When did the 'concerned' comments start for you?

[Everyothernamewasalreadyinuse]

Am part way through my MJ Journey, having been a February Starter. Now don't get me wrong, i have lost a lot of weight (over 100lb) so far, so am looking very different to how i started - but i am by no means wasting away, looking dangerously thin or frail . In fact i have just dipped into a 25.7 bmi so just into a healthy weight for my height bracket.

Has anyone else had comments like this, that seem a bit ott ?
I get i look different, but am still 10 stone, so i don't think i would draw a look in a crowd, but over the past couple of weeks i seem to have had these comments and it is starting to grate a little bit - not one of these people commented when i was knocking on the door of 18 stone.

Do you think that with quite quick weight loss it takes a while to settle into your new size if that makes sense, or is it just people being a bit knobbish?

Well you can talk, the topic has made you quite spiky too!

The other day I got an email “Don’t lose anymore weight, you’ll disappear”. BMI is 22.

Not at all.
I’m just calmly answering questions and giving my opinion as I thought the OP might be interested.

Do we know if the OP has high cholesterol or blood
pressure? Is this medication necessary long term for her?

The OP has a medical condition called OBESITY

Are you a clinician @Financial and can you verify as such with Mumsnet?

I don’t know I don’t really care tbh…this is a thread about unsolicited opinions based on appearance, I don’t know why you’re expecting her to divulge that medical information to you?

Lots of super defensive responses.

I stated that I would be concerned about unnecessary long term medication. I’m not sure why posters then felt the need to pile in and justify why they’re taking it long term for necessary health conditions.

Anyone being prescribed mounjaro legitimately IS taking it for a NECESSARY health condition, either OBESITY or overweight with a CO-MORBiDITY. Maybe start your comments with the assumption that people are not breaching prescribing guidelines and you'll find you get to engage in a more calm conversation.

There’s a girl I know who’s been on MJ for 7 months and she has lost weight drastically that she now looks gaunt, is losing hair rapidly, she has gone from being a (I think) healthy looking girl to now looking like one wrong slip and she’d snap. She really does look worse for it, her eyes are dark, her hair thin, she’s so pale, she has aged 10 years at least. I know people have asked her if she’s ‘done’ now - she says no! I’m worried that for some with perhaps body dysmorphia or similar, this could be really dangerous. I have other family and friends that are on it and have had a more gradual approach and look far better, I think some people go a bit mad on it.

I think people are generally commenting out of genuine concern. When people lose weight quickly, it tends to make their face look quite gaunt and haggard for a while as there's no longer the same fat padding things out and masking some of the signs of ageing. So whilst the person losing weight thinks "but I'm BMI 25 still" or whatever, the person looking at them is seeing the sudden drop in weight and the impact on their face. That can be quite shocking, particularly if you've not seen them in a while. To the person losing weight it isn't obvious what the fuss is all about as they see the change so gradually.

Also, I think that a lot of people on jabs are losing weight but aren't necessarily getting all the nutrients they need, which can also make them look ill even if they're thinner.

In my professional and social circles being overweight is fairly unusual, so it's not that I have lost perspective on what healthy looks like. Quite the opposite, people who are overweight stand out. But of course I then notice when they're suddenly looking very different facially or just look unwell as they are losing weight.

I wouldn't dream of saying anything to them though. I always think it's best to say nothing when it comes to people's weight. I'm very mindful of how much emotion is tied up in it all and me saying I'm worried about how they look isn't really going to help the situation.

I have lost over 5 stone and I have had a tummy tuck and upper arm lift.
I am smaller than I have ever been and it’s been life changing.
however, I get comments all the time from people. Saying I’m too thin ( I’m not) and that I don’t want to lose anymore weight. I am looking gaunt etc and asking what I am eating
funnily enough no one ever said I was too fat when I was literally obese.

I was just defending the OP because your faux concern is laced with judgement and completely irrelevant to the thread. I’m a healthy weight and never needed WLI, this just came up on my active, so no skin in the game from my side.

It would be interesting to compare the comments being received:
by people eating really healthily and weight training whilst losing weight, to the ones who dont.

I think there is an issue with the rate of weightloss. The generally trope is that 2lb a week is safe, but in reality with traditional diets the chances of sustaining 2lb a week every week for 6 months or even a year are extremely low, but this is not uncommon with mounjaro, and some people are going even faster.

After the initial 16lb in 4 weeks shock loss, I've averaged 0.66lbs a week since (43lb lost so far). I went to a higher dose at once point and came back down again after a few weeks as i was losing 2.2lb a week every week at a point when i was already below bmi 30. If i have too much calorie deficit i have no energy to exercise anyway, and I've always socialise around sport activities, also I'm doing this to feel well, not tired and constipated!

I think there needs to be a review and tighter guidelines around rate of loss and dosing, especially once below BMI 30. I would hypothesese that there is a case for quicker weight loss above bmi 30 or 35 at it's balancing the damage being done to the body by the excess weight with the damage of too rapid a weight loss.

It's early days of WLI, the next decade will be very interesting.

Lucky you. I've had a stranger in the street loudly say to her friend "look at that girl, she must be anorexic", and several other people in the past express concern about my weight. Rude.

I've never had any eating issues. I am naturally thin and do a lot of sport.

I think some people do look better less thin. Including myself actually, I loved how I looked when I was pregnant and put on weight. But I was still in a healthy weight range. My friend lost quite a lot of weight last year by calorie counting and (I didn't say this to her) it did make her look older and quite haggard.

Do people think that telling people they look haggard, or thinking it and not saying it, is important and valuable? I’m not losing weight from morbidly obese to healthy because of vanity, it’s about health. I am more than happy to swap looking fat-faced whilst morbidly obese for looking apparently haggard whilst at a healthy weight. Looking haggard means nothing health wise, whereas being at a healthy weight and maintaining it is vital for my health.

I think sometimes people can look gaunt in the face when they lose a lot of weight which is what prompts the concern. It’s very rude to comment though.

My DM lost a few stone with slimming world years ago and she did look unwell even though she wasn’t underweight.

Certainly from my perspective, it's not the aesthetics of their face. It's the shock of seeing someone, who used to look radiant, suddenly having hollow cheeks, sunken eyes and just generally looking really unwell. I can't help the fact that my gut reaction in my head is "gosh you look really unwell". But of course I don't say it because I know they're wanting to lose weight for good reason.

I think the effect is less noticeable in those who are making a real effort to ensure a balanced diet with lots of omega 3s etc.

"I think the effect is less noticeable in those who are making a real effort to ensure a balanced diet with lots of omega 3s etc." I don't see how you could possibly know who is managing a balanced diet with lots of omega 3s etc unless you know them very well and they detail their diet to you.

I'm glad that you think people who are morbidly obese, or just obese, look radiant. I certainly didn't feel radiant when I was obese. I thought I had a puffy moon-face with several chins, and bad skin. My skin has never been better since being on Mounjaro. I don't get any breakouts which I used to get every month.

That's a very good point. I can totally understand people wanting to just get on and lose the weight, and that sometimes the risks outweigh the benefits. But for a lot of people targeting a slightly slower loss might be better and also help to ensure they're getting all the nutrients they need as they lose weight. I wish there was a lot more professional support for people on the jabs so that there were reliable expert sources of information to help people get the best from jabs for their circumstances.

I'm basing my comments on the few people I know well who have gone down this route and talked openly about it. Clearly I can't comment on everyone.

Congrats on your weight loss.

I think some people find it really hard to get their heads around a big change in someone's appearance.

I lose about 4 stone something like 7 years ago.

I still get comments from my family - 'you look so slim', 'you've lost weight'

I'm like no, I lost weight 7 years ago, sigh. Do you just have an image in your head of me as an overweight person from 7 years ago?!

The faux concern is also annoying, I've been there too.

To be honest there are associates I have seen and they have lost a LOT of weight and look lovely and healthy.

However - there is this one lady who was approx size 16/18. She has also lost a lot of weight - but I just want to scream at her to STOP. She looks so frail and just totally unhealthy. If I were closer to her - I would risk damaging the friendship and advise her to stop.

All I am saying is that - sometimes there may be an element of truth in what people are saying (especially if you know thesese people are genuine/love you).

I've lost weight eating healthily and weight training AND using mounjaro as an aid.

BMI is now 28, I'd like to get to 25 and have just over a stone to lose to get there.

No comments that I've lost too much and in fact wholly positive that I'm looking really good. I dont think this will alter with another stone off.

Likewise. I'm on mounjaro, i haven't eaten added sugars since i started it, i assume @PeopleTheyAintNoGood considers that healthy eating. I've also always exercised.