How can I lose 10lbs before my holiday on, er, Monday?

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

In a panic. Was meant to start diet in May but one thing (or rather, one pizza) led to another and now I've got less than a week.

I'm 5'6" and look great at 9st 7. This morning I was 10st 11! Shiiiiiiiit!

What can I do? I really REALLY need to crash some of this off. I don't care if it's unhealthy, it's only for a few days and I can do it properly when I get home.

Any and all ideas MASSIVELY gratefully received. What are your tried and tested tricks? Thank you!

I think the slim teas say to have a maximum of 2 a day, due to the senna.

The detox tea I'm having has no restrictions due to not having laxitives in.

Whatsgoingon give him a bj just don't swallow, think of the calories hug and enjoy your holiday!

Scarlett get some Epsom salts.
Have you tried spanx with the dress?

Oooh what does Epsom salts do? I always thought it was something Victorian men waved under the noses of faint ladies...

Oh and yes well remembered with the fat pants suggestion, I will dig them out. Not going to try it on again until Thursday.

@ Allmyhopeisgone - you must bring your sense of humour next time . Arf.

Oh the memories: the Scarsedale diet, my first ever diet! I skipped the bread -it's what got me in trouble in the first place. :)

Thank you for this thread, it got me googling how many calories do you burn laughing. @1.3 calories a minute laughing burns more than my situp machine and my tummy muscles feel tighter already!

I lost 5lbs this week, and I am sorely tempted by shitters tea, but not for the next few days, we're going camping at the weekend, I don't want the tent to take off in a high wind...

My dumped diet had me eating 4oz of hummus and a packet of Square Crisps or Discos every day for MONTHS. Nothing else. No wonder I lost 3 stone in about 2 months. God, I looked good!

. Arf.
What do you mean by this?
I know you think I'm being a spoilsport, I've just known too many people who have died from eating disorders to find it funny. I just want people to stay safe.

@allmyhope - this is a light hearted thread which surely must be obvious, no? I'm glad to hear that you are merely trying to save us from ourselves. .

Ladies, i was just having a read of the comments on the James Duncan site and comment number 24 is interesting. It's another medical diet but only for 3 days. Has ice cream an' all. Might help for getting into a dress, motivate etc.

Did anyone read on one of the links, i think it linked to a nutritionist, who analysed the 15% of people who didn't regain weight after dieting and they'd been the ones on the crash diets.

I was thinking how unprofitable it would be for the diet industry if people were losing weight rapidly, changing their eating habits and keeping it off.

More Cava, anyone?

catthief I have a colonic about four years ago. I found it rally uncomfortable and dint do that much for me. I like colax colon cleanse tablets for bloat. They are preferable to the colonics.

Er.. Sorry for spellings

Well, I think I can safely say that Lucas & I will not be getting on the scales tomorrow.

We have had a great night out with some other MN friends, and are now a large Cuban sharing platter, several mojitos and a couple of champagne cocktails down.

Oops !

1.1kgs down in 2 days. Hurrah!

Aaaargh!

I am 2lb heavier this morning. It's that bloody wine from Saturday isn't it?

Right. I am going shopping for the Scarsdale diet tonight.

Cat don't weigh yourself if you're due on, or having your period. Wait until you're finished.
I can weigh several pounds heavier that week and have come to realise that it's not worth the stress.

Well done Fox.

Lucky I know, logically, that you are right, however the deadline is looming and it is all I can do not to weigh myself more than once a day at the moment!

I've ordered Footner, as my feet are like Rhino hide since I've worn nothing but flip flops for the past 3 months. There must be at least half a stone of dry skin, just on my feet.

Not that that is going to help me zip the sodding dress up, but it will make me feel better!

Where's op this morning? I bet she's got a stinking hangover. Diets and alcohol don't mix too well. bitter experience

Morning all

No weight loss but no gain either.

Just two kids today. Yay!

Have done all the washing and now labelling all DD's new uniform. Will take hours on past experience.

Ok Cat, you've got loads of time left anyway.

I really want some diet coke.
I'm distracting myself by having another Epsom salts bath, whilst drinking some detox tea [hardcore]

I had a splurge yesterday and ate around 10 dates. (I lurrrrve dates) They're high in sugar and carbs so that's my Atkins out of the window. Phew! Kinda feel relieved. Then I had a bowl of carby lentil and barley soup. I decided I couldn't face another eggy breakfast so need another diet option to keep me going before my Scarsdale book arrives. So many mentioned here I'm spoilt for choice.

Found a solution for the plaudough waist: waist training corsets!
Add slendertone shorts and armbands and all body should be sorted.

*plaudough=playdough
plau= reminds me of the deep lines left after ploughing, so 'plaudough waist' might be more accurate for some of us!

Loving this thread!! Starting today, have a wedding in three weeks and need to fit into the dress I bought 3 wks ago and was fab on me and tried it in last night and the rolls of fat coming out was horrendous! I've ordered the scarsfield diet book but until it arrives I'll be doing half starvation mode! Enjoy the pangs everyone!!

Rumble Rumble, I'll say no more. Glugging the sparkling water, finding the tesco's Clearview brand strangely addictive. It's no diet coke but it'll do.

I didn't weigh this morning I'm going for the delayed gratification and a 2 stone off in 5 days approach. just kidding for the humour deficient among us

Hey everyone
I'm new to mn and haven't properly posted before but I've been following this thread and it's had me in stitches so I thought id stop lurking and say hello.
I have a wedding to go to in 16 days. I'm currently 5ft 6 (not planning on changing that!) and about 11st 8. This time past year due to stress I was 9st 10 ish! I would ideally like to be about 10st but not sure that's possible in 16 days. Just under 11 would be good. I'm thinking of trying the cabbage soup diet (heaves at very thought). What do you think?

Oh OP nice to have you back briefly, am sure he still loves you and your scales. Will be fine. Just relax and enjoy your holiday, we are all with you in spirit low cal ones obvs.

Arf Deux at love me love my scales/third person in this marriage

Good news though 5lbs OFF! Yay! Onwards and downwards.