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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Why don't people looking to loose weight just ask?

302 replies

Demant0 · 11/05/2017 12:25

This may upset people, but here goes...

I often find myself in conversations with my friends about their latest diets or weight loss aspirations but would never instigate a weight based conversation because - as a slim person - I don't think it'd be appropriate (don't want to seem like a know it all).

Yet lately I'm feeling quite proud that I've lost 8lb in the last few months taking me to 8 stone 4lb. I feel very slim and healthy for loosing this weight and many people have notice and commented. (It can get a bit derogatory however, 'skinny', 'getting too thin', 'scrawny' etc, but there you go. I don't care.)

Because of the fact I have made some changes that has led to this weight loss, I am always keen to join in a conversation with my friends because it hasn't just fallen off me. I've taken a few measures to do it that have worked.

The thing is no one EVER wants to know how I loose and maintain my weight and never asks me what I eat, how I live, how I exercise etc. It's always really one sided.

It's like my friends and colleagues think I have no idea about weight loss or calorie counting or whatever because I'm thin. It doesn't make sense - I'm the one who DOES bloody know, obviously!

I think if I struggled to loose weight I would find someone slim and then shadow them and practically adopt their lifestyle. Surely that's got to be more effective than WW that clearly doesn't work very well - for long term anyway.

For example. I've just been talking to my male colleague at work who is morbidly obese - dangerously overweight at about 22 stones with a huge stomach - and I sat there for ten minutes with him telling me about the best way to loose weight and that his wife (also overweight) is doing this and that and this is obviously the way to do it etc. Not once did he ask, 'hey you seem to know what you're doing. What can you suggest?'

This is after being out with friends last night and listening to a lady telling about the delicious food you can have at WW and how great it all is that you can eat sugar etc, but that she put 8lb back on because of Easter and has since lost half a stone again and ain't that bad because now she's going to have to pay again because she can't get to her target weight. She's one of many - I wish I had shares in WW.

When I voiced a couple of concerns that I have about the WW approach to loosing weight, I was emphatically told that I was wrong, implying I can't possibly have the faintest idea what I'm talking about WTF??

So why is it, that as a slim person, no one EVER wants to know my take on weight loss? Why is it they'd rather spend money and time listening to either other overweight people, or experts who want their money?

Is it because the assumption is I am 'just lucky' or 'have a good metabolism'? Or do they just not want to know what it really takes to be thin because they think the truth would be too challenging?

This has been going on for so many years now that I'm genuinely getting very curious.

OP posts:
FannyFungus · 11/05/2017 17:36

I'm confused Confused

You say:

I'm not saying I do have the knowledge

Then you say:

I'm the one who DOES bloody know, obviously!

Also:

It's just an opinion, just my take

What is your opinion or your take then?

PurpleDaisies · 11/05/2017 17:38

I'm just judging them on their inability to enquire.

Maybe they are asking actual professionals or already have a plan.
There's no one right way to lose weight. I've seen slimming world and weight watchers work wonders for friends and family.

ShotsFired · 11/05/2017 17:41

@Demant0 I'm not judging people on their inability to lose weight. I'm just judging them on their inability to enquire

Huh? What makes you think people are "unable" to ask you?

They probably just don't want to!

Like it or not, you are coming across as a know it all on here, so maybe that is true in real life too - add that to all the stuff about you not really knowing what you are on about with your 8lbs vs 8stone type people.

heateallthebuns · 11/05/2017 17:41

Ww goes further than most advice to address the emotional and mental side of weight loss as it also acts as a support group.

PlinkyTheFairyWitch · 11/05/2017 17:42

Also: I'm just judging them on their inability to enquire.

How do you know they haven't 'enquired' from all manner of sources? Fat people tend not to want to be and therefore will look for all kinds of solutions.

I think you're just dying to slimsplain.

rogermelliemanontelly · 11/05/2017 17:42

The WW founder lost 62 pounds and kept it off for over 50 years. She died at 91.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.webcitation.org/6Y9yirUfD?url=www.nytimes.com/2015/04/30/business/jean-nidetch-dies-at-91-co-founder-of-weight-watchers-and-dynamic-speaker.html?_r=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.webcitation.org/6Y9yirUfD?url=www.nytimes.com/2015/04/30/business/jean-nidetch-dies-at-91-co-founder-of-weight-watchers-and-dynamic-speaker.html?_r=1

If you think you've got something new for the world of dieting, let's hear it or start your own company.

heateallthebuns · 11/05/2017 17:42

Slimsplain Grin

toffeeboffin · 11/05/2017 17:44

Has the OP actually told the secret to weight loss or not on this thread?

Don't have time to RTFT, have to get to the chippy

rogermelliemanontelly · 11/05/2017 17:44

I don't know why people don't ask you, but as you are saying you don't have the answers, I guess there wouldn't be much point in them asking?

rogermelliemanontelly · 11/05/2017 17:47

I'm questioning the irony that someone with a specific health related goal isn't interested in the viewpoint and methods of a person who has achieved that goal successfully

Are the people you are referring to looking to lose only 8 pounds then? Because that's what you've achieved.

BeyondStrongAndStable · 11/05/2017 17:48

As I said hours ago and miles upthread, when you say "oh I don't mean people with medical issues" which medical issues are you talking about? Physical problems, hormone issues or mental problems?

If you are not talking about addicts, then your whole point about WW/SW being bad for addicts is nonsense?

FaFoutis · 11/05/2017 17:49

I have been to the shops (for chocolate buttons, fry's chocolate cream, diet coke), come back and there are STILL NO TIPS.

fluffiphlox · 11/05/2017 17:50

Conversations about diet and weight loss are deadly.
BTW you lose weight in order that your clothes are loose. HTH.

rogermelliemanontelly · 11/05/2017 17:50

Oh I LOVE Fry's chocolate cream! It's nice to see a fellow fan.

I suspect there never will be any tips. It's all pie in the sky...MMMM!....PIE!!!

Justmuddlingalong · 11/05/2017 17:52

I know your secret, it's this, isn't it?

Why don't people looking to loose weight just ask?
BeyondStrongAndStable · 11/05/2017 17:52

Btw, I literally have popcorn. Not joking, really really Grin

FaFoutis · 11/05/2017 17:54

Tip one:
Do your mouth like a cat's arse and then you can't get much in; maybe a carrot stick or a twiglet if you push hard enough.

ShoesHaveSouls · 11/05/2017 18:00

I find it concerning that 'Local Mom' is sat on a toilet. Is it $5 worth of laxatives?

Stormtreader · 11/05/2017 18:04

They must be strong, look how hard shes having to hang on there!

ifeelcraptonight · 11/05/2017 18:04

Do you honestly think fat = thick??

You have no idea. I have "enquired" of my GP. AND HE SAID NOT TO WORRY THERE WERE BIGGER ISSUES TO SORT

But to you I'm a thick fat bitch.

Well. I can lose weight but you will always come across as nasty smug and judgemental

Eolian · 11/05/2017 18:07

People talk to you about their weightloss efforts because it's something people like to talk/whinge about. The reason they don't give a monkey's about how you lost the weight is because everyone actually knows how to lose weight. It's sticking to it that's the problem.

rogermelliemanontelly · 11/05/2017 18:09

That woman in the photo looks like she's shitting through the eye of a needle.

ifeelcraptonight · 11/05/2017 18:12

You knew this was a crappy judgemental thread to start and you did it anyway.

That is not nice at all.

toffeeboffin · 11/05/2017 18:21

Grin Roger

Topseyt · 11/05/2017 18:26

Beyond, I doubt that popcorn is particularly good when trying to loose weight. Wink

I'll have some too though. Grin