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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Why don't people looking to loose weight just ask?

302 replies

Demant0 · 11/05/2017 12:25

This may upset people, but here goes...

I often find myself in conversations with my friends about their latest diets or weight loss aspirations but would never instigate a weight based conversation because - as a slim person - I don't think it'd be appropriate (don't want to seem like a know it all).

Yet lately I'm feeling quite proud that I've lost 8lb in the last few months taking me to 8 stone 4lb. I feel very slim and healthy for loosing this weight and many people have notice and commented. (It can get a bit derogatory however, 'skinny', 'getting too thin', 'scrawny' etc, but there you go. I don't care.)

Because of the fact I have made some changes that has led to this weight loss, I am always keen to join in a conversation with my friends because it hasn't just fallen off me. I've taken a few measures to do it that have worked.

The thing is no one EVER wants to know how I loose and maintain my weight and never asks me what I eat, how I live, how I exercise etc. It's always really one sided.

It's like my friends and colleagues think I have no idea about weight loss or calorie counting or whatever because I'm thin. It doesn't make sense - I'm the one who DOES bloody know, obviously!

I think if I struggled to loose weight I would find someone slim and then shadow them and practically adopt their lifestyle. Surely that's got to be more effective than WW that clearly doesn't work very well - for long term anyway.

For example. I've just been talking to my male colleague at work who is morbidly obese - dangerously overweight at about 22 stones with a huge stomach - and I sat there for ten minutes with him telling me about the best way to loose weight and that his wife (also overweight) is doing this and that and this is obviously the way to do it etc. Not once did he ask, 'hey you seem to know what you're doing. What can you suggest?'

This is after being out with friends last night and listening to a lady telling about the delicious food you can have at WW and how great it all is that you can eat sugar etc, but that she put 8lb back on because of Easter and has since lost half a stone again and ain't that bad because now she's going to have to pay again because she can't get to her target weight. She's one of many - I wish I had shares in WW.

When I voiced a couple of concerns that I have about the WW approach to loosing weight, I was emphatically told that I was wrong, implying I can't possibly have the faintest idea what I'm talking about WTF??

So why is it, that as a slim person, no one EVER wants to know my take on weight loss? Why is it they'd rather spend money and time listening to either other overweight people, or experts who want their money?

Is it because the assumption is I am 'just lucky' or 'have a good metabolism'? Or do they just not want to know what it really takes to be thin because they think the truth would be too challenging?

This has been going on for so many years now that I'm genuinely getting very curious.

OP posts:
BeyondStrongAndStable · 11/05/2017 13:28

^ what semi said

hazeyjane · 11/05/2017 13:28

This may upset people, but here goes...

I am so glad you started your post with that, it is usually a sign that arseholery is going to follow, so it saved me the trouble of reading it.

ifeelcraptonight · 11/05/2017 13:28

You're a heavyweight goady fucker, to be fair.

Stormtreader · 11/05/2017 13:28

The fact that you think it is so little is exactly why no-one is seeking out your "advice". Must have been a bit of a shock to you, I imagine.

user1474371557 · 11/05/2017 13:29

I find your post so smug. I am so glad you are slim and still lost weight. I would love to know how you think I could lose weight (but more importantly why I should); I have breast cancer that could be terminal, I have RSDS and IBS and just to cap it off my migraine are back with a vengeance. The GP suggested I go to WW for some and I quote "support and guidance" in weight loss.

So, as your original post was so smug, how do you suggest I gain some weight loss.

A word to the wise - people have issues with their weight and size (on all sides of the side spectrum) so commenting in such a smug manner is not a good idea and perhaps if you weren't so smug they might actually talk to you about their weight issues.

Ratatatouille · 11/05/2017 13:29

It must be so hard getting so offended by so little.

Oh so you're just a goady fucked then. How dull.

Ratatatouille · 11/05/2017 13:30

*fucker!

MiaowTheCat · 11/05/2017 13:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RinonaWyder · 11/05/2017 13:30

**It must be so hard getting so offended by so little
Says the woman offended at not being asked for advice

OrianaBanana · 11/05/2017 13:31

The thing is Bank they are talking to me about it. I'd never instigate a weight related conversation but if someone instigates one to me I don't think it's too selfish to expect that I can also be an active participant in that conversation.

Well why can't you just reply? Confused

LauderSyme · 11/05/2017 13:31

OP you've been asked quite a number of times now to share your weight loss advice.
Why don't you just tell?

LesLiaisonsDangereuses · 11/05/2017 13:31

OP
Most people know that to lose weight they need to reduce their calories and / or increase their physical activities to expend more energy.

Most people failing to lose weight struggle to do so for myriad reasons but not because they don't know or understand the principle.

zzzzz · 11/05/2017 13:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FairNotFair · 11/05/2017 13:33

Lots of judging going on about why I am slim

Why don't people looking to loose weight just ask?
SoleBizzz · 11/05/2017 13:33

Nope you don't get it.

BeyondStrongAndStable · 11/05/2017 13:34

Wild guess - op doesn't have a weight loss panacea and is just being a goady fucker. Or alternately is just a whiney whingebag because fat people don't want to talk to a skinny person about their struggle with weight and it hurts her feewings

Justmuddlingalong · 11/05/2017 13:34

I've messaged the Daily Fail. They're holding the front page. Over to you OP.

FairNotFair · 11/05/2017 13:34

So what DO you want to tell people to help them lose weight?

To be fair, zzzzz, the OP doesn't want to help people lose weight.
She wants to help them loose weight.

EezerGoode · 11/05/2017 13:34

I'm askiñg..I need advice.pls tell me how you do it

MissisQuigley · 11/05/2017 13:35

It took you a few months to lose 8lbs?

No wonder they're not asking you.

HairsprayBabe · 11/05/2017 13:35

I have just lost 4st, have about 8lbs left to go but starting to struggle, how did you do it OP? and how do you maintain?

Also, you aren't "mumsnet thin" yet OP IIRC that is 8st dead and not a lb more Grin

Stormtreader · 11/05/2017 13:35

I think the OP is probably a huge heifer in real life, living out a dream of being a skinny b*tch :D

PortableVirgin · 11/05/2017 13:35

Has this all been about aloe vera? Aaargh. Or whatever's replaced aloe vera as the latest MLM du jour.

BeyondStrongAndStable · 11/05/2017 13:35

One assumes that "loose weight" can just be taken off, like a costume Grin

AShowerOfBastardsTed · 11/05/2017 13:36

MissisQuigley;Grin