Officially my heaviest and time to change. Anyone with me?

[DreamingOfADifferentMe]

Hi all,

Well, having just returned from a gorgeous week's holiday, I decided to take the plunge and step onto the scales. Bloody hell.

I'm officially the heaviest I've ever been. I look awful. And I'm desperate to change. I've spent the last few days reading threads on here that I think will inspire me and I'm determined to make a change.

I have a number of milestones to get to, including a holiday in October, but the big one in my head is going to see the GP in a few weeks' time for a repeat prescription for my contraceptive pill. Last year, she made some reference about my weight as they may not have been allowed to prescribe it, given my high BMI. She did, and prescribed me a year's worth, and they're nearly gone. Have I lost weight? Have I heck - I'm actually heavier, and I can't bear the idea of going back and having the same utterly humiliating conversation.

So, I'm just debating the best approach. I know low/no carbs works really well for me, though I can struggle to stick with it, but that's what I'm going for initially.

This morning I weighed in at 15st 11, and I'm just 5ft 4. I'm a size 18. This cannot be who I am. I am not the woman who looks back at me in the mirror.

My mission is to shift, ideally, around 3st initially. I know that I look and feel great at 12st something, and even though I'll be far from a size 10 skinny minnie, I will feel fantastic. Then, when I get to that point, we'll see.

However, when there's such a long road ahead, I know I get easily defeated. So, does anyone fancy a hand to hold along a similar path? I'm happy to give tonnes of support and will cheer folk on, anyone fancy returning the favour?

Chorizo is fab. We are all addicted to it! You need so little to add lots of flavour so it works out really cheap too.

My best ever scrambled eggs are served with chorizo, pine nuts, parmesan shavings, sauteed red pepper and tomatoes, and whatever green veg is around (asparagus and long stem broccoli is my favourite - I think I'll treat myself to some next week!)

Wednesday (obviously posting it means I can't eat anything else now!)

• Big bowl of cereal
• 500ml water
• Bowl of lentil and veg stew
• Can of Dr Pepper
• Small bowl of cereal
• Scone with clotted cream and raspberry spread
• Large spoonful of chickpea curry
• Half a nectarine
• 10 grapes
• Bowl of spaghetti Bolognese and cheese
• 250ml water
• Small chocolate ice cream

Slightly better... but got very snacky in the afternoon and evening. Major chocolate cravings. Only narrowly resisted another Dr Pepper too.

I did the first 15min session of tai chi - my arms hurt! But it was nice.

I think I've learnt that a lot of things I enjoy for snacks aren't actually worth buying for myself. I get so anxious about sharing food, I want it all myself. I panic at the thought of someone else having it. I'm so selfish :(

Anyway, I'm going to turn this into a positive now. When I want things that only come in large packets, I will wait until I have friends or family here to enjoy them with me (I can't usually share with DH as he's a coeliac). Because actually, one is usually enough, and otherwise I end up stuffing my face (especially if they're something that might go off quickly - like the scones, I had two yesterday, even though I didn't really want two!). This will be a big change for me, but I think it'll be positive. Get me, learning to share before I turn 30

That's great fuzz, sounds like if you can crack that it will really help.

We're running out of stuff in the fridge now so today I must make time to do a meal plan for the next week, this is one of our very big sticking points... OH says 'I'll do the shopping tonight', I say 'NO we don't have a meal plan!' and days go by with me having good intentions to make a plan meanwhile each lunchtime I go and get a quiche/packet sandwich plus treats then each night we have takeaway/supermarket oven special meal deal until eventually he just does the bloody shopping anyway and there's crisps and chocolate and oven meals and puddings (plus lots of fruit and veg to be fair to him) so there goes another week of not healthy eating! I know... Why don't I just do the shopping if he can't be trusted?! Well that's even worse!! Someone please directly ask me later if I did the meal plan and shame me into doing it if I haven't I just find it really time consuming to look for easy/quick/whole family friendly recipes, plus I like to set the bar high and try to cook stuff that will have good leftovers for lunch the following day or that I can freeze and it feels like such a big task to do on an evening when I'm tired and just want to rest. I really should start saving recipes that have worked well instead of finding new ones every time.

Last night I went to the gym and swam 30 lengths - I was soooo slow but I refused to bottle it and get out after only a few because I felt intimidated and overwhelmed by the fit bodies around me swimming fast, and I felt so brilliant about it after
Today I'm going to Yoga then I'll swim again.

If anyone has any nice recipes they could share (step by step if possible - I'm a pretty woeful cook without a 'hold my hand' recipe) I would be ever so grateful. Thank you lovely ladies!

Buffalo have you done that meal plan yet?! I find I do mine fairly quickly because I cook the same thing every week I branching out into new territory a bit though!

Well today had been ok so far. Scrambled eggs with cream and cheese for breakfast. Lunch has been a bit rubbish, an avocado and half a tin of tuna mayo, as I've been in the kitchen most of the day baking DD's birthday cake (4 layer dark chocolate cake that may or may not be a complete disaster) along with some fairy cakes the cake smells amazing! And I need to make some progress with all the mess in our flat as its an absolute tip and I wanted to have it nice and sparkly for DD's birthday on Saturday. So much to doooo!

DD is awake so I'm going to get her up and try and entertain her whilst icing cakes and cleaning everything. Hope everyone is having a good day

PLEASE someone tell me I do not need to eat a fairy cake! I ran out of icing midway through decorating one cake so decided to give it to DD as she is obsessed with saying "cake". She was very eager when I said I had a treat, until she saw the icing and then she refused to take it. So now I have half a delicious fairy cake in the fridge (I ripped the bottom non-iced part off and gave it to DD) that is calling to me. I know it's not a huge binge but I've been so good at cutting out all the crap carbs and sugar and I know even a little taste will make me crave more its bad enough that I've been licking the spoon for the batter and sneakily "testing" the icing!

Oooo the cake sounds delish letme, yummy! How old will DD be on Saturday? Hope she has a lovely birthday

Yes I've done the meal plan, woohoo!! We can order the shopping tonight to arrive tomorrow and then my aim is to batch cook a couple of the meals on Sat so we don't fall into the trap of having the ingredients but not the time or motivation to cook the meals by the time evening rolls around.

Did you manage to resist the fairy cake? I will be so super impressed if you did, there's no way I would've.

I haven't had a bad day diet wise so far, had Cheerios for breakfast (are Cheerios really bad??), 20 cashews for a snack and a cheese and cucumber roll for lunch - I was still absolutely starving after it though, I blame the gym haha. So I had a cup of tea and a couple of rice crackers and I'm ok again now.

She'll be 2 I'm so excited, I really can't wait! Thank you buffalo

I did, the fairy cake is still in the fridge! I've been distracting myself by going through the toys and putting everything in the right box (it was a scary sight looking underneath our settees to get lost duplo bricks!)

Oooooh well done, any interesting recipes I can drool over? I get that, when I finish work and get home there is 0% chance of me making dinner (unless it involves shoving a pizza in the oven!) Luckily me and DP work mostly opposite days so he can cook when I'm working and vice versa. Although I've only just gotten meatballs out to defrost and I have zero motivation to

She'll be 2 I'm so excited, I really can't wait! Thank you buffalo

I did, the fairy cake is still in the fridge! I've been distracting myself by going through the toys and putting everything in the right box (it was a scary sight looking underneath our settees to get lost duplo bricks!)

Oooooh well done, any interesting recipes I can drool over? I get that, when I finish work and get home there is 0% chance of me making dinner (unless it involves shoving a pizza in the oven!) Luckily me and DP work mostly opposite days so he can cook when I'm working and vice versa. Although I've only just gotten meatballs out to defrost and I have zero motivation to go and cook them

I'm not sure about Cheerios, they might be a bit high on sugar? But they do taste good, definitely not the worst breakfast to have! Your day sounds really good, especially the cheese and cucumber roll

Agh I don't know why I've posted half my message before my full one?! I'm pretty sure I didn't press the post button! Fat fingers probably

I am so freaking hungry :o at the moment it kind of feels like I'm just delaying the inevitable pigging out session.

I'm a bit stressed today for various reasons and it's making me carb-crazy.

I'm hoping Cheerios aren't too bad, because I've been having them for breakfast too! I wouldn't normally choose them if I was trying to be healthy but I have half a box of them and half a box of shreddies that need eating. I won't replace them when they're gone though and just stick to fruit, porridge or bran flakes for breakfasts.

Well done on resisting that fairy cake Letme, I've been having my own battle just now with delicious crumbly Viennese biscuits that my neighbour brought round yesterday. I can almost feel how gorgeous and melty they will feel in my mouth but I WILL NOT EAT THEM!

Buffalo well done on the meal plan, I need to sort some recipes out and do some batch cooking, as I can't live on grilled chicken, salad and hummus forever! I'm not the greatest cook and when I think about hot meals to make my mind just go immediately to pasta with mountains of cheese...

Focussed on my early weigh in tomorrow ahead of my weekend away - hoping to also fit in my final week 1 run of c25k before I leave... Hoping that writing it here will make it harder to roll over and deciding not to bother when the alarm goes off.

Nooooooo fuzz don't do it!!! What have you got in the house that could fill you up and be good for you at the same time? A handful of nuts and some fruit/yoghurt? Even a bowl of cereal and some dried fruit?

Me please. 5'5 and 15 stone. I keep joining these threads and never actually DO anything!

I need to sign back up to nutracheck as well as walk more.

Hello all waves

I actually just had a bowl of cereal. So that's two today this is why we don't normally have it in the house! All of us are addicted to cereal. It's Clusters so could be worse I suppose. Sort of. Still hungry so a satsuma it is. That actually feels like I'm pigging out but it's much much much better than it would've been a week ago! Mostly just because I don't have as much crap food in the house, though!

DH won't be home for ages, he's in a very stressful situation (family funeral, lots of re-opened wounds and conflict) and I'm on edge worrying about how he's coping.

Just getting DD in from playing out all day, and then I'm going to suggest we all do a bit of Wii Fit Plus. I'm doing the step aerobics bit, I used to do it every day top score thank you very much but even the lowest level will challenge me now. Still, the idea of GET (graded exercise therapy) is that it very slowly builds up your tolerance, because to do it quickly could cause massive setbacks or a relapse. So I must just celebrate my achievements instead of focusing on what I can no longer do (yet!).

Hi Frankie, come on board! Even if none of us are doing much, we can do it together

Fuzz cereal is a good choice, compare the calories in that to a family sized bag of Doritos or a galaxy bar. Achievement = yep! And you will get back on top of the score board and no one will DARE beat you

I can just imagine how good those biscuits taste Mess! BUT, out of all the tasty food in the world you could gorge on, how high would biscuits be on that list? Because really, biscuits aren't THAT special, and they make a mess, and if you're big of nork like me you'll usually find crumbs in your bra 4 hours later which you totally eat So obviously those biscuits will just have to wait! (Or maybe have one with a lovely cup of tea and rejoice in the deliciousness...ahem)

ALSO, your post has reminded me that I really do need a kick up the backside to start C25K again. I'm just scared of a) dying and b) people seeing me and laughing

You're right of course Letme, if i was asked to list my top 15 foods they wouldn't even get a mention, but because they're in the kitchen right now they are bumped up the list of things I want! Managing to resist though because of weighing in tomorrow and also because I'm having a bit of a splurge at my friends' house tomorrow night, both food and alcohol so I need to be good before and after to make it ok!!

How far did you get in c25k before? (Sorry if you've already said, I can't remember). My run yesterday was the first one I'd done in public, before that I had been running in circles round my (not tiny but certainly not huge) back garden! Had run a visible circle in the grass so decided it was time to brave the local rec ground!

That's always the way isn't it? It often doesn't matter for me if its food I absolutely love or not, if its there and I know it is I want it! Biscuits are a food I like but I don't buy them often, but if I do you can bet I'll eat at least half the pack in one sitting

I completed it (in probably double the time you're meant to!), I got to the podcast with the 20 minute run and decided I would just time myself and listen to my own music. And from there just worked on doing more and more. I got to running 45 minutes without stopping (very slowly, I cannot run fast at all) from barely managing a minute.

Now though I'm nearly a stone heavier than I was when I started and I definitely couldn't do half a minute

I have been utterly amazed that I've managed to do the 60second bursts of the first week, I was convinced I just could not run. Of course even now I've done a couple of rounds of the week 1 run I'm still utterly convinced I won't be able to do week 2 - that's coming up on Sunday but I sort of want to do week 1 again. Im not good at going out of my comfort zone!

Starting to feel guilty for not exercising on my rest days, thinking I might dust off my bike when I'm back from my weekend away.

Meant to say Letme that's great that you got up to running 45 mins without stopping, if I make it to that point I will be very pleased indeed!

Hi. I'm new here. I signed up looking at some schooling issues around Sheffield but have started reading everything else. I run a gym in Sheffield so I can maybe throw a few tips your way.

Have any of you read Tom Venuto? Fantastic. I'm not sure if I am allowed to post links or not .... ? If not, google it and take a look on Amazon. What I find is that most people who try to lose weight constantly obsess about not thinking about food or what food has less fat, calories etc. By obsessing about not doing something actually makes you more inclined to do it. You can't help your self. Have any of you heard of Tony Robbins, les Brown, Zig Zigler?

First time in this thread, hello everyone! I was my heaviest ever (AFAIK) at the start of this month, at 11st 10. I'm now 11st 1.

Mess, I would recommend not exercising on your rest days, at least until you've been at this consistently for a few months. It's so, so easy to get injured in the first few months of your body getting used to the running, and it'll prevent you running for days and days. Your muscles and tendons and things need that downtime right now. If you absolutely can't bear to do nothing, maybe go for a short, leisurely walk, or do something that involves your upper body only, maybe?

I loved progressing with C25K. Haven't run for over two years now though and probably wouldn't even be able to manage week 3.

Hello everyone - can I try and join in? I feel like I've been here so many times

I'm going on holiday tomorrow and was looking forward to going horse riding - there's a ranch v near our rental villa. But I just looked at their website and I'm too heavy for their max weight limit . I've been telling the family how much I was looking forward to getting back on a horse and now I can't. And my first thought was how I can't tell them.

I have hit the limit if I'm considering lying to my husband and teenagers. I've always told them I will not shout at them for their behaviour as long as they don't lie to me.

Rock bottom.

I may not be able to log in for a week but I am marking my place as I definitely need to do something about this, and I'm not even waiting until we get back - I will be trying to do some exercise every day while we are away and eating lots of salads and fish. Hopefully I won't gain any more.

Arse.

Oh no, CQ - that's a horrible wake up call :( I feel similarly about rollercoasters - I'm wondering if my weight would mean I can't go on any. Or even if the harness things would do up.

Will you be going to this particular place again next year? Or could you book somewhere else with horseriding available for your next holiday? That would be a good thing to aim for. How close are you to the weight limit?

Welcome to all newbies :)

Well, yesterday turned into a bit of a fail. Although I'm quite aware that it could've been a whole lot worse. DH quite rightly wanted a Chinese after his immensely stressful day, so I had some - not the several platefuls that I'd normally have - and we didn't save what was leftover other than prawn crackers. Actually I didn't really like what I ordered, so that helps! But this morning I had two bowls in a row of cereal. I've got a bit of toothache again so I'm going to use my really strong mouthwash in a bit - which makes everything taste horrible for a good while after. This could be a useful tactic.

I'll be lucky if I've not gained loads this week - I've not been at work so bugger all exercise beyond my GET and a bit of housework. My job can be quite physical (which ironically is often what makes me ill).

Feeling really dizzy this morning, it's my GET rest day (other than the 1min cycling which I do daily) but want to try and achieve a bit more decluttering. My parents are coming back to continue helping with the house tomorrow so I want to show I've managed a little in between their visits!

Speaking of decluttering, I've been watching old episodes of Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners. I couldn't help noticing that most of the cluttered homes were lived in by overweight people, whereas most of the cleaners were slim. I don't think that is coincidence. Unkempt home, unkempt mind, unkempt body... certainly fits for me anyway :(

Aw CQ, how disappointing for you. I totally understand your mindset on lying about it, it would be the first thing I think of too tbh. Fuzz makes some good suggestions there, that could be a really good goal for you to set! I'd love to go horse riding too, I used to ride when I was little and I'd love to do it again, you've pushed me to have a good research of weight limits and make it one of my goals too.

Fuzz please take it easy if you're feeling dizzy - how about you set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes of decluttering every hour, then take a break? It's surprising how much you can get done in short bursts! I daren't look in our garage it's an absolute disgrace and we must sort it out.

We bought jawbone activity tracker things yesterday and I've set the inactivity timer to tell me (between 9am and 6pm) every 15 mins when I've been inactive so I'll get up and move! ...every little helps haha.

Went to the gym yesterday and did yoga then30 lengths swimming, my knee is starting to feel much better for it already. Tonight whenDP is home from work I'm going to try the first run of c25k, or maybe Zombies, Run! I went on the scales at the gym yesterday and my own scales at home said I was down2lbs, but the scales at the gym said i'm heavier than when I started by 1lb, so I'm going to go with their scales and only use them once a week (they cost £1 to use anyway so I won't jump on them all the time like I do at home!)