Weight loss by being kind to ourselves? *title edited by MNHQ*

[millifiori]

Holidays over. I have had my body weight in ice-creams, chips, pasties, burgers etc and though we walked about 5-10 miles most days, I'm heaviest ever.

I know I am useless at diets - they make me dizzy and weak and grumpy.

Does anyone fancy trying to lose weight with a shift of mindset? Doing loads of treat-like things that aren't food based. Eating really healthy foods we also happen to love, Being nice to ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally and socially etc. Taking exercise because it's good self care etc?

If anyone wants to try this, join in here for chat.

Today I walked back from shops with (superfit and skinny) DS1. 3 miles. This afternoon, I'm going for a walk with DS2. Going to have some salad for lunch now because I like salad, not because it's rabbit food.

Anyone else?

I think you're onto something milli. In the Riley talk she says that you need to give yourself permission to eat what you want - if that is what you really want on reflection . When you've truly done that you no longer have to eat a whole packet of biscuits to prove to yourself that you can eat what you want. It's about feeling genuine control rather than faking " self control". Riley suggests that we psychologically struggle with the loss of autonomy involved in following a diet or someone else's rules. The psychology of being deprived kicks in long before the physiology of being starved. Once we believe we can eat anything if we really want to, we don't have to eat everything to prove our autonomy to ourselves. She also touches on the 'naughty' and punitive language of breaking a diet. The failure that this thread is combatting. She puts it better than I have done of course.

For me it's about being more conscious, mindful I guess, of why and what I'm choosing to eat. Finding time for that is a challenge if I'm honest a lot of the time. But my health and happiness is worth that time!

Gym that's so interesting. It's odd. Tonight the rest of the family had ice cream and I didn't want it. No self denial, just didn't want it. And I only ate half the food and felt completely full. I think it's to do with autonomy as you say, along with finding other ways to comfort or reward ourselves or be nice to ourselves.

Hi everyone. This sounds like the thread for me, though I often join threads then don't stick at them.

I am 5 foot 4, always big as a teenager, then about 13 years ago went down to about 10 stone. Kept it off for more than ten years - and now here I am at 12 stone ish again I have put on over the last two years - yo-yoed a bit too.

I think I am back in the zone now. I have begun running again after a few months off with injury/laziness. And eating more healthily than I have done for a while.

I have literally just weight myself and I am 12 stone exactly. Was 11.-3 yesterday

Hi Wewent and welcome.

Come and join us for as long as you like or can. Great that you're running again. Weight fluctuates. I'm trying not to get too obsessive about it. It's more about how we feel inside and out and how we look.

Just done a joe wicks hiit workout which was dull so instead I've now got music on and dancing round my kitchen!

For this week's challenge, I've been cherishing the parts of my body that I'm not so fond of / don't meet beauty standards - and it's been bonkers but great fun. Sitting in bed, massaging my thighs and telling them how wonderful they are, how strong they are, and how peachy soft and firm they are...!

Two pounds down this morning, really pleased cause was struggling a bit yesterday. Still quite a way to go but I like to think that I'm getting there. Now need to focus on getting the next half stone off which I thik is going to be harder but trying to adopt a positive mental attitude.

Are you being kind to yourself, though, Octopus? You seem to be doing a lot of pushing yourself and not much kindness?

Yay, Travelling so glad you're having fun with that. I've been doing stomach exercises and massages. But I love your idea of chatting away to your unloved body part! I'm going to give that a go. It's really cheered me up, the thought of you in happy conversation with your legs!

Octopus - 2lb down? Brilliant.

OK in that case we insist that you celebrate this achievement with a lovely treat for yourself. What's it going to be - new nail varnish? Warm socks or gloves? A new autumn scarf? A face mask? A download of your all-time favourite feelgood film?

Come and tell us what you chose to get or do.

I knew s friend was having a tough time at work and suggested we go out for a drink this evening - and she told me that what she'd really like to do to relax was try out a new yoga class in my company. So instead of wine, we had a workout, and we both felt much more relaxed by the end. I wanted to share it with people as a great example of replacing a food/drink-based treat with an alternative that's both relaxing and healthy.

Hope everyone's flourishing and being kind, and that I'm not the only one praising my thighs!

Sorry-Fallen off the thread recently. Had some family angst and comforted myself by lots of sweet stuff. So now I'm heavier than ever and feeling really cross with myself. I am determined to start properly tomorrow weigh in and start putting myself first for a change. Really enjoyed hearing how well everyone is doing and desperately want to join you.

Thanks for your messages and well done to everyone else. I should do something kind for myself, unfortunately time and money are really short at the moment, but in between doing everything, will try and watch something nice on TV or read or something. Might just have to start need with being kind to my bottom lol

Our yoga class was free / contribution based - there might be something similar near you if you look round?

Hi guys,
Wondering if I can join in. Fallen out of love with my body (if I ever loved it in the first place.) I was a very slim teenager and never really got out of the mind set of not eating whatever I fancied. Now I'm 25, still eat all the cheese and have never really found an exercise I got on with, I feel kind of daft doing everything. Would love to feel fitter and better about myself.

I'm 5 foot 3, just under 9 stone, and have absolutely no muscle.

Hi there. I'd like to join too if I may. I'm in my early 50s, 5ft,1.5ins and currently weigh 155.4lbs ( 11 stone 1.4lbs). I just seem to keep cycling round an 8 lb gain and loss. Lowest at 154lb. I know I can lose if I don't go on huge sugar binges, but have no control at events (birthdays, evenings out, anywhere there is cake) I have my Mum's 80th coming up, then my own birthday, then it will be coming up to Christmas. No idea what else to do but like the idea of self care. Currently getting back to doing a little bit at the gym after a 3 month break.

I bought some lovely chevron black and white tights from a shop in Kings Road for just £5, thought they were going to cost a lot more. Felt like a nice treat.

Hi MissMoz and arti and welcome to you both. Stick around, do some of the treat challenges and post your weight once a week. Most people do it either at the weekend or on Mondays.

I haven't lost any weight yet but I am feeling a bit better. I love this week's challenge. Instead of thinking of my tummy as huge and flabby, I am being kind to it, moisturising it and I even gave it a little spray of perfume one day! I am using words like "soft" to describe it and remembering that rheee DC grew in there.

Hoping the kindness will translate into less comfort eating in the end!

You ladies have inspired me. I too am in a 10lb loss cycle, getting heavier each time. I have 5st to lose really.

I've started today by charging my Fitbit, drinking water, restarted my skincare routine and ordered a facial oil. Also eating what I want but it has to have some nutritional value. Managed to get fruit or veg into each meal. Small steps

That's great, Bazzinga! It's not about weight loss, it's about choosing nicer, healthier habits to replace the habits that we don't really like any more.
I'm continuing to praise my beautiful, luscious, strong thighs, and looking forward to the next set of happy challenges.

Mizzmozz - is there an activity that you think you might like to try? Something quite random, maybe, like rock-climbing or riding or walking or dancing or paddle-boarding or kayaking or open-water swimming or Zumba or Pilates or yoga...
why not spend some time trying out different activities and see what appeals?

What a lovely thread. I really like your mentality OP.

I love what's happening on this thread. (Steala's perfumed tummy! Yay!)

Hi Bazzinga. That sounds great. The plan is definitely to just look after and nurture our bodies and our selves so we don't turn to unhealthy or excessive food for comfort. No dieting here. Just focus on health and care.

I've just been on a three day business trip where the food was laid on for us and there wasn't a veg in sight - but lots of cakes and biscuits. I'm craving salads and long walks in the autumn sunshine so that's what I'll have all weekend.

Hi Oblomov - come and join us, whatever your size.