How can I lose 10lbs before my holiday on, er, Monday?

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

In a panic. Was meant to start diet in May but one thing (or rather, one pizza) led to another and now I've got less than a week.

I'm 5'6" and look great at 9st 7. This morning I was 10st 11! Shiiiiiiiit!

What can I do? I really REALLY need to crash some of this off. I don't care if it's unhealthy, it's only for a few days and I can do it properly when I get home.

Any and all ideas MASSIVELY gratefully received. What are your tried and tested tricks? Thank you!

Itsfab, you're lovely. How old is your youngest? Could you have PND? Is everything ok with your DH? Is there more to this than food?

WhatsGoing I know you'll be packing your scales and shit but this quite frankly is WAY more important.

Did I get the right Shitter Tea from bastard Tesco? It was all they had. Well they had Pukka Detox as well but I was all light headed from lack of sustenance.

Do I need these gummy bears? Just in case? When I failed at low carbing I heard they sort of moved things along so to speak.

And Trills I love The Shitty Food Diet.

I love all of you - I love that there are no chastisements or admonishments on this thread. Just good old quick fix, crash diet, all in this together advice.

Nooooo Itsfab don't despair, I've felt like this ALL day despite this fabulous thread filled with like minded people. It just seems insurmountable at times, I used to look lovely and now I feel like such a fat pig. I want to wake up in the morning my old self but it might just take a little longer. Like a week.

But we are all in this together, same goal and we'll have a laugh along the way.

Sending

I've had the Pukka detox tea and it's really nice.
It's aniseed, fennel and something else.
Dh complained that it stank.
But nothing's happened yet...

I've now got the Pukka lavender night time tea christ I'm getting old
I've gone cold turkey on diet coke today and I'm hoping it'll help.
Dh is complaining again about the smell he's such a pussy!

Tonight I had 1.5 hard-boiled eggs with a very dry, undressed salad. Then I packed my holiday clothes. I've gone for Slimming Black, with a good few maxi dresses thrown in.

I've found what is going to be my Victory Dress. It's a v-neck column, black, with a gold belt, and has a thigh-level slash up the front. (I'd say it's more tasteful than it sounds, but it's not.) It's flattering if you've got the right undies on. Sadly, I tried it on just after I'd had my eggs, wearing a too-tight thong. I had two guts bulging out the front. A double-gunter. :( However, that'll be the dress that I wear joyfully when they cart me off to the Eating Disorder clinic to force-feed me through a tube.

This diet is making me grumpy - anyone else?

Packing food for the (self-catering) holiday is hard. I've packed ShittersTea (risky; only 1 bathroom for 6 people), two tiny tins of tuna, tinned grapefruit, salad, a giant bar of Fruit & Nut and a six-pack of Walkers. And a bottle of whiskey. And Spanx.

If I include my sports bra and my trainers, will I start every morning with a jog around the park? I won't, will I? Bollocks.

NellVarnish Yes, that's the tea! Cheers! It's not the realllllly shitty, slithery I've my cousin had (that was this) but it's the mild Colonic Cleanse in a Cup.

That reminds me - must pack loo rolls.

DH is brilliant and no problems there other than not enough time alone like everyone.

I have had PND 3 times and will always have an element of depression.

I just feel frustrated. I was bright at school, had lots of friends and then I moved abroad, couldn't go back home, bought a flat and got some friends then got married, had a baby, moved and had no friends. People who did talk to me soon stopped once I told them I had PND and it has been all about the kids since. They have no real friends, we have no one to have around and I have just become really anti social and a home bird. I am a published writer ffs yet can't get myself motivated to do anything meaningful other than to cook .

I am off to bed now but tomorrow I will try and be jolly.

Enjoy your holiday, Whats we will miss your posts!!

Lavender tea sounds AMAZING. Where can I buy that?

Bahahaha at Colonic Cleanse in a Cup

Sleep well Itsfab

I'm deliberating whether to have a ShitterTea™ before bed as I'm going to the docs in the morning for fasting bloods and an ECG.

Not sure if it's a wise move or not.

Nell - that sounds intense. Are you ok? (I guess that's what you're going to find out.) Massive hug! Fasting blood tests are a GREAT way to lose weight so I hope you booked yours for 6pm. :)

ShitterTea is always a good idea. I think the worst that'll happen is:

1. You have to get up at 3am to pee;
2. You wake up with a headache (dehydration);
3. The world falls out of your arse in the clinic waiting room loo.
4. While everyone else listens.

I'd have one after the docs Nell, just incase.

The lavender tea was amazing. I got mine from sainsburys.

Hope you have a fabulous holiday whatsgoingon
And please update us when you get back.

for Itsfab

Itsfab - could you write about your depression? Start a PND blog? Become the go-to person on PND, link to new research, blog about your own experiences, get replies and feedback, eventually write a best-selling book on the topic and have people naming their babies after you?

LuckySaint - I'm on a Diet Coke withdrawal too. It gets easier. That's probably what caused my headaches.

I'm going to miss you lot on holiday!!! Don't all fall by the weigh-in side (sorry) and get lured back in to the Healthy Eating Habits cults. No portion-control and exercise, I forbid them! It's grapefruit, Chablis and eggs ALL the way.

Having finally remembered my password, I can de-lurk and appear to wish OP a wonderful holiday & also to say that, as a seasoned crash dieter, I have loved this thread. Can we continue it even when OP is away? This is a somewhat selfish request as I am off on holiday next Saturday & could do with magically losing 4lbs before then. I have lost 6lbs in the last three weeks so am not going to have that immediate water loss to inspire me but the humour & random tips on here may be enough to keep me on the straight & narrow this week.
Slightly horrified by the Scarsdale recommended weight. I haven't been the upper limit for my height for 20 years. It is so far away for healthy BMI tables.

Thanks, Laundry! I hope you all DO continue the bad good work on here next week. I'm not going far away so I'll be checking in.

I've just had a double-strength ShitterTea - I might regret this...

@ItsFab Whatsgoingon's idea is a good one. Start a blog and link a twitter account. If you wanted to, you could pm us on here with a twitter link and we could find you some followers! I get depression (and am a published writer!) so understand a little. The lethargy gets me mostly.

Anyway JOY today, JOY. Lost .7kg since yesterday morning. Shitters Tea and mild starvation work! 1.5lbs!

TEN STONE SIX

Yay @ Foxy! 1.5lbs is awesome! All hail the magical tea of Shitter!

at babies named after me.

Just quickly as got an appointment but I have lost 0.8 of a pound!! A loss is a loss, yes???

And there is one baby in the world named after me already. A friend names his first born after me. Later it transpired everyone thought we were having an affair! . We were not!

A loss is definitely a loss! Well done you!!!

so 7lb in 4 days? That is incredible. I bow down to you, oh Crash Diet Goddess.

Enjoy your holiday!

Yay! Well done Itsfab

I can highly recommend Pukka detox tea as the shitters tea mkII.

Also, I forgot to suggest my favourite fast bloat loss trick, which is an Epsom salts bath (it's brilliant for period bloat)
You can buy it from most pharmacies (I get large boxes of it from Amazon)
You need the magnesium sulphate type for bathing (there's a different type for ingesting)
And you need to use a couple of handfuls in the bath, but it works.
I've just put a pint of it in my bath desperate

An Epsom salts bath! I've always meant to do that. THANK YOU for the tip. We can crash off weight from the inside and the outside simultaneously.

7lbs is good, isn't it?! My liver must've been RAMMED with glycogen.

I know it's only a temporary loss but I feel so good! I slept in my St Tropez Express tan last night so I've woken up radiant (maybe slightly Tango radiant) and I'm skipping around trying on clothes that still don't fit because it's only liver-weight, but I'm so happy I started this thread. I would never have stuck to this without all of you.

GROUP BONY HUG