Everyone just hates fat people

[mamabeeboo]

Yes I'm fat and yes I'm taking the WLI.

I've had it out with a friend of a friend during a catch up dinner yesterday and I'm fuming.

I've lost some weight and still have a good 5 or so stone more to go before I'm anywhere near the 'normal' BMI category. So no, I'm not wasting away or disappearing, or losing weight too fast.

The mistake I made was being honest about the jabs. But I stand by it, I think it's important to get healthy, regardless of how you do it, just get there.

ANYWAY, this person has suddenly decided to feel concerned for my health, now that the loss has become noticeable. With some silent nods from others about how you should 'just eat less and move more'. No shit is that what was supposed to do?!

A big discussion about:
just have willpower
just have smaller portions
do it the normal way, you don't know what you're putting into your body
it's not healthy
just put down the fork
it's about dicipline
it's not really losing weight though, is it (huhh??)
it's more rewarding to do it the normal way so you can feel achievement

It's gotten me thinking of how so many people just hate fat people. You want us to pay for being fat, to suffer at the gym doing workouts we don't like or can't do with joint pain and back pain etc. You want us to 'just have willpower' like it's that easy. You want us to try all the diets and fail so you can feel superior with your 'discipline' and that you 'look after your body'.

You hate the fact that these WLI have levelled the playing field.

I said all this yesterday and it became very frosty. These aren't my friends, I was there for the birthday girl, but I won't sit there and take it.

I'm posting because I'd love to hear what you might have heard when talking about WLI. (Or if anyone agrees with the above 🤔)

lol!

You're great, Im only on page 18, I hope you can keep this up for the rest of the thread. Brilliantly funny.

@PalePinkPeonyas a PP said I haven’t learnt anything new since I started MJ, I’ve been reading books and listening to podcasts for years, covering fasting, 5:2, gut health, UPF’s and WLI’s, but I now feel like it is worth applying it because it doesn’t feel like an uphill struggle that is making no difference whatsoever.
I’ve lost the weight and I do not want it back again, before whatever I did never seemed to make a difference, the drug has freed me enough from that cycle to feel like I’m worth the effort and that I have clear image of what being overweight was and being a healthy weight is. You forget when you’re that overweight what it feels like and maybe you do convince yourself that you’re ok. I certainly didn’t hate myself and my weight didn’t stop me from doing anything but I feel so much better now and things aren’t a struggle. It’s very easy to get used to a new normal, weight gain over the long term isn’t always quick and definitive it can be slow and insidious and all of a sudden you’re the wrong side of 16 stone on the scale and just eating normal food, not binging just existing got you there. I’ll hands up to eating too many cakes and biscuits, but I didn’t care I weighed that much already, wasn’t getting heavier and my body fought me when I tried to lose more than half a stone and life was fine so there you go.
The MJ gives me a shot at a massive reset and I am taking it with both hands and running with it.

I am in the process of losing weight via a change of diet plan, it works fine. I lost a stone in 5 weeks. Just can't understand the WLI personally because apparently you need to stick to a sensible diet in order for the injections to work...so what's the point in the injections then? The injections are probably doing nothing...your parallel change in diet is. I see it the same as vaping, it's not been around long enough for people to know what the long term health risks are so why would you take it? I'm not having a go at anyone...I just genuinely don't understand this new fad of WLI as a quick fix. It's not "getting healthy" it's potentially putting health at risk.

This sounds like absolute pharmaceutical company written nonsense.

.

@Millie90 it's really easy to find out the answers to this kind of question online - online pharmacies all have this kind of information on their websites.

The only way anyone loses weight at a basic simplistic level is to eat fewer calories than you use. WLI don't force your fat to melt off you, they work on the complex systems between your brain and your gut to mimic natural hormones that regulate your appetite and your hunger. So you feel less hungry, get fuller quicker and stay full for longer. It regulates your blood sugar so you don't get highs and lows which can drive hunger/cravings.

All of that enables people to stick to a calorie deficit long term, resulting in weight loss. That is helpful for people who have not managed to do that on their own, hence being obese.

These medications have been tested and researched for years, like all other new medications that come onto the market. There is no reason why these medications would be likely to have as yet unknown serious long term side effects, as much as people seem absolutely desperate for them to!

"This sounds like absolute pharmaceutical company written nonsense." Wow.

Do you say this about anything that sounds a little bit more complicated than "just eat less"?

A stone in 5 weeks is just a crash diet. That's not very healthy at all.

apparently you need to stick to a sensible diet in order for the injections to work...so what's the point in the injections then?

They help people to stick to sensible diet, of course. If 'just eat less, what's the problem' works for you then great, you don't need them.

No food noise. Sorry, I know it's not what anyone wants to hear, but no food noise. I didn't even know what it was until I read this thread. I'm only responding because so many people are suggesting that everybody has food noise and food cravings, and have to deprive themselves, but really, they don't. Some people just never experience that.

I never think about food until it gets to the point of wondering what to cook for dinner. I only eat when I'm hungry and I don't really have a sweet tooth. Not anorexic, not bulimic, but I am vegetarian and teetotal. I cook every day, pretty much. I never work out, but I do walk for an hour each day for my mental wellbeing. Post menopausal now, but still not changed weight or shape. I never set out to be slender, it's just how it is. I don't have to work at it.

It's not a stealth boast. Literally the only time I really ever think about my weight is when threads like this crop up, and people start arguing about fat shaming/skinny shaming. And yes, slender people are hated/resented/judged too. But, FWIW, no I don't hate fat people and I don't judge people. I have no issue with weight loss injections - people should do what is right for them and ignore the opinions of others.

@ScouserInExile That is a very measured and sensible post. Thank you.

Agree, I think that's a very helpful summary @ScouserInExile!

Your post doesn't come over as boastful at all, just as a matter of fact comment about your experience without any implications about anyone else or any disdain.

I agree with you, that not everyone has food noise, and I know that because I didn't have it until 10 years ago. It's really hard to suddenly develop it and not know why you suddenly have to stockpile high-calorie food to binge. I still don't know why, I know it's linked to a traumatic experience at that time but I don't understand it, I don't understand the science behind that reaction. I do know that 'eat less, move more' doesn't combat those feelings. I can only manage the symptoms of it as best I can and so far, Mounjaro has turned out to be 'the best I can'.

The other thing I’ve come across is that some people are really resistant to the idea that you’re fat enough to “qualify” for WLI. I’m 5’6” and large-framed (I suspect my actual hip bones are at least a size 12) and I am obese. Well into the obese category. I am a size 18-20 and could lose half my body weight without dipping in the “underweight” BMI. And yet if I ever mention weight loss or diet (which I don’t bring up but sometimes it comes up in conversation) people will say “oh but you’re not that overweight”. Maybe they are just being polite but I suspect there is a lot of that mumsnet classic “lost sight of what a healthy weight is” at work.

So maybe some people think it’s “cheating” because they don’t believe you’re really “obese enough” and should just diet+exercise like someone who just needs to lose half a stone to get back in their size 10s.

This is true. There was another one of these threads a month or so ago where plenty of posters were arguing that someone who was size 14 couldn't possibly be obese. I hadn't realised until then that some people really underestimate what is included in the obese category.

So your grandmother told you that your mum was never overweight, but also that she was 5lbs overweight? She was plump then?
Of course, we'd never write that about a child now, but it seems that she was indeed plump, or am I still not understanding?

Because I'd beat myself up when I fell off the healthy eating wagon and spiral into self loathing and saying what's the point. I couldn't stick to it, I would snack and graze, I wasn't eating that badly and exercise regularly but the weight wasn't shifting. I'm ADHD and I was craving the dopamine hit that sugar and carbs give you then crash quite significantly impacting my mood and thus the never ending cycle of shame.

The injections have stopped all that and even if I manage to eat something sugary it doesn't lead to a spiral anymore. I don't crash and think, what's the point anymore. What a wonderful life it is without constant guilt, anxiety and shame.

Neither Wegovy nor Mounjaro are used "off-label" for weight loss. They are both licenced for weight loss. Wegovy is starting to be used off-label for binge eating disorder after some studies showing that it helps with that.

I'm probably going to get flamed, I agree with the people saying it is in some ways, willpower and eating less /moving more.

1. If it was that simple, obesity would be rare.
2. Tell me you've never had binge eating disorder without telling me...

Thank you for explaining so clearly the effect that binge eating has. To add my own experiences to what you've said:

It's like something or someone else is behind the steering wheel inside me when it happens. I'm not in control of my body any more. People who've not experienced it just don't get it. Every culture has a religious idea of demonic possession or possession by magic users. I think that possession is a pre-scientific attempt to explain compulsive behaviours such as OCD, self-injury, and binge eating.

WLIs have stopped it, unless I'm coming down with a migraine, and at that point the urge to consume sugar should be heeded because it helps with recovery. WLIs have certainly stopped the "entire pizza and pint of Ben and Jerry's" urges.

It's also my lived experience of starting on them.

I don't even want any Ben and Jerry's any more, never mind eating the entire pint after a whole pizza, knowing that doing so will make me feel sick for hours and still not being able to stop myself.

People just have no discipline. It’s always the easy way out.

Sure, Jan.

I quit smoking, relapsed two years later, and quit again. I didn't use quit aids either time. Smoking was still legal in pubs and cigarettes were still displayed in shops, so I faced plenty of temptation. Yet, I'm smoke-free. Being able to stop smoking without quit aids is not the sign of someone with poor discipline.

It was easier to cope with nicotine cravings without quit aids than it was to lose weight without Wegovy. And that's before considering the absolute hell that is binge eating disorder.

The injections don't make a person thin. They give the person the ability to make the healthy choices that will make them thin. It is morally no different from using nicotine patches to quit smoking.

Mine too.

Well, when some people won’t accept what academic research reports and the people themselves taking the medication are saying, you start to wonder what else is going on.

Perhaps the OP is right and it does come down to hate.

The Ops question was do people hate fat people? I think they do.
I spent twenty years being 5-8 stone heavier than I should have been due to steriods and uncontrolled autoimmune disease. I had been a athlete prior to my illness and could eat anything although I didn't. UPF was not an option for me as I had nutrition training and didn't eat meat.
The shock of being ill with no cure plus two tragic bereavements resulted in a drastic change to my life. I spiraled into alcoholism and fatty food eating. Cheese, & crisps were my thing but I'd eat them in private such was the distain from others. I became one of only two big women in my friendship group. It was so nasty that I used to be constantly excluded from things, walks, days out etc.
I've now lost six stone and I get asked all the time if I've been on the jabs. I only took Wegovy for three weeks due to undiagnosed gallstones. I now have to have my gallbladder out. I'm in agony daily whilst I wait for my op.
What I can tell you is that it stopped the booze noise. Even after three years of being AF I never felt that. I also couldn't eat fried food (but that could be the gallbladder).
I've seen people lose ten stone on these drugs and they're a lot safer than baratric surgery. Women were going overseas and coming back very unwell or even dying. The rates of surgery have significantly dropped. Unless you have known the misery and judgement of obesity you will not understand. I was a GB record holder and then a person that others would insult in the street daily. Fat phobia is very real.

How would you feel if you did this (watched what you ate and exercised 5-6 times per week) and never lost or maintained your weight? Because that’s what us cheaters have to live with. You are just fortunate diet and exercise works for you. Don’t be so ignorant