Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

gosh! how exciting, i've missed so much!

bloof - was the barrister hot-hot?

I went over my syns - I only get 10 and I've eaten .....19.

My friend put cheese in the carbonara, she forgot I don't have the same syns as her.

How many does eveyone else get?

evening, I've been lurking here for a few days so I though I would say hello......."Hello". I'm on Fishes other thread too. Been SW-ing since the end of Feb and have lost a stone so far. I do go to a group but It's quite painful not gelling with the consultant at all, but need to have a weekly target to keep me on track. Bad day today hoovered up DS1s leftover chips and chicken nuggets but didn't buy fish and chips for myself so that is a positive I suppose.

Colditz - I used to get 10 but so far I managed 12 on Tues and 15 today - we'll see how it goes.

Glad your event went so swimmingly Bloof and am most intrigued as to what it could have been :)

Hello Hedgepig congrats on your stone :)

So yesterday we had a chat about me getting the band re-tightened. One of the issues is that I have to drive north of you c4ro and I live at the most southerly tip in the country. But that aside, there are certain foods I can't eat now anyway because I vom and there's a very fine line between restriction and liquid diets. JB says he wants me to get back in to the gym & eating well. Then he came home from the shops with a Toblerone for me. At one point the restriction was so bad I didn't eat for nearly two months and just collapsed with exhaustion although strangely my bloods showed my nutrient levels were all good. Odd. Stress and upset makes the band tighter, so perhaps every time I go to over-eat I should look at my bank statements!

bloofer I'm astounded and offended on your behalf. When I "worked in a brothel" (telephone maid) back in 97 (?) bumsex was 90 quid and that was from ropey ones. Not gorgeous pre-Raphaelites such as yourself.

I wonder if those doing the figures for inflation (CPI/RPI) will put bumsex in the shopping basket to fiddle the figures?

Note to self: don't post pissed

Colditz 'twas only a cocky baby barrister in his 20s. I only do the old melancholy ones with power and influence

Boo Oh it really weren't owt exciting: it was the launch of a v. important report (important only in that field and related field) but I'd edited and arranged its publication and done all the launch stuff, so it would have been my fault if the reports hadn't been printed on time, or the canapes had been late, or VIPs had gone to the wrong place. I have one of those jobs (only one of the 3 I have ) which is utterly gimpish and meaningless and unglamorous but which can go sensationally wrong. Oh look, I just bored myself back to sleep again.

I now have nearly 3 weeks' leave! HOOPLA!

Syns - Because I haven't been going to classes I dunno what my official allowance would be, so I'm just saying 10. However I out on the piss again tonight so I'll probably go over. Oh dear, if I didn't drink I suspect I would be ever so slender. Apart from the cake and cheese.....

Not sure what I'll be eating today - going to go and do a Big Fat Slimming World Shop, so the house is full of goodness.

Alpine am HOWLING at bumsex being in the basket of indicators

Now, I know you don't need my two pen'orth on the whole band thing, but I wonder whether given you now have the support of this thing, and summer's coming and you'll enjoy being more active, you should wait 3 or 4 months before making a final decision on getting the band tightened and see how it goes here first?? I suppose my feeling is that THIS (healthy eating, riding in the sun, chatting about food, getting it all off your chest and arse, is a positive experience of being good to yourself. And the band tightening is sort of punitive somehow. I mean Jeez if it works it works and if you need it, do it, but maybe see if you do need it first? Not sure if that helps at all...

Ooooo the OM (old man, for the uninitiated!) is making me beans on toast

Bloofer so glad your day went well yesterday, and interesting proposition for you if you fancied diversifying your career path too. None of the young barristers I knew back in the old days would have had it in them, to be honest, so things are looking up for the country!

Yesterday I ate a lot, which is why I can't calorie count without giving up each day at 4pm. I've discovered those weeny loaves of bread as well, which I thought were only for 90 year olds. But it seems I can have 2 weeny pieces of bread for a healthy extra, which is better than none.

So, weeny toast, poached eggs and ham for breakfast
Jacket potato, tuna and gherkin mix, salad , raspberries and ff yoghurt for lunch
weeny toast, ff cottage cheese with crabsticks and sweetcorn for a snack
roast chicken with brown rice, salad with lots of ff dressing pepped up with vinegar
Skinny cow ice cream, apple.

Am out for lunch party today and will spend the morning making cakes and goodies to take with me. Must remember to leave them there!

Question for ya Alpine? My friend had her gastric band done on a medical tourism holiday in belgium, cost her 3 grand, shes lost 8st in 2 years and has another 3 stone to go but she looks great. but she was told not to TTC for 3 years after having it by the belgian doctors. This seemed weird to me and obviously you haven't had the same advice. Your thoughts?

I got mine done in Belgium because that's where I was living at the time. I wasn't told anything about TTC - I can't imagine how it would've made a jot of difference although it is one of the reasons I don't want to get the band made very tight right now because I had such horrible ms with my last pregnancy it was hard enough as it was. A friend in Wales had her band done in Belgium too and following 20 years of infertility (had two kids before she was 16!) - she now has 2 new children and had the band 3 years ago...

Can you PM me the name of the surgeon she went with? I'm familiar with most of them.

Actually had mine done because I was at my wit's end (and single) - and thought no man would ever fuck me again never mind want to have children with me, so for me it was a step on the road to getting pregnant. Obviously this is absurd because men will fuck anything fall in love with a good woman.

It looks like they fall in love with truly wicked women too eh Pony

My food today will be:

teeny toast and beans
veg frittata with feta on top
roast tomato tagliatelli and permesan
loadsa fruit and mullerbloodylight

I'll be drinking tonight though. Hmph.

B: greek yoghurt & kiwi
L: massive prawn salad, sun-dried toms, pine-nuts, olive oil, balsalmic. Orange + apple
D: I made a Tuscan veggie stew in the slow cooker last night and DaddyDaycare is under instructions to turn it on at 2pm.

I managed to get my ipod back under control (woman in shop said "over 2 years old? buy a new one". Twat). So tomorrow morning I have my Body Pump class, tonight I'm riding the horse and saturday or after gym class tomorrow I'm going to start the C25K.

Pony your menus always make me

I am in a strop about bread already. I love toast so much and the teeny bread just doesn't cut it

Worry not, I am just venting. I'll be snacking on eggs and some more smoked salmon again in a short while.

My ipod is over 4 years old and still fine and dandy Pone - don't tell me that it is due to conk out?

Isn't it funny how people have different weak spots....mine is Things in Jars . I can't have a jar of peanut butter or tahini in the house because I'll just eat a tablespoon of the stuff every time I open the darn cupboard. That is quite plainly not my only weak spot but I like to preserve an air of mystery

The thing I have craved massively for the first couple of weeks wasn't what I expected it to be-ie choc and wine it's been hot cross buns/fruit loaf toasted and slathered in butter. I resisted and it has passed.

I have to say though, 4 weeks in and I am not craving anything really.

This is why I cannot move back to the UK. Hot cross buns. :( Not only are they sooooo good that I am unable to buy a 4-pack and leave the supermarket car-park without having troughed them all, but , my people killed Jebus and so it seems inappropriate.

Moaning! pls stop talking about Hot Cross buns I have such a huge craving for them.

Fish I'm the opposite, the 1st month I wasn't craving anything and now I am really finding it hard not to scoff biscuits, crisps etc. But I am so tired DS2 has ear problems that keep him awake at night and I feel like I haven't slept for 2.5 yrs Bleugh

so food today
B. 2 weetabix followed by nana & pear with low fat yog and a splodge of honey
L. Turkey salad with a teeny tiny of coleslaw
D. Probably an omelet and baked spud as that is all we have in. I will not hoover up the DCs left overs, honest

best go back to work before I get fired

Arfternoon all (just)! All this talk of buns and stuff is making me hungry argh! Had a bread fallout yesterday. Was making the kids sarnies and the bread just smelled so good! I stuffed pretty much a whole slice in without thinking! Gah!. But anyway, got weighed last night and was pleased to lose another 2lb, making 5.5lb so far.
Today its:
B: 2 weetabix (b), Milk (a) and some fresh pineapple
L: Jkt spud, salad and cottage cheese
D: Homemade sausages (sausage shaped pork mince with herbs and mustard) with mash and veggies yet to be determined.

Hey hedgepig have you tried the SW coleslaw? Its really good. Shredded raw cabbage, carrots and onion with a 1:1 mix of extralight mayo and fat free fromage frais. Really low in syns. Stuffed myself with it the other weekend when we had a BBQ.

Right, now I really am starving. Have a good day everyone!

Hi IWillCountToThree how did the hypno go?
Just bought 2 sessions on Groupon this morning so very keen to hear what you thought.
Mumski

ohhh bready things.

Actuelly, I tend to subsitute bread with potatoey things, and it works quite well

This morning someone cooked me diced potatoes with cherry tomatoes, with a poached egg, some trim bacon and 2 low fat sausages, and 1 slice of brown bread. It was lovely, and so filling that I've only had melon and banana for my lunch (don't get the impression that i had a paltry lunch - i had a large banana and 1/4 of a honeydew melon!)

I know it's not ideal but I'm skipping breakfasts at the moment. All through pregnancy/ Maternity Leave I was having huge bowls of crunchy nut cornflakes, with cream on as well as full fat milk. I had a polish kraamhulp (insurance provided doula who comes for the first week after you have your baby) who thought that it was really weird to put cream on breakfast cereal and it had never occurred to me before that it was a bit lardly.
I will get some muesli bars on the next trip to the shops as getting through the morning is tough on just coffees.
I'm doing well on the smaller lunches this week. They had lovely burgers today as well but I steeled myself and went with a small cheese sandwich and some mushroom soup in the canteen. Yesterday was also soup but tomato.
I am half smug, half sorry for last night, whilst the mini eggs did remain in the drawer (for now), I did eat a whole block of manner schnitten without really thinking about it (sort of chocolate paste/ wafer Austrian thing).
I really like to read your menus, some really nice ideas there. Will you mind to answer some dimwit questions I have- those of you that really know your way around the food good/ bads- are avocados OK or not such a good idea?

mumski my first session is this eve so DH can have the kids! I'm hoping i'll be way too relaxed to mn later but will update tomorrow!

Arf at bumsex and inflation I may drop this into conversation with my uncle's DP who is a finacial journalist. She'll find it hilarious...I predict cats-bum-mouth from uncle. Don't worry, Alpine I'll ensure she credits you if she uses it in her next article about inflation indicators

Mmmmmm.....crunchy nut cornflakes. I can't have them in the house as I eat them straight out of the box (milk is the work of the devil) like crisps.

I've just had a bowl of porridge. Yes, I know it's 4.26pm but I hadn't had lunch, there's feck all resembling decent food in the house. I don't know how this happened...I pride myself on keeping the fridge well stocked with healthy nutritional food at all times. Anyone looking in my fridge on a normal day could almost mistake it for Gwyneth Paltrow's (or some other lentil weaving, macrobioting munching sandal wearer). The cupboards, however, is where the shite lives and they definitely look like they belong to me.

So, I had to resist the urge to slather peanut butter and nutella on toast (DP is a carb addict otherwise I wouldn't keep bread in the house either. He's also manages to stay skinny despite consuming his bodyweight in white bread daily. The bastard.) and opt for something that would fill me and sustain me through a gym session later.

Aside from porridge with apple and cinnamon, I've had 3 rich tea biscuits, 6 grapes and a small bowl of muesli with youghurt and fresh strawberries.

Going to go and walk the hounds and try not to think any more about the peanut butter and nutella that are still taunting me from the larder....