How can I lose 10lbs before my holiday on, er, Monday?

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

In a panic. Was meant to start diet in May but one thing (or rather, one pizza) led to another and now I've got less than a week.

I'm 5'6" and look great at 9st 7. This morning I was 10st 11! Shiiiiiiiit!

What can I do? I really REALLY need to crash some of this off. I don't care if it's unhealthy, it's only for a few days and I can do it properly when I get home.

Any and all ideas MASSIVELY gratefully received. What are your tried and tested tricks? Thank you!

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

I have been incredibly on-plan this afternoon, after the Truffle Blip. I've eaten fruit (Waitrose have amazing grapes in at the moment - Sable Seedless. They're black and taste LOVELY. Or I was just at that level of starvation when everything tastes good), and my two hard-boiled eggs. I am allowed half a grapefruit later, I think.

I collected my further job lot of Full & Slim. It's got the longnamefillingstuff in it, plus Green Tea and vitamins. I've got bloody 13 sachets to get through now. You have 3 a day - I thought I'd take some on holiday to calm me down. It might work to line the stomach before Happy Hour too?

I'm going to have to go to bed when the DC do tonight, to stop me eating.

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

CatThiefKeith - you could lose 18lbs in 7 weeks on Scarsdale. Or the Save&Slim meal-plan thing that LucasNorth mentioned. Have you been following your own plan? 1lb a week is good! But maybe a more structured plan would shift it slightly faster. MyFitnessPal? Dukan? Atkins? No-carb?

Tactical coma?

[KittiesInsane]

Keith, was that just possibly meant to say 'shift', or are you following What's Cousin's method of weight loss?

[trikken]

Yes my jeans that I couldn't wear a few weeks ago now go on, still give me a bit of muffin top but wearable still. Its not as noticeable as I'd have imagined. I was a bit surprised to have lost as much as that. as thought I'd probably only lost a pound or so.

[LucasNorthCanSpookMeAnytime]

Bloody WW with its "lose half a gram every 10 years or you'll pile it all back on"

Yes, it's nonsense. There is nothing magic about this diet, or any other fad diet, that's going to make you put the weight straight back on. The only thing that puts it back on is going back to your old ways of eating - and that goes for healthy eating & exercise too! That's one of my fave bits about the S&S diet - no exercise allowed :)

CatThiefKeith, my S&S diet would do 18lb in 7 weeks easily! Depending on how much you have to lose you'd probably lose 1.5-2 stones in that time (losses are smaller if you're near to your goal).

[trikken]

I swear by hula hooping.

[5madthings]

tricken I tried hula hooping a few weeks back on a national trust day out it was bloody hard. How do you keep the dam thing up? I hoped my hips would help but beanpole ds2 was better than me!

My waist is now back to 30" so much better than the 32 it was a few weeks ago, another inch or two to go but am fitting back into some if ny skinny jeans :)

[NellVarnish]

I'm much fatter than you Whats but your thread has made me lose about two stone chuckling.

And it's been more of an inspiration to Do Something than anything else I've tried of late. I'm pinning All The Bad Diets to peruse later so I can lose three stone by a week on Monday.

You are v v v funny. Arf at slithery poo. Where can I buy this slimming tea from?

[Itsfab]

Exercise never = weight loss for me

tonight i quit my job and have had 2 glasses of wine, a custard doughnut. coronation chicken - home made so no calories of course, fish and chips crisps and probably loads more crap

[CatThiefKeith]

Oh my God! Shift, not shit!

I've been doing WW for two fecking years. Fortunately I've been doing the weighing for half of that so not had to pay.

I'm currently doing a Bridget Jones and cherry picking a bit from each diet.

I have virtually cut out carbs, no bread, pasta or rice (except for a cup of brown rice maybe once a month)

I am eating lots of vegetable soup (or 0 points soup if you are a WW bod) and then evening meal is something like meat and salad.

If carb crazy dh insists on a pasta dish (at least twice a week) then I substitute the pasta for a jacket with some of the (homemade) sauce and a side salad.

Breakfast is either an omelette or boiled eggs.

Sugar free jelly for sweet cravings.

My downfall is alcohol. I stay strong all weekend as dh works those evenings, but if we go out early in the week I usually end up drinking pints or wine.

In fairness though, I usually lose 2-3lb if we avoid the pub one week. Gah. I can't leave the house again til October can I?

[CatThiefKeith]

Lucas how much is this S&S diet then?

[MinesAPintOfTea]

I've had a genius idea! If your hair is long enough to wear bobbles made from lead, get a pixie cut. That's a good pound or two straight away.

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

Nice! Good thinking! Then I could SELL my hair (like in Little Women) and buy more laxatives! Win win win!

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

Look at all those exclamation marks. I've actually gone a bit delirious.

Slimming Tea is available everywhere. On the tea aisle, next to the fancy teas like chamomile, etc. There are loads of different types but they all have some derivative of the word "slim" in the title and they all work the same way. They make you crap.

My cousin's unexpected-incontinence tea was Slimatee. That link takes you to the Amazon page where you can buy it, but read the reviews before you do! As one customer baldly puts it, "it just emptied your bowels out". :)

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

CatThiefKeith - your diet sounds great but aren't jacket potatoes The Enemy..?

God I'm hungry. It just hit me like a wave. I'm going to make a ShitterTea and go to bed wearing my Zaggora hot pants. (That's a guaranteed pound off.) I love nights when my fiancé isn't here, I can sweat away in my wetsuit and he has no idea.

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

There might have been some Bridget Jones-style "substitutions" in my diet tonight. (I'm doing the [[http://www.jaduncan.com/2006/04/how-i-lost-stone-in-week.html?m=1 James Dincan one.) instead of "salad", I might have had "leftover burger that Youngest son didn't eat". And instead of "grapefruit", it was "bits of chocolate dug out of the middle of a pain au chocolat". But only really really small bits.

[herethereandeverywhere]

Brush your teeth a lot.

Whenever you feel hungry brush your teeth. It generally puts you off whatever you want to eat as it won't taste the same with minty fresh breath.

[CatThiefKeith]

They are only little ones though, surely they can't be that bad, can they?

[SouthernComforts]

I have genuinely laughed out loud at you OP, you are hilarious!

I am a very similar height and weight to you.

I think I love you.

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

Aww!

I'm lying in bed in my wetsuit, having drunk a ShitterTea. I've got the entire Zaggora range on - trousers and the jacket. I look like I'm about to run a marathon or dive to the bottom of the ocean.

My stomach is already issuing the first warning churns. Earlier today, I had to use the loo at Waterloo station in sudden desperation and it was awful. The air was SOLID. I had to stay in there for ages so everybody who'd seen me go into that cubicle would be gone before I came out. I hope I can get this wetsuit off in time if I wake up bursting for a slither.

[CalamityKate1]

"Bursting for a slither"

All your posts have made me genuinely lol but this one has really tickled me. I'm going to be remembering it at inopportune moments, and suddenly snorting, for weeks. I just know it.

I might have to try the shitters tea.

[FrankSpencer]

I can't drink ShittersTea. Anything designed to make me 'go' give me horrendous, sweat inducing painful stomach cramps.

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

Frank - it's not an actual laxative. For example, I had a cup last night and haven't been yet. You might be ok?

[LucasNorthCanSpookMeAnytime]

Keith, the S&S diet is around £100 a month, depending on what plan you choose. And you need to buy a smoothie maker for about £15 to make to do-able, imo. It IS a lot of money when you can do other diets for free but I was desperate for the 'quick fix' of it and I justified it by realising that I wouldn't be eating much actual food for the month, which would bring the cost down! I have a link for 10% off (gets me a fiver off my next order) if you're interested but it's a lot of cash to splash out, I know.

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

I think £100 for a month's worth of food is really quite cheap! (But I'm the woman who happily pays £10 for two prawns and a hazelnut.)

The Scarsdale diet is expensive - steak, chicken, fruit, veg... Nice healthy food is more expensive than fattening stuff.