When did the 'concerned' comments start for you?

[Everyothernamewasalreadyinuse]

Am part way through my MJ Journey, having been a February Starter. Now don't get me wrong, i have lost a lot of weight (over 100lb) so far, so am looking very different to how i started - but i am by no means wasting away, looking dangerously thin or frail . In fact i have just dipped into a 25.7 bmi so just into a healthy weight for my height bracket.

Has anyone else had comments like this, that seem a bit ott ?
I get i look different, but am still 10 stone, so i don't think i would draw a look in a crowd, but over the past couple of weeks i seem to have had these comments and it is starting to grate a little bit - not one of these people commented when i was knocking on the door of 18 stone.

Do you think that with quite quick weight loss it takes a while to settle into your new size if that makes sense, or is it just people being a bit knobbish?

It is rude of them to comment and must be very disheartening to hear. In answer to your question though, until very recently, sudden weight loss often meant a miserable illness. I think we are pre-programmed to worry if someone loses weight in a hurry. In a similar way if I happen to wear my glasses rather than contacts one day I am guaranteed to get a few, ‘Are you ok, you look tired’ comments. Grrhh.

I never got that because I lost weight while I was off work having a number of operations - I worked from home for a year.
I got back 5 stone lighter and nobody knew who I was 😂

Well done that's a great weight loss. I didn't use wli but lost 5 stone over 18 months and started getting comments when just above a healthy bmi (so still overweight). My aim was to hit mid of bmi healthy range (which ive been at for two years) and I still get comments about 'putting on weight. I'm 54kg, bmi 22.5 (only 5ft1) a size 6 and my gp is very happy with my weight so I explained this once (incase they are genuinely worried) and then just ignore/divert conversation as I think its rude and would never say anything about someone's weight.

It’s not something I’d ever say to her but when my MIL lost weight, she did look really unwell, it also aged her a lot. But, she was happy with how she felt and how she looked and that’s all that mattered. I can see how someone might be concerned, but people need to keep their comments to themselves.

I understand how you feel. I lost a large amount of weight last year and experienced similar. No one mentioned my previous weight gain, no one asked if I was okay or offered support. So I’m annoyed when they mention my weight loss. My SIL is obsessed and always asks if I’m eating enough. My friends who are losing weight get the same.

10st 2lb and bmi of 27 and it’s just started. Dont go too far, you don’t want to look ill. Be careful, at your age weight loss is very aging (54!).

I just ignore ignore ignore.

Yeah I've been getting quite a few in recent weeks. Genuinely meant I think - a lot of 'you're done, surely?' and 'if you lose anymore you'll look anorexic'. One time, I explained that my doctor had stated a BMI of 21-22 was optimum for health and he supported my desire to get to that and was told that the doctor was irresponsibly 'promoting eating disorders' which rankled a bit, as it implied that I, as a competent adult, was at risk of being coerced into starving myself and couldn't be trusted to know what was best for my own health.

I just smile, nod and say 'I'm really happy with my goals, thanks'. I'm 9 stone 13 and 5"2, at a slightly overweight BMI so comfortable in the knowledge that a stranger would not see me and think I was too thin. Its just perception as these people have an image of me in their heads which I'm now subverting. Also, to use a Mumsnet favourite phrase, as a society we have rather lost sight of what a healthy weight looks like.

I think people have lost the sight of what healthy actually is. So many people are overweight ( me included earlier this year) that even the top of healthy bmi looks good now compared to how many of us were and are overweight or obese.
So they think you’ve gone too far because the comparison is a big swing the other way

I had a "how long have you been on mounjaro as you are so slim?" from the doctor and HCA today. I'm a BMI of 28 currently but a chunk of that is boob weight (36F), but even accounting for my shape, I'm still a fair bit overweight.

I've lost 6 stone and my mum keeps telling me I 'look ill' however my bmi is still obese and I still have a fair amount to lose!

Agreed.

When I told my sister I was starting she said I was being ridiculous and my weight was fine. I had a BMI of 32, weight related high BP and a dress size 14/16!

I will be staying on until 21 BMI or thereabouts, so these 'you look ill/old' comments will start soon enough. I am at 25 BMI currently and still carrying loads of excess weight on my middle, with my waist size in the 'danger zone'.

25 BMI for me seems excessively generous and definitely not a healthy weight.

Ridiculous comments from HCPs!

My GP in contrast is wonderful and really supportive of my journey down to low 20s (though he's not prescribing, I am getting from a pharmacy like everyone else).

About BMI 27.

Oh I never had that, I was bmi 32, lost 6 and a half stone, now bmi 20, spent a lot of time in the gym, look toned, I only get compliments telling me I look great.

got one female relation who doesn’t comment, and sighs heavily if I’m complimented in her presence, we all pretend it’s not happening.

but I do look better, my skin is clear and bright, my hair is looking healthy, and I e changed my wardrobe up, I’m no longer slobbing around in black stretchy clothes with a fat face and three chins.

my husband made a few comments on the way down that I was getting too thin, but he’s totally changed his tune and often comments I look lovely.

fhink I’d be a bit flummoxed if anyone said something negative like fhey were concerned,

Of course they haven’t - they are just used to seeing you / the OP much heavier. It’s a change. I’ve never been overweight and not a single person has ever told me I look unwell / too thin / gaunt etc. lots of people IRL are overweight but the vast majority of people in the media are not so no one is confused about what is overweight looks like.

I suspect there’s some jealousy (for some people) about your weight loss though.

This. If I asked it'd be worry that you had either cancer or haemochromatosis- have had people close to me shock me with sudden weight loss for both reasons.

Most people in your life care about you and your health more than your appearance.

I lost six stone - BMI 36.9 to 20. No one ever asked if I was ok, similarly no one ever said I looked good. But whilst I was still "overweight", the sarcastic "fall through a grid" "don't lose anymore" "you'll look ill soon" comments started.

I’m not sure, I’ve seen threads on here about perfectly healthy weight models where the op thinks they are underweight, and some posters will agree, but that’s at the lower end of the scale.

i do agree envy is a big part of the comments and i do feel sad people are surrounded by people making horrible comments to them.

i feel rather lucky to not have that, we should all onky be surrounded by people who love, like and care for us,

Only my mother and I cheerfully ignore her 😂
im not actually losing weight anymore, ive been sitting around the same weight give or take a couple of pounds since September.
I do look slender and my face has tightened up. My face was beginning to look a bit drawn about 6 weeks ago but despite not really gaining or losing anything it seems to have settled and i look fine again.
Happy where i am and while I really don’t take any notice of my mums comments if dh said I had gone too far I’d listen to him 😂 but he hasn’t really commented either way (he’s a wise man!).

ETA I just read the op again and the question was ‘when’! I think it was about 3 months in, I did drop weight very quickly in the beginning, it was about 3 stone in 3 months, I had a lot to lose though and I basically stopped eating all the processed stuff had been eating and switched to a lot of raw whole foods and lean protein so it really came off very quickly. I’m a year down the line now, 6.5 stone down and feeling very healthy!

I’ve lost a total of 6st 12.6lb, current BMI 31.2, and have another 3st 5lb to lose to get to just below BMI 25 (although I’m not sure I actually want to get down to that. Saw a couple of friends recently who I hadn’t seen in several months, and they were constantly discussing how “skinny” I’d got and that I need to stop now before I waste away. Pointed out that I’m still actually significantly overweight so not stopping just yet, thank you! I think it’s just that they’re so used to seeing me a lot bigger, so their perception is skewed. Both friends are very slim and definitely lighter than I’m aiming to be when I reach my goal!

I'd been massively overweight for a while.
Then in covid, it got ridiculous.

I've lost a chunk since then, but still huge
And yoyo-ing up and down the same 2 stone

I'm now on WLIs to break that cycle

A work friend regularly says "don't lose any more"

I'm like... mate, I've got a BMI of 28.9

I've done well so far, (which I'm pleased about) but I'm still a VERY big lady.

There is more work to do here!

I have lost 3 stone and still mostly waiting for people to notice.

Interesting
I've got about that to lose and when I look at old pictures of me, I don't look that different. I just feel crap as well as all the health stuff but it's strange that I don't look that different because I'm short it can be disguised with clever dressing, but I feel wrong

One of DH's friends is on these and people are making comments that he looks ill and he's losing too quickly, et cetera, et cetera I think men usually do lose weight quickly though

But the people telling him he looks ill and he shouldn't lose more, obviously it makes him cross but he's also still overweight! I think he lost about five stone. And he's had a lot of red flags from his doctor. But people still say this to him I don't know why and I think it's rude.

After I’d lost about 50 pounds. I’ve now lost about 95 with another 10 to go. My bmi is 26.
its always women who’ve always been thin who comment at how I’m taking it too far etc. it’s ridiculous. Ignore, ignore.

I braced myself for these sorts of comments but they never came, and my BMI is around 23 now.

A few people have noticed but only positively. I'm a weight lifter so pretty strong and shapely, nobody could accuse me of looking ill but I'm dramatically different to how I was a year ago. after losing 23kg.

Weirdly, my mother hasn't commented at all and she is literally obsessed about weight - her own and everyone else's. Never shuts up about it.