Officially my heaviest and time to change. Anyone with me?

[DreamingOfADifferentMe]

Hi all,

Well, having just returned from a gorgeous week's holiday, I decided to take the plunge and step onto the scales. Bloody hell.

I'm officially the heaviest I've ever been. I look awful. And I'm desperate to change. I've spent the last few days reading threads on here that I think will inspire me and I'm determined to make a change.

I have a number of milestones to get to, including a holiday in October, but the big one in my head is going to see the GP in a few weeks' time for a repeat prescription for my contraceptive pill. Last year, she made some reference about my weight as they may not have been allowed to prescribe it, given my high BMI. She did, and prescribed me a year's worth, and they're nearly gone. Have I lost weight? Have I heck - I'm actually heavier, and I can't bear the idea of going back and having the same utterly humiliating conversation.

So, I'm just debating the best approach. I know low/no carbs works really well for me, though I can struggle to stick with it, but that's what I'm going for initially.

This morning I weighed in at 15st 11, and I'm just 5ft 4. I'm a size 18. This cannot be who I am. I am not the woman who looks back at me in the mirror.

My mission is to shift, ideally, around 3st initially. I know that I look and feel great at 12st something, and even though I'll be far from a size 10 skinny minnie, I will feel fantastic. Then, when I get to that point, we'll see.

However, when there's such a long road ahead, I know I get easily defeated. So, does anyone fancy a hand to hold along a similar path? I'm happy to give tonnes of support and will cheer folk on, anyone fancy returning the favour?

Has anyone read Escape the Diet Trap by John Briffa? I have a copy my mum (who is still yo-yo dieting!) lent me ages ago. I'm just finishing a couple of other books at the moment but I'm making that my next read.

Not read that one. I'm just having quite a demoralising start to the day. After a week of being really, really good and walking loads, drinking loads - I simply don't feel any different.

Confession time - I have 4 stone to lose. And seeing it in black and white makes me feel slightly ill. I know it's a marathon not a sprint etc, but I would have thought after a week I might have felt slightly better. My stomach is just ridiculously wobbly and covered in stretch marks.my target when we get home to start the 30 day shred. Which involves buying a new remote for the DVD. Must. Do. This.

fuzzpig- Yes- I have that book and its brilliant (just wish i could put the advice into action!)

Ah honey. In the nicest possible way, of course you won't feel/look different in a week! But I KNOW what you mean, I really do. I keep looking down at my enormous tummy (I have at least 6st to lose really) and thinking GO AWAY DAMMIT! But, it didn't get like that in a week, did it? So it will take a lot longer to get rid of, too. Also, I don't know if you've ever seen examples, but if you lose weight really quickly, you can end up with a lot of horrible loose skin which can often make people just as miserable as when they were obese. Not to mention the fact that losing it quickly by crash dieting is more likely to end in failure and putting it all back on (and more, usually). So I really do think that losing it slowly and sensibly is best. It's bloody frustrating, but it's the long term way. Come on, we can do it. Together. :)

xpost - thanks Emme I'll let you know how I get on. Currently reading a mediocre thriller on my kindle and a non-fiction book about how the internet is damaging our brains (ironic huh?) but I'm aiming to start it in the next couple of weeks.

Hello all, old and new! Just checking in, so much positivity and so many good choices going on - Socks sorry you're not feeling it this morning, sounds like you've been doing so well though I've been wondering about trying 30 day shred too but don't know much about it, will have to investigate.

I've still not gone back to c25k yet as I can still feel twinges in my knee so want to give it another couple of days. I've been walking though, about 2.5 miles yesterday and today I'm going to London for the day so will be walking as much as possible instead of the tube (which will be packed and stuffy and smelly anyway so walking is definitely preferable!).

Feel like I've been really good with food except had a chippy tea yesterday with friends after helping them do some decorating in their new house - had a sausage and a few onion rings but didn't order my own chips and just nicked a few of my friend's. I actually felt pretty stuffed afterwards which I was really happy about as I would have normally been able to eat twice that!

hanky thanks for the tip about the neoprene support things in pound shops, I nipped into poundland yesterday and found them so I'll be trying that out on my next run

Emma, not Emme, sorry!

A lot of mine is due to 3 babies in under 5 years. The youngest is now 2.5yo so I'm out of excuses on that front!

We're off to a steam railway today so am going to struggle to get the steps in but if the weather holds I can walk this evening.

Socks, I know it's not the most supportive of me but I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear (read) you say that you don't feel any different yet, I don't either and it's really getting me down! DP has lost 9lbs since last Tuesday, and you can definitely see it,and he's feeling really good and motivated. I, on the other hand, am still feeling motivated but I really don't feel any different. No more alert from exercising 6 days out of 7, no more lean or hydrated or energetic. Nothing. Just the same as I did 2 weeks ago. Hopefully we will have this conversation again next Saturday morning and we will be saying how we've turned a corner!!

Fuzz I'm glad you've not been in as much pain, how is your graduated exercise going? X

It's ok thank you, in the end I decided to have two sections for each day - one for the cycling (still at 1m15s this week) and one for 'other' where I choose a little something, which has included stuff like bicep curls and little things on the wii fit. Trying to do both sections each day but sometimes just one. The 'other' section will hopefully stop me getting bored as I can just choose whatever I feel like. I do sometimes feel like doing more than that as it's really frustrating going this slowly, but I know from experience that it'll only cause more pain (especially as I'm trying to do more decluttering in the house too which can be pretty tiring). I think when I've finished my current chart (on week 2 of 4) I might put in 2 'other' sections as that will be a good way of increasing it sensibly.

Well I was right about the steps! Only 3300 so far today, so I'm going to have to get on it once the kids are in bed to get the other 6700 I need for today. And I do need it, FIL is just on his way back from the chipper with tea. Couldn't resist.

But am feeling a bit more motivated now - and yes buffalo we shall reconvene next Saturday morning and see how it's going! Going to take DD1 out for a walk with me tonight, will be slower but we don't get much one on one time so that will be lovely.

Bleurghh.... Feeling bloated and crap after a fish supper. I did go for a small one though. Small my arse. Off for the evenings walk to try and make up for it.

And on a final note - I know it's important to drink a lot of water. But how bad is it if you take liquids mainly in the form of diet coke? I'm assuming pretty bad (and expensive which is also an issue for us right now as I am recently a SAHM and things are frugal...). I really need to swap it for water - I've managed a couple of days without but it gives me a vicious headache, assuming caffeine withdrawal as I don't drink tea or coffee at all.

What do you think?

Your plan sounds good and sustainable fuzz, I can understand why you would feel frustrated and want to do more, but just remember that small, regular consistent amounts of exercise will be so much better in the long run than a couple of big sessions then not being able to do anything at all after!

How was your walk Socks?did you get the other 6700 steps that you needed? DP took DD out for the morning "while I went to the gym"...only I didn't, I indulged in reading my book and drinking tea! Oops! Then I felt horribly lazy and guilty and went out for a walk, got to 5000 steps when I got home and then went out again after dinner with DP and DD and have ended on 13,800 steps so I'm very happy with that.

We've had more of a treat day today but in still within my calories on MFP with the exercise adjustment calories added, so I'm calling that a win too. I decided not to weigh in this morning as planned as I really don't think I've lost much weight yet and I would only be totally disheartened if I haven't managed to lose that 2lbs extra from mid-week plus a load more I feel I deserve to have lost because I've tried really hard, I think whatever I saw on those scales today would be a disappointment so I'm going to leave it for another time (hopefully at least another full week but I'm not making any promises haha.)

Is anyone doing anything fun tonight?

How much diet coke do you drink daily Socks? Could you try cutting down gradually and gradually increasing water/dilute squash so you don't feel the withdrawal effects so severely?

Yep that's absolutely caffeine withdrawal, I feel similar if I've had lots of coke/Dr Pepper and then stop. I also don't drink tea or coffee. I would definitely try and up the amount of actual water - don't quote me on this but caffeine is a diuretic I think? Which means something bad, anyway :o I must say I'm also very motivated by the idea that it could help my skin if I drink more water - mine is awful lately. Although I've barely drunk anything today.

Saturday
• Big bowl of cereal
• Tuna mayo quesadilla
• 2 pieces dried mango
• Iced fairy cake
• 500ml water
• Steak pie, peas, chips and gravy
• Big glass of coke
• Cookie dough cheesecake with ice cream

Really not a healthy day at all! Friends visited and took me out in the evening for some much-needed child-free time. I have been feeling crap the last few days so it was really helpful for my emotional state :o I left about a third of my plate on both the main and dessert. Friends brought the cakes and insisted on paying for dinner so I felt too guilty to leave much! I felt very full and actually found what I chose quite stodgy. I'll have to try and make up for it tomorrow as I reckon it's wreaked havoc with my chances for the Monday weigh-in! :(

And now trying to do the tesco order for tomorrow - not waiting til Monday as we have run out of pretty much everything! Have a nice full freezer stocked with healthy food and I think I've done enough bulk cooking (I'd better start actually using what I've cooked now!) so just need fresh stuff to top up. Still got a limit of £40ish so that'll help.

Last shop I ordered a pack of rocky bars, some mini haribo bags and chocolate rice cakes as my treats. I've only had one bag of the haribo, everything else is untouched.

Checking in after a few days, hope everyone is doing well

I'm still sticking with it, will see what Monday's weigh in brings and work on drinking more water (which I just find so tedious to do!)

Had a takeaway tonight as home late from work and DD is still away. Wanted a big greasy pizza but got a chicken salad with garlic mayo instead (which was really good) and just left the pitta bread.

Fingers crossed for Monday!

I left it too late to go onto the coast path, so pottered along the main road and have finished on around 10,500 which I'm happy with. Net calories look OK as well, a bit over but I'm happy.

I can drink up to 5-6 cans a day which is expensive and awful for me. Going to cut down going mornings up (IYSWIM). So tomorrow - none until 10am. Squash instead - I'm awful, I really hate water on its own.

buffalo sounds like you are doing really well! And fuzz every day is a new day - so tomorrow will be better

That sounds like a good plan for cutting back socks :) you may after a while start finding that come 10am you think "actually I don't need one yet".

Order ended up at £50ish on tesco, included stocking up on a few bits like frozen salmon (that's healthy right?) so hopefully not too awful.

I am finding it easier not to snack, each day it seems less of a challenge. At least, not snacking nearly as much as before. Even a couple of weeks ago if I'd eaten out (and probably would've finished both courses rather than choosing to leave some of each) I would've snacked more once I got home. I only had the homemade fairy cake as my friend gave me it (I'm not quite ready to say 'no thanks I'm trying to lose weight' - I just don't feel comfortable talking about any of this IRL). DCs brought a load of other cakes and snacky things home from a neighbour's birthday party and I didn't even look twice at it. No thanks, not worth it. In the past I would've been instantly trying to figure out what I could snaffle away!

Tomorrow will be better (apart from the traditional shopping-day breakfast of a chocolate croissant). It needs to be! Got no plans so hoping to just stick to very light eating (at the moment so stuffed from dinner that I can't imagine eating anything. Being full actually isn't so nice now I really think about it. I feel a bit yucky)

I felt like that after my fish supper earlier. The 5km walk did me the world of good to digest it I think.

Good to hear the temptation is getting less fuzz.

I really, really need to get back into walking again! I am ok with walking at a normal pace really, it's just that anything that would class as 'cardio' is out as I instantly get dizzy and breathless I get anxious about just 'going out for a walk' because I panic about getting too tired or being in pain and unable to get back especially if I have the DCs in tow! I find it difficult walking with them, especially in the woods, as they want to understandably stop and look at stuff. But I find the stopping and starting is worse than just walking straight. If that makes sense.

I need to think about how I can get walking again. Might get DCs out on their scooters every day if I can? Just round the block. That'd still be about 15mins or something. But again... not allowed to be too ambitious.

Could you start with 15 minutes and increase it 5min per week? Plan routes using mapmyrun website, start with a 1km route and add a couple of hundred metres per week. That might give you confidence about your limits while still feeling safe?

I do make myself laugh sometimes - after saying here just last night that I was going to try not to weigh myself for another week, I went and weighed myself at the gym this morning Sunday is the only day that I can go to the gym first thing in the morning (6am) and weigh in my swimming costume while the changing rooms are empty - I spied my chance and took it, and I'll continue weighing in on a Sunday AM to give a realistic picture. Anyway, 6lbs off!! I am absolutely delighted of course, but remaining realistic that some of that will be the difference between weighing in the evening and weighing in the morning.
The interesting thing is that my body fat percentage has stayed the same, but my BMI has come down by 1.1 points and my body fat mass has decreased by 1.2kg.

It's 10am, have you managed without a diet coke so far today Socks?
Fuzz I think walking with the kids on scooters could work well as hopefully they'll stop lesson youcan keep walking - and there's no harm in walking round the block more than once so you're never too far from home and won't panic.