Why don't people looking to loose weight just ask?

[Demant0]

This may upset people, but here goes...

I often find myself in conversations with my friends about their latest diets or weight loss aspirations but would never instigate a weight based conversation because - as a slim person - I don't think it'd be appropriate (don't want to seem like a know it all).

Yet lately I'm feeling quite proud that I've lost 8lb in the last few months taking me to 8 stone 4lb. I feel very slim and healthy for loosing this weight and many people have notice and commented. (It can get a bit derogatory however, 'skinny', 'getting too thin', 'scrawny' etc, but there you go. I don't care.)

Because of the fact I have made some changes that has led to this weight loss, I am always keen to join in a conversation with my friends because it hasn't just fallen off me. I've taken a few measures to do it that have worked.

The thing is no one EVER wants to know how I loose and maintain my weight and never asks me what I eat, how I live, how I exercise etc. It's always really one sided.

It's like my friends and colleagues think I have no idea about weight loss or calorie counting or whatever because I'm thin. It doesn't make sense - I'm the one who DOES bloody know, obviously!

I think if I struggled to loose weight I would find someone slim and then shadow them and practically adopt their lifestyle. Surely that's got to be more effective than WW that clearly doesn't work very well - for long term anyway.

For example. I've just been talking to my male colleague at work who is morbidly obese - dangerously overweight at about 22 stones with a huge stomach - and I sat there for ten minutes with him telling me about the best way to loose weight and that his wife (also overweight) is doing this and that and this is obviously the way to do it etc. Not once did he ask, 'hey you seem to know what you're doing. What can you suggest?'

This is after being out with friends last night and listening to a lady telling about the delicious food you can have at WW and how great it all is that you can eat sugar etc, but that she put 8lb back on because of Easter and has since lost half a stone again and ain't that bad because now she's going to have to pay again because she can't get to her target weight. She's one of many - I wish I had shares in WW.

When I voiced a couple of concerns that I have about the WW approach to loosing weight, I was emphatically told that I was wrong, implying I can't possibly have the faintest idea what I'm talking about WTF??

So why is it, that as a slim person, no one EVER wants to know my take on weight loss? Why is it they'd rather spend money and time listening to either other overweight people, or experts who want their money?

Is it because the assumption is I am 'just lucky' or 'have a good metabolism'? Or do they just not want to know what it really takes to be thin because they think the truth would be too challenging?

This has been going on for so many years now that I'm genuinely getting very curious.

Placemarking

Agh!!
If you lose weight your trousers will be loose.

(only slightly joking)

With all due respect

I have two stone at least to lose

The idea of being really good until the weight is gone and then making life style changes indefinitely is really daunting

If i only had half a stone to lose that would, to me, be a piece of piss

And yes i am well aware that i could break it down into half stone chunks but

A) i am unable to trick my brain in this way

B) the first half stone will only take a few weeks, thats maintainable. The last couple of stone will be much slower and disheartening .

And again personally i think that someone who is half a stone heavy has probably just lost their way slightly, or has had an awesome holiday and will find it quite straightforward to rein it in a bit

Personally i would rather hear from someone who has lost a similar amount of weight

Yeah why can't alcoholics just listen to me? I could offer them advice. I gave up alcohol easily, I used to drink a few glasses of wine every week. Now I'm teetotal. They're so blind.

But yeah

Post your tips

There might be something in there of interest to some posters

I don't think it's too selfish to expect that I can also be an active participant in that conversation.

So, it's got nothing to do with weightloss, you just think it's unfair that as an 'authority', you're being sidelined within the conversation by a seeker after knowledge who doesn't realise you are a diet guru? The conversational equivalent of 'don't you know who I am?'

Maybe start going to work in a bikini and striking those female bodybuilder poses by the photocopier? Or, a la Take a Break magazine, bring your giant old pre-diet trousers to work with you, and stand around posing while wearing them, pulling them out to show the acres of loose fabric....

I suspect this thread is going to fill my afternoon!

Yeah. Post your tips. I mean. It's not as if I HAVE to take the steroids ...

I don't want to loose weight TBH. I could do with losing some though.

I went away with some friends. I was eating exactly what they were eating and doing the same exercise. By the third day I started having less than them saying I was going to put on weight at this rate. They were surprised and said they were just eating what they ate at home. I was really taken aback, but I think they were too. I spent the rest of the week eating less than them.

It's obvious what OP's advice is. It's

"I wouldn't start from there if I was you."

I'm off to write the IWSFTIIWY™ weight loss system.

I understand how frustrated you must be. A lot of people just don't care what anyone has to bring, they only want to talk about themselves, their experiences/opinions, regardless of the subject or the level of knowledge you might have.

If you aren't able to get a word in, or if they glaze over or dismiss your input in any conversation, then sod them.

And it is perfectly reasonable to make a spelling mistake.

Lots of judging going on about why I am slim. If you knew the women in my family you'd know that I do not have super genes. Not one of us Demant's on either side of the family can just relax. I put weight on like anyone else.

And, again, I am not talking about medical conditions. Why would you go to WW if you had a medical condition? I'm talking about normal people who are looking to lose (spelling!) weight. Some people on here are getting a bit too defensive and jumping to conclusions. But I get it, it's an emotive subject.

Also I've never suggested I'm an expert.

I've struggled with bulimia and binges my whole life. I didn't get a diagnosis or any help until I was 20 and now, seven years later, I struggle literally on an hour-by-hour basis not to binge. My weight yoyos by up to three stone at a time, I look like a burst balloon, my mental health is shot and I have such anxiety/elation/depression/obsession around food that I can barely function.

But please, tell me how I should eat yoghurt for breakfast, soup for lunch and lean protein with veg for dinner. Hearing some fucking common sense out of your mouth will surely end all of my problems!

(because I can't have just one)

Lots of people who go to WW have a medical condition that means exercise is hard or impossible

OP please give your tips.

Come on people we know how the OP did it.

SHE ATE LESS CALORIES THAN HER BODY NEEDED.

Now she can go off and write a book on it.

I really hope I don't know you in real life..

what advice would you give them OP, if they would listen?

Christ I nearly choked on me walnut whip. I can shit 8lb on a good day.

🍿

WHATS THE ANSWER THEN

Are you Katie hopkins?

Also I've never suggested I'm an expert.

OP, with respect, that's exactly what you've suggested, repeatedly:

It doesn't make sense - I'm the one who DOES bloody know, obviously!

I think if I struggled to loose weight I would find someone slim and then shadow them and practically adopt their lifestyle. Surely that's got to be more effective than WW that clearly doesn't work very well - for long term anyway.

Not once did he ask, 'hey you seem to know what you're doing. What can you suggest?'

I think that a lot of the time people whinging on about their weight don't actually want your feedback, they don't want suggestions and they don't want to know how you did it. They just want to bore on and on about every bit of food that has or hasn't passed their lips and how many steps they've done today.

I'm guilty of this myself at 3 stone overweight. I recognise it's boring for listeners, but I don't want suggestions of cutting out carbs or similar because I won't do it. I do try not to talk about food or dieting for that reason! I'm not willing to take your advice so I won't ask for it. Also some of my much smaller friends are also trying to lose some weight and there very much is a mindset that it's easier for them because they're not visibly overweight. Obviously the wrong attitude to have but I reckon a lot of people might think that way...you don't understand because you're not as fat as me sort of mindset

They're not asking you because most people know what they need to do to lose weight. They just struggle with actually doing it.

HTH.