Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

ME TOO!

Ah dear. For these reasons I hope I will have a son and not a daughter, should the Lidl carrier bag womb ever pull its damn self together. That being said my sisters range from 5 foot 10 size 8 borderline eating disorder to 5 foot 5 and 23 stone, so it's all a bit hard to predict really!

I hate evans too-fat does not have to equal frumpy! Especially if youre under 50!

I fecking hate Evans too, why do they think fat people are square.

har har! Square in style and in shape. And they do the SAME clothes every year. In hideous patterned polyester . I have more like getting vintage clobber of Etsy, even at a size 18. I honestly don't know how it can be that hard to dress fat folks. Newsflash, we would welcome T shirts with proper sleeves. And bias cut skirts suit no-one. Making a halterneck mini-dress in a larger size does not constitute 'clothes for the larger lady'

like luck

of off

TypingFAIL

I've always managed to stay out of Evans - its just too hideous to contemplate.

I am stressing out about a pub lunch today and what to have that will be low in syns, and getting cross with myself for having such a pathetic, weak little mind that this sort of thing even matters! Its with a beanpole of a friend who will take the piss royally if I order a salad, and who wants a boring old jacket pot when out for lunch? I hate being fat I want scampi and chips!

Congratulations to Viva, Fish and Pix- storming weeks all round.

pixie I actually like ploughmans so thats what I'd get on your pub lunch.

Oh I do feel a tit this morning. Somehow I failed to notice that the Kindergarden is closed today! It is liberation day here, which I knew, but presumed nothing to worry about as they only properly take it as a bank holiday every 5 years. Anyway, was all pleased with myself that the road was empty this morning on the way there until I got to the KG and found the doors locked! Had to go into work, apologise to boss and take the day off on short notice.

AP is right- there are technically fat people here in forren as I've seen their shops (M&S Mode, sizes go EU38 - 54/ UK12 - 28) but you don't see many out and about. I would admire anyone size 26 that was happy to pull on a gold bikini- I didn't wear them even when size 10. Wonky tits since you ask... TMI? OK, just forget I mentioned that bit. Fashion designers also seem to think when you get bigger, your legs shrink. I'm finding it tough to get size 18-20 trousers with longer legs. But ladies this is of no matter to us- we are all going to be tiny wee bits of things by Christmas

Hopped on the scales today to see if that fecking 1/2lb is still there, and weigh 4lb less! What is that all about? Yes, I did poo both days

Hmmmmmm Stink. I don't know whether to be pleased for you or to be , cos I know for DAMN STRAIGHT if I'd've hopped on the scales again today I'd be like, half a stone heavier...

Thanks fishandlilacs for the 'tip off' about this thread

Well I am a newbie... starting SW at home tomorrow morning. Looking forward to chatting to you all :)

Meh. I failed at the appearance of nachos with cheese and guacomole and all kinds of tempting gooeyness. Bugger.

Thanks for all the advice about Izzys immunisations. We did dose her up with calpol and she settled. She has slept ALL day though, bless her! Bracing myself to be up a lot tonight! I have also been to the GPs and found out that the reason I feel like I'm going through labour every time I poo is because I have an anal fissure. Oh joy.Sorry, prob TMI. Its very sore and have spent today sat on one bumcheek then the other... Managed not to reach for a gin or chocolate though.

Today I have eaten (I need to keep telling you guys so I don't snack):
Break : omlette with pepper, tomato
Lunch: Jacket baked beans and salad
Dinner: SW lamb rogan josh from their cookbook
Plus ML yoghurt, Raw carrots, raspberries. I've got a healthy A left to eat - will prob have 2 alpen light bars while up with the little un.

pixie - don;t worry about it! Hmm nachos..yum yum. Am very jealous!
stink - congrats on the overnight weight loss!! I'm going to have to buy new scales as I weighed nyself 4 min apart (in disbelief at the 1st weigh in result!!) and there was 4lbs difference.
bloofer hows the word count?

c4ro I found myself in Miss Etam the other day perusing the clothes which are less "european" if you know what I mean. I tried on a pair of slim leg white jeans and a long tunic. I didn't buy because the boys were waiting and I was faffing - but white jeans? Everyone White jeans? Am I going to look like a big fluffy fat white cloud trying to pass as three Liz Hurley's?

I do wear bikinis at a "tight" size 14/16 - I even wore a split to the waist swimsuit at a 16/18. My boyfriend came out to the pool howling with laughter, one of my boobs had "fallen out" and was on full display. :( I fear such items are made for the aforementioned triple-A cups.

cheese That sounds horrible you poor thing, although I do remember a case years ago where a friend simply stopped eating because it hurt every time she pooed! Beware new scales - they don 't lie. They tell the truth each and every time. :(

Right, I need to get a shift on, I'm going to the gym. Organic boxes yesterday contain so much good stuff that I really don't NEED to be eating fucking cornettos. Or three.

PS Do any of you dress like this to go to the gym? Why

Gah Pix i know that feeling only too well. And it IS always the gooey stuff! Pah! Still. 'Twas only one meal in one day and there are 21 meals in a week, right? Onward Slimming Soldiers!

Cheese I'm glad the little one settled, and alas alas I know something of your pain. I'll happily join in the with the TMI - I don't have the full-on fissure yet but have a congenital thing that means I'm very prone to them, and have occasional bouts of bleeding and soreness, and a lifelong battle to poo normally. It's HORRIBLE and I veer between constipation and laxative addiction. . Well done for going to the GP for it - I keep meaning to get mine finally sorted and probably should do if I ever manage to get a duffle, cos pregnancy ain't gonna help none!

word count - well: I am actually still 'icing' the 'biscuits' at the moment. Sorry, I was going to think of a non-food-related analogy! Erm. knitting 90,000 socks?!?! In which case I am spending the rest of the day embroidering the last of the socks, then that is done, then tomorrow I kick off with the academic thesis bit. In order to make up lost time I am aiming to do 2,000 words tomorrow, Saturday, Sunday and Monday . Do please all feel free to prompt me on this!

Pony I don't think you can get Etam over here anymore!

I don't know how I feel about that picture really. I feel very very sad at all the comments underneath saying that she is vile etc. and i think I OUGHT to be thinking 'you go girl' but I'm not - I think she probably should be covered up. And i think she is deluding herself. At once point she says 'I have a tiny waist' . Quite interesting comparing my own figure to hers - my arms, legs and bum are sadly not dissimilar, but I have no rolls or folds or cellulite on my stomach or waist thankfully. I am actually slightly surprised that her skin looks like that at her age - actually, how old is she??

MUST get to the gym today. I was so depressed at gaining 5lb the week I went every day that I just couldn't motivate myself to go - I felt genuinely angry, like I had been taken in by a confidence trick

Food today (I know what you mean cheese, i have to see it written down!)

(Red day)
Break - fruit salad, mullerlight, coffee
Lunch - 2 lots of cheese toastie (using ALL my HEs in one glorious hit!)
Dunner - chicken and tomato stew, courgettes, fruit salad

Thanks for the encouraging words - I was pissed off with myself because I ordered a prawn ploughmans (at C4ro's excellent suggestion) and was feeling all virtuous and then evil lovely skinny friend ordered the nachos "to share" and I didn't have the balls to not eat any.

Ahh Etam! It has sadly died a death here Pony but I spent most of my yoof in Tammy Girl clothes. I feel a bit odd at that picture. I would probably look horribly similar in clothes like that but at the same time I find myself going "Ewwww, it looks like she has picked out the clothes she wants to wear when she hits a size 12 and is wearing them regardless of being a 20". Seriously, those shorts must have been digging RIGHT in.

I did wonder if it was some psychological thing - knowing that the photos would be on public display and maybe her trainer saying "wear this, you know you'll look bad but it'll spur you on". My tummy did look like that pre-tummy tuck - I think it's putting on and losing lots of weight many times. My arms/legs/boobs/bum were totally unaffected which is odd because my tummy has never been "that big" in comparison to the rest of me.

Etam is French and here in NL a lot of the stuff is square, but their jeans really do fit a short fat-arse.

i have rea read back and I dont know which picture youre taling about-please can someone link it for me again-I must be missing something!

Gaah, over enthusiastic on the "post" button.

Yoweeeee for the bum trouble Cheese - my biggest tendency towards wussiness is going to see the doctor about anything bum-related so you have my respect and awe for getting it seen to!
I had to have a c-section with DD after a ridiculous induction and drawn out labour, and I think the main benefit of that was having a pristine undercarriage and no one poking and prodding about down there!
Glad Izzy is feeling better. Is it 4 weeks now until round 2?

ah ha-found it.

I think it's a shame she couldn't find clothes to fit, theres no reason to have it all out like that,

I am bigger than her too I think.

Fish click on the word Why in Ponys 0743 post!

God, Im slow this morning, cross posting with everyone!

My tummy only looks remotely like that from having had the sproglet. Before then I was a heifer big but with lovely smooth firm Rubinesque curves. I never felt too bad naked, always thought "Oh I should prob lose a few stone" but not in a desperate, revolted kind of way. Now my body looks like some kind of blancmange crossed with a split sack of broad beans and I'm really sickened at myself in the nude Sadly, I don't think even weight loss will mend it - its the elasticity of the skin which is fucked beyond repair Still, losing the fat has got to help hasn't it? Hasn't it?

Oh Pix I am at your marvellous imagery and also and empathetic at how you feel....

I think losing the fat HAS to help, and you won't have lost all the elastin, surely - d'yer mind my asking how old you are? Because I know it declines from like, 18 or somesuch terrifying statistic, but it's not like you're 72 (I assume ).

At the moment I am slathering anything remotely stretchy in bio oil. Not sure if that is going to help but I like to feel I am doing SOMETHING, even if 'tis no more effective than farting against thunder.

I can't get too excited about tummies though - I will never wear a bikini, and unless Daniel Craig comes to his senses the only man who'll ever see my naked has done so and was equally appreciative of me at sizes 14/16 and 22/24, so...

I'm 28 Bloof which kind of worries me more, because if I am in this state now then what will I look like if I am lucky enough to have more children and lose the weight I want to? Surely its all downhill from here?

Yep, Bio-oil is supposed to be the answer to it all according to my mother, but its just so damn sticky - I have to plan what I am doing for the next three hours after I put it on because me hands and wobbly bits are so slimy. I think I must have very oily skin - I just don't seem to be the absorbing kind!

You are welcome to Daniel Craig. Him and Christian Bale give me the jeebies.

Ah well you see, merely a nipper! i'm SURE you'll spring back. These things take time. And if you don't revert to a silky-smooth unwrinkled tum: well, you have a child to show for it.

Am laughing at the idea of you slipping and sliding round the bathroom as you slather yourself in a sheen of scented pink oil yelling 'ABSORB DAMN YOU ABSORB'

I'm with you on Christian Bale. Fucking creepy-ass motherfucker. One look at his face and I feel oddly depressed and uneasy. Dude's like a fucking Dementor.