it will help you relax etc I’ve recognised that they are there and what they are - faulty brain wiring by repeatedly binging and in the past binging in this situation.

I’ve not distracted myself, done what I planned to do - dishwasher, real housewives of Beverley hills (I know) online banking and the whispers have gone away.

It took about 45 mins, I’ve not eaten or drunk anything in that time.

[coffeecupdreams]

Well done Pinky!

I can sometimes resist the urge but in the main I can't! Sometimes I just don't want to I am really looking forward to the book arriving tomorrow!

Just sat with a coffee, I don't eat breakfast. Never hungry for breakfast and it's the only time of day I feel relief from it all. There's a lot of 'chatter' in my head this morning, going to put pen to paper soon to straighten some of the noise out. I am still excited by this thread it has made me think I can finally do this! I just need to figure out my long term approach.

I turn 40 in 44 weeks time. I have 50lbs to lose. So by my calculation I can do this at roughly 1lb a week. Would also like to go back to school run/work in 6 weeks time noticeably smaller.

[Mrsfloss]

Can I join? I’m a binge eater.

I got referred by my go to therapy and currently in week 8. We go through the fair burn book overcoming binge eating. I hit a rock bottom in about week 4 and had 4 days of really bad binging and starving. I now am just attempting three meals a day through greysheet. It’s pretty hard, three meals a day, no sugars or grains. Slot of support though. I was day 18 but had a little binge last night but am now back on track

[Pinkyponkcustard]

Thanks coffee - I know what you mean there is something so comforting about a binge. I go into a trance almost and I don’t think about anything.

Isn’t that interesting about breakfast too - you’ve never binged then so never got the urge and all the noise goes away. That’s how I imagine life must be for people that don’t binge.

Welcome mrsfloss

[GoodFortuneAttendThee]

Hope everyone has the best day they can today. I know Mumsnet hate hugs, but hugs to everyone.

[Pinkyponkcustard]

Aww thanks good fortune!

Have a hug and a from me x

[coffeecupdreams]

Welcome Mrsfloss and well done on your progress so far.

Pinky I have never had the urge to binge on a morning. My urges definitely come once I start eating around lunchtime. Some days I can get home from the school run and all is good. Then it's just a constant binge until bed. The noise in my head is astounding somedays ..... a constant battle with myself regarding my actions and the consequences of those actions. The noise was definitely quieter when I was successful low carbing.

I have woken up today with swollen finger joints too which is another side effect for me when eating crap carbs/sugar. I am 'lucky' today it's my fingers that are flaring up. When a knee/hip/ankle joint flares it's pure agony. Need to nip this in the bud again before a lower limb becomes an issue.

Definitely going down the low carb route that is for sure!! Aiming still also to fast on Monday's and Thursdays.

Day one for me ...... let's do this!!!

[GoodFortuneAttendThee]

Thank you..and I totally understand about the trance thing..it's like I don't even really know that I'm eating sometimes.

[coffeecupdreams]

I think trying to be more mindful when eating is another good step forward! The amount of times I have 'woken' from binge trance to see all the empty wrapper is disturbing!

Anyone else hide food packaging too?

[marycontraryquite]

Oh how lovely to read this thread. I have been a binge eater for more years than I can remember. I really identify with the all or nothing school of eating. I have lost and gained 10's of stones over the years and currently at 20 something stones am at my heaviest.

I have always associated food with every event and emotion from tragic to joyful. This has progressed to binging almost daily, particularly this year as it has been immensely stressful. I feel a compulsion that I can't resist. Although, being busy does distract me and lessen my compulsions. I need this to stop. I feel disgusting most of the time. My stomach feels full all the time and I just hate the weight I have put on. I have always been fat and I didn't have too much of a problem with that but this year, it has become extreme.

I have bought the book recommended earlier in the thread. Thanks. I will read it and hope to begin to deal with my demons.

It is great to hear all your stories and to know I am not alone. I am the fat one amongst all my friends and family and I don't think anyone could begin to understand my actions around food. It feels lonely sometimes so it's wonderful to be on here.

[Pinkyponkcustard]

Welcome Mary

[NannyOldElf]

welcome mrsfloss and mary

gosh its amazing how many people feel exactly as i do and have the same issues and emotions and compulsions as me.

pinky well done on saying no! that's excellent!

coffee i too sometimes actually think i feel that i dont want to say no the binge which is an emotion i really struggle to understand in myself.

So I am 1 day binge free. Small steps but one day at a time is the way this has to be.

Saturdays are hard as DH is out all day so i'm home alone with the DC but so far so ok. I had 2 cheese wraps (often a binge food) but left the house to take the kids to cricket club immediately after so couldn't progress it to a binge. Said no the cakes at the cricket and only had a couple of bits of french stick. Louisa is murmuring in the back of my mind but not shouting right now. i am not hungry, i'm just slightly below comfortable. going to drink a pint of water and see if that helps.

i think i may find myself coming on here to post 'i want to binge' as just by doing that gives my fingers something to do that isnt opening a bag of food!

so far i would recommend the naming of the binge monster, it's kinda fun and empowering to think 'shut up louisa' in my head!

Today's distractions include building shelves for the shed and tidying the house which looks like a bomb has gone off. i have a lot of parcels to pack up ready to post and the kids have brought home all their tat delightful artwork from the year that i need to sort out. That should keep me occupied for a while!

[coffeecupdreams]

Nanny I started reading a book once that said to name the binge. Think he called his 'The Pig' or something. Off to go and double check on my kindle app as I'm sure it's in their somewhere! He would tell the pig to shut up! He also said to list foods you can eat in unlimited amounts, some foods you will allow occasionally and a list of food you will aim to NEVER eat again. Need to go finish that book I think now I have been reminded I have it! Did you read it too I wonder?

[NannyOldElf]

coffee i havent read that book. in all honest the idea actually came from a friend who battled cancer. she named her tumour and found it a really empowering way to fight back - it was personal, the tumour had a name, she felt she was fighting a specific rather than a generic. now i'm not for a minute comparing binge eating to cancer but i liked the idea of making this fight personal to me, to give it really meaning to me. early days but its helping right now!

those lists sound a good plan. may try that too!

[coffeecupdreams]

Sorry that should read naming the 'urge' to binge.

Book is called 'never binge again' and I was correct he called his voice/urge 'pig'.

I admire your friends spirit! Had a cancer scare myself a few years ago following a miscarriage they were dark times. Thankfully mine came to nothing, not sure how I would have coped had it been any different

Trotting off to think of a name!!

[GoodFortuneAttendThee]

I have "never binge again"..did it actually help anyone?

[coffeecupdreams]

I only got 20% through it according to my kindle so picking it up again now! Like the idea of naming my 'urge' and 'pig' is working for me so sticking with that name I think! Will try read some more of it later.

[beachfrontparadiso]

I know I sometimes binge to manage difficult emotions I can’t process in a better way, situations that are draining.

[HurricaneHalle]

I binge due to boredom or wanting to be distracted from the crazy day of parenting and so "a treat" is my own justification for stuffing my face and getting through the day.

I'm usually a crisp person. Always a family pack. I even check which bags have the most weight!