Officially my heaviest and time to change. Anyone with me?

[DreamingOfADifferentMe]

Hi all,

Well, having just returned from a gorgeous week's holiday, I decided to take the plunge and step onto the scales. Bloody hell.

I'm officially the heaviest I've ever been. I look awful. And I'm desperate to change. I've spent the last few days reading threads on here that I think will inspire me and I'm determined to make a change.

I have a number of milestones to get to, including a holiday in October, but the big one in my head is going to see the GP in a few weeks' time for a repeat prescription for my contraceptive pill. Last year, she made some reference about my weight as they may not have been allowed to prescribe it, given my high BMI. She did, and prescribed me a year's worth, and they're nearly gone. Have I lost weight? Have I heck - I'm actually heavier, and I can't bear the idea of going back and having the same utterly humiliating conversation.

So, I'm just debating the best approach. I know low/no carbs works really well for me, though I can struggle to stick with it, but that's what I'm going for initially.

This morning I weighed in at 15st 11, and I'm just 5ft 4. I'm a size 18. This cannot be who I am. I am not the woman who looks back at me in the mirror.

My mission is to shift, ideally, around 3st initially. I know that I look and feel great at 12st something, and even though I'll be far from a size 10 skinny minnie, I will feel fantastic. Then, when I get to that point, we'll see.

However, when there's such a long road ahead, I know I get easily defeated. So, does anyone fancy a hand to hold along a similar path? I'm happy to give tonnes of support and will cheer folk on, anyone fancy returning the favour?

Hi gang, and welcome to everyone new

CQ that's such a shame about the horse riding, but as fuzz says it could turn out to be the perfect thing to aim for and to keep you on track with the healthy living.

Smillas thankyou for the advice about rest days, I think objectively I knew overdoing it would be silly but it helped to hear it! I have trouble with my knee on and off from an old injury so i need to be doubly careful really.

Anyhoo positive news from me this morning, I weighed in today as I'm away for a long weekend and scales showed 15st 2 (was 15st 7 at start and 15st 4 on Monday after a v late dinner Sunday night). I'm chuffed and think that will definitely help me to keep on the right track over the weekend. I also managed to get up early and do my c25k so I have now officially finished week 1!! Not sure if I might repeat it though as still found it hard.

Bufallo glad to hear you're thinking of starting c25k or zombies, we can spur each other on (or rather shame each other into doing it when we can't be bothered

Have a good weekend everyone, I'll probably check in a few times to keep me on track with good choices while I'm away, I've even packed my running stuff but it may stay in the bag!

Oh I meant to say last time I had a go at healthy eating I got to 15st 3 and then stayed at that for what seemed like forever until I eventually lost motivation, so seeing 15st 2 on the scales this morning was particularly brilliant!

• Small bowl of cereal
• Large apple
• 3 haribo
• Small wrap with ham, avocado, feta and salad
• Can of Dr Pepper
• 6 squares chocolate
• Large pitta with butter
• 4 brazil nuts
• Small bowl of cereal
• Satsuma
• Plate of Chinese takeaway – noodles, beef, crispy chicken and prawn crackers
• 500ml water

^ Thursday

And if you're wondering how I had the willpower to stick to 3 haribo, it was only because it was from a bag which DS chose, they're weird 'milkshake' ones and not very nice. Obviously I had to try one of each flavour to make sure though. :o

Mind you, the pre--this-thread fuzzpig would've eaten several more regardless of whether I actually, you know, liked them.

Thanks for all your kind words and good advice. I will definitely make that upper weight limit my first target.

The limit is 14 stone. Today I am 15st 8lbs. Not even close to it - if you're an experienced rider you 'sit' lighter on a horse's back so they will make an allowance for that, but I'm way over that.

So 14 stone is my first target. And I will treat myself to a new pair of jodhpurs when I reach it - I've had the same old pair for years and right now they probably don't even do up, stretchy though they are.

This will be a very abstemious holiday - minimal booze - I shall reward myself with lots of books instead. I don't even have any toddlers any more to keep me leaping off the sun lounger every 20 seconds.

What's really depressing is that 15 months ago I was under 13 stone. Have had a shocking year of overeating and little exercise due to injury.

I will use the pool every day even though it's only a little one, so by the time we come back I can manage a useful number of lengths at our local pool again and keep going.

Writing it all down makes it more accountable.

Thanks all

You can do it CQ (and everyone else, of course!). Hell, if you can be somewhat disciplined on holiday, you can do it anywhere! Go prove something to yourself.

Great plan, CQ!

Hmm, thinking AF is due any day now - getting the tell tale aches. Would explain a little of the grumpiness and lethargy too!

Checking back in here after 3 days of wild camping with the kids - therefore no phone or internet access of any kind. Done lots and lots and lots of walking and playing games - but lots of pub lunches and wine drunk....

Tomorrow starts again as I've just driven 7 hours home from the Lake District and DH has ordered curry. I do not have the willpower tonight after that lot.

Read most of what's gone down here, amazing inspiration coming through :-)

Wow, sounds fab Socks!

I have just discovered quite by accident that my homemade bolognese sauce (more lentil/veg than beef) goes spectacularly well with avocado. I think next time I serve it I'll just take a few bits of the DCs' pasta (enough to satisfy the 'ooh, pasta' feeling, if I feel the urge) and then just dollop the sauce on a halved avocado.

It really was. A friend of mine lives in a farm so we were in one of her fields. Wild camping in the sense that there was only a chemical loo (and the bushes!) and no water supply. Plus the cars were down at the farm, which is a 20 minute walk. Her DH carted our tents etc up there when we got there, but apart from that.

We didn't smell overly pleasant to be honest - but am home and showered now

I'm late to the party, but can I join?

I weighed myself 2 weeks ago and was the heaviest I've been. I've had an interesting couple of years and it's knocked my ability to stay sort of level with my weight. I always hovered around 12 stone, which was overweight, but I sort of got away with it due to my shape.

Then I got trigeminal neuralgia and had a miserable 3 months last year being unable to go out or sleep without attacks. Then the medication they put me on is notorious for weight gain. Also, I've had hip problems for 5 years that increasingly affected my mobility. This year (6 weeks ago) I finally had the operation to smooth down the bones in my joints and to prevent the cause of the pain. I was then really unable to get around for a few weeks but am now off crutches and starting to increase my activity.

So I weighed myself. 13st 12. Not a happy bunny.

So I signed up to nutracheck after reading a recommendation on here for it. I much prefer it to mfp for little reasons, but it is a paid site which will discourage lots of people from using it.

I have lost 5lb in just under 2 weeks, sticking to approx 1200-1500 cals a day and by trying to be active in little ways.

I'd love to join in with this thread as I find it motivating.

As well as using NC to track my cals and keep sensibly low, I'm trying a form of fasting while I'm on the school hols with the girls. If I eat breakfast then I get hungry quite quickly after. So I don't normally eat it on a work day.

On a holiday day, I'm trying to put off eating lunch until I'm very hungry. Sometimes this means 1pm, sometimes 3pm and sometimes it means I don't bother with lunch at all. Plenty of cals left for a snack later in the evening if I get hungry again.

I'm making sure I meal plan and record in advance what I intend to eat so I don't grab something at random. This both cuts down on the cals I'm eating as well as avoids food waste.

Writing this (long) post is keeping me out of the kitchen, where I keep going, opening the cupboard and searching for something to nibble on. Only I'm not hungry so I need to not do that. So hurrah for distraction too.

Today was a terrible food-day, calorie wise.

Muffin, bacon, egg (just the yolks) and 3 lattes (forgot to ask for skinny!) so lots of cals in the morning when I don't normally eat. But we were taking my poorly (with cancer) Dad out for a breakfast treat so it was worth it.

Then I wasn't hungry for dinner.

Dinner has been chinese pork, new potatoes with a tsp of butter and some salad.

Followed by a helping of leftover homemade raspberry sponge that I'd made yesterday to use up fruit that was ripe in the garden.

NC says I'm about 50 cals over. If I pull my finger out later and do some exercise (wii zumba/exercise bike - something that won't jar my healing hip) then I may make up for it.

Hi can I join please I really need a kick up the arse I'm the heaviest I've ever been 13 stone 9lb at 5'4 . Had a really few stressful years resulting in depression which I just ate rubbish. Done sw and we in past but now just trying to loose eat healthy and move a lot more.
I have rheumatoid arthritis and my knee dislocates a lot so wasn't sure if c25k was the best choice for me. I do enjoy swimming and using gym i will use more when ds goes back to school in 2 weeks

I can't run as it's too jarring. And I have to avoid repetitive motion that would stress the hip flexors, so no treadmill or stair master machines. So no gym for me. I have my exercise bike. The zumba class breaks for the summer so I'm hoping to be fit for it by the time it reopens in Sept. There's also an aquafit on my day off when school starts again, so I shall do that too.

But I'm going to have to focus on my food and my bad snacking habits over the next month or so while I have the luxury of time at home.

Sorry I haven't had time to read any of the newer posts and reply (or say hello to anyone new!)

Just wanted to check in and confess my guilt.

After 2 sugar free and low carb weeks I ate a slice of DD's chocolate cake (I made it and kind of felt like I deserved it!) then inhaled 2 small cupcakes and now I feel awful just hoping I don't use this as an excuse to binge and go back to my old ways

Friday

• 2 small bowls of cereal
• Can of Dr Pepper
• 6 prawn crackers
• 6 squares chocolate
• 10 almonds
• Large apple
• Satsuma
• 12 squares chocolate
• Pasta Bolognese with cheese, avocado and cauliflower
• Small plate sautéed potato and onion
• 20 Skittles
• 2 small chocolate cookies
• 500ml water
• 5 Bitsa Wispa

Not sure I've remembered all of today's properly - so far I've been typing it as I go but today I was too busying tidying so I'll not post it til tomorrow.

I have already made headway on the 'fuzzpig doesn't share food' [said in angry Joey Tribbiani voice] issue - I won a jar of sweets (a guess how many in the jar thing) and collected them today but have already given most of them away. Feels nice :)

A minor blip, namechange! You've learnt that the carbs made you feel crappy, now back on ye olde wagon :)

Thanks fuzzpig, I'm going to try and remember the sluggish carb feeling and hope I can stay on track! I had a small cup of grated cheese as a bedtime snack because I wasn't hungry enough for dinner so hopefully I won't go to bed and get the sudden you-won't-sleep-till-you-feed-me growls from my stomach.

Yey for sweet sharing I'm very possessive over my food and would have found that very difficult to do. Go you!

Just checking in quickly to catch up, say hello to newcomers and keep myself on track by writing things down :)

Oh letme, don't beat yourself too much over one slip up (but equally don't let yourself off the hook too much and allow a slip into bingeing either- fine line ), it's the weekend, and you can't live life without treats every now and again so just forget that blip and move on now :)

Congrats on your sweetie win fuzz

Charley I like your fasting idea - I'm terrible for eating for the sake of it and really need to address that, someone said upthread that whilst feeling hungry isn't necessarily a nice feeling there's nothing wrong with it, it won't harm you to feel hunger pangs, I think I need to start taking that to heart. I was feeling very hungry whilst swimming tonight and so was telling myself 'keep going, that's the feeling of fat burning away' and it felt good, even if it is a little silly

Socks your holiday sounds wonderful, glad you had a great time.

Mess I did week 1 run 1 of Zombies last night, I almost talked myself out of it but you spurred me on as I thought it'd be really good to be not too far behind you so we can encourage each other. And I survived!

Today has been a breakthrough for me in a couple of ways: 1/ we went through the McDonald's drive thru as DP younger brother asked us to pick up some food for him & neither of us ordered anything! 2/ I'd decided last minute tonight I wasn't going to bother going tothe gym, then finished logging my food on myfitnesspal and saw that I was around 300 calories over on my daily allowance which spurred me on to go to the gym and swim for 45 mins - the old me would never have done this!!

I can't tell you how much of a difference going to the gym is helping my motivation and my mood day to day, it's almost like a little social event having 1h or so all to myself almost every day. Bliss! The activity tracker is keeping momentum going too as I'm trying to beat the previous day's steps taken score each day haha, and it means I'm logging all good and drink in MFP to get an accurate picture of what I should change.

Anyway, I'll stop waffling!
Night night everyone.

Hello! I've been hovering on this thread for a while now and silently followed you all to make sure I didn't break and embarrass myself in the first week!

I came back off holiday on July 10th at 13 stone 10, which is large for my 5 ft 8 frame really. I started a proper plan 2 weeks yesterday and settled for Weight Watchers. I've had success with them in the past and I find I need to be able to grab something ready made from a shelf, which whilst I've enjoyed low carb/clean eating in the past, it's a lot of prep/thinking ahead and I work long hours. I'm sick of gaining and losing the same stone. I want to be 11 stone 7, because I think that's my happy weight.

I weighed in this morning at 12 stone 13 so really happy to have broken the 12 stone threshold. I'm all too aware though that this is where I've broken in the past; the 12 stone range is quite dangerous for me. That's mainly why I've joined today to make myself accountable to other people.

I have been having 1 cheat day a week; I honesty find I need them to undulge a little bit. Nothing crazy, just a meal out or something without counting pro points!

My day today is summing up to be like this:

Breakfast: overnight soaked oats made with 30g oats, 1 mullerlight vanilla and dark chocolate, a chopped banana, and a big handful of blueberries.

Lunch: Can of French onion soup, packet of ryvita minis, 3 plums and a nectarine.

Dinner: Grilled chicken salad with a poached egg on top.

I've found Nando's to be a great place with DS; I have a chicken breast burger or butterfly chicken with undressed salad and a refill diet coke. Pizza Express Leggara pizzas are also pretty good, and I order them with an extra side salad. I've found these things have helped me feel more 'normal'.

Hope everyone has a great day!

I try to go to bed a little hungry now. If I eat just before bed - especially something sweet - I wake up utterly ravenous and it always sets the next day off on a bad start!

Hi I'm back was working all weekend so stopped my usual snacking habit, heading of in campervan to haggerson Blackpool and lego land going to be so hard to resit temptation, then on sat in going out drinking in Edinburgh . Maybe not the best week to start! Need to think what I want to do either 5:2 not keen to follow sw again. Any ideas / recommendations would be great fully received

Eek just remembered that we weigh in tomorrow, and I was just about to make an excuse not to go to the gym tonight!

Saturday
• Big bowl of cereal
• 20 Skittles
• 10 Bitsa Wispa
• Baguette slices with avocado, goats cheese and watercress
• Spoon of tzatziki
• Large apple
• Half can of Dr Pepper
• Rotisserie chicken with tiger bread and lettuce
• 3 toffees
• 3 profiteroles
• 500ml water

Sunday (posting now to prevent me being tempted to eat anything else!)
• Half bowl of cereal
• 4 fish fingers, sautéed potatoes, broccoli and carrot
• 3 profiteroles
• 2 sweets
• 4 slices garlic bread with a little cheese
• 500ml water
• 2 sweets
• Small plate of chicken, lettuce and dauphinoise potato
• Half a pear
• 4 brazil nuts
• 2 sweets

I have done pretty embarrassingly this week! Still much better than I would've been if I wasn't admitting my greed on here writing everything down, that's for sure.

I think the key for me will be finding the balance between cutting back enough to make a difference and still having enough of a treat to not feel hard done by!

Just doing a tesco order, don't need much fresh stuff as I've done so much bulk cooking, so I'm making up much of the minimum spend with laundry stuff and toiletries so as not to be too tempted to make up the whole amount with junk food!

I promised DD we would make pesto tomorrow, think I'll get some gnocchi to go with mine, and the last thing I want to batch cook is some cheese sauce so I'll get some cauliflower to go with it. DH finishes early so he can grate the cheese (one of the things I find too painful when I'm in a bad way - like now :(). I might try a sausage casserole too, I reckon I could get the DCs to eat that, no idea what else to put in it though?

Right. Shopping order done. Some treats, less than before although still undoubtedly more than what a normal person should eat in a week! But thought really hard about what I was craving so as not to waste the chance of a treat (oh god I'm sounding really obsessed aren't I :(), Hoping that I can make them last.

And I did not order Dr Pepper or any other drink. Must drink more water!

How's everyone feeling about the new week ahead? I'm dreading weigh in to be honest, as I know I have done badly, but I've been saying to myself 'there's no point thinking about weight' for too long now, I have to accept it's the right thing to do even if it makes me sad in the short term.

Fuzzpig well done on ordering less treats, you sound like you're getting into better habits and changing little things slowly but surely

I'm dreading weighing in tomorrow, I weighed myself this evening before my bath and was 7lbs (yes a whole half a stone!!) heavier than I was on Saturday morning. My bad habit is if I do well I constantly weigh myself expecting miracles and instead when my weight fluctuates I get disappointed. Can't help feeling despondent now because my aim was 2lbs off this week. Unless I miraculously lose 6lbs by tomorrow morning it's not going to happen

So since said weigh in I've been frantically googling low carb weight gain and have read (I know I shouldn't put all my trust into everything I find on google) that even one carb meal can cause the body to produce a lot more glycogen. glycogen apparently weighs a quarter of a lb, and holds onto 4x it's weight in water. Hence sudden increase in carbs = more glycogen = water retention + weight gain.

I am hoping beyond hope that my small huge cake binge has messed my body up and I'll be back to normal as long as I stick to the plan.

Anyway, enough blabbing from me, I need to sleep!