Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

Disclaimer 2: Actually, for the record, I'm not bitter. It's all luck of the draw and I am damn lucky to be healthy and young(ish).

I am sure I read somewhere that even where there are no 'problems' in the couple's ability to conceive, and even if you do the deed at the right times of the month, you still only have a 1 in 10 chance of actually conceiving each month... tis a bit bonkers!

Yup! The only thing I'm a bit bitter about is having witnessed the frankly absurd attention-seeking histrionics of women TTCing for like, 6 whole months. Erm, because yes, a failure to conceive fully 2 months less than average is going to blight your existence and suicide is the only option - especially since I have now functioned more or less as normal, with minimal tears, for nearly a year and a half. However TTCing has also introduced me to women who have had the most astonishing grace and courage under terrible circumstances so it's been mostly good. Now if only my Lidl carrier bag of a uterus could buck up (Lidl doesn't even DO carrier bags. Maybe that's my problem?!).

Lidl don't DO carrier bags?!?!?!

I know that wasn't the big point of your message but... REALLY????

booo to 18 months TTC.... been checked at docs?

Someone has just pointed out that they do, providing you part with 10p.

Yar, all checked out. Top notch, me (and he). Merely a matter of having lots and lots and lots of sex, as the very embarrassed 12 year old boy of a GP explained . Is only 16 months really - musn't exaggerate . If there's nowt doing by autumn we're off to the jolly old fertility clinic to sign up for IUI/IVF/whatevs, but before any of that they'll prolly do more tests, I should think. Ho hum.

Congrats to all those who lost weight and commiserations to those who didn't - I blame Easter and all that bladdy choc and wine!

blooferlady - sorry about the TTC malarkey. If its any consolation (which I doubt it will be) my bessie mate had an appt at the fertility clinic - that morning she did a preggers test just to be sure and it was positive! She now has a lovely one year old.

Peace at last. In laws gone. Eating my way through a punnet of strawbs. Shit, Baby crying already. Sigh. 1st set of vaccines at 3.30 today. Misery. Sigh!!!

Au contraire Bees and Chiscuits

I have eaten so much fruit I may vom. Oooh, that'd be good. Then the biscotti from this morning wouldn't count...

Afternoon all

Am failing to keep up with thread at the moment.
Hell, I'm just failing at everything at the minute. Scales show last week's lost pound has reappeared. Probably due to being with my family over the weekend where there was much more temptation than at Easter to be honest.

Need to formulate some kind of exercise plan. I have always been really rubbish at this from school PE lessons onwards. Am no good at gym (well, not last time I tried 10 years ago, but don't think anything has changed since then). And HATE running - have never found any bra that could adequately support me during that, and also hate the bouncing saddlebags sensation.

I used to get most of my exercise taking my dog on long walks, but sadly I have been dogless for the last 6 months (she was 15 so it wasn't that much of a surprise, but I do miss her, and the walks). Now all my walking involves going at a 3 year old pace, stopping at every other pebble, which isn't going to burn many calories. Am a very poor swimmer, but contemplating trying to fit in a session or two a week, if DH gets home from work in time to take over child rearing and for me to get there in time. Any other suggestions welcome.

how very zen of you blooferlady

Im hoping all this fruit will help me poop - another ailment left over from childbirth!
today Izzy won't let me put her down - as soon as i do, her eyes are wide open and the screaming starts! At least it stops me raiding the cupboards! Its as if she knows whats coming later...

BOUNCING SADDLEBAGS! ZACKLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lunch was interesting today. The canteen soup was mustard and it tasted of vom so I didn't finish it. How kind of them to make it inedible so I can keep the calories down.

Unfortunately I'm now starving and can only think of food. I need distractions badly.

MUSTARD SOUP?!?!??!?!?!!!!

CheeseBiscuits Have you got a sling? It's tough when they need to be glued to you.

Yep, mustard grains like you get with mustard and cress... except that would have had a nice spicy interesting flavour. This was horrible and looked AND tasted like vom.

oh the bastards

c4ro I've experimented with mustard soup too. It should be spicy, hot, warming, exciting. Instead it was yellow goo and you need to remind yourself you're simply eating a cup of hot water with a spoonfull of condiments in it. Nobody is that hungry.

Mustard soup sounds torturous C4ro ( I have two friends named Caro and they are both utter darlings. I have a crush on you already). How unfortunate - I bet you are craving all sorts of naughties.

If I am going to lose 2ibs every 3 weeks I will hit my target in September. And that's only an interim. I really need to up my game don't I?

Thanks M.Boo
Well, made it home and have managed not to phone pizza shoppe which is braver than it sounds. Have learned lesson and will try the salads options for a while. That is harder though as there are always loads of bowls of nice nibbly bits to go on top and inappropriate (IE tasty) dressings to weave your way past. I'm all for making this as easy as possible and wafting nice things past my nose that I have to actively decline doesn't work for me.
Will come back later to applaud/ commiserate the table of shame.

it seems fish is upduffed and hasn't even announced to us!!!

here

I put on the fecking 1/2lb I lost last week. I know why though - I was feeling deprived after being so good over Easter, and did not want to be on a diet at all - finished kids crusts, yoghurts, swapped ryvita for bread etc etc. I have now decided I will be good again.

Still not heard about the job, and I hate my current boss - sent him a shitty email yesterday, but thankfully had sent it to myself by mistake instead of him.

DD2 has been settling in at nursery, and that has been hard, and I had my fat MIL and SIL to stay, and they were eating everything going - I was jealous, and emotional.

Food is not the answer, but it seems to make sense at the time.

Amphetamines seem very appealing sometimes, or a gastric band.

On the TTC front, I was told at 30 that my tubes etc were fucked and I would never conceive naturally - mismanaged miscarriage leading to hideous infection, again mismanaged. I fell pregnant on the second month of trying at 36 - had told DH before wedding that IVF or adoption would be our only options - and again at 40. I am so blessed

I was just coming over to say the same thing Cheep
This is obviously going to be an incredibly lucky thread for us all and everyone that joins is going to get thin and/or upduffed with alarming speed!

Congratulations Fish Always a good thing to have more Cornishmen in the world!

Right off for a catch up, back in a jiffy.

Well done FISH!!!!! and Mr Fish too