My child is a shit sleeper and it is keeping me fat

[TheOriginalWinkly]

I'm just so tired. She's 1.4yo, still a voracious breastfeeder, and has never slept through the night. I was going to put her to bed then do the 30 day shred, it took an hour and a half and I'm too fucking tired. I want to sit down and eat biscuits. I won't, this time, but I've become hooked on sugar to get through the day. I did lose 22lb of baby weight but have been static at this weight for about 6 months (I lost enough weight to fit into my uniform when I went back to work then stopped.) Logically I know that quitting sugar and eating well will help with the tiredness but yaaaawwwwnnnn...

Mine also doesn't sleep and I am now 2 stone heavier than the week after I gave birth. I feel disgusting but basically eat and drink to keep going.
It's shite.
If you find the answer j will pay big money to share it.

I'm saying this with the best will in the world (and as a bit of a chubby myself) stop looking for excuses or reasons. You eat too much shit you shouldn't. I know when you're tired willpower and reason aren't always as strong as they could be. Don't buy the stuff. Buy other stuff that's
tasty instead. I eat all sirts when breast feeding each of mine and had to stop as I could feel the difference (not weightwise, I was a rake then), it made me woolly headed and tired. I started again when my thyroid started being under active. I had to stop again. It'll be hard for a week or so, but worth it, I promise you.

I eat too much shit I shouldn't. Well there's a revelation

Do the 30 day shred when she's up , you may not do it perfectly but it'll be better than nothing. My DD used to join in with me. There were moments if course when I'd have to jog round the room chasing her instead.
Or put her on the sofa next to you with a tablet and let her get her fill of In the night Garden whilst you do it .

Well there's your reason for being overweight. Not that your child is a poor sleeper.

That's everybodys reason for being overweight though isn't it. And oddly enough when I wasn't struggling to force my eyes open in the morning it was a damn sight easier to chop veg and make soup and go running (not that I can run anymore thanks to lingering SPD leaving me in agony). Do you share your wisdom with all the other weight loss threads?

Well what do you want people to say to you, TheOriginalWinkly?

You've identified the problem - no-one apart from you is contributing to it!

Obviously you're tired. But not everybody blames being overweight on their children's habits. Now you're tired, stop snapping and try to relax.

Well most of the weight loss chat threads are a bit more supportive than this. And PrincessHairy made a helpful suggestion. I thought, dunno, a few people saying 'yeah I've been there, this is what I did' might come along. Not to be told I'm making excuses and it's all my own fault. I fucking KNOW I'm eating shit, I said so in my OP. Cheers for the kind words. Thanks a lot.

Oh and it's well bloody known that sleep deprivation and weight gain are linked.

Weight loss threads are supportive when people take responsibility for their situation and are genuinely looking to change things. Not just because they're moaning about things.

So tackle the sleep. Stop BF, have a break, leave her with dh.
Otherwise carry on and accept you will tackle it at a later date

I completely understand. It is SO hard when youre tired not to just live on biscuits and toast. I have no magic answer for you. It will be so much easier when she's sleeping. And she will, one day!

But I said I'd been there. And what I did. You're tired and seemingly spoiling for an argument. I'm not biting because I've been there, thankfully there was no Internet then, and the husband was usually away, so the only person I took it out on was myself.

I can't leave her with DH because we're shift workers who split childcare. There are no childcare options at 5 am or midnight.

But apparently I'm not allowed to have a little moan and ask for empathy /helpful suggestions, and apparently identifying the one external factor that is different since I was slimmer isn't taking responsibility for myself. Because its so easy to just tackle weight gain without ever considering the reasons behind it.

Sorry, posted too soon - pmt clumsiness and typing on a phone dont mix well. If you feel that bad either do something about it or don't. Your life, your choice.

I really don't want an argument. I really really don't. But your helpful comments were lost after the verbal kicking.

There are reasons and yes tiredness won't help. But if you are shift workers then how does she sleep with your DH? I guess she's not needing to BF then? I would sort the sleep issue however you need.

You could say your life your choice to anyone wanting (needing) to lose weight. I am finding it hard. Very hard. As I said, I managed to shift over a stone and a half but have gotten stuck. Yes it's my fault. I know.

Jesus it's like I'm 14 again and you're my mum!

But I kicked myself as well. Sorry if you took it worse than i meant it. I genuinely do know where you're coming from. The only thing that worked for me was face it and stop stuffing my face. And that's exactly how I thought of it to myself. Being softer just didn't help.

She sleeps shit for DH too. She can self settle, she just is a shit sleeper.

I agree - if I were you I would tackle sleep first (sleep training if you are comfortable with it) then you'll be in a better mental and physical state to find the willpower to tackle the eating crap

I AM a mum.
Come on, look at yourself, would someone patting your hand and saying 'there there'help? I bet not. Knackered or not, only you can do this. You've obviously got some go in you, focus it.

No I mean my own actual mother. Who told me I was stuffing my face (at 14, and I wasn't) and it did me no good whatsoever. Yes someone saying 'there there' would have helped immensely, rather than just reaffirming the nagging suspicion that I am a lazy greedy fat bastard.

Winkly, I empathise. I'm fat although I can't use sleep deprivation as a reason. I just like biscuits. I'm stuck in a bad cycle that is difficult to get out of. I can't get to the gym/swim as I don't have childcare and I try to get for walks but 3 yo dc gets tired legs. Losing weight is extremely difficult although I've found that once it starts coming off it becomes easier. It's the kickstart you need to get to that point that I'm struggling with! How much weight would you like to lose?

About 2 stone ideally pudding.