Starting WLI and not telling DH

[Nancylancy]

Basically that's it. I know DH, family and friends will be judgemental, and so I won't be telling him or anyone else. I can't be bothered with being judged or feeling like I have to explain, so I've ordered it and will be doing click and collect, and injecting there and then. I will then carry on with diet / exercise and hope the weight starts to come off!

Is anyone else doing the same? Since I won't be talking to anyone IRL about it, I've posted here to tell someone about it!

I am overweight and have high cholesterol, I've started going to the gym and have tried to diet but I end up feeling deprived then failing miserably, I'm constantly tired and looking after my 2 kids with husband working away and a full time job, I just really want some help to feel better and make the weight loss easier. I have a terrible sweet tooth, and impulsive tendencies so when I've had a bad day or am a bit tired I go for sweet things, I comfort eat. I'm hoping Wegovy will help curb the cravings so that I can find other ways to cope.

Interested to be hear anyone else's stories and maybe create a supportive thread for those keeping their WLI's completely private.

@threescoops congratulations! I'm sure people have noticed, mumsnet tells you to never comment on weight!

I asked a colleague last year and he said he'd lost *about 10 stone, doing cardio. I'm now very sceptical 😅

I’m mid fifties, and I’m far from invisible, everyone commented on my weight loss, and I got sick of it, I also get lots of compliments.

if no one noticed, it’s either you’ve a lot more to lose or wearing the same clothes, or your colleagues are too polite to mention it as they don’t know why you’ve lost weight, ie if on purpose.

but no, older women are not invisible.

No, I still haven't told a single soul. I'm 3 months in, and I've lost nearly a stone - so very slow and steady. I'm weight lifting twice a week and have made small changes to my diet. I have stayed on a low dose. The jabs are just helping me stick to it and so because of the changes I'm making with diet and exercise, nobody has questioned it including DH, and I've told him to give me smaller portions when he cooks as I'm trying to lose weight.
I've not kept the pen in the fridge - it's hidden in a bag with all my period stuff in the bathroom.

I thought about telling him once I started making some progress, but I haven't, and I am glad I've not said a word to anyone. I DO feel like I'm putting in the work, I AM being consistent with my training and I am making the changes. Even though the jabs have helped, I know he'd think it was lazy - and my friends would judge me. I don't want to take away from my hard work. I'm proud of myself and I don't care if I needed medication to help me do it but others just don't see it that way.

I’m 30 and not a soul commented on my weight loss except my sister. I’d lose 3st and gone from size 12 to a 6-8!

Thats just really sad that that’s who you’re surrounded by, judgmental and ill informed spouse and friends, having to lie and hide your pen, rather than have emotional support. Everyone on the jabs puts the hard work in, the medication just makes the impossible possible.

That's great news that you are making steady progress @Nancylancy . I hope it continues to go well for you. I still haven't told a soul in real life and I'm nearly two years down the line. We all have our own reasons for why and as long as you are happy with that, then that is what works for you.

@Nancylancy so pleased for you.
I am not sure if I'd done it if I'd had to tell people and it's making such a difference to me with minimal side effects.
I'm also due to start a medication that is prone to weight gain, almost guaranteed.
It sounds vain, but I'm not sure I'd have accepted the meds without having control of my weight.

I'm the lightest I've been in two years and before long will be back to how I was before weight gain. Fingers crossed

@HarvestMouseandGoldenCups that's ridiculous! they must be jealous! or maybe polite

I don't have a lot more to lose and I'm visibly much slimmer than I was, plus I'm wearing a whole new wardrobe as my old clothes no longer fit me. Being in my late sixties means I no longer attract the kind of male attention I'd get in my younger days, that's the welcome kind of invisible while they focus on younger targets (although male drivers seem to feel obliged to overtake any woman with silver hair if she's driving in front of them). It's good that my former colleagues are not looking me up and down and judging my figure but looking at my face, saying I'm glowing, and liking my longer hair, asking if I've been working out.... a friend in my aqua class, where woman of all ages, shapes and sizes are obviously nearly naked, asked in a complimentary way if I'd lost weight on purpose as she had done a few years earlier, I just said yes and thanked her, we talked about the health benefits - I find people are not usually interested or nosy enough to ask more

I told DH about a week after I started and kind of blurted it out but until that moment I wasn't sure if I would. It's hard to explain but I guess it's fear of failure (again). I must have asked for support 100 times over the years and while he mostly is, it's sensitive for me. If I'm having a bad day or week I don't need someone noticing or asking me if I'm sure i should be eating that. If I'm having a good week I don't want someone egging me on cos I panic from the pressure and am more likely to fail. I didn't tell anyone and truthfully am dreading catching up with some old friends next month. One lost a good bit on WLI and talked of nothing else the last time we met. She had gained quite rapidly and is back down to where she was, but she was open and specific about weight and size. We took some photos and she pulled up old ones of the previous time we met and was poking fun at her 'fat' self, zooming in and making fat jokes. It upset me a bit cos I'm always overweight and was the same in the old photo and the whole thing left me feeling embarrassed and useless. If I tell her she will be my best champion but it will be non stop, if I don't tell her I'll feel like a fake.

I agree with the other poster, speak for yourself. My mum was getting chatted up in her 70s still, it’s an individual thing.

This post is so sad! Older people are definitely visible, they will have noticed you.

people are misreading me, I was being tongue in cheek in response to a pp who found it funny that nobody had said anything! There’s a lot of women, in a lot of different situations, experiencing changing shape and image. I’m perfectly happy, confident I’m attractive, I’m not seeking reassurance, validation, or chatting up, said I’m thrilled with the health benefits and new wardrobe, and I’ll get my coat now as I’m obviously digging myself a hole trying and failing to explain

Well done OP.

I can totally understand keeping it to yourself. People are so judgy.

Only my DH knows I’m using MJ. It’s no one else’s business, so even when I’ve been asked directly, I’ve lied 😂

28lbs gone and it’s all about the protein shakes I’m drinking and walking a bit more haha.

I was a large size 12 at Xmas and plan to go down to a size 8 by end July (which would be another 19lbs), so a big change but not life-changing like some of the amazing transformations we see on here. I think I can keep it a secret still.

It wasn’t tongue in cheek, you made a statement that isn’t true. You personally might feel invisible but that can happen at any age.