My child is a shit sleeper and it is keeping me fat

[TheOriginalWinkly]

I'm just so tired. She's 1.4yo, still a voracious breastfeeder, and has never slept through the night. I was going to put her to bed then do the 30 day shred, it took an hour and a half and I'm too fucking tired. I want to sit down and eat biscuits. I won't, this time, but I've become hooked on sugar to get through the day. I did lose 22lb of baby weight but have been static at this weight for about 6 months (I lost enough weight to fit into my uniform when I went back to work then stopped.) Logically I know that quitting sugar and eating well will help with the tiredness but yaaaawwwwnnnn...

Also I would go for a fast walk/ run early when they have woken up with pram. So if they wake at 6am, give them a drink and bundle them into the pram in pjs inside a warm footmuff with extra blankets and a warm hat. They might go back to sleep with pram movement so even though you are awake, maybe they get an he extra sleep so they aren't so grumpy later, and you have fitted in exercise as soon as possible before your tired!

Have you also tried just letting them sleep in your bed so you at least get more sleep?

Loads of great advice here.

Try and walk as much as you can with the pram.

You don't have to have two slices if toast, just have one. Slice toast with peanut butter, hard boiled egg and an apple is a great breakfast.

Count your liquid calories... No lattes, coke, alcopops.

Try reducing pasta and bread, makes a huge difference.

Make soups with veg and lentils, filling and very healthy. You can have two bowls for lunch.

Cottage cheese, chopped fruit, sprinkle of granola.

Dont buy the junk, snack on dates if you fancy a sweet.

Drink water. Drunk water. Drink water.

Good luck op, it's hardbut you can do it!

I'm underweight and always have been. Not going to say I can eat anything and everything without putting anything on, as I'm sure that's not true! But I have always enjoyed healthy food. That's what I grew up around. I think that's key.

I Think Your Absolute Main motivation is that you don't want your children to be as unhappy as you are about your diet and Weight. You want them to instinctively reach for an apple rather than a biscuit, some steamed veg rather than chips. However if all they see if their mother chomping on crap, it is almost inevitable they will follow the same path. You don't want them to regard low patches as a carte blanche to eat shit. If I'm feeling low, I go for a run. If my child is having a tantrum, we head outside. I don't ply then with a biscuit, just as I don't ply myself with them.

Set an example OP. Surely that's a big motivation

Sleep deprivation messes with your mind so take an easy route - low carb and a walk each day.

I used sugar for energy when I had a bad sleeper then switched to low carb, it really helped me - not only for weight loss but clearing my mind a bit.

Underweight isn't healthy either.

I have a rubbish sleeper (please, people telling op to just 'sort the sleep' explain how to do it, my child is 4 now and still rubbish at sleeping, even after sleep clinic ((who basically gave advice and when it didn't work were at a loss )) I would love to know how to sort it)

Anyway I'm still fat so can't really help although I am low carbing now. I know how you feel op, it's just crap, I never imagined being tired could have such an effect on my whole being, I always thought I'd be a lentil weavery, chilled out, zen mother but I mostly just want to drink milky coffee, eat crisps and have a rest .

Hairspray we paid 2 sleep consultants to sort DD's sleep... The final conclusion of both was that 'unfortunately some people just don't sleep'.

Winkly, I really do sympathise with the sleep deprivation. You have done brilliantly to lose 22lbs already! My eldest is over 3.5yrs and is still a shit sleeper. I had DC2 when she was 1.5yrs and for quite a long period between the two of them I was up every hour during the night. I'm still up at least three times a night, and have no memory of what it's like to sleep an eight hour stretch. It sucks, big time.

However, I do think sleep deprivation as a 'reason' for weight gain/failure to lose weight is a bit over estimated. I lost 2.5 stone starting when DC2 was six months old, and I was still up at all hours and knackered. Being tired definitely saps motivation and makes you think 'f* it. If I can't sleep, I'm going to eat cake", but I'm not sure it actually stops your metabolism from burning off calories. It didn't seem to make a difference to me once I totally committed to losing the weight.

Also, did you find your weight loss slowed when your DC went down to only night feeds? I found BF burned loads of calories and when I dropped down to fewer feeds I had to adjust what I was eating (again) to keep losing weight.

My advice based on my own experience is:

• Forget exercise if it's too difficult to fit it in. It's good for your health but in terms of weight loss has a hell of lot less impact than diet. If you can walk instead of driving, take the stairs instead of the lift, fantastic, but forget the rest for now.

• Don't have biscuits, cakes, chocolate etc. in the house. If it's not there, you can't eat it. Research some healthy snacks that you enjoy and have them ready for those moments.

• If you are really hungry between meals, go for protein instead of carbs or sugar. A few cubes of cheese, a hard boiled egg, a bit of cold meat will actually satisfy your hunger without giving you a sugar high/crash.

• If you are starving for your lunch/dinner - eat it! I often had my meals with the kids at 11.30am or 5pm as I was really hungry by then. It stopped me eating snacks to fill the stop gap and especially at dinner time gave me the energy to get through bath time. I'd then have a plain salad or something with DH at 8pm, and a healthy snack in front of the TV later on.

• Plan your calories at the start of the day, so you can have a bit of what you fancy. I still had a takeaway once a week, but planned my day's/week's calories so I could have it without blowing the week's efforts. The My Fitness Pal app on the phone is brill for this.

Hope that helps!

Sleep deprivation is an absolute sod. It messes with your normal bodily rhythms, it induces stress and anxiety, is linked to poor health, it upsets your immune system and cracks any will power you can muster. I would guess that there is a direct corrolation between the number of consecutive hours that a baby sleeps and the weight of its carer and other markers of well being too.

Maybe now is the time to be gentle on yourself? Look to make changes that increase your well being more generally, mindfulness exercises, relaxing, gentle walks with the little one, reading books that make you feel good. Concentrate on eating stuff that you enjoy and that pack a nutritional punch. Try to make your aim to reduce your stress levels rather than lose weight.

I'd go for damage limitation right now with an aim to concentrate on weight loss when the situation improves.

My sympathies, op. Some of the responses have been very harsh and unsupportive. I can't source it now but studies have shown that sleep deprivation is linked to poorer diet and weight gain. I have certainly been there, eating biscuits and cakes to stay awake, plus loads of coffees and toast.
I loved the 30 day shred (need to get back to it actually). It's great for motivation too.
As others have said do it during the day when your little one is awake maybe and watching something else.
Would definitely walk as much as possible too. Just don't have the junk in the house so it is harder to eat, or put it out of sight in a hard to reach place. Drink lots of water. Good luck, it's very hard when you are that sleep deprived. She will get better eventually, although that's probably no consolation now. Good luck!

Biwi and thanks
Thanks - we have asked J24E to leave the building
OP - sympathies - sleep deprivation is crap.
Kindest

Sorry Olivia not really sorry because they are spamming