How can I lose 10lbs before my holiday on, er, Monday?

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

In a panic. Was meant to start diet in May but one thing (or rather, one pizza) led to another and now I've got less than a week.

I'm 5'6" and look great at 9st 7. This morning I was 10st 11! Shiiiiiiiit!

What can I do? I really REALLY need to crash some of this off. I don't care if it's unhealthy, it's only for a few days and I can do it properly when I get home.

Any and all ideas MASSIVELY gratefully received. What are your tried and tested tricks? Thank you!

I'll get some Pukka Detox tea too. Having a double-strength ShitterTea last night didn't do much - I must've developed an immunity. I woke up with a headache (dehydration?) but I've only just slithered used the bathroom.

What's your worst crash-diet confession? Mine is probably listening to those news stories last year about anorexia websites sharing horrifically unhealthy weight-loss tips, and thinking, "Ooh! I'll read those, brilliant."

Inspirational!

I'm going in for the kill with Scarsdale today. Naked on the scales this morning and it read 11 stone 12 and 3/4 pounds. moment of silence please

My worst was eating a bag of cini-minis cereal in a day. That was all I ate, 300g of the cinnamon feckers. I lost a pound

There was the idea there that eating just 1 food would somehow magic the fat away. Could have been to do with the fact I only took in about 300g of food.

Love this thread!!

I want to loose 9 lbs in 3 weeks - reakon I can do it?

Must buy this shitters tea....Only thing is I hate the tatse of tea, please say it dosn't taste like real tea?

Okay - I need to:
drink shitters tea - how many cups per day?
Drink lots of water
avoid carbs
not eat much

sound about right?

Yay! Hurrah to the losers! I'm 1.5 lbs down.

to WhatsGoing. I'm fine thank you. ECG was fine. What I thought was a heart attack was pain in my shoulder from carting a shoulder bag full of sweeties Evian around.

I'm off to Holland and Barrett for some Proper ShitterTea.

Let's catch up later with Crash Diet Confessions. I might have to name change for that.

Happy holidays!

Happy holidays OP.

Having read the full thread, I've just nominated it for Classics - funniest, friendliest thread I've seen for ages, and impressive commitment to flying in the face of conventional wisdom all round!

I'm a similar height and weight to you OP, and was getting a bit despondent with slow-but-steady weight loss so it's good to have some other dubious options: wine and egg diet in particular sounds promising, maybe combined with cleansing shitting tea and epsom salts bath... we shall see.

foxinabox - I missed your post. Sorry to hear you have had depression too. It is such a wicked thing and after having PND three times and AND once the hospital doctor said I will have to be on medication for life. I am not on it now but couldn't manage without the stuff I get from Holland & Barrett suggested by my GP.

Zucker you and me are about the the same. I was 12 0.2 this morning. I am 5 foot 6 ish.

Marking place.
I get married early September and last weeks breakfasts included a burger with a can of pepsi, and 2 chocolate éclairs washed down with a litre of banana milkshake.

Oh yay You're my first ever diet buddy Itsfab I'm 5 foot 7, sure we're practically diet twins

Let's do this!

My tea

Got this tea, I like the more direct approach than the coy slimmers tea. Hardcore is todays word.

I survived the service station. Everyone else had McDonalds but I had tomato/basil soup, water, black coffee and I have an emergency banana! Hardcore.

Wow, Zucker. That tea is indeed hardcore. Are you prepared for the, er, fallout? I wouldn't risk a cup of that without one of those red button "she knows help is coming" things.

Right, feeling well enough to post now.

Do not do the wine and egg thing, I was burping the smell of rotten eggs all day yesterday, felt queasy but couldn't be sick, then got on the scales to find I had put on a bastard pound!

I am back to fruit for breakfast, zero point soup/salad for lunch and tonight I am having a jacket potato with a small amount of Spag Bol on top.

Have also come on though, which could account for the weight gain I suppose.

I have 43 days until I go on holiday, 48 until I get into the wedding dress.

I currently weigh 11.11lb, and want to get down to 10.6.

Does nobody make ShittersCoffee?

Ooh that tea looks scary!

I'm crap, I've had crumpets for lunch and a yum yum

I'll go hardcore in a few days.

Now... Has anyone considered a colonic?

Howling at this thread. Best thing I've ready years. What are the sachets that have been spoken of? F and F or were they S and S?

I am having cottage cheese - good - and cream crackers - bad - for lunch. While making dinner - coronation chicken - I had 2 pieces of chicken, one with sauce, a slice of gammon and a tiny mouthful of brownie.

DS1 is beyond help. At PIL. Told him to shut his drawers, clear out down the side of his bed and bring down his washing before we went. Just tried to pack for him to stay over. No jobs done. Clothes in wrong drawers. He had my shorts, DH's jeans and DS2's underpants in his drawers too. No underwear until I unearthed one pair in the wrong drawer. One pair on line, none in the washer. I know he has 6 pairs minimum. Yep, down the side of the bed just after I had put the wash on . He likes clean pants and PJs every night and clean pants every morning. Annoying but fine as I wash daily but now he only has 2 clean pairs and I have had to put the drier on to dry one of those. Surely no one would convict me.

43 days Cat?

plenty of time.

Zucker I saw that tea when I went in but was a Big Jessie and bought this one instead. As recommended by SlitheryPooSis.

And Cat that's practically a lifetime. You've got a g e s. You'll be like a skelf.

A two egg scrambled concoction so far. The Tea that has thus far not even raised a gurgle and I am waiting for my beef and pearl barley soup to become edible rather than chunks of concrete.

Woe is meeeeeeeee

I'm prepared. Did the shopping earlier on so don't really have to eave the house for the next 24 hours really. I should be okay famous last words Bought lots of green leafy type stuff and some tinned fruit.

Tinned is the only way in this house as all fruit goes to die in our fruit bowl. The plan is to whizz the fruit into a smoothie for breakfasts.

43 days! People will mistake you for Kate moss in that time Cat

A colonic? now its my turn to be a Big Jessie. I just couldn't so the mad tea is as close as it's going to get.

I'll waft the smell of fennel tea in your direction fox that'll keep your spirits up.