Officially my heaviest and time to change. Anyone with me?

[DreamingOfADifferentMe]

Hi all,

Well, having just returned from a gorgeous week's holiday, I decided to take the plunge and step onto the scales. Bloody hell.

I'm officially the heaviest I've ever been. I look awful. And I'm desperate to change. I've spent the last few days reading threads on here that I think will inspire me and I'm determined to make a change.

I have a number of milestones to get to, including a holiday in October, but the big one in my head is going to see the GP in a few weeks' time for a repeat prescription for my contraceptive pill. Last year, she made some reference about my weight as they may not have been allowed to prescribe it, given my high BMI. She did, and prescribed me a year's worth, and they're nearly gone. Have I lost weight? Have I heck - I'm actually heavier, and I can't bear the idea of going back and having the same utterly humiliating conversation.

So, I'm just debating the best approach. I know low/no carbs works really well for me, though I can struggle to stick with it, but that's what I'm going for initially.

This morning I weighed in at 15st 11, and I'm just 5ft 4. I'm a size 18. This cannot be who I am. I am not the woman who looks back at me in the mirror.

My mission is to shift, ideally, around 3st initially. I know that I look and feel great at 12st something, and even though I'll be far from a size 10 skinny minnie, I will feel fantastic. Then, when I get to that point, we'll see.

However, when there's such a long road ahead, I know I get easily defeated. So, does anyone fancy a hand to hold along a similar path? I'm happy to give tonnes of support and will cheer folk on, anyone fancy returning the favour?

Out for a walk to get the steps in. Was chatting with a friend and she suggested something really thought provoking. Academically, I've always achieved without effort. Straight A's at GCSE and ALevel, 1st class honours masters degree etc. kind of used to results without necessarily too much effort.

Guess I can't fool my body that easily and this is going to take perseverance and hard work.

That's an interesting point! At the risk of sounding like a twat, I am a bit of a smart cookie too mmm, cookies and although I always did work hard because I am very geeky and like that sort of thing (eg I used to nick my mum's old workbooks to study in my room! :o) it all came very easily to me. So I see what your friend is saying - I'm not used to things being this difficult. It's challenging and it won't come naturally. Hmm. In for the long haul, aren't we! But, we aren't in it alone :)

Monday
• Plain croissant
• 1 square chocolate
• 500ml water
• 2tsp pomegranate seeds
• Chunk of baguette with butter
• Small wedge of brie with grapes
• Red pepper and cucumber
• 10 Wotsits
• 4 chunks fresh coconut
• Salmon fillet with tomato veg sauce, avocado, broccoli and carrot
• Tbsp pasta with a little parmesan
• 500ml water
• 2 chocolate rice cakes
• 250ml water

That is too long a list! I have the mega munchies. I. Need. To. Stop.

(again I'm posting my list now so I have more incentive to shut my cakehole and avoid the kitchen til tomorrow)

Monday

• granola w/ skimmed milk
• tea
• 5 strawberries
• a banana
• brocolli and cauliflower cheesy bake
• chicken jambalaya
• 4 chocolate malted milk biscuits.

Let myself down at the very last minute, but I just needed something otherwise I was so close to going to the pub/restaurant nearby and getting cake away. I also missed the gym and didn't hit my steps or my sleep goals so I'm feeling particularly pathetic today.

Going round to a friends house this morning and I'm going to walk instead of drive there (30 mins each way) and this afternoon I need to go to the post office and I'll walk there too (45 mins each way) then get off my lazy bum and go to the gym tonight.

Quiet here today isn't it Buffalo! Did you make the jambalaya? And if so... how? :o

Had crap food for breakfast and lunch today but haven't snacked at all yet

Not having dinner til later as DH is doing it but I'll stick to a small portion. Although there is baguette left too... hmm

Long walk with the kids over the Bryn today - step count target hit by lunchtime. I then utterly failed to remember my sun cream and have been really burnt. I look like a tomato. It's not a good look.

Food wise not been great today, too much snacky picnic stuff at lunchtime on the beach. We then continued the theme at tea time, but I did log as much as I could remember. Apparently I'm still under my calorie goal... God knows how!

But - no diet coke! I do now have a headache, but assuming this will pass if I can keep it up...

Wow none at all? That's brilliant!

I oddly felt more hungry after dinner than before. Was it the white rice perhaps? High GI or something?

So I got weighed at the GP yesterday, because I am getting a referral to the Active Life thingy at the council leisure centre! She actually reckoned I was under 17st but I'm not getting excited about that as I'll stick with my wii fit weekly measurements. Anyway she saw from my previous records that I've already lost some so that's good, she appreciated that I want a little help now with someone who is trained and will understand the limitations due to my illness.

Tuesday
• Big bowl of cereal
• 250ml water
• 2 KFC mini fillets with fries and gravy
• Medium Pepsi Max
• 500ml water
• White rice with marinated stir fry chicken and veg
• 250ml water

I didn't snack AT ALL yesterday! That has to be the first time possibly EVER that I have not snacked. Granted two out of three meals were shit really but pleased I didn't make it worse by snacking (felt stuffed after the KFC although normally I would've eaten more there).

Had a really stressful morning today, everything seemed to keep going wrong! I was SO tempted to grab something ridiculously calorific on the way home from dropping DCs at the playscheme, especially as I had a 25min wait for the bus, but I kept telling myself I didn't need anything. So I didn't succumb. I am really hungry now (although did have crappy sugary cereal for breakfast so not surprising really) but it's not lunchtime yet so I'm just having some fruit.

I did make the jambalaya Socks, I was just looking for a recipe that would use up some of the stuff left in the fridge and that seemed the tastiest - it was delicious!
It's this slimming world recipe (despite not following slimming world!) www.slimmingworld.com/recipes/speedy-chicken-jambalaya.aspx

I did a lot of walking yesterday and then was soooo close to not going to the gym again last night but I recognised that that is a slippery slope to my usual dormant gym membership so although I was supposed to do a run AND swim I just did the swim, but it felt good just to get there and do something.

Is anyone up to anything nice today? More walking for us, trying to hit that step target, probably a trip to the park and the library.

Ooh thanks, that looks really tasty! Might try that next week. And if the rice takes on a bit of the tomato colour, DS might eat it. He doesn't like white rice, but likes the pink or yellow rice from supermarket takeaway packs

Not up to owt today, not back to work next week so I'm going to get a bit of typing done (kind of freelance work) and enjoy some child free time. But not by stuffing my face as I usually would. I'll try my tai chi DVD again. I should really do some more decluttering but we are spending tomorrow on that with my parents helping too so I'll save my energy.

And well done on still going to the gym! That's great willpower and discipline that I don't think I could have myself :o

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH can't stop munching today! I'm nicking the phrase I saw on another thread - it's a Pacman Day :o

My own fault, wasn't organised enough to get my lunch out the freezer early. FFS

I'm feeling a bit like that today too fuzz, I've grazed all day!! It's bake off night which 1) makes me want to go and buy alllllll the cakes to eat while I'm watching it and 2) makes me really really really want to skip the gym tonight. Gosh this is hard work isn't it?? The diet honeymoon period is certainly over, it's around about now I'd usually pack it all in and order a takeaway dominoes with chocolate brownies to eat during bake off must stay strong!!!

Hello all, sorry for being AWOL.

Went away for the weekend which was amazing - husband excelled himself with a spa hotel and had even booked treatments, so I was in seventh heaven.

Anyway, although I had things that weren't good, I also wasn't bad, but stepping on the scales looks like I've put on almost everything I lost which is really demotivating so I haven't felt able to come on and be positive. I've been really good since, though not strictly low-carb, but haven't dared to get on the scales. I'm determined to stick with it though, but am feeling cruddy which isn't helping.

Sorry all, just feeling super meurgh-like today. Bad head, sore throat and generally fed up. And, like Fuzz and Buffalo, I just want to eat today. And eat. And eat.

Ooh, sounds like a lovely trip Dreaming! Don't worry about gaining the weight back, that's surely likely to happen when away. You CAN stick with this.

Wednesday
• Big bowl of cereal
• 250ml water
• Satsuma
• Two slices 50/50 toast with butter
• Small wedge of brie with grapes
• Big Rocky bar
• Bowl of lentil and veg stew
• 500ml water
• 1 sausage with avocado, peas and carrots
• 5 fizzy Haribo
• 500ml water

I've pulled today slightly back from the brink, as I still had my lunch once it had defrosted (it was in a flimsy freezer bag which had kind of got stuck, so couldn't just microwave it or rip the plastic!) even though it was nearly 3pm, felt stuffed with lentilly goodness afterwards so had a very small dinner and showed un-fuzzpig-like restraint with the DCs' movie night treats. I still want to eat more right now, but I'm full, so I'm reminding myself it's just habit (and the fact I've had some sugar so now I'm craving MOOOOORE) and posting my intake so I can't cheat. Although it will be a challenge as DD is still not asleep and is shouting so it's going to be a late and stressful evening I think

I'm still finding it really hard to drink enough. Need to pee all the damn time!

And hey, don't feel like you need to only be positive on here! If you need to rant then do - it's called a support thread for a reason

I've had a terrible week. Between things out of my control (family meals out, birthday parties etc) where I've not been as in control of my food as I'd have liked - and some complete lack of willpower on the rest of the days, I've managed to put back in a week what it took 2 weeks to lose.

So I've sat down and planned out my week from tomorrow to next Wed. I've accounted for my 'high' and 'low' days, but won't have a high day until next Wed now as today has been a stonker - mostly homemade cheesecake leftovers from the party I made the main one for.

There's a family breakfast out on Friday and I'm looking in advance at the menu to decide how to minimise what I have while still joining in and enjoying it. Remembering to ask for my lattes as skinny will be a start I think. I've planned the rest of the meals for the day too so as not to write the whole thing off just because we had a bad start to the day.

Then it's a bad food-day next Wed as I'm out with a friend taking the children out and there will be lunch out and crepes. I shall save up for it, calorie wise.

Disappointingly, I've definitely noticed I am finding it far, far, far harder to lose weight now I'm a) in my 40s and b) on a particular medication.

Good to see you Dreaming! You've only put it all back on because we're at the beginning of the journey, if it were 6 months further down the line you wouldn't be thinking that you've ruined all your good work, you'd have put back on just a small portion of what you'd lost. You can't be expected to never do anything nice until you've lost all the weight. It sounds a wonderful weekend :)

Today is a new day Charley, I'm still finding it helpful to think of every day as a new diet day rather than sabotaging the next day because one day was not great (like I would have done previously!)

We're running dangerously low on food in the fridge/cupboards again so we need to do the food shop tonight before we stray.

Charley would one 'full fat'/non-skinny latte be more satisfying than two skinny ones?

We are getting low-ish on food too, we are doing this week's shop a couple of days early as DSD is staying for a few days so basically another adult to feed :) trying to take into account what healthy stuff we have in the freezer plus another couple of meals I'd like to try (eg that jambalaya)

Ruined the morning by having a second (smallish) bowl of cereal! But I'm pleasantly full now so hoping I can resist anything else til lunch... not sure I will!

How's everyone's Thursdays going? Mine has been rather crappy, foodwise, but no snacks again - just pigged out on unhealthy meals! Have probably wrecked the whole week! And forgot to drink any water until now

Parents took me and DCs out for lunch while DH took DSD for lunch/chat (AS levels didn't go as expected :() and brought leftovers home for me!

• 2 bowls of cereal
• Breaded chicken with chips, peas, tomato sauce and cheese
• Chocolate cake and ice cream
• Large glass of Coke
• Quarter leftover Nandos chicken
• 250ml water

I've also had very little willpower when doing the Tesco order for tomorrow. We would've left it a few more days but as other DSD is staying we need more meals etc. I ordered a fair bit of rubbish TBH, but it's pretty much all stuff that will last I think, and I'm really, really hoping I can just leave it in the cupboard (or freezer... damn those new Magnum flavours...) and manage to space them out.

Also, random thing I read when flicking through DH's running magazine... apparently it can help to only eat during a 12hr period each day. Say, 8am til 8pm. I dunno, some study where both groups had the same intake but over different time periods. Interestingly I have pretty much ended up doing this since trying to ditch the snacking, I know that eating late at night is supposedly bad as you can't burn it off. Just thought I'd mention it anyhow. :)

No, as long as it's got coffee in it and it's not bitter filter coffee then I'm happy so skinny x3 is going to hit the spot a bit better.

I've had a much better diet day today.

I have not lazed around the house today (on holiday with the children from my teacher job) but instead we got out of the house and did something. Many steps were walked (including up and down stairs and ramps) at Spaceport on the wirral, then over on the ferry to the Liverpool maritime museum and back.

Food and drink was....
ham sandwich on brown (no crusts), apple, 5 chips pinched from the portion my dds were shaing.
1/2 a gammon joint and a few slimming world meatballs ( bought to try - goodness they are salty!) and some jacket potato. Followed by an eat natural cereal bar.

I've just had a bit more jacket potato, sliced and crisped up in the air frier. yummy.

And there was a packet of aniseed sweets and a mocha latte earlier too, but I'm still just about on my 1300 cals for the day, so that's a success as far as I'm concerned.

I'm calorie counting and trying to cut down on my 's's. So no snacking apart from one in the evening when the dd's are in bed. And no seconds. So one serving of something. Otherwise the cals really add up and I don't lose anything.

I can't do the no sugary things, but seem to have managed in the hols with fruit being my sweet afters at lunch and will try and keep that up when back at school and having my lunch in the staff room. No more cereal bars for me in the day. :) That way I will have a few more cals left for the evening meal and a little snack if/when I get hungry again.

I'd love to go for pancakes and bacon with syrup in the morning, but know full well that it's a bad choice, cals wise. I'm going to look at what I can have later to see if I can 'afford' it or choose my usual stand by which is lower, but which I didn't enjoy as much last time. Then I should have a clear run of 'normal' days with only the usual temptations before next Wed when I'm supposed to be out for a meal with a friend.

Dang, that sounds delicious! I'm not sure really, as if you choose the thing you don't really enjoy, is there any point in eating it? If you'll just feel disgruntled and a bit hard done by (or is that just me ) that you didn't have what you actually wanted? Hmm.

I will probably have a Harvester breakfast at some point in the next couple of months, I have no idea how I'd get around that in terms of choices - I bloody love their breakfasts, so much choice!

11st7 ,5ft2 would love to get to 101/2stone am one of the older mums at school gate and feel more than a bit frumpy when I see all the younger mums who always look insanely good ,even on a bad day !!so onwards and upwards roll on monday

Hi Mir what approach are you taking to losing weight? :)

How has everyone been today? I've not eaten an awful lot, but looking forward to a curry (not take-away, but from a jar - didn't have enough home made in the freezer to feed all 3 of us adults).

Made progress when having a snack today. Normally because I get dizzy I will just grab the crackers and whatever and take them to the sofa where I stuff my face with it until I make myself stop. But today I just got 2 crackers and cut a little cheese, and took that in.