A secret binge eater

[hurried]

I am seeking, rather than offering advice. I have to be honest, if I could I would eat all day, and I will often have large amounts of carbs in one sitting. I put my toddler in the car today to drive myself us to a local shop to buy carbs- I have nothing against carbs, I haven't been trying to avoid them, I just started on my child's breakfast biscuits this morning and went into a frenzy, finishing off the whole pack. I was stuffing them as soon as I brought them. I looked in the mirror and saw my child watching me. I felt so ashamed and thought I would be so embarrassed if anyone saw me.

Today was a terrible day. My son has had chicken pox and both been in all week and suddenly it got to me. I can't talk to my GP about this, and I don't have friends that wouldn't judge me for this. So I am seeking support here x

Willie tell me some more about the pain - when do you get it?

Do you think the cramps could be IBS? I get them when very stressed.

That's where I was going Milly - in addition to general stress in your life, if you eat in a rush or feeling like you shouldn't be eating something, then this will create a stress response in your body - impairing digestive and metabolic processes and raising cortisol and insulin. Not only often resulting in stomach pain but also weight gain. Talkin's step by step advice re eating mindfully should be applied if you suspect this may be the case Willie. See what happens with the pain .

Thank you for the compliment Sleep.....and I was actually asking "you" if you thought it was IBS. .

no no, this was ages ago and it's all in hand now, thanks, and not related to eating

i'm actually stable wrt eating as i'm a longterm low carber (see upthread), which has worked (for me) in terms of normalising my behaviours. it's not a cure for disordered eating, but it reduces the physiological blood sugar highs/lows which can make things worse

now i'm working on the mental health side

Hi everyone,

I've read some very interesting articles on line about your intestine having similar primitive functions to your brain. It might explain some of the compulsions to just keep eating. If you have time on your hands I would advise googling 'intestine second brain'.

After reading the articles I feel the sense of guilt has been alleviated and somewhat replaced by acceptance that our bodies can get addicted to these carby/sugary foods and once we are equipped with the knowledge as to why and how the body reacts we can then control the impulses.

Yes the Intestine is indeed your second brain.

Hurried can I ask since you started this wonderful thread and having been given many thoughts, ideas, books and websites to help, what have you taken onboard that you will try and what steps have you taken to begin, if you don't mind me asking

There are some wonderfully supportive and understanding words on this thread.

I agree mollydoggerson that since I have done some reading about the metabolism of macronutrients it does alleviate some of the 'beating oneself up' thoughts

Willie are you the lady who keeps the scores on the low carb thread??

I am milly, and although it works for me for now as a way of eating, I am cautious about recommending it for everyone who has disordered eating behaviours because I do agree with you about the dangers of 'dieting' in this situation. Also, there is a risk that it could become another mechanism for restricting/controlling food. Also I would hate to say this way would work for everyone because it might not do and god knows we beat ourselves up for 'failing' enough already!

However, as we've all said, reducing the sugars and increasing the fat and protein really help with regulation the blood sugars, so the lovely meal suggestions posted earlier look great.

Sorry hurried, I feel like I've taken over the thread a bit! Hope things are going ok today

You do a wonderful job Willie.....I lower my carbs when I'm having an IBS attack as it stops a lot of the pain, wind and cramps associated with it but I couldn't do it hardcore as it triggers feelings of deprivation and punishment within me and that leads to sadness for doing that to myself and then a mini overeat just to taste all the things I have restricted. I do eat more high protein lower carb instinctively but will have amazing good quality home made cake or biscuits if I want them.

That sounds like a really sensible approach milly as you clearly have a good understanding of your triggers and your thought processes - sorry about the IBS though, it sounds rotten

Thanks Willie

Really interesting thread. So much sharing, caring and ideas...

I compulsively overeat too. Have tried everything including all sorts of talking therapy. I have low self-esteem linked to emotionally unavailable Dad.

My latest attempt at stopping binging is to stop binging and replace with something else. I looked a number of youtube videos from people talking about how they have overcome overeating and the thing they all had in common was the fact they'd replaced the binging with something. Whether or not that was to feel the uncomfortable feelings that I tend to eat/squash down or literally do something else, they all said you need to choose to do something else.

Sounds simple I know, but not sure until now I have ever believed that I could actually choose to stop. I always assumed I would need to find "the answer" (eg feel better about myself) and in return the binging would stop.

I know what my triggers are - a voice in my head saying I haven't done x well enough, or I need to do more of y - so I am trying to challenge the thoughts too when I feel the need to overeat.

Another thing that came across in the various videos was about trying to tackle one thing at a time. So for now I am trying to forget the need to
lose weight and focus on overcoming the binging. I am trying to have 3 normal meals a day (so average portion, with a pudding if I want one - diets are a cycle of deprivation/binge for me) and 3 snacks of fruit.

I do think low carb/GI would also help me, but I cannot cope with that and trying to stop binging too for now.

It is early days but I am enjoying marking in my diary each day that is binge-free. I have never taken such a close note before, I feel like that is a good thing to do.

Good luck to everybody on this thread. It really is a horrible secret world that is really damaging.

The links I found useful - toomuchonherplate.com/melissa-mccreery/

PS. Any Jessie Pavelka fans (I see he was mentioned up thread) might like to know he is doing PAs and some workshop things in the UK. They are ££££ but you get to spend time with the lovely Jessie! www.pavelka.co.uk/pavelka-day.pdf

Err is it binging or bingeing???

Its "bingeing* lol.

With regards to dealing with the bingeing you are right to not even think of dieting.....yet then you immediately start thinking about doing low carb/GI.... You have mentioned everything that might be responsible for your bingeing except the diets themselves and depriving yourself food and eating when you are hungry.
Do you think you could stop dieting totally and start eating like a slim person does, ie they eat when they really are truly hungry and stop as soon as they have had enough and its usually not a lot. They also buy any foods they want as well as fruit and veg. I used to find that the minute I thought about going on a new diet it would give me a high and that this would be the diet that will work but by the second day I would be craving foods that I cant have or eating portions more than I needed. The diet mentality is what caused it. Now I eat totally normally and never gain weight but eat anything I want and NO bingeing.

i agree with 'bingeing' milly, but oddly my spellcheck prefers 'binging'!

it's all very exhausting. it's only food fgs but it's so bloody hard sometimes

I know Willie, its just food. God how did it all become so messed up that most of the western world tries every way they can to avoid it. Its seriously mixed up isn't it.

Milly I was quite cross with you upthread for asking why I didn't binge in front of DH - I thought it was so obvious and wondered why you'd even ask. BUT what you say in your recent posts makes so much sense re mindful eating. I have been reading about this, about trying to properly identify hunger, eat mindfully when hungry until satisfied and then stop. I am trying very hard to implement it but it's a struggle! Bit of a car 'episode' on Monday...

I too found 5:2 didn't work - I binged hugely on eating days. It intensified my already massive obsession with food which is what I am trying to cut out.

And hi Willie, as a drop-out from the LC boards I know you struggle with the same things I do, you gave wonderful advice when I was trying it out (another failed attempt...), so thank you.

Im so sorry Heir.....I had no intention to offend. I just wanted to hear your answer and if it was that you were hiding your eating because you felt you couldn't be seen to be eating cakes etc in front of him then maybe that is what you need to start doing. Eating things you binge on in front of him buy trying to do it in a mindful way. Maybe in the beginning you will end up eating one or two or whatever slices of cake say, but eventually when you see that he doesn't leave you or think you ugly for doing it and even laughs with you then maybe it would help to start to be more normal around food and the eating of it

I think I would spend the money just to sniff Jessie

Heir what about trying some overeating hypnosis cds. They are supposed to work on your subconscious. Cant hurt. They do work for me but that is just me. I think im very suggestive to these things.

I know I go on about this but in the book "Overcoming Overeating" it says that you have to legitimise ALL food and the quantities of it. You need to always have all the foods you want where you want them. In the kitchen or the car. You must always have a supply of these foods in order to normalise your eating and it must always be the very best versions. Not low carb or low sugar or low cal but the very best that you love not for sharing mind, just for you. Get even extra if you want those you live with to have some too.

Just googled Jessie Molly mmmmm he is rather a dish isn't he. Sniffing him would definitely stop one eating I would imagine. Lol...