The Giving Up Diets For Good Support Thread 1

[WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo]

Lately there have been a few threads lately from Mumsnetters who are either desperate to get off the treadmill of dieting, or who have already made the decision to quit but are struggling to eat normally again after depriving themselves for so long (like this one and this one). A few of us agreed that a dedicated thread to those giving up dieting was worth setting up, so here it is. We've put it in Weight Loss Chat because it most likely place for people to find us because, let's face it, it's trying to succeed and failing at weight loss that has brought us to this point.

This thread is a place for people to seek support from others in the same boat. It is NOT a thread on which to recommend diets. However well-meaning your intentions may be by doing that, please understand that the reason we are all on this thread is because we've reached the point where we know diets simply don't work for us and we are looking for another way to maintain our health and overcome the psychological issues that years of dieting and disordered eating has inflicted upon us. If anyone persists in promoting diets, we shall - in the nicest possible way! - ask you to remove your post or get MNHQ to do it for us.

Hi all.

I love this thread. I feel that I have a problem with binge eating, and it is usually an emotional response - ie, if I'm happy or celebrating, I eat. If I'm sad or pissed off, I eat. If I'm bored...I eat.

I am vegan but that has never been about weight loss or dieting (sorry if it's not ok to say that here??) - is there anyone in the same position who chooses not to eat certain foods for moral reasons but still wants to break the dieting cycle?

I'm not frightened to eat but I do often struggle when I am feeling emotional, or bored (I work from home a lot). My husband loves crisps and biscuits, I made him get a lock box to keep them in otherwise I'd just eat them all. Sometimes, I can't help myself and I go out and buy things for the specific purpose of eating them before he gets home and hiding the packaging in the boot of my car because I'm so embarrassed.

Trampire...I just read what you wrote,I just wanted to suggest vitamins I too felt very woolly headed and tired ,I take liquid iron,liquid magnesium, a multi vit,b12,d3. Omegas,369.potassium..cost me a fortune,approx £30 each month...but I'm thinking clearer,and I've got to 45 with out taking any vitamins,and with having an utterly awful / restricted diet.im 99% vegan. {99%because I ate the Easter eggs last year}... I do feel mentally better on the vitamins ..it was that or some heavy duty shit the gp was insisting I needed...anyway.just a thought ,about the vitamins xx

Lp17(waving at you) I'm vegan ...3 years apart from a slip up last year for a day

@Springsnake hi!! How do you think veganism lines up with a "no diet" approach? I'm not super strict about it ie I will eat at restaurants that serve meat or products that are at risk of cross-contamination....

Hi lp17..I think a proper vegan diet is the ultimate no diet ,diet.i personally don't think there is anything better for your body...I just wish I could put that in to practice...I get very bad upset stomach if I eat to much veg (bag of yesterday's carrots I'm looking at you). And fruit is the same...I can't eat spicy food,I can't eat vegan quorn,I can't eat vegan mince.my insides can't tolerate any of it..so I probably would be better going back to vegetarian..but I became vegan for the animals not for health..how long have you been vegan and is your family?

I have very happily scoffed a Costa pain au raisin for breakfast - I like not dieting! Now I just have to hope I don't end up fat as a pig...must not look up the calories in a pain au raisin, though! I will go up to Pret for a salad for lunch.

I think getting out of the mindset that you'll end up fat is perhaps the hardest thing to overcome about not dieting TooExtra and it's why it's taken me a few attempts. That and not looking up calories!

My OH invested in an exercise bike because he hurt his knee and had to stop running, so I've been using it a bit in the last couple of weeks and I feel sooooooo much better for it. And because I'm feeling a bit fitter, I'm not wanting to eat as much rubbish. Must keep it up!

Wondering how you're doing, Messy? I hope you've had a good week.

Hi,where has everyone gone?

I'm still here! How are you doing, Springsnake? I've been dreading the long weekend because it mostly involves us entertaining and eating and drinking with friends but now it's here I'm actually feeling relaxed about it and, as a consequence, I'm eating pretty normally, bar the odd mini egg here and there!

I wish Messy would check in too. I hope she's doing okay.

I've been feeling rough. Had a reoccurring sore throat and now with added headache. I've had an almost permanent headache since weds. Driving me mad. Its like waking up with a hangover every day.

So been eating quite sporadically and a lot of carbs! Wish it would bugger off now

Hello everyone...well inlaws turned up with 6 expensive vegan eggs,that the children don't like...but I do..so I've had to go out and replace them all...I've not eaten any yet..but they are my favourite..it's that moo free chocolate,made with rice milk and delicious...so I'm going to limit myself to an egg a week till they are gone..

Hope you feel better soon lady..it's hard eating reasonably when you are ill and just need carbs

I'm still here but haven't posted because my eating has been rubbish.
I feel totally out of control and don't know how to stop. Utterly fed up of it.

If you aren't dieting ever again then your eating isn't out of control. Be a use you aren't trying to control your eating.

I'm not bothered that I've been subsisting on carbs and chocolate for 4 days, because I'm ill, I'm listening to my body and what's the worst that could happen? I gain a few pounds. So what? Not the end of the world.

For me once I knew I was never, ever going to dent myself anything, I stopped feeling the need to binge. I still eat chocolate and cake, but not in secret and not by the bucket load. Because I don't need to, I can have more if I want.

Spinner, I agree with Tufted - your eating isn't out of control, it's just not being controlled by a diet and that's scary if you've been following them for years and years. I've been doing this for over two months now and I have at least one day a week where I'm gorging when I'm not hungry. But the next day my eating goes back to normal - generally three meals a day and some fruit snacks – so I don't panic about it. The longer you do this, the easier it will get.

Interestingly, last night we went out with friends and beforehand I couldn't decide what to wear and out of curiosity I tried on an old favourite top I haven't worn for about two years because it was way too tight. I'm thrilled to say that it wasn't as tight as it had been (but still a bit tighter than looked good, so I didn't wear it), so I think I've lost the initial lbs I gained when I stopped dieting and my body is finding its own happy weight.

It is hard just letting go and trusting your body to know what it needs

Hi OP, thanks for this thread. I have an appalling relationship with food and have been on and off diets for about 15 years, this also includes extreme restriction and bulimia. Of course I'm fatter than ever .

I feel sad when I look back at all the time I've wasted reading about diets and thinking about food, calories and all the things I haven't done because of my weight. I really want to stop the cycle of binging and dieting but I do also really need to lose weight for my health. So what to do?

I know I sound like I get commission, but I would read Sandra Aamodt and watch her TED talk.

There is evidence to show that if you are overweight, but exercise, don't smoke, don't drink too much and eat 5+ fruit and veg, then your health outcomes are the same as someone of a normal weight.

What I've done is just stopped controlling what I eat. I ate a whole Easter egg yesterday. The idea is eventually, and it won't start straight away, my body will get used to it and I will be able to read the signals my body sends.

Hello, just thought I'd pop on to say that I gave up dieting several years ago now, and have never been happier. I'm also lighter than ever and would never have slimmed down to my current weight by following any sort of diet regime.

I started after reading Paul McKenna's book, and that then led me to read up on intuitive eating - How to Have Your Cake and Your Skinny Jeans was enlightening for me, as well as Beyond Chocolate, and Intuitive Eating. It all makes so much sense once you get your head around it. I've had a fair few blips where I've been led astray back onto the dieting road, but I haven't now been tempted to diet for a long time. It doesn't work - dieting is simply the wrong approach to take if weight loss is your goal!

I now eat when I'm hungry, I eat what I genuinely want to eat (not what I think I should eat), and my weight stays the same. I don't eat only food that's been deemed 'healthy' - I eat all sorts.

Hope I don't sound smug - just wanted to reassure you all that you're doing the right thing. Life's so much better once you stop trying to restrict your eating.

Hi Flighty, good to hear from someone who has been and done it. Well done!

Are you sure you're not her, Tufted?

Hi Teaches, I think it boils down to taking a massive leap of faith and trusting that your body will rediscover its natural signals about food. It's NOT a quick fix - it can take months/years to overcome disordered eating. But what's the alternative? More diets, more weight yo-yoing and getting even bigger. I don't know about you, but I can't bear it. Definitely read this book as it has an interesting theory on what causes us to binge.

I'd suggest having a read of Messy's posts, because she's been offered brilliant support from her GP and BEAT.

Hope you don't mind me joining. I've been watching this thread with interest. Flighty Mare- it's great to read that you have had such success with giving up dieting. I've read practically every intuitive eating book I could get my hands on in the last 5 years. I struggle to stick to it though and try to turn it into the 'hunger/fullness diet' which inevitably fails. I have recently been reading posts on the blog 'the f it diet' (I also love Isabel Foxen Dukes website- both are worth a read) which have suggested that one of the reasons I still binge (not huge binges but definitely eating when not at all hungry) is that I'm still mentally restricting and feeling guilty about what I have eaten, and also that tying to pursue weight loss is keeping me stuck in the cycle of eating when not hungry. I haven't been on a proper diet in years and never will again but still don't feel that I have cracked it. It's great to hear from other people in similar situations.

Thanks whatwould. I've ordered the book. I started reading through the Eat Like a Normal Person website and the penny has started to drop. I agree it's a long term thing, I've got at least another 50 years on this Earth so may as well spend a year trying to overcome this. I've wasted 15 years abusing my body already.

@springsnake I've been mostly vegan for 3 years but I admit I have not always managed to stop myself from eating dairy cheese. I was trapped in a bit of a cycle for a while but now it just seems like I binge eat anything I can get my hands on.

That said, last night we went out for a meal. I had a salad for started, a potato dish for main & a dark chocolate based dessert. Normally when we eat in restaurants I 'panic' order more than I need as I get scared I won't be full after the meal (as though I don't have food at home), but last night I felt very pleased and proud, I didn't overeat and thoroughly enjoyed the meal...if only I was like that every day!

Well done Lp17 that's brilliant...I've found it hard to eat in restaurants I'm so fussy about making sure it's vegan ,I've often sat with a drink and not eaten.at the minute every meal is a sandwich and walkers French fries,with carrot sticks.im like this,for months I eat the same thing at lunch and dinner ,then change for something else.on the plus side I'm eating Avacodo in the sandwich,,which I would never of done in the past