Officially my heaviest and time to change. Anyone with me?

[DreamingOfADifferentMe]

Hi all,

Well, having just returned from a gorgeous week's holiday, I decided to take the plunge and step onto the scales. Bloody hell.

I'm officially the heaviest I've ever been. I look awful. And I'm desperate to change. I've spent the last few days reading threads on here that I think will inspire me and I'm determined to make a change.

I have a number of milestones to get to, including a holiday in October, but the big one in my head is going to see the GP in a few weeks' time for a repeat prescription for my contraceptive pill. Last year, she made some reference about my weight as they may not have been allowed to prescribe it, given my high BMI. She did, and prescribed me a year's worth, and they're nearly gone. Have I lost weight? Have I heck - I'm actually heavier, and I can't bear the idea of going back and having the same utterly humiliating conversation.

So, I'm just debating the best approach. I know low/no carbs works really well for me, though I can struggle to stick with it, but that's what I'm going for initially.

This morning I weighed in at 15st 11, and I'm just 5ft 4. I'm a size 18. This cannot be who I am. I am not the woman who looks back at me in the mirror.

My mission is to shift, ideally, around 3st initially. I know that I look and feel great at 12st something, and even though I'll be far from a size 10 skinny minnie, I will feel fantastic. Then, when I get to that point, we'll see.

However, when there's such a long road ahead, I know I get easily defeated. So, does anyone fancy a hand to hold along a similar path? I'm happy to give tonnes of support and will cheer folk on, anyone fancy returning the favour?

I've been completely off track today.

DH cooked breakfast - I limited mine to 2 sausage, 2 bacon a slice of toast and some beans.

Then there was cake in the afternoon.

Then the family all wanted take-away. We've not had any for a while and I am determined that my diet won't impact them. We had chinese. Again, I limited it to only a bit of everything (chips/rice/noodles/sweet and sour pork/beef and mushrooms) and didn't go back for seconds.

Then there was more cake! And Baileys.

Oops.

I've jotted down what I have in the fridge and days it all needs cooking. It's a form of meal-planning. I hope to stick to it well enough and not go off track with any treats.

Morning all,

Sorry to have gone AWOL, we've been struck down with a rotten stomach bug and the kids have had it one by one, hubby is feeling decidedly off-colour and I'm the only one standing.

Anyway, hello to all the new folk, it's lovely to see you here. And a big high five to the oldies (as long as you're not offended by that), huge well done for sticking with it.

I'm decidedly sticky-out lipped this morning. I've stuck to it religiously, yet the scales are all over the place though this morning they've settled on another 2lbs off, so I'm 15.5 (6lbs off in two weeks). Had desperately hoped for more, but at least things are moving in the right direction. I know I need to drink more water, and I've not been active at all, so those are things I'm aiming to change this week.

Also not had chance to meal plan this week but will turn my attention to that later, when I'm not head stroking, feature writing, administering medicine or talking to clients. It's all go, and I think I'm just about staying sane...

I'll also read through the thread and see what I've missed, but briefly, Fuzz, well done on the shopping list and choosing less treats. Letme, again, ditto. I was 2lb lighter on Sat so felt really despondent today. I think maybe we need to step away from the scales so we're not disappointed. From what I understand, with low carb, it's all to do with fat cells filling with water and then they suddenly release, and you loose more weight, but in the meantime, your weight can briefly increase, which is more than likely what's happening to us. Doesn't make me feel better though!

Charley, don't beat yourself up. It was one day and today is a whole new day. Weigh in and we'll all support you. Let's face it, we're used to making crappy choices which is why we need to lose the weight, and it's going to take a while before we can either make better choices or give ourselves a break when we slip up.

When I did LC I was drinking about 3 litres of water a day; honestly you have to drink drink drink on any diet you do, because the fat has to be excreted by the body. Obviously you sweat and that helps, but you do have to wee and poo it out too.

I also remember after the initial 2 week loss; that I stayed the same for about 2 weeks, then recorded steady losses of about 2-3lbs per week.

Having a friend over tonight and so I've saved up my weekly cheat points for it, although I think I'm not going to need many as I'm making my own sauce and don't like spaghetti much anyway, so it'll be mainly meatballs for me!

Oh crap I just remembered I was supposed to weigh myself! I've already had breakfast. DS watching a DVD but when it finishes I'll jump on the wii fit board quickly and see what the damage is

Oh dear Dreaming hope the family recovers ASAP! I live in fear of stomach bugs (emetophobic)

I'm still off sick and not sure I'll be well enough to work for a while. Just focusing on doing my GET (will be up to 1m15sec on the bike this week... yay...) but being stuck at home pretty much all the time is making it very hard to ignore food. Period arrived this morning too so I'm a little grumpy and hungry with it.

milkmilk, oh how I love your username! You're absolutely right re the water. When I did it before, I was guzzling loads of the stuff and I know it makes me feel better and the weight comes off quicker. Need to drink more, so will make sure I fill up my sports bottle.

Fuzz, thanks lovely. I'm struggling with lack of sleep for sure. On Weds, my middle child was ill every 20 mins through the night, and then last night, my youngest was horribly ill from 1.30 until 5 this morning, then was awake again at 6. Just a thought, but maybe it's my eye bags that mean I've not lost as much weight as I'd have liked?

Come on ladies, where are these week two weigh ins?

dreaming Haha why thank you! Rather childish but then so am I!

I set my weigh in for Wednesday but I can weigh tomorrow easily... Yesterday I weighed 12 st 13 lbs so that's an 11lb loss for the 2 weeks, which I'm pleased about but I obviously realise a lot of that is probably fluid! 1 st 6 lbs to go.

Woah milk, that's an amazing loss. Can I ask, what type of plan are you following? You probably say further up the thread but with work and a poorly three year old, I'm not getting much time to read, frustratingly.

Right, you've inspired me. Pouring my water as we speak...

Also, lovely husband has told me we're away for a night this weekend, as an anniversary treat, so I want to shift as much as I can before Friday. Come on my fatty ass, let's get slimmer!

Not at all, your poor LO it's no fun for anyone when they're poorly. Will your minidreaming watch a bit of Disney?

I'm using Weight Watchers. I always have large initial losses, plus I work in quite a physical job and I end up covering about 5km per day which certainly helps. Now I expect it'll be about 1-2lbs per week.

Ahhh, love the idea of a MiniDreaming. And she is just that at the moment, she's fast asleep on the sofa with a blanket and her rabbit. Not surprised she's conked out, and thankfully she's been quite happy to watch Dora the Explorer and do the odd jigsaw while I work around her.

That's brilliant re WW. I did it years ago and I found the weight just melted off, but then when I tried it again some years later, the diet and I just didn't gel and it was a real struggle. To be honest, I find every diet a real struggle and then I rebel against myself, so trying to stay on the straight and narrow (narrow being the operative word) is my biggest issue, regardless of what I'm doing.

When I do low-carb and low-fat, I can lose around 1lb a day, but having done research it seems low-carb and high-fat is better for you, for long-term loss, but the weight's coming off slower, which is a little frustrating. Might go for the double low for this week and see if I can sneak a few more pounds off before the weekend. Fingers crossed.

Yes low carb high fat is a great way of weight loss; some people also combine it with intermittent fasting (so 2 non consecutive days very low cal so sub 500) and have had great results.

For me, the problem hasn't so much been what I eat; I cook a lot from scratch, with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables. It's how much I eat. Because covering a dinner plate with lasagne and having to have a separate bowl for your chips, and the garlic bread on another plate just isn't on really. And that's all fresh stuff; only thing from a packet would be the pasta sheets. But it's not healthy carrying on like that, and I have an irresistible urge to finish every last morsel on my plate.

The only reason I've gone with WW again is because 1) I need to be able to grab stuff off a shelf for work and 2) I need to work on my portions. SW was great, but didn't involve much portion control (so loads of pasta etc) so I found it didn't fix the root of my problem, which is piling my plate too damn high consistently.

I was always praised for my lovely appetite as a child, and oh wasn't I a good girl cleaning my plate like that? I deserve a pudding now, and a biscuit after that to top me off. My gran used to clap with delight when I asked for seconds of her roast potatoes. What I didn't know at that age was that my mum was a recovering anorexic; so she and her family marvelled at how I hadn't been affected, and what a strong, healthy girl I was.

That increased appetite followed me into my teen years; it was insatiable and that's when it stopped being so great. I didn't have a healthy appetite anymore, I was greedy and I didn't understand why that had changed. I've always struggled to control my weight, and whilst I've never been above 14 stone, what I put in my mouth is a constant battle and its seemingly something I'll just always have to think about. I guess it's the way I'm made.

Sorry for rambling!

Dreaming, well done on your loss! And I hope your family gets better soon I think I need to get DP to just hide the scales so I can focus on what I'm eating without making it all about the numbers on the scale. I'm feeling the benefits of low carb even if the scales don't show it! 2lbs on from last week so yep I'm devastated but I need to keep on keeping on and push through this because I know it works.

Going to a come dine with me style dinner party tonight and I'm doing the starter (mixed cold meats, cheese, salad) and I'm dreading how I'm going to get around all the carbs. I don't really want to tell my friends because I feel like if I tell too many people and then fail I'm just embarrassing myself

Oh letme, that's just gutting, but if it helps, my weight fluctuated wildly this week. Last Tuesday I was 15.7, by Friday I was 15.3, then on Saturday, 15.7 again. It makes no sense, and it just ruined my Saturday if I'm honest. I think I need to be really strict about how I jump on and off the damned things, and you do too. You're doing so well, keep on with it, and I bet you get a monster loss next week. Glug lots of water and don't be tempted to nibble on even a single carb. I just snuck a Hula Hoop, and bitterly regret it but it was bloody delicious and now I want the whole packet. Oh, the things that we do...

As for tonight, stuff your face on the stuff you've provided as you know you can have that. Enjoy it, the make a big deal to everyone else how you've eaten too much. If carbs are unavoidable, like a rice or pasta dish, eat as much as you think you can get away with. If they're not, opt for protein where you can and fill your plate with the things you know you can have. Everyone will be eating their own meal and probably won't even glance twice at your plate. As for dessert, have a bite, or two (or six if it's delicious) but then repeat how full you are but how delicious it is, and leave it. You can do it. A night like that doesn't need to derail you - you CAN and WILL do this. You're doing so brilliantly.

Milk, never apologise for rambling - this kind of talking is exactly what we're about, and getting to the root of the problem has to be a part of putting a stop to it continuing, surely?

It's really interesting about your childhood and how you were praised for eating more - that's bound to have had an effect on you and your attitude to food. It would have an effect on anyone. Did your mum overcome her issues? Do you feel more in control and more able to combat things now you've made those conniptions and understand why you eat the way you do?

I'm not sure why my relationship with food is so buggered, though my mum has spent the last 30 years dieting, and I was always aware of it. I grew up with body issues because of my dancing (I was pretty good, and danced 6 days a week) and seeing myself lined up against absurdly tiny waifs made me loathe my beautifully healthy body from a stupidly early age. I felt huge, even though I was quite tiny. When I hit my teens, and started spending a lot of time on my own at home while my parents worked, I started to binge eat. I'd skip breakfast and lunch at school then go home via different shops where I'd buy 6 or 7 bars of chocolate and eat them all. So screwed up. And even now, those tendencies aren't that far away. It's only a matter of weeks ago, rather than months or years, that I last did that.

Crikey, I don't think I've ever admitted any of this before. I feel both ashamed and yet it's also quite cathartic.

letme gorge on the starter, eat lots; then you'll have an excuse for being full for mains. Have a snack before you go as well; like chicken or cheese sticks. Then you'll look at the carbs in a more critical way. Carbonated water is your friend too; maybe take some along?
You CAN do this! And 2lb on isn't a failure. Absolutely not! Do make sure you're drinking enough though. When I was LC, I was downing about 3L per day, not including tea or coffee or soft drinks. Just plain water.

dreaming there's nothing to be ashamed about. This is probably the first time I've admitted my portion size. My mum is healthy now. She lived on diets when I was a little girl though. I was also naturally curvy; large breasts and hips and slim waist at an early age, when what I wanted was to be delicate and thin. All the thin girls used to do this thing where they'd compare themselves to the boys to show how tiny and delicate they were (you know what I mean I'm sure!!) and there was me, tall and athletic, with hulking shoulders from years of tennis and swimming (I used to compete when I lived in Australia!!) and size 7 feet, and there was them at 5 foot, size 6 with tiny hands and feet... I was SO jealous!

Week 2 17st4lb. So, lost a pound, somehow!

Earlier I actually stuck to the portion size on a cake I'd bought. Was supposed to serve 6 so wrapped half straight up for tomorrow, and divided the other half up for me and both DCs. That might actually be a first for me. Normally I'd have eaten most of it myself in one go. And actually I enjoyed the little bit I had perfectly well.

I've gained half a pound last week after losing 4lb the week before. Hey ho, I haven't let it put me off and am still concentrating on breaking bad habits.

So when I had the takeaway there was one plate and not a heaping portion, just a nice serving of everything. I get full quicker now I've been watching what I eat and I didn't need anything else. I now need to break the 'I need something sweet to finish my meal' habit. When I do have lunch then I'll have something like crackers and cream cheese and I will have a huge plate. The 4 or 5 crackers will be accompanied with leaves, grapes and apple so it takes a while to eat and has something sweet as part of them meal. It's the evening munchies that I find very dangerous.

Today is a bit rubbish so far.... I haven't felt hungry. Or when I do feel hungry I can't find anything I really fancy. When I count my cals, I'm not interested in wasting them on things I won't enjoy. And as I haven't settled on anything I fancy, I haven't eaten anything yet. It's 4pm. It's a bit weird, but at the moment I seem to be eating one big meal in the late afternoon, then a snack in the evening and that's it. It's just what seems to happen in the holidays. I'm busy in the mornings and don't fancy anything to eat. Sometimes I have lunch, sometimes I can't be bothered.

When Sept rolls round then my routine will be different. I still don't bother with breakfast but there will be salads or soup for lunch at 12 as that's when lunchtime is at school. But for now I'm actually enjoying the chance to be more unstructured and eat or not whenever it suits me... and fitting in some exercise.

I've managed to get my 10k steps in by lunchtime today as my friend invited me for a walk. My hip is a bit achey as I've not walked that far or fast in a while, but I am trying to up my exercise since my operation on my hip and it was good to get out today.

One minor downside - I must have brushed against something that I'm allergic to on my walk as when I got home my right hand was stiff and when I looked it was because it was swollen up. Goodness knows what it was that caused it, but I'm just glad it's starting to go down.

Guys I don't have time to reply properly but milk and dreaming you have really cheered me up! Seriously, I needed that!

I can just stick to chicken for my main and ask to take dessert home (so DP can enjoy it and it won't go to waste!)

Thank you again, I'll be back with a proper reply tomorrow

Hi everyone. Sorry I've not been around. Haven't managed to weigh myself as I'm really under the weather so no gym for me tonight. Can't imagine it will be good news. With the crèche being closed for a holiday club and DH working a few late nights I only managed 2 gym trips last week. Best friends birthday at the weekend was a far too boozy affair and if I've not gained I'll be bloody delighted!

Going to have a ridiculously early night and see if I can sleep off whatever I'm coming down with.

Have not been around - we are on holiday in wales with minimal signal etc. also am not eating particularly well. But I have got off my considerable arse and done the first week of the c25k thing. I was a keen if slow runner until I got shin splints earlier this year, so this is the first step in the rehabilitation of those. Good news is - no shin pain! Bad news is - my hip, knees and thighs are killing me. Classic signs I'm carrying too much weight, as if I didn't know...

I know I'm very late to the party but hopefully no one will mind! I am ancient, fat and wobbly and agree totally about the bingo wings and aching. At only 5'1, I should weigh 8 stones....hahahaha......can't remember ever being that light but lately the weight has slowly crept up.....and up....and up. Now I'm 12.2 and feel hideous, so having such a friendly group to chat with will really help my resolve to finally lose at least 2 stones. I'm so glad I stumbled across this thread ?

Monday
• Chocolate croissant
• 16g bag Haribo
• Gnocchi with pesto, cheese, carrot, avocado and lettuce
• 500ml water
• Slice of swiss roll
• 10 almonds
• Satsuma
• Raw broccoli stalk
• Cauliflower cheese with bacon, peas and carrots
• 500ml water
• 10 grapes

off to bed before the hunger takes over and I can no longer ignore it!

Hi everyone, I've just had a good old catch up of all the posts and it's put me in the right frame of mind to keep going tomorrow, so thank you :)

Weighed myself tonight at the gym and have put 2lbs on gutted! Absolutely gutted. There are a few excuses I could make - weighing in the evening, eating dinner before going to the gym as it's too late to eat when I get home at 9.30pm etc etc but really I just need to up my game I think. First plan of action is 3L of water and 10,000 steps daily (going to take DD out for a walk in the sling tomorrow, that's got to burn some calories!!) unfeeling very deflated after my efforts this week, but I can't just pack it all in this time, I HAVE to keep on going.

Just an update re dinner party this evening!

I ate lots of salad with balsamic vinegar, tomatoes, mozzarella, feta, goats cheese. All delicious! For the main I had more of the same and 2 chicken thighs in my friends homemade sauce. Was delicious! I avoided the sweet potato chips, onion rings, mini pizzas and no one noticed. I felt for sure someone would ask me why I wasn't having some chips but we were all too busy catching up.

For pudding (the part I was dreading) I cut myself literally a slither of each cake. The only person who saw that was my friend who remarked how good I was being. I had 2 bites of both and left the rest and no one said a thing. I felt quite rude leaving some food that my friends had made from scratch but I thought it would look better to try it and then say I was full.

After everyone had left I had a good chat with my friend and confided in her that I was trying out low carbing and she was so supportive. She has her own issues with weight and body image and we could relate to each other perfectly. She's started C25K and has inspired me to get over my embarrassment and start it again have even arranged with a friend to go out for a run tomorrow. Probably wont get far but we'll see how it goes

Feeling like a different person from the misery I was this morning, so thank you all as reading your updates has perked me up a lot. This time next week I will have lost 1lb. Or maybe I'll just get rid of the scales and continue on like I have. We'll see!

Hope everyone is well

Letme that is brilliant, well done you!! That is some serious self restraint. You should be feeling very virtuous today

Well done for confiding in a friend, Letme! I am nowhere near ready for that

Ah, that's a shame about the weight gain Buffalo. You may well be right about the reasons for it. And well done for not letting this make you give up. It's the longer term that counts, not one minor blip.

My news - not much, but I went to bed hungry last night. Hunger makes me panic, and usually am queen of the snack-filled bag, just in case... but anyway, we all ate dinner together at about half six, I had a handful of grapes a little while after (going to try putting some in the freezer today as apparently they're lovely like that) but resisted the temptation to have anything else. I reminded myself that whenever I binge in the evening, especially on sweet stuff (it's my worst time for sure), I wake up horrendously, uncomfortably hungry. While going to sleep I just kind of observed the hungry feeling and accepted it rather than letting it bother me.

So I think yesterday was a pretty good day really, again probably still more snacks than I should have, but still much better than normal. I've only just had breakfast as I couldn't get up (I'm very lucky that the DCs now just play quietly if they can see that I'm ill) but I'm a little worried how today will go because I've not got as much energy to get on with housework and decluttering - so less distraction from food!