Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

*macrobiotic

See, I can'even spell it, let alone be it....

Menu today has been:
2 big fat frothy coffees from my machine-I got the jitters after number 2 but I like the rush!

porridge with scan bran (vile vile soil biscuits) crumbled in. Crumbling them into porridge makes them palatable and it's a HE. topped with mullerlight vanilla and kiwi's and grapes.

Lunch was jacket spud topped with ham, cottage cheese, & sweet chilli sauce (1.5 syns tblsp) a red salad made with peppers toms and beetroot, and a white wine spritzer (i did have a friend over).

Tonight tea is swedish meatballs and spaghetti with a creamy mushroom and dill sauce.

yum yum.
also been to the park with dd and freinds dd and had a good old run about and walk. could fall asleep at the desk now never mind whipping up low fat culinary delights.

OOh do share recipe for meatballs and sauce, and syn value pleeease! Sounds great!

Just had Morrisons Go for it low fat sausages - 1/2 syn each - with left over Med Veg. Very good indeed!

My pleasure stinky, here goes:

For the meatballs:
1lb 8 oz lean minced pork
1 shallot
3 garlic cloves
handful fresh dill finely chopped
pepper and salt

For the sauce:
200ml veg stock
Finely chopped half an onion
chopped fresh dill
and the ubiquitous VLF fromage frais
Mushroom

make the meatballs then brown them in a pan with some frylight then transfer to an oven while you make the sauce.(12-15 mins). Fry off the onion & mushrooms, add the stock and simmer down a bit. Remove from heat and whisk in fromage frais

A word of warning though, the fromage frais was cold from the fridge, it made my sauce instantly cold so i tried very gently to warm it up and it split. I recommend using it at room temp and serving very quickly.

Bunged over some spagehetti and served with steamed broccolli.

I just weighed a stones worth of books into a bag and gave them to DH, his face was a picture. It's a a heavy bag. Imagine what ten stone feels like to lift, my poor skeleton.

oooh ans yn value is free :)

Gosh! Sounds fab! Thank you!

I will do the book thing too - good for reminding us of how well we are doing.

The book thing reminded me of this weight loss equivalents I came across on t'interweb some time ago.

If my mental arithmetic is correct (and it practically never is) I have lost the equivalent of the world's largest ball of tape and a guinea pig.

The book thing is interesting though.

Evening all, how are we all doing? I've had an okay-ish couple of days.......syns yesterday were 4 rich tea biscuits and a bag of crisps, and today has been 2 chocolate biscuits and 2 slices of bread.............which would probably be ok if I werent going to the pub later - oh dear. They mount up quickly dont they?! Have had a really busy couple of days with appointments with my eldest, as well as working all day today, am looking forward to a day off tomorrow. Oh, and am going on a hen night on Saturday to include a 3 course dinner, and buy-one-get-one-free cocktails so I'm not holding out much hope of being "slimmer of the week" on here next Tuesday

I had also lost the chemical additives that an American consumes every year. but I managed to find them again....

Ooh, fishandlilacs that recipe sounds lovely, think I'll give that a go next week!

I'm hoping to lose an automobile tyre, but could probably do with losing a mid size microwave......what a fab list!! Love it!

Ooooooo I can't keep up with you lot

Off to t'pub meet an actor friend who is good with the anecdotes. My lunchtime fritatta was so big, and followed by such a gigantic baked apple*, that I am still stuffed, so will feel less guilty about the boozeage.

*I swear the heaven, the fact you can have a baked apple stuffed with mincemeat as a HEB saved m'damn bacon when doing SW before. Pliz to tell me it is still permitted?!

fishandlilacs That meatballs recipe looks great. That goes on the list to avoid alternating soup/ salad.

WhatTheActualFuck Dear me that chart is great. An average 2 year old and his ruddy pet guinea pig for me if I get my conversions right.

AlpinePony I think I've spoken to you before on here... clamps brain in vise... didn't you have some faff to get a passport for your son? As it happens I'm only here (near Amsterdam) for another 4 weeks or so. My DH got a job in Austria so we're moving to Vienna. Hopefully all that lovely moving house stress will help out with the weight loss, eh .

TwoNoisyBoys I think hen nights are exempt, it'd be crap to go on a night like that and even have the faintest intention of moderation.

BlooferLady Meant to say congrats on your event working out well. Thread whipping by fast and my tiny brain only holds so many thoughts at once before wimpering and curling up on the floor.

I'll start of with all good intentions, I know, have even pre-ordered a fishcake salad as my main course! ignoring the cheesy potato wedges starter and lemon tart pudding but I know what I'm like.....a couple of double voddys and I'll forget I'm even supposed to be dieting! And then theres the hangover on Sunday which can only be eased with large amounts of GREASE. I'm doomed...........

2noisyboys with any luck, you'll have one of those hangovers where you can't even adverts for food on the telly make you want to heave. You know...the kind where death would be preferable? Or is it just me that suffers those?

Just back from the gym. Was really motivated tonight and swung those kettlebells with gay abandon. I fear I will regret it tomorrow when I struggle to drag my creaking carcass out of bed in the morning.

There was a notice up in the gym mfor a one-off burlesque dancing 'taster' class. What do we think? I'm intrigued but concerned that I:
a) am far too lardy
b) have all the grace and elegance of a hippo in calipers
c) well, do I need really a c) when a) and b) are such compelling reasons against humiliating myself in public? Again.

Sorry for the tragic editing errors.. you can't

Hello all. I don't seem to have manage dto actually BUY any scales yet, am relying on woblle factor for a day or so until i can get to argos.
Have got off to a flying start with fruit and yog. For brekkie and salad for lunch, but then drank 900007 glasses of wine with fishcake and oven chips for dinner. Husband is a 'feeder' and keeps offering cake, chocolates, more wine. Will power is fighting DH. Any tips there?

Does anyone know how many sins there are in a 1.5 bottles of red?

I love 'wobble factor'

WhattheactualFUCK Well if your relative writes for Private Eye I'm sure they could report almost word for word - it'd be like a bingo card for them, barristers, the tube & bumsex! As for the "burlesque dancing" - I dunno, how energetic would it be? It's hardly kettle ball is it? I saw recently Zumba described as "a class to make fat women feel better about themselves". You're definitely not too fat for Burlesque - do it for fun, just don't go expecting to be Paula Radcliffe like after 10 sessions!

One of my childhood memories is of my father waking me up and making me carry a bucket of water down the corridor to demonstrate how much I was overweight by. Do not do this with your children! :(

c4ro You are a bloody genius describing kraamhulp as a "doula" - I've always struggled to translate this and got by with "maternity nurse" or something, but I think doula is better. Yes, we've talked before - my son eventually got a birth certificate from us doing a day trip to Amsterdam and a passport by sending off to Paris - what a palava! The consulate in Amsterdam couldn't have been more lovely though - what a great bunch! I got rejected for a job in Vienna a few months ago, I hope it's not the one your husband now has!

Today I shall mostly be eating my own bile as my boyfriend is about to make me commit moider.

Right, I need to get my gym clothes on. Cycle to the gym, class and if I'm feeling really good (i.e., legs not wobbling too much) I may attempt my first C25K in years.

I don't thing the burlesque is meant as exercise as such, although body conditioning is mentioned on the blurb. I do Zumba 2-3 times a week...and I can vouch for the fact that it is a class to make fat girls feel good about themselves. It's still a decent cardio workout...it must be as it has the approval of my Personal Trainer and he's one of those fitness nazis that sneers at anything that can even vaguely be construed as pseudo-exercise (never mention Wii Fit to one of these types...the effect is not pretty!). It certainly beats the boredom factor of the cross trainer/bike/treadmill combo that used to fulfil my cardio quota.

Anyhoo, the burlesque thing is academic now as I have a prior engagement with a salt cave (don't ask! Suffice to say that I'm the type of sucker that Groupon was made for!).

Alas, not Private Eye that Uncle's DP reports for but an American news channel. An audience not entirely equipped for bumsex references, I would think.

Turns out that my kettlebell abandon may have been a little too gay last night

Just succumbed to another lemon bakewell tart to make up for the skinny caramel latte that I'd been craving but which turned out to be highly disappointing. Still, that's the packet finished so I have achieved something today

Oh I'm very Wii Fit sneery - I remember being outside a bit electrical shop when they came out and I noticed that there were streams of "larger" people leaving the shop with them tucked under their arms and I figured the slimmer people were probably at the gym/road-running. Can't fucking win as a fattie though can you? Do no exercise and you're a "fat pig", get out and do some exercise and random strangers yell abuse from car windows.

I was once skiing a black run in the Canadian Rockies and some delightful wee scamp yelled "YOU FAT FUCK!" at me from the chairlift. This was nearly 10 years ago but it still upsets me. :(

Anyway, that aside, the "exercise class" likely to make me explode with acidic rage is "pole dancing". 1. How many men at the gym do you think would sign up to the class because "it's really good excercise y'know", 2. You don't need to dress like a ho to get fit. 3. A dear real life friend used to be a stripper/pole-dancer - she doesn't feel sexually liberated - she found it seedy & dirty but she needed to pay the rent.

hahaha pleeeeeeeease get our survey published by Fox news! We could possibly kill off the entire central belt with one 60 second bulletin!

Hullo, I've been absent for a few days as have been off stuffing my face out and about. This week is NOT going well
Will go and catch up on what I've missed. Back in a tic.

oooooo i am VERY sneery about the Wii Fit as exercise - it ain't exercise if you don't want to throw up after, that's very much the B.Lady viewpoint. Let us not consider the fact I'm so unfit a session on the Wii Fit prolly would make me throw up

Well once again my eating sabotaged by myself my social life. cake and red wine last night, then hangover food all day today, and then I an having supper with a pal tonight. So that means there will be 3 days remaining this week in which I can try not to disgrace myself on THE DAY OF DOOM. Aaaaaaaaaarrrggghh!!!!!! It was ever thus - left to my own devices I am more than happy with total SW food, then once sniff of a friend hoving into view and it's like the last days of the Roman Empire all over again

Off to t'gym. 45 minutes on the cross trainer might dispense with, ooooo, half of one of the slices of cake I have inhaled so far today