Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

Hello you gorgeous wimminz. Today I have had another bread fail - but I did reach for a stick of celery instead of a biscuit when I got a munch on this afternoon. Do I win a prize? :o

Hi all, just a quick check in........have been adjusting my outfit for tomorrows hen night most of the day........and I still look like a bloody dogs dinner . It looks enormous on the hanger, and yeah ok, its what it looks like on me that matters, but to be honest, it doesnt look much better when I do put it on! I feel hot and incomfy in it....in fact, I feel like that in most of my clothes at the moment, probably due to the fact that I'm squeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzing myself into most of them. A very down-on-myself day today.

Anyway, the kids broke up for Easter today, and I'm hoping that over the next fortnight I'll actually get some stuff done. The house is in a muddle, and I want to start sorting out some SW menu plans, like I used to a couple of years ago. It worked really well for me to work out what we'd be eating that week, and shop for just that (Obviously with a few "extras" wine, chocolate, crisps thrown in!!) Dont know why I stopped doing it really, everything has just seemed so much more difficult to organise these last couple of years............need to get organised! Hows everyone else been today?

AlpinePony Your dad is a strange, strange man if he thinks that sort of treatment would gee anyone up to lose weight; I'd go in a depressive funk and eat 100 mars bars. My dear mum was not as bad but from 14 through to 20 I was chunky and she was forever making cracks and sly comments about it. She was tall and slim then, yet later she found out that she has a malabsorption disease so, lo and behold, on a corrected diet, she is quite the fatty herself (not brave/ stupid enough to point this out to her though). Karma. The DH job in Vienna is with an electronics company, R+D sort of role?

WhatTheActualFuck How is this the first time that pikey me has had groupon brought to my attention? What a good website. My friend used to feed crunchy nut cornflakes dry to their African parrot- it loved them too. At the moment I have none in the house but I have some muesli instead, (probably why I?m not bothering with breakfasts!).

B.Lady Hope your gym sesh was good.

All your talks of exercise in all forms are scaring me rigid. I hate aerobic exercise so much I?d rather only drink water for a year to get the weight off, but the problem is that even if that would work, there will remain some wobbly bits unless toning of some type is attempted. Argh! Mind you, if there was the distraction from it being a renamed, non-standard form of punishment (so your burlesque or zumba or boxercise...) whatever, that would help me anyway. I think even a wii fit could be better than nothing. Bear in mind I?m so out of touch with gym thangs I had to google kettleballs FFS. Currently my imagination is raging on what on earth you do with them (club the trainer to an insensible pulp when they add a minute to your crosstrainer program?...)

Today I managed noodles lunch and 2 mexican wraps for supps. Not great as my main target for the easing-gently-in was to cut down to one main hot meal a day. Celery sticks raw is the dullest but I really like them fryed up with onions and chicken- nice with rice.

Ok ladies.

I am off to stay in a yurt in cornwall for four days at the end of next week. We have a gas bbq to cook on and wood burning stove with a hot plate on top.

So gimme some inspiration, I am going to make a batch of burgers, i have a batch of bolognese in the freezer already. Obviously will take masses of salads What can I eat to avoid fish and chips/pasties/clotted cream/ice cream (the diet of my youth growing up down there) comon gimme some inspiration?

Ooh while were at it-i have just had the most delicious SW dinner. Stuffed chicken breasts wrapped in ham. Cut a pocket in a chicken breast, mix together VLF fromage frais, parsley, parmesan cheese (2.5 syns worth) and garlic. Stuff into chicken, wrap in ham/bacon secure with cocktail sticks or wraps of foil, bake for 25-30 mins.

Served with a big massive green salad and SW chips :)

BBQ'd veggies with masses & masses of hummus. Courgettes/peppers are probably best. Apples with dried fruit in the core wrapped in tin foil.

(Dairy Milk stuffed at bottom of knickers bag).

You were watching Saturday Kitchen 3 weeks ago!

c4ro Yes, odd the comments and actions people take to make you aware that you're overweight! Nope, not an R&D role, tell him he's safe!

Ah bollix - just fell into a bowl of profriteroles. S'only 2 1/2 syns innit?

Ooh ooh ooh, which part of CornwallFish? I am in the far far far west and lost in a bank of fog right now.

I'm not even going in to what I've eaten today. I could sob or vomit or both

But on a lighter note I went on to the weight loss equivalent website and I want to lose a couple of guinea pigs less than an elephants penis! Thats gotta cheer me up on the day of DOOM

I am verrrrrrrrrry happy - stepped on the scales this morning and it's all looking good for Tuesday. Also, absolutely no aches after my big gym session yesterday and I put this down to the 3 minute cycle home from the gym. Not far at all, but just enough to stretch & loosen the muscles rather than jumping in the car and seizing up.

c4ro Weight training is far better than traditional aerobic training. i) you don't need to run, ii) you don't need to be co-ordinated, iii) bigger lasses, because they have to carry around lots of weight anyway, are strong and can lift big weights (don't automatically think dumbells/kettles), iv) you'll get much more toned, much more quickly if you've got muscle, v) weight training doesn't give you the "hunger" that traditional aerobics does. On saying that, the quickest way for me to lose the kilos is to combine weights with running. The only way to make running "nice", is to drive in to the middle of fucking nowhere with the dogs, run for a minute, walk for a minute, repeat to fade (pass out), or gym, front row so you can't see any perceived slights - ipod on, good podcast - especially with instructions. For weights, I love Body Pump because it's varied and free weights give your muscles a better work out than the machines, plus, because it's an hour long class you stick it out through shame! But, the machines are great too. My legs are very strong and I can press 100kg+, with my stomach I can crunch 40kg+. This led to a rather unusual situation with the midwife whereby due to my BMI I needed extra checks, but due to my massive stomach muscles they were unable to feel the baby!

madameboo I could eat profiteroles until I pop!

AFTERNOON LOSERS!!

I have just had my third night in a row of binge drinking. I am officially a government statistic. Hmph. But I have 3 days to BE VERY GOOD before Tuesday's Day of Doom (TM) so I don't feel to thoroughly despondent.

Today:

B - eggy bread (taught to me by a BFF, and now my new fave thing) made with teeny bread (HEB)
L - My Favourite Lunch (steamed rice and courgettes with feta and black pepper on top) FREE + HEA; strawberries
D - butternut squash curry FREE; fruit salad and yoggit FREE

I am also off to the gymnasium - trying to go every day - if only to try and salve my conscience after my booze habits of late!

Pony I wish someone had told me years ago how important strength training is to weight loss. My trainer has told me that if I have to do a workout in a hurry it's better to do less cardio and more weights, because muscle mass is a more efficient at metabolising fat/burning cals...

FishandLilacs - there is a really good free recipe for a SW barbecue marinade for chicken and pork???

2Noisy my dear girl, I know that feeling so well . BUT I guess we have to try and remember that most of our pals know perfectly well what we look like so the fact we're not slender as cheerleading teens won't be a shock. ALSO don't forget that the loss of only 4 or 5 lb can make a huge different to how clothes fit....so tomorrow night might be the last time you feel really uncomfortable. I do realise that doesn't help at help at the time though

C4ro I know what you mean about hating aerobic biz/exercise generally and honestly I felt the same, I really did. I'm asthmatic for a start. Add to that the fatness and the shite gym kit and the fact I refuse to be vain enough to wear makeup to the gym and it's a perfect storm of shittery and humiliation. But it honestly is like a drug and once you start you know how great you feel and you want to keep going back and back, I promise. And see above - you don't need to go anywhere near a treadmill anyway!

2noisy Have you tried the dreaded shapewear to haul you in a little?

af'ernoon.

I AM GOING TO have a drink tonight :) woohoo. Been angelic again this week so far-not gone over 8 syns all week. Today may be a different matter. :)

Thanks for the tips on the camping food. I reckon it will be quite easy as long as it's not wet. I will be having cornish fish and chips though no too ways abaout it.

@pixie I'm going to St Keverne nr helston this time but my folks haul in from st ives, camborne, penzance and penryn. I'm a penzance girl myself dont you know 'me bird. :) Where are you? Holidaying or living there?

Aaaaah....binge drinking. Those were the days

How are we all doing this fine Saturday, then? Weekends are usually the danger time for me as, if I have nothing structured to occupy my time, I eat. Today has been good, though...muesli, fruit and yoghurt for breakfast followed by gym and some interval training on the treadmill. 4 flatbread crackers for lunch with hummus and beetroot. I did make a banana & chocolate loaf but only had the teeniest little slice to make sure it was edible as it's to be shared with friends at a picnic tomorrow.

Now I have to groom a dog (my dog is more high maintenance than I am) and then start to make myself presentable for dinner out tonight to undo all my virtuous goodness. I have volunteered to be designated driver though so no wine calories for me

c4ro I used to feel like that about exercise...honestly. I couldn't run for a bus and the mere thought of getting on a treadmill made me break out in a cold sweat....nevermind wobbling running on one..and in public! But Bloof is right, it becomes addictive and the feeling of well-being you get from it is immense. I may still be the size of a small house but I am slightly smug in the knowledge that I am quite a bit fitter than the majority of my skinny friends. Plus I can really see the results of the strength training already....the bingo wings are almost banished for a start and in places where there just used to be flab, there is a bit less flab and a bit of muscle too.

Fishandlilacs I am a St Just girl my 'ansom! Small world!

Fuck I can only dream of the day that my bingo wings are banished. All the weight I have lost seems to have come off my waist - no complaints there - but my arms, hips and arse are looking ridiculous by comparison.

DH is out tonight. What to have for dinner? The salad stuff in the fridge isn't exactly shouting my name. Why don't people have insatiable cravings for lettuce or celery?

Fuck are you really making progress on bingo wings? For mine are despicable and I have been doing strength training (30kg on a lateral pull today ) but not in any real hope it would help. Imagine my horror the other day when I turned on Embarrassing Bodies and it was someone after surgery for her bingo wings. I assumed she'd lost 10 stone or something and had excess skin but when they showed the 'before' shot they were just like mine I was horrified ON EVERY LEVEL

I am feeling very uninspired today, despite the hopping on the bathroom scales this morning and finding good news.

Have eaten

Teeny toast, ham and scrambled eggs
banana and muller yogurt
chicken and salad and chips (pub lunch, chips were delicious and totally worth it)

no supper yet, lunch was huge as I live in the rural north where men are men and portions are enormous else the farmers won't go out to eat. I kid you not, in the pub there were all these different menus written up, fish, chicken, meat, steaks, seafood.....not one vegetarian option at all out of 30 options. Was it Frankie Boyle who was talking about restaurants who didn't offer a vegetarian option "Yes we do have a vegetarian option, you can fuck off" .

Those of you who do exercise, do you run? Do you enjoy it? I did the couch to 5K a couple of years ago, finished it, was running 5K 2 or 3 times a week, but just didn't enjoy it at all. Would like to find something else to do that I would enjoy instead. The Bodypump that Alpinepony mentioned sounds frightening.

Would you consider the 30 day shred Only ? I really enjoyed that and was surprised as I am a total bit of a lard arse. I was bored rigid by day 30 but I did manage to do the whole thing without a day off

Pixiestix, I will check it out but find it a bit scary too. Did you find it difficult to keep going? Did it make much of a difference?

It made a massive difference to my fitness levels, but not really to my weight. I lost 6lbs in the 30 days but was losing at that rate anyway because of SW. I was starving for most of it because I'm so unused to doing exercise But overall, I was really glad to do it and felt much livelier and more energetic.
I'm meaning to start it again, but I have lost all motivation at the moment and just want to be buried under an avalanche of Easter eggs.

What is the 30 Day Shred?? I see references to it now and then but am a bit hazy...

only at 18 stone I did C25K and did the Race for Life. It was truly amazing to see how much fitter I got, and how quickly (the plan I did meant you started off walking 1 min, running 1, walking 1, then when you're OK with that you did 2 walk, 2 run, 2 walk etc.).

HOWEVER. I am heavy and asthmatic and although I liked the achievement there was no way I was doing it for pleasure. This is partly because I wasn't ever fit enough to run for long enough to burn some serious cals, so I prefer the gym where I can do stuff like steppers and cross trainers (I can only run for about 6 minutes without needing my inhaler - but I can utterly spank it at the gym for 45 minutes straight, burn 400 cals and be drenched with sweat). I honestly can't explain the difference and why I can't run but can do pretty heavy duty cardio for a long time...Pony might have an explanation (cos she knows stuff).

Bloofer the 30 day shred has a couple of threads here somewhere and is a aerobic DVD which features pretty intense exercise. See Amazon link

I like the look of it but (1) we need to get a DVD player downstairs as I don't think the bedroom floor would take the strain! and (2) I worry about motivating myself to do it each day as I have limited time to do stuff like this without DD being around, so it is far too easy to not get out of bed in time and then it just doesn't happen. These aren't actually very good excuses though! Maybe I should just get over myself, get a DVD player downstairs and go for it - what is the worst that can happen!

is 13 pages in too late to join you guys?

I am 30 this year. I was at my slimmest at 21 (9.5 stone) and was always slim prior to that. I had a back injury that essentially put paid to my excercise for at least a year - unfortunately I continued to eat like a house!
anyhoo - after 2 kids my weight has slowly crept up and I am now 14st 7lb (ish - not weighed in a couple of weeks!)... at 5' 4" I hope its sufficiently fat enough

I have taken up running (jogging / crawling) this year. Because of my back issues and being asthmatic I have taken it very slowly but can just about run a mile now (13 mins so not exactly running!) and am doing race for life in July and hoping to run the whole way I am really enjoying running - I do find it hard but the sense of achievement I get from beating my last 'best running length' is immense!

am not TTC or slimming world mind!

Welcome Cheep! LOL at being "sufficiently fat enough"!

Bloof The 30 Day Shred is an exercise DVD with three levels of intensity. The key thing for me was that each workout is only 20 minutes long and the exercises are really broken up. You do 3 minutes of strength training, 2 of cardio, 1 of abs then repeat x2. So no matter how much you feel like you are going to die there is never that long to go until you are working a completely different part of your body. Even me - Queen Slob - could motivate myself for 20 minutes a day.

I did the shred before christmas! It was ace - I didn't lose any weight but in just 2 weeks lost at least 2 inches everywhere - why did I stop it again?!

Can I join you too?

I have been slowly growing for years, then managed to maintain the same weight through pregnancy resulting in instant weight loss with the birth. Have done this twice now (sadly piling on the pounds again in between)

I think it would probably be irresponsible to keep on having children just to maintain my weight (not getting any younger and took a while TTC as well, so can't guarantee it would work anyway)

Now facing going back to work in 3 months and look in my wardrobe thinking it would be so much cheaper to try to shrink back into the clothes there rather than go out and buy more. I have many size 18 (& even 16) shirts, suits etc. but am currently a 20 (or more depending on cut and my ridiculously big at the best of times super-inflated by breastfeeding boobs)

It has just occurred to me that I might have lost weight while feeding if I had even half an ounce of willpower to resist the massive cravings for CAKE and BISCUITS and CHOCOLATE I have when lactating. Now we are weaning and I will not have that advantage much longer.

So, first goal to drop to a 16-18 and wear out all the clothes that have been sitting there for ages. I shall not be fashionable when I wear them, but will be clothed, and hopefully healthier.

I have no scales, and buying some would be admitting to the real life world that I do mind being this way. Not ready to go to any weigh-ins in public just yet, so will sneak into someone else's bathroom and check out the awful truth there, and come back to own up to it here - if you lot will have me and keep me in check, right?