How can I lose 10lbs before my holiday on, er, Monday?

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

In a panic. Was meant to start diet in May but one thing (or rather, one pizza) led to another and now I've got less than a week.

I'm 5'6" and look great at 9st 7. This morning I was 10st 11! Shiiiiiiiit!

What can I do? I really REALLY need to crash some of this off. I don't care if it's unhealthy, it's only for a few days and I can do it properly when I get home.

Any and all ideas MASSIVELY gratefully received. What are your tried and tested tricks? Thank you!

Today's weigh in: 10 stone 9! Another pound unhealthily and temporarily shifted! Now I'm going to have grapefruit, toast and a boiled egg. And a F&S sachet and loads of water.

Oops, no, I don't get toast today. Just the egg. :(

Just read the whole of this thread, it's had me in stitches! I've got a wedding to go to in a week's time, and optimistically bought a dress that's a tiny bit too small. A 14 when I had turned into a biscuit and cake chugging eating machine.
The dress is ok, it all fits... Except the arm holes. It's sleeveless, but apparent I have fat armpits?!
Am now desperately onto the cereal diet (have been all week) and have lost 3lb so far.
The shitting tea sounds interesting though, if I can't get my fat pits in the dress this weekend, I may invest in some...

Well don't on your additional 1lb OP, hopefully sheer willpower will help to shift the rest of the pounds!

That should be well done, not well don't, and I meant to say I was a 16 before (due to biscuits and cake)

I am a lb less today :)

Going to go for a run later.

And tomorrow I start the James Duncan diet, going to have to tweak it a bit as I am not buying steak. Not sure I like grapefruit much either, going to get pink grapefruit, when it says grapefruit does it just mean a half a grapefruit? It can't mean a whole one?!! I may substitute the odd grapefruit for some fruit salad.

I tried Slim & Save. I loved it at the time and the weight slipped off easily but I couldn't sustain it long term and I was so uncomfortable eating what felt like 'fake food'. Although i tried my best to convince myself otherwise, I always had a niggling voice saying how could any time of food that comes in a sachet as powder and needs reconstituting with water be healthy? Anyway, the real reason I'm bitching about it now is because I put the weight back on again plus some. I know it's my own fault for giving into the beck and call of chocolate but I felt like I wasted money on it.

Now on Atkins and have lost about half a stone in a week. DH lost half a stone in 3 days.

I'm also impatient when it comes to weight loss. I put my fingers into my ears when people say a pound a week is good and steady although I say it to my friends to keep their spirits up . Going to look up Scarsdale now.

Yes, it's definitely not sustainable long-term (and isn't meant to be). I don't think it's unhealthy per se - in fact I found out about this diet via the NHS website who say it's fine for people who fit certain criteria. By law these diets have to contain all necessary nutrients so I don't think it's that bad - it's just that fresh food must be better for you. I've been such an unhealthy weight that, for me, it's more important to get the weight off ASAP and then I will figure out how to maintain after that. I'm a bit worried about it (after all, if I found healthy eating that easy to do I wouldn't have got into this mess in the first place!) but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

So, so, funny OP. get a column or blog or something.

Thanks, cheapbread! Although your carb-laden name is taunting me...

Well done all my fellow losers on here! Mummyboo, is the dress from Zara? I find that shop has unfeasibly narrow armholes in its clothes. I have upper-arms that are disproportionately fat and fleshy. When I dance around in a sleeveless top, they look like two duvets being aired on a rotary dryer. :( At least you could get your arms through the holes! I have to buy batwing sleeves just to give myself a fighting chance.

I think the Save and Slim looks great. But meal-replacement diets are inherently flawed, aren't they? They don't teach you what actual food to eat long-term to stay slim. Yes, I know you can do the Lifestyle option where you eat a "healthy" meal in the evening, but I'd just be ordering a vegetarian lasagne.

BUT, this is the thread that celebrates Fast and Furious weight loss! So let's raise a glass of chemicals to anything that fills us up and pushes glycogen out of our livers!

I've done quite well today. I survived lunch at a new friend's house, where luckily she made chicken and veg and all I had to avoid was the (lovely, lovely) rice. The chicken was fried in olive oil but you know what? FUCK IT. Plus, she's a new friend I'm trying to cultivate so I couldn't waltz in there and demand smoked salmon on a bed of organic watercress. And she let me smoke 5 fags in her garden so I love her.

I also survived giving the kids tea. I only nibbled a tiny bit of a Potato Waffle, didn't eat any of the leftover fish-fingers (usually, I'm like a crack ho with these) and I only took a TINY swipe with a spoon of the unfinished ice-cream. I had already burst deliriously into the fridge about 3pm on a low-carb smash and grab raid of two - oh, OK, if you're going to go ON about it, maybe it was five - mini salami sausages SERIOUSLY THEY ARE THE SIZE OF A PEA and some of Dad's homemade pate.

Now I'm upstairs in my room chugging Full & Slim while mum and dad sit downstairs eating a takeaway curry. :(

Tonight is going to be hard. Fiancé is bringing steaks over, which he is going to have with chips and beer and I'm going to have with water. I'll have to have violent sex with him to burn something off.

I'm really, really hungry. I've worn my wetsuit all day, and gone on a long walk through the woods. This had bloody better work. I could kill.

I think the Save and Slim looks great. But meal-replacement diets are inherently flawed, aren't they? They don't teach you what actual food to eat long-term to stay slim.

No, you're quite right. You need something like WW for that. that's fine for me though as I know exactly howt to eat long-term to stay slim and I don't need to be taught - I just need to know how to stick to it :)

Ketosis will stop you being hungry - seriously it's like magic. But it takes about 3 days to get into ketosis. Have you tried Slim Rice? (From Holland & Barrett). Seriously gross but mixed in with something else it's bearable - just. It is virtually calorie-free.

NO! I have never ever heard of that!!!!!! Is it low-carb, or actual rice?

I used to love the 10 Calorie Soups they sold in Tescos about 100 years ago. The onion one was lush.

It's made from ground-up tree roots, or something. I tried it once and chucked it away- it's like chewing rubber bands, but when mixed in with something else - or when you're desperate - it can help :) It comes in either rice, noodles or pasta versions - I find the rice easier to eat.

Linky

Forgot to say, it's carb-free and virtually fat-free too.

This thread is hilarious!! Hope the diet works OP!!

No the dress is by little mistress, bought it from dotty p. I tried it on again today and have conceded defeat. There's no chance I'm going to be able to lose enough chest and armpit to fit in if properly in one week. I look like a gone-wrong sausage. :(
It's ok though, it's an excuse to do more shopping!
I don't know how I'll manage to get something else in time...

Cauliflower rice is your friend op.

Grate a cauliflower head, ding it in the microwave for 5 mins. Voila. Rice (ish)

Get the Hartleys sugar free jelly pots too- only 10 cals

OP, you say you lost 3 stone on the Scarsdale and a rate of a pound a day? Did I get that right?

I love this thread big only for the OP and everyone else's laugh out loud posts but also because it approves of quick fixes and recommends diets that everyone warns you off such as The Cabbage Soup diet. All the sensible people in my life disapprove of them so I'm so happy I've found kindred reckless spirits who are not so sensible.

*not (not big!)

Yes TheDiet, I feel like I've found My People here.

WhatsGoing I remember those 10 calorie soups adds to list. Did you really lose 1lb a day on Scarsdale? adds to list Slimming tea - check.

I love you too btw. I love all of you Diet Rebels.

My best diet was the being dumped one, lost a stone inside of a week. I was completely loony, very light-headed from the lack of food and the cigarettes and I had red-raw eyes from the sobbing, but apart from that I looked great...

This week I have cut out the booze and mostly not had bread. I feel incredibly virtuous and healthy. Quite how I haven't got a figure like the Paltrow with all this virtue is utterly beyond me.