Paul McKenna would be so proud of us on THREAD 9...No Pain, NO PAIN!! The Non Diet for those who really want to lose weight. No calories, no syns, no humiliation, just shedding stones amongst friends.

[Solo]

The Golden Rules that will aid you on your journey with our like minded support system:

1. Eat what you WANT
2. Eat when you are HUNGRY
3. Eat CONSCIOUSLY
4. STOP eating when you are satisfied and full

This weight loss system is about re-educating your body; learning to listen to it and in doing so losing weight and inches. So forget diets; they may work for a while, but they aren't permanent solutions. This is a new way of living for your brand new life!!

The Paul McKenna system works and is easy to maintain.

I've C&P'd our previous threads links as they are helpful.

Here are the book choices on AMAZON which is all you need to get started! they aren't compulsory, but they do help! it's something to refer to and listening to the cd's can really focus you.

This is the tapping technique EXPLAINED - this can be useful to combat cravings.

Please feel free to join us, whether it's 10lbs or 10 stones you want to lose.
We are friendly, supportive and successful, but we're not hungry OH NO we're not!!! so come on in and start living your new life today!

just posted and it went

just so fucked off lost it with ds1 shouting at hiom and he yelled back at me my fm is playing up my toe is annoying me now and i am just so fiucked off that i can't do anything right ,my house is amess the kids are out of control i can't oise wieght, i can't feed us tonight properly as ds1 left he freezer open an dnow th cat has opised onthe flor aghain

sorry to hear she's back in hospital :( but glad to hear she should be out soon.
Fab deep breaths and work out your priorities, the house can wait, even worrying about food can wait. Get dinner sorted and the cat pee cleaned up then run and hide try to take a few minutes for yourself.

I am eating chocolate and drinking wine

DH is going to make bacon sarnies.

I wish I had a mum .

Oh Kinky - That isn't good. What a shame all your lovely plans went pear shaped. Here's hoping your DD gets better quickly and she can come out on Tuesday.

Fab - Sometimes I just want to switch your brain off for you. I mean that in the nicest possible way, of course. You just seem to think about things too much. I used to be like that myself. In my case though I ended up off my food and slim. Its only since I got better at not over thinking and being too anxious that I have put on the weight.

Anyway, it feels to me like you just need a rest from whatever is going on in your head. Give yourself a break and stop trying so hard and beating yourself up. When was the last time you had a good laugh or just enjoyed yourself doing something for fun or had some time not thinking about all your supposed failings and everything you are doing wrong? Don't be so unkind to yourself. Give yourself a break woman!!

I went to clinical psychologist for a while whilst I was in my anxious but slim period of my life, many years ago now. I don't know if you remember the Toffee Crisp advert but, after several weeks of hearing me listing all my supposed failings, she said that what I really needed to do was to follow the advice in the ad and 'release the crispy bits'. In other words lighten up and have some fun. It worked for me... eventually. I got a bit of balance back in my life. So, enjoy your wine, enjoy your bacon sarnie and your chocolate and remember tomorrow is another day and stop beating yourself up!!!!

Faith - sorry about your BFN I will be keeping my fingers crossed for the BFP very soon.

BBB . I did hesitate about posting as i have been flamed a lot but I was just so so desperate and sad. I can't ever switch off as there is always something else to worry about. For example, on Friday in the spaceof 10 minutes I discovered the freezer had been left open (loads of food had to be binned) to some really upsetting legal news. Then I was poorly yesterday afternoon and this morning. It is just one thing after another.

Wow there have been a lot of posts since I posted yesterday. This thread is like a bus, nothing for a while then non-stop

Im feeling a lot better now and have stopped being sick yey. I haven't stopped PM-ing, I was just throwing up and unable to eat so essentially I was fasting yesterday and Im just hoping it wont mean that whatever Ive eaten today or what I will tomorrow will just be stored as fat incase of another fasting.

fab BBB said you think about things too much, so do I. You are certainly not alone there. I over think everything and analyse everything. Its awful and I know I need to stop, but its hard. Hope you feel better soon.

faith sorry about your BFN, I only remember too well what they are like.

kinky Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Don't worry about binging today, remember tomorrow's another day. Hope you feel better soon.

Rusmum Hi. I always fall asleep too. I am getting to the stage where Im awake a bit more, but I still find myself asleep at some point. All of a sudden i hear the 3, 2, 1 and I think wow I missed it again. Its obviously the effect its meant to have as most people on here have had the same response.

Anyway off to bed now, and ready for more PMing tomorrow. Hope you all have a good week :)

Morning All sorry to sound so upbeat after yr sad post Kinky it 's 'cos we cross posted!! The upbeatness didn't last long for you though did it fab? what a pain, who's flamed you ? let me at em!!. I'd just have a cooking fest after the freezer's been left open. I'm helping a little Fr. girl with her English this week so won't be on here much.
FB The fat storing thing won't happen overnight if you just continue on P.M. as normal.

Fab - No, don't hesitate about posting. I said give yourself a break for your sake not for anybody elses. We won't flame you. I certainly didn't mean it that way. I was trying to empathise really I was. I get what is happening but you have to find a way of not sweating the small stuff. And yes, I was going to say you sounded desperate but didn't want to say that for fear of offending but that is how you sound.

I just wrote a massive long post of what worked for me and helped me sort myself out but in the end I decided that this wasn't the time or the place for all that and anyway, you aren't me. Unfortunately for you, my way out of the continual anxiety was to take a step back and have children. Ironically, I worry less now even if though in theory I have more to worry about, although I do tend to go over the top if they are ill. I think a big part of it was no longer being a round peg in a square hole and doing a job I really didn't like or consider to have much value just because that was what was expected of me. I say unfortunately because you have done having children and so it isn't going to be a solution for you! Maybe you need to do the opposite and get a job!!

Of course I shall now worry all day that I have upset you which is absolutely not my intention. What I really want to say in a nutshell is that I have been there and got out of it but ended up fat and there is always hope. Please don't stop posting though. Nobody is going to flame you here.

BBB - you haven't upset me in any way. Thank you for caring.

I am brilliant when they are ill, rubbish when they are unjured but stuck about the ignore the bad, praise the good, as DD always complains that I don't tell DS1/2 off when they are mean/physical towards her and I don't know how to deal with that.

DD has been a pain in the arse since tea. Sent her to her room. Told her to tidy up all the stuff she had thrown on the floor. She said "No, and you can't make me." WTF am I supposed to do?

Fab, imo and this is only my opinion, if it starts getting physical you have to step in. I do try to say positive things, even if that is hard to to on bad days, but I don't hold back on picking up on the negative things if they need to be said either. I don't think it does them any harm, and in fact is a good thing as they have to have boundaries. They need to know when they have done well but they need to know when they must do better too.

The verbal meanness is difficult but sometimes you can't let it go imo. If the only way your DSs talk to their sister is in a mean way, they need to be told about it or it will become a habit and they will never relate to one another in a respectful way. For example, we've banned 'shut up' here as it is very aggressive - that's for me, DH and the DC. It was getting quite bad. It has worked too - it is amazing how much less confrontational things are when you ban that phrase. We still have our disagreements but in a measured way rather than shouting each other down... not that we are perfect as we all slip up sometimes!!

It is definitely a question of pick your battles. Most disagreements flair up and die down v quickly but if they don't then I wade in.

Sorry cross post.

No you can't make her but you can tell her that you won't be doing/allowing xy or z for her if she doesn't do as she is told. Usually works eventually for mine even stubborn DS2 although you do have to leave him to stew on the implications a bit. You have to be prepared to carry out your threats though so don't promise anything that you won't follow through.

I have come away to listen to ds2 read. I can't do this any more. It is just constant them speaking to me like I am shit and making it clear they don't think they have to do what I say.

Get tough Fab. Threaten them and then carry out your threats. Get DH to have a word with them too.

I remember my BIL saying their eldest started being really rude with his mother and nothing worked. She couldn't do anything right. He was about 8 or 9 at the time. In the end his dad told him not to talk to his wife like that. He didn't say, don't be rude to your mother but don't be rude to my wife. It sort of sent the message that the parents were a team and that the boy was up against the 2 of them, not just his mother. It turned out that he was actually putting up with a lot of crap from 'friends' at school and rather than having it out with them he was dumping it on his mother which isn't on.

I would tackle the eldest, as I bet the other two are copying.

Just to say, whilst I am dishing out advice, things aren't going too well here this afternoon. DS2 came out of school saying 'everybody' would be racing in the running race in Sports Day on Friday except him. Turns out he meant his 3 best friends - they had trials in PE this pm. DS is very stocky and has DH's short legs. He is not meant to be a sprinter. Plus he is bright, funny and kind and could do so many other things well. Sadly all he wants is to be good at sport and play for a Premiership football team which just isn't going to happen. He might play for a big rugby club but he just isn't a natural footballer. Anyway, there were many tears, much woe and a whole can of worms opened. I can be sympathetic to a point but I end up getting irritated and fed up of going round in circles. I can only do patience for about an hour and then I just want him to snap out of it. He did in the end tbf. Anyway, much tongue biting going on here.

DH came home and spoke quite firmly to dd and told her to sort her room out. She didn't say a word.

He said something about it being the same tomorrow and DS1 said probably.

DH is so fed up. Work is hectic x a million. He is working now and will be until 10 I suspect.

(DS1 just asked for something I had said he might be able to have later. I said no as they are a treat. I told him what he could have. He walked away without arguying to get my suggestions. I feel mean .)

DS1 has lost his lap top because of his behaviour. DD wasn't allowed computer time because of her behaviour. Nothing else to take off them.

BBB - shame for your son. Life is one disappointment after another at times but when you are small it doesn't make it wasier to take, does it?

Fab - from what I have picked up, it sounds like your kids have a lovely life. Parents who love them, a good education, mountains of home cooked food. Have confidence in the fact that you are giving that to them, so don't feel that they can hold you to ransom over the tiniest things.

I was so worried about what you were going to say, Ali, but thank you for that.

DD has been down. Not happy as I wouldn't wipe her bottom and told her I wasn't happy she had put her uniform on the bathroom floor which I hadn't had chance to clean today. Had to give her calpol as she was complaining of mouth pains. She complains of lots of pains. She has had physical problems but things are fine at the moment. She is doing well at school so not sure what is going wrong though she hasn't ever been a good sleeper.

Crap. I've been comfort eating today.

We all do that, Solo. Start again today.

I have no idea what I will do today as I am running away wound up by being treated like shit by the kids. I also have my health check tonight and expect to be told I am obese. I already know that. I have tried many things to lose the weight and nothing works. I might lose half a stone at best, ot 1lb at worse but it all goes back on even when eating carefully and exercising.

I comfort ate on Saturday due to pms and thinking DH was mardy with me! Back on the wagon today Solo!

I've been seen by the specialist and they want to look inside me so I'll be a day case under GA so they can use a scope. Doc thinks its a blockage in my urinary tract causing the problems. Should be easy enough to shift although I might need a stent for a fortnight. Just awaiting a date but he said the sooner, the better. I'll be glad to get it over with and hopefully be pain free!

AF has arrived so I'm glad I didn't weigh myself. I think we really need to wait til I'm fixed to try.

Hope the appt goes ok this morning fab. Just be honest and say you know it's an issue but you're struggling and see if she has any bright ideas!

I just did 25 minutes on DH's rowing machine. Wobbly legs now.

That sounds like good news Faith, aside from the operation bit of course but at least it sounds like it will fix the problem. I have everything crossed for you.

Solo - today is a new day. I hope it is better for you.

Fab - Could you get referral to a nutritionist/dietician? If you really are eating less and moving more (and I don't doubt that you are btw) then I think somebody needs to have a look in detail at what you are and aren't eating and see why you aren't losing weight. Maybe you aren't eating enough, maybe you have some sort of intolerance or sensitivity but it seems odd that you try so hard and nothing much happens. Don't let them keep telling you you are obese. Get them to help you do something about it apart from handing out diet sheets.

As for the children, don't let them turn you into a victim. If you let them get away with bad behaviour it isn't ever going to stop. Zero tolerance for a while would be my suggestion, even if you feel horrible doing it. They need to learn a little respect by the sounds of it and they won't do that if you let them get away with being unkind.

They treat me like their skivvy and ds1 told me a while ago I was one. Just seen a school sock on the lawn. Petty to leave it for ds1 or 2 to pick up?

Please tell me how to do zero tolerance. Have tried sending to their rooms. They either refuse to go or do go and don't care as they play or read. Or wreck the room.

Tried naughty step. They often refuse to go. If they do go they sit there laughing, chatting, calling out, their siblings talk to them and laugh at me with them. They then won't stay away from the one on the step.

With ds1 he loses his lap top. Isn't bothered. Asks what the point of having it is if he loses it all the time. Last week he said "Mummy, if you were a child who was given a lap top for doing something good and had it taken off you, how would you feel?" He meant him and I knew it so I amnswered "I would be very grateful I had been given something so amazing and would realise I had to behave to keep it." He said yes or right and walked off.

DD loses her nintendo or cumputer but isn't bothered.

DS2 gets sent to bed early.áctually they all do, but they just refuse to go or keep coming down. DD comes down every night with a pain or an ache.

What do they care about Fab? What would really hurt them? That sounds awful I know but if what you are doing isn't bothering them then you really need to think about what matters to them most. Whatever is their achilles heel, use it. You don't have to turn into a monster. It is just until they start toeing the line better.

Do they respect their father more? I would tell them to get the sock and then if they didn't get him to tell them. You need a united front on this. Make sure that they know that your DH won't tolerate the way they treat you either.

I also give them the speech, from time to time, about me not being their servant but their teacher. I am teaching them to look after themselves because I won't be here forever to pick up their socks or tidy up after them and they don't want to be complete useless and a laughing stock amongst their peers, do they? And then I give them the spiel about how we work as a team to look after the house we all live in.

God I've turned into my mother!!

I never did the naughty step for the very reason you say. It was no punishment if you spend all your time trying to get them to sit there. DS2 was the worst. I used to spend so long trying to get him to sit on the step that I forgot what he was supposed to be sitting there for in the first place.

Hark at me giving parenting advice. If you saw my two on a bad day you would just laugh - we have some real battles of wills. But on the other hand, they don't think of me as a scivvy and they know that in the end I usually get my way unless I decide to cut them some slack.

DS2 is easy. Take his bedtime teddies away.

DS1 and DD no idea other than telling their teachers (this works when they won't do their homework or read to us for all of them) but unfortunately we got nowhere when asking the school for help.

This is where I am stuck. They don't seem to care about anything.

They used to behave for daddy and grandparents but now they are just as bad for all of us. Nanny manages/copes better.