Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Why don't people looking to loose weight just ask?

302 replies

Demant0 · 11/05/2017 12:25

This may upset people, but here goes...

I often find myself in conversations with my friends about their latest diets or weight loss aspirations but would never instigate a weight based conversation because - as a slim person - I don't think it'd be appropriate (don't want to seem like a know it all).

Yet lately I'm feeling quite proud that I've lost 8lb in the last few months taking me to 8 stone 4lb. I feel very slim and healthy for loosing this weight and many people have notice and commented. (It can get a bit derogatory however, 'skinny', 'getting too thin', 'scrawny' etc, but there you go. I don't care.)

Because of the fact I have made some changes that has led to this weight loss, I am always keen to join in a conversation with my friends because it hasn't just fallen off me. I've taken a few measures to do it that have worked.

The thing is no one EVER wants to know how I loose and maintain my weight and never asks me what I eat, how I live, how I exercise etc. It's always really one sided.

It's like my friends and colleagues think I have no idea about weight loss or calorie counting or whatever because I'm thin. It doesn't make sense - I'm the one who DOES bloody know, obviously!

I think if I struggled to loose weight I would find someone slim and then shadow them and practically adopt their lifestyle. Surely that's got to be more effective than WW that clearly doesn't work very well - for long term anyway.

For example. I've just been talking to my male colleague at work who is morbidly obese - dangerously overweight at about 22 stones with a huge stomach - and I sat there for ten minutes with him telling me about the best way to loose weight and that his wife (also overweight) is doing this and that and this is obviously the way to do it etc. Not once did he ask, 'hey you seem to know what you're doing. What can you suggest?'

This is after being out with friends last night and listening to a lady telling about the delicious food you can have at WW and how great it all is that you can eat sugar etc, but that she put 8lb back on because of Easter and has since lost half a stone again and ain't that bad because now she's going to have to pay again because she can't get to her target weight. She's one of many - I wish I had shares in WW.

When I voiced a couple of concerns that I have about the WW approach to loosing weight, I was emphatically told that I was wrong, implying I can't possibly have the faintest idea what I'm talking about WTF??

So why is it, that as a slim person, no one EVER wants to know my take on weight loss? Why is it they'd rather spend money and time listening to either other overweight people, or experts who want their money?

Is it because the assumption is I am 'just lucky' or 'have a good metabolism'? Or do they just not want to know what it really takes to be thin because they think the truth would be too challenging?

This has been going on for so many years now that I'm genuinely getting very curious.

OP posts:
Elphaba99 · 11/05/2017 13:18

In all seriousness OP, why don't you start your own weight loss group? Then you could happily share your knowledge with people who genuinely want to know how you've lost just over 1/2 a stone.

I'm not being snippy, btw. I'm just rather surprised at your disappointment that your friends and colleagues aren't falling over themselves to note down how you stay slim.

Iamdobby63 · 11/05/2017 13:19

The thing is Bank they are talking to me about it. I'd never instigate a weight related conversation but if someone instigates one to me I don't think it's too selfish to expect that I can also be an active participant in that conversation.

You've lost me here.... they talk to you about it but don't give you an opportunity to reply?

user1489675144 · 11/05/2017 13:19

OK so I am assuming you are a genuine person and not a troll.
I need to drop around 3 stone. I have gradually increased since my mid 30's and it keeps going up. I am more careful about what I eat but struggle to eat a really small intake of calories to burn any fat off. I am genuinely interested in what tips you have to help me lose weight.

What should I do OP?

choccyp1g · 11/05/2017 13:19

But seriously OP, I'm asking, how did you do it?

I'm about 10lbs over my ideal weight, and it doesn't seem worth doing a proper diet, so I end up skipping the odd meal, then filling up with crap, and staying more or less the same.

If there is a straightforward (easy) way to lose a stone or so, let's hear it.

BeyondStrongAndStable · 11/05/2017 13:20

"I'm not talking about medical conditions"

Which ones specifically aren't you talking about? Physical things or mental? What with a large chunk of overweight people having some reason why they got that way.

They didn't just think it would be shit and giggles to eat their way up to a BMI of 30>

Jjou · 11/05/2017 13:20

It's a fairly badly-worded OP but not an unreasonable observation.
However it's easier to just never talk about weights and dieting, not least because it's boring. It's one you can never win OP, move on. Change the subject: isn't the weather lovely today?!

AtlantaGinandTonic · 11/05/2017 13:20

PortableVirgin
It would be like someone who is attempting to climb Everest asking someone who walks the dog for fifteen minutes around the park for advice.

This.

chewbaccathehooker · 11/05/2017 13:21

you lose weight, you don't loose it

Iwantaniceholiday · 11/05/2017 13:21

If you lose weight your clothes will become loose. Use that to differentiate between 'lose' and 'loose' OP.

Lose a game
Lose weight
I have loose change.

SemiNormal · 11/05/2017 13:21

When someone gets to a point of morbid obesity it's not usually a case of cutting out snacks, taking the stairs and cutting out sugar. There are often deeper issues, addiction to sugar, mental health problems, physical health problems etc. What works for you would probably not work for someone else and for you to assume that you know what is best for people is smug and condescending - and that's me being kind.

FairNotFair · 11/05/2017 13:22

So why is it, that as a slim person, no one EVER wants to know my take on weight loss?

Maybe they're frightened that you're going to tell them about the amazing properties of aloe vera or something.

MrsJoyOdell · 11/05/2017 13:22

What a total twat. No wonder no fucker likes you.

amusedbush · 11/05/2017 13:23

Maybe they're frightened that you're going to tell them about the amazing properties of aloe vera or something.

For the first time ever, I actually choked on my drink while reading something on MN.

It finally happened. I am a Real Mumsnetter now Grin

WishfulThanking · 11/05/2017 13:23

The grammar and spelling correctors are so tedious. It has been done several times on this thread and she acknowledged she spelled it wrong. Jeez Hmm

AliceByTheMoon · 11/05/2017 13:24

I'd love some tips, tbh.

I am 3 stone overweight and like someone up thread I dieted my way to this weight. Dieting just exacerbated the emotional issues I have around food and I developed bulimia.

Now I am hoping to lose weight by eating 3 square meals a day, loads of fruit and veg, exercising and not drinking anything with calories in it. (I am also a recovering alcoholic, so that last bit is of utter neccessity... the alcoholism is definitely linked to my mental health issues too.)

I 'know' how to lose weight. I am a vaguely intelligent person after all, but it's the emotional stuff that gets in the way for me.

IrenetheQuaint · 11/05/2017 13:24

OP - there's a reason there are separate threads on this board for people who are a healthy weight and just want to lose half a stone or so, and for those who are seriously obese with complex issues of one sort or another. Have some empathy, eh?

lookatmenow · 11/05/2017 13:24

I have lovely slim friends and i know exactly why they are slim compared to me. I overeat, they don't. I like treats - DAILY, they like treats - WEEKLY

I don't need them to tell me how to shift a couple of pounds or even maintain a certain weight - IM NOT AT THAT STAGE YET

What i do need to speak about is how to control the urge to eat crap and load my plate to mamouth levels and i need to speak with someone who understands the difference to doing that regularly over someone who may indulge over christmas that back to their normal eating habits in the new year to get rid of their excess half a stone.

If you haad gone on the journey over being a lot overweight and then gone to 8st and maintained for numerous years, then yes, they would probably ask how you did it and how you keep on doing it. If not, you've never walked in their shoes so no experience of their struggles - sorry :)

Demant0 · 11/05/2017 13:24

I'm sorry many of you think I'm such a bad person for asking quite an innocuous question (in the grand scheme of things).

It must be so hard getting so offended by so little.

OP posts:
user1489675144 · 11/05/2017 13:25

Well OP you complain no one asks you how you managed to lose weight and then a number of us ask you how you lost your weight and you don't share how with us.

Are you a troll?

PlinkyTheFairyWitch · 11/05/2017 13:25

Yeah, fat people just fucking love sitting at the feet of slim people, gazing up in complete adoration and begging for low-fat tidbits of glowing wisdom.

Some of them might even polish your halo for you, OP, I'm sure that would burn a few calories, too, right?

MardAsSnails · 11/05/2017 13:25

People don't ask my opinion either.

I'm fat.

Doesn't mean I don't know how to loose lose weight. I just choose not to do it.

I know a lot about eating healthily, exercise, being generally good and healthy. But I fucking love wine and cheese. And lazing around on my fat arse doing nothing.

user1489675144 · 11/05/2017 13:26

Why don't you tell us how you lost it then? You did actually complain that no-one asks you because you are slim. I am glad you are slim and I would love to be slim again too and would love to know what you did. It may or may not be different to what I have tried already.

SemiNormal · 11/05/2017 13:26

It must be so hard getting so offended by so little - I'm not offended in the slightest. I just think you're smug, condescending, wrong and don't want to admit it. Also, you've moaned that know one has asked for your knowledge yet people here have asked and you won't reply. So go on, share with us how you would help someone who is 35 stone lose weight oh wise one.

mustiwearabra · 11/05/2017 13:27

OP you keep coming back but minus the actual tips.

Nacknick · 11/05/2017 13:27

Oh come on, why are you avoiding the question?

At least 10 PPs have asked you to share your advice and you've just ignored all of them.

Bloody charming if you ask me.