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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

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Original poster

BigMoFos Week 13

404 replies

WigWamBam · 03/08/2006 13:32

New thread ...

OP posts:

MrsJohnCusack · 03/08/2006 16:19

sue you are so wise & sensible
I just wanted to point out that plenty of people want to 'do' people who aren't slim too (and some of those people are pretty yummy)!

suejonez · 03/08/2006 16:19

hmmm, does that all sound a bit harsh on reflection?

Think before posting Jones, think before posting...

suejonez · 03/08/2006 16:24

oh yes MrsJC, I forgot to brag about my many (slim) admirers over the years! Sadly none on the horizon just now though . D'you think I could cope with a tumultuous relationship at the moment?

MrsJohnCusack · 03/08/2006 16:26

lislou · 03/08/2006 16:29

i knew i was going to get that kind of responce from one of you ofcourse i did!i need to know how u feel.i need to know what i have done to him.he cant tellme clearly .he struggles putting it into words.i have taken the flack for what i did a bit more wont hurt.i understand the way u feel bout it but im trying to sort it out.if that means i get shouted at on a chat site then so be it.just remember im not judging u .im sure none of u are perfect and people make mistakes everymin of everyday and im one of them.x

Original poster

WigWamBam · 03/08/2006 16:30

You're not over-reacting, sue. I felt pretty much the same way.

Being fat doesn't mean being unattractive. It may not be what you like to see, but beauty - real beauty - comes from inside. What you love about your husband, the essence of him, is more than what the scales say ... or at least it should be. Thank God my dh isn't so shallow as to think that my weight changes the person that I am so much that it would entitle him to have an affair and entitle him to blame me for it.

I am lucky in that I know my dh loves me very much. He loves my mind, he loves my soul, he loves my sense of humour, he loves my intelligence, he loves my childishness, he loves the things that make me me. Maybe I'm lucky that he can see that I am not defined purely by my weight, but I would like to think that most people are capable of seeing past their partner's size and seeing the person underneath. What would you think about us if you met us? You must be aware that there are some of us on this thread who are as heavy as your dh - when you talk about him you are talking about us.

I am angry that you have said those things on this thread. A thread full of women who are large, a thread full of people who are just like your dh, a thread full of people who are desperate for others to judge them on who they are and not what they look like or what size they are. I feel judged, and I don't like that on this thread.

Am going to cool off now. Sorry if I've been harsh but I am really, really angry.

OP posts:

lislou · 03/08/2006 16:32

im off then .never mind u lot.thanks anyway i think.

lislou · 03/08/2006 16:37

in my defence i would just like to say that i never judge anyone except smelly people.i was desperatley unhappy in my marriage thats why i cheated.i was happy to marry him big but not to live the way i was with him.there were other issues,just like all relationships.the weight is something we need to change for his health and our kids.i dont want u to misunderstand.i didnt mean to belittle u in anyway and im sorry if thats the impression u got.

suejonez · 03/08/2006 16:38

Sorry - didn't think I was shouting at you. To be blunt I was (and am) more concerned with your post hurting others on here than in having a go at you or how you feel about it.

My father stated that he left my mother because she was fat (which was a lie anyway but I didn't know that at the time) so that kind of comment is bound to be very raw for me.

I would happily discuss with you how your husband might be feeling and indeed why you can't see past his weight problem to the man he is, but I think perhaps not on this particular thread.

I don't think anyone one here is at all judgemental, we are all far too insecure to think that anyone else is ever at fault - we often think many things are our fault. And I suspect deep down thats what your husband thinks too. Why don't you start up a new thread and link it here, I'll gladly give you my input wihtout being in the slightlest judgemental.

MrsJohnCusack · 03/08/2006 16:39

I think there has been quite a lot of useful advice on here for your husband and you and I hope you can take that away.
I suspect there is a bit more going on than just his weight in your marriage - things are rarely that black and white. hope you can manage to sort it out.

suejonez · 03/08/2006 16:42

sorry but lol at "i never judge anyone except smelly people".

Can I explain why I found that hilariously funny - nope. But I did!

MrsJohnCusack · 03/08/2006 16:45

oh god I wanted to say that but was being VERY careful

is completely hilarious.

hub2dee · 03/08/2006 16:46

Formula milk, the Middle East, now even bigmofos gets heated.

Cor blimey.

2 pounds lost at WW weigh in. That was over two weeks 'healthy eating' though as I missed the last class. Long may it continue.

I used to belong to that gym in Richmond, sj 'Twas quite nice, but not nice enough to keep me going there, LOL !!!!! (We're now not living in Richmond).

MrsJohnCusack · 03/08/2006 16:48

for hub

am still laughing though....

lislou · 03/08/2006 16:48

well where i live there is people who smell dead bad!u know like they have no bathrooms in thier houses.wee and poo and chip fat...u knoe what i mean.gross!!!!!!my mum told me that my dad had killed himself when i was 11.i dont want to have to tell my kids that there dad has gone too.i distanced myself from him cos he didnt seem to care what he was doing to me by not understanding how strongly i felt about that.i see the maninside now.i want to keep him and i want to want,to be with him.he loves me .but if i had a drink problem that was destroying him i would expect him to tell me how it affected him and that something had to be done.so we can all move forward.hope thats a bit clearer now.

hub2dee · 03/08/2006 16:52

total loss 18 1/2 pounds. 2 1/2 more and I get a silver seven sticker (pmsl).

suejonez · 03/08/2006 16:53

OOh well done hub2dee - how much have you lost so far?

I agree "that" gym is not that posh (which suits me fine) - did you ever watch one of our aqua classes ?

suejonez · 03/08/2006 16:59

lislou - you sound like you need to go to Relate for counselling.

Your husband is welcome to join us here if you can persuade him as the main point of this group is to support people in their weight loss. I hope you have found what has been said helpful - even WWB's should give you some idea of how your husband thinks, but you aren't going to get any more insight from us, only him. Get some counselling together, it will be much more helpful to you both.

hub2dee · 03/08/2006 17:06

Don't worry, sj... I was a member about 8 years ago ! And no, I never saw a water aerobics class, LOL.

suejonez · 03/08/2006 17:07

you should have, we are quite impressive

suejonez · 03/08/2006 17:12

hub - did you know that you have been charged with being more good-looking than Happydaddy?

MrsJohnCusack · 03/08/2006 17:12

I LOVE aqau-aerobics
I should be going
do you know sue, I think you're having a good effect on me because I'm considering doing it now! (once I get some 2nd trimester energy - no chance at the moment)

suejonez · 03/08/2006 17:12

Are you hiding your light under a bushel?

suejonez · 03/08/2006 17:13

Is there one l or two in bushel/bushell?

hub2dee · 03/08/2006 17:13

Yes, by a charming rodent no less ! Maybe mice see things different to most people ?

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