Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

I just saw my CS scar in person rather than via a mirror!

Whoohoohoo Stinky! Now there's cause for a celebration

Fuck you get yo fine ass in 'ere girl! You catch us on just day, for lo, 'tis Tuesday, week 0, and we are all weighing in. You must join, and welcome to you. Lemme know your target weight loss - I'm going for an interim loss because I am too cowardly to face da troofs, but others are doing the Whole Biz - and if you've been dieting this week lemme know your loss, and I shall add you to The Big Fat List!

I love names with 'fuck' in.

Right have slapped myself now.........time to cheer up and think positive. Have read through this thread again, and am geared up now to quit whinging and get on with it .
I suppose by my name you can guess I've got 2 DS's, they're 8 and 5, and my eldest has got SN. I'm married, age 37 and work part time. I'm a serial SW joiner, I think I've joined 5-6 times in the last 8 years.......I left my last group about two months ago as a new consultant took over and we didnt "get on" !!! Easy to blame her I suppose..........there was nothing to stop me carrying on by myself at home was there?? ANYWAY, here I am..........heavier than ever, but hey, hopefully next week there'll be less of me!

For dinner I am having 'chips', 2 LF sausages (1 syn each), wholemeal bread, 4 extra low fat laughing cow triangles, and some lettuce and tomatoes

basically, I'm having cheesy sausage and chip salad sandwiches. Doesn't sound very diet-y does it?

I even gave my ladygarden a bit of a tidy - DH asked if it was his birthday

TNB chin up, I've just had the shock of my life too. 2 years ago I was 11.12, now I', 14.1 - the horror!

And it's such a disappointment, isn't it, to get on the scales and see that all the previous dieting you've done, all the misery and deprivation, has acheived, in the long run, nothing but an appreciation for cakes (and in my case a self-delusion that size 16 tops don't fit 'because of my f cup tits')

Off to bed ladies as no sleep due to sick kids. Thank you so much for making a shit day bearable, and keeping me on track. This is a fab fred - so much better than meetings and free too!

Yeah, actually felt tearful when I stood on 'em......kept getting on and off hoping they were wrong! Thanks for that, its a horrible feeling, but at the same time its nice to know I'm not alone. My best mate is LOVELY and I love her to bits, but she keeps moaning that she had to buy size 10's now 'cause her 8's are a bit tight, and I'm like " grrrrrrrrr"........which is wrong of me, its all relative to each person, I know, but bloody hell!! I need to knuckle down again...I diet better when I'm happy and relatively un-stressed, but thats not been the case for a while! I need to curb my emotional eating, thats a main goal for me. And thank you everyone for the welcome

Dear 2noisy, glad your chin's up a wee bit. Really ace to see you (what? WHAT?! I can be nice and sincere !). Look forward to getting know you and everyone a bit really!

And sorry about your shock Colditz. I know so well how that feels. I have always been very overweight, and 2/3 years ago decided I had had enough and lost 4 stone in total. I remember very clearly after a lifetime of never baring my arms or legs in public and wearing long, long layers of dusty, homemade black clothes, looking in the mirror as I got ready to go out. I literally could not believe my eyes - there in the mirror was a tall bonny girl in a floral dress and sandals and long blonde hair, and I honestly fell to the floor and cried and cried and cried. I dunno if you lot have always been overweight, but I have. That short period when I was a size 14/16 (I'm 5 foot 8) was the first time in my life I had been anything like a normalish size, and it was like entering some sort of parallel universe. I cannot believe that because of my fucking stupid laziness and self-indulgence I have undone half of that good, and here I am in long dusty black clothes again, sweltering in the summer because I have to cover my arms in cardigans and my legs in opaque tights.

ANYWAY. Buck the fuck up Blooo! This is the fresh start. But: I do know how you're all feeling. And I think alongside the swearing and the lists mistakes and the food obsession there's always time for a spot of self-pity here....

Night Stinky, sleep tight! She's plainly off for a shag everyone

2noisy see above rant - I am with you m'deario. And with an SN child I can well imagine that you have been putting yourself last - and alas, as you say, to diet successfully you need to put yourself first, and it helps to be unstressed. When I lost all that weight I was the happiest I've ever been, and I think that's how I could do it...

but look: it's 9pm, and today, the Day of DOOM, is nearly over. Let's be all Scarlett O'Hara about it: tomorrow really IS another day

And most of all thanks for the bloody good giggle I've had whilst reading through.......A lot more laffing than went on in my SW class, I can tell you!

Yes Bloofer, i have always had bigness against me, and that summer 2 years ago was the first summer I could wear a skirt bare legged without my thighs rubbing together. So I did, right up until October!

And here I am, back on the dusty black that has been my uniform sinc3e I was 12.

BUT!

No More. I Will Make This Work.

Oh Colditz: me too, me too - i used to have to carry a small pot of baby powder with me to stop the rubbing, and even now I can't look at talc without feeling depressed....Jesus, that must sound so lame, but to me it epitomises how it felt. To have to carry it because otherwise I couldn't walk. oh no am making myself well up - someone hurl MullerLights at me till I cheer the shite up!

Sorry 2Noisy, giggles to resume very shortly!

Shake your boobs a bit, it always cheers me up.

Go on, grab the underwire and jiggle 'em!

!!!!

See, I actually just did that. I'm grinning, but my cat is giving me a look of the utmost distaste

No no no........its reassuring to know there so many others like me...cackling manically one minute, morose the next! Have welled up many many times tonight....

Thanks for the welcome, Bloofer.

Hi. My name is WhatTheActualFuck and I'm a bloater.

Weight loss to date: approx 6.5 stone. Fell off the diet wagon in spectacular fashion just before Christmas last year (luckily the additional 'padding' broke my fall) and have been struggling to get back on the fucker ever since. Gained about 10lbs in that time. The damage would have been a whole heck of a lot worse if I hadn't kept up my gym habit. In fact, the hours I'm in the gym are just about the only time that I'm not shovelling chocolate down my gullet

Target loss: about another 6 stone. Yes, you read that correctly, it's not a typo, unfortunately. 6 and a half would be better. 8 would be ideal according to the chart in the Docs surgery but I reckon I'd have to lop off a couple of limbs to achieve that. I'm now just 'normally' fat as opposed to 'freakishly'. I whill turn cartwheels when I can get into a size 16 50s style dress. Metaphorical cartwheels, of course

If today is day zero, I'll set a mini target at 7lbs as that'll get me into the next stone range, and then I'll weigh next Tuesday. Even that seems like an enormous challenge since my motivation packed it's bags and abandoned me. Baby steps...

Hmmmmmm, there is a real danger that come autumn either a) we shall all be twirling around in scarlet polyester frocks from Next, like the lady in the Special K ads, or b) driven beyond the point of reasonable sanity. It's 50/50....

I'm off to ransack my wardrobe to see if I can find something to wear to The Event tomorrow . At least, having been to the gym 5 days in a row and had lots of nice big poos, I am slightly trimmer than this time last week...

In haste - that wardrobe isn't going to trash itself - fucking ace-ingly brilliant amazeballs on the loss, Fuck. Consider yourself duly noted for the Big Fat List in a bit. I know what you mean about the stone range - I have these thresholds in my head that mean joy or despair!

Cheers, Bloofer but hold the congrats...I just posted that then scoffed half a chocolate brownie

Hoping the wardrobe trashing uncovers a hidden gem. God bless those big poos

Right . Amended list below. If it's wrong again I'm going to cry into my nighttime cuppa . Obviously don't let that stop you correcting mishtakes because this does need to be right innit.

THE BIG FAT LIST: WEEK 0

Stinky Target: -75 Total loss: -4 This week: -4
Bloof Target: -20 Total loss: -1 This week: -1
Colditz Target: -28 Total loss: -0 This week: -0
Pony Target: -20(kg) Total loss: - 1.4kg This week: -1.4kg (3.1lb)
Boo Target: - 14 Total loss: -0 This week: -0
C4ro Target: -12kg Total loss: -0 This week: -0
Only Target: -17 Total loss: -0 This week: -0
2Noisy Target -10 Total loss: -0 This week: -0
Fuck Target -7 Total loss: -0 This week: -0
MrsF tbc

Good evening ladies, may I hovver for a wee while? I started a SW thread a while ago, but its less fun than this one apears to be. Waves at Boo, alpine and bloofer-you may remember me from such threads as...........

Here goes: start weight 21,st 13.5 (OMFG)
week 1 5lb loss
week 2 6.5 loss
week 3 1lb gain (gnnnnn)
week 4-i'll tell you tomorrow.

What ho there Fish! I'll put you on the list next time fo sho! Yes I'll think you'll find this is where the cool girls hang out

Soz about the gain - but thing is: bigger loss this week, am I right? Let us know :)