Starting WLI and not telling DH

[Nancylancy]

Basically that's it. I know DH, family and friends will be judgemental, and so I won't be telling him or anyone else. I can't be bothered with being judged or feeling like I have to explain, so I've ordered it and will be doing click and collect, and injecting there and then. I will then carry on with diet / exercise and hope the weight starts to come off!

Is anyone else doing the same? Since I won't be talking to anyone IRL about it, I've posted here to tell someone about it!

I am overweight and have high cholesterol, I've started going to the gym and have tried to diet but I end up feeling deprived then failing miserably, I'm constantly tired and looking after my 2 kids with husband working away and a full time job, I just really want some help to feel better and make the weight loss easier. I have a terrible sweet tooth, and impulsive tendencies so when I've had a bad day or am a bit tired I go for sweet things, I comfort eat. I'm hoping Wegovy will help curb the cravings so that I can find other ways to cope.

Interested to be hear anyone else's stories and maybe create a supportive thread for those keeping their WLI's completely private.

You mention injecting there and then. Have you planned where you’re going to hide the pen and do the other doses?

I didnt tell my DH to start with, he says he thinks I was fine as I was and didnt need to lose weight (my BMI was 28 and I am short and a very small build so it was a lot of extra weight on me). Only 1 colleague knew but once it started working I decided to tell him, firstly because it felt really wrong not to but also because my appetite was so low it would have become obvious.

He has hardly mentioned it other than the odd comment like 'well you wont want that as you're not eating'. Seems a bit passive to me, he'd deny this if I said it. I have lost over 30lb since 1st Nov and he hasnt mentioned my weight loss at all. Lots of other people have and they didnt know about the jabs, I have been honest with them about it though.

My kids havent noticed, in fact my sons gf who lives here was so confused when my brother asked me I'd lost weight (2 stone at that point). I genuinely don't think other people pay anywhere near as much attention as we do, especially if they are overweight also.

Everyone who knows about them has been lovely (to my face) about it all but I am glad I didnt just tell everyone straight away.

If injecting straight away then it doesnt need to go in fridge, for the 1st pen i just kept it in a bag in my wardrobe.

I dont click and collect though so once I ordered a new pen it had to go in fridge. I put it behind stuff then in a tupperware but I think it would have been harder to hide long term.

I would tell him just incase you have a bad side effect. My friend collapsed with kidney pain and thankfully her partner knew what to tell the paramedics

This definitely worried me! My mum knew within a week though as she had been put on them by her oncologist so I told her for support for her really.

That’s what I did. I knew he wouldn’t be impressed so I just… did it! He thought I had great self control haha. I’m breastfeeding now but if I go back on them again I wouldn’t tell him 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have a friend who has been on mounjaro for a year and hasn’t told her husband for similar reasons.
I totally understand not wanting the hassle of dealing with somebody else’s negative opinion.
It makes me glad to be single.
I hope wegovy helps you but it is not as effective as mounjaro. Appreciate it is cheaper but cheaper actually works out more expensive if it doesn’t work.

I’ve never told a soul in 15 months. Just quietly got on with it. Never put it in the fridge, all been fine.

I think it's your call. Nobody wants to be judged.
I told my DH before I ordered but I knew he wouldn't try to influence me but it was nice to talk it through with someone.
For a while I didn't tell anyone but I have gradually told a few close people who I know won't be judgemental.
Still haven't told my mum or sister and definitely not my mil lol. They'd all be super judgemental and I can't be bothered with it.

I've done it in secret for ages. I just hide it in my wardrobe as a PP suggested.

I worried that my OH would be anti my WLM decision, but actually he was surprisingly supportive.

he certainly appreciates the 6stone I’ve lost 🤣

NOBODY noticed my weight loss until I’d lost 3.5stone, but I was 100kg and 5’5” so pretty hefty.

they can’t tell you what to do/not do with your body, it’s better not to conceal this, as the changes you’re about to make to your life/health are going to transform your lives.

you need support, see if your provider has a facebook group or something.

ive made real life friends this way and having someone who gets it really does help

Its good to have support here if you arent telling your partner, but its your choice and you have to do whats right for you. he might find that when you lose weight he is more open to understanding why you felt the need to go this route.
I started with my partner but noone else knows and i prefer it that way, i sometimes feel that he doesnt necessarily think before he shares information and i am more private about my life in general. its nice to have something thats just between us and its nice to see the changes in us both. good luck!
at xmas when we had guests, i wrapped the pens in wrapping paper so it looked like a present . I had other presents that needed refrigeration so it worked out nicely

I started 21 months ago and have t ever told anyone. Mainly because I didnt have the bandwidth to handle judgement and general nosiness. Partly because it's not anyone else's business, I made the decision and take responsibilityfor it.

But also, I have to admit, its secret because I feel a tiny bit of internalised shame, that I couldn't just live a healthy life and needed medical intervention just to look and feel normal. I know intellectually that this is bollocks. But emotionally, that social stigma is real and hard to ward off. I've only just acknowledged to myself that this is a factor, after almost 2 years. Maybe in another year, I'll have processed it.

Good luck OP, your life is about to change!

I haven't told. I keep the pen in a thermos in my wardrobe. He knows I am dieting, but I don't plan to tell about the MJ; he is very negative about the drugs. My BMI is 28 so I am a borderline case. I am taking a low dose and it is amazing.

He doesn't notice my botox, so I think the risk of him querying MJ is low.

I also feel shame. I could, and have lost these two stone every couple of years. But I started a new business working from home, and don't have the bandwidth to get obsessive the way I need to for real weight loss. My weight was the highest it has ever been (excluding pregnancy), and it seemed better to catch it then let it creep up.

I wasn't 'obese', but I come from a family that is all 'obese' and I only stay just 'overweight' with considerable effort.

Lol same, I have had botox about 3 years and he has never noticed!

I told my DH I’d been having Botox for last 6 years and he said “WHAT, but you don’t have any wrinkles”

and I was like ‘er yeah, that’s the Botox’ 🤷‍♀️😂

How do you propose hiding a monthly £200-300 bill?

That's brilliant 😂

My DH is not in charge of my spending so this hasn't been a consideration for me personally.

I was on it for a year and didn’t tell a soul. I lost 4st and I’m now maintaining since September last year.
People have obviously noticed, but I lost it steadily and didn’t go higher than 10mg so although my appetite was reduced I wasn’t eating tiny meals, just didn’t crave snacks/sweet things and was happy to stop and leave food when getting full.

I have a personal account and access to my own discretionary funds.

My marriage has long operated on the unspoken assumption that he really doesn't want to know what I spend on clothes and the hairdressers.

The MJ is an absolute bargin compared to what I have spent on nutrition 'coaches' over the years who scrutinise My Fitness Pal entries and cheer and cajole as needed.

I am also keeping it secret from husband. I am 3 weeks in. I told him I was going to start , he was negative so I have not said anything else and kept my delivery secret. Next Pen is in the fridge hidden and current one under my bed in an old handbag. I did feel really guilty especially when I jab but feels of guilt lessening.

I had 3 days healthy eating then started on 4th day and will be doing my 4th Jab on Saturday I have lost 17lb in total so far. He has not mentioned that I am eating much less and resisting treats. I haven't told him exactly how much I have lost and he hasn't asked. I am sure when I get to goal he will say look I told you, you didn't NEED those jabs. 😂Not sure if I will come clean or not. It is on my G.P. record the prescription but obviously that is confidential.

Tell him. If you have a medical episode like someone mentioned above why risk him not being able to tell anyone?

I was thinking of doing this (when I've finished cancer treatment)

Can’t speak for anyone else but I have my own account as does dh where we transfer our personal spends to on payday.
I don’t ask what he spends his on, he doesn’t ask what I spend mine on. Our own business really.