What is the smallest, simplest wedding or civil partnership we could have?

[UnreliableNarrators]

Together 20 years, neither of us have ever had any interest in getting married and especially not in a big ceremony. We have wills leaving everything to each other and all property and bank accounts are already joint, so it didn't seem necessary. However recently advised to make something legal for the sake of pension rights if we split (which seems very unlikely but I suppose you never know) or for next of kin in medical situations (not desperately urgent, as I have no family and his are very reasonable people I can't imagine disagreeing with anyway).

BUT I absolutely do not want this to be a big thing. Ideally I would have us go to a solicitor's office and just sign papers like you do when buying a house. That doesn't seem like a thing? According to the local council website, we can book a small registry office ceremony but they won't supply witnesses. I really hate the idea of getting friends involved to come and witness, I feel like it would inevitably become something more than what it is - a legal situation, completely unrelated to the fact that our lives are already entwined, he is my person of choice, we have raised a kid together etc. I love him, I just don't want a fuss. And my partner is slightly ND so he would also hate it, even more probably. I only want ourselves there and if necessary two strangers who could efficiently sign the register when required and otherwise be basically not involved.

I've looked at hotels but they all are offering wildly expensive over the top stuff like nights away and lunches for 12 as a minimum (as we wouldn't be bringing child, can't be a holiday or abroad etc, can't afford that just now anyway).

SURELY there must be a cheap simple option I am missing?

Grateful for any ideas, but if you want to say "hey why not just enjoy it and make a small party out of it," thanks but no thanks. I just don't want to.

I have seen people post on here for witnesses for their wedding

The witness doesn't need to be someone you know

Just get married in the registry office and pull
two people in from the street to act as witnesses.

Just the two of us, 🎶😂we can make it if we try🎶 congratulations!! 🥂
Sure, don’t loads of people rock up to the registry office and just signed the book and go for a nice dinner? And a nice slow walk around your favourite city.? However opportunities for a good party as we age become fewer and fewer so..

Just go to a registry office and book it. Then take 2 people with you as witnesses. All done in 30 mins max

Registry office.
2 strangers from the street.
10 minute ceremony.
Done

We just chose two friends who were available at short notice in central London during the daytime — not friends we were very close to, but one was a resting actor and the other was on gardening leave, so we knew they could be free. We said don’t dress up — we won’t be. I wore jeans and a trenchcoat and DH bought a rose for my hair at the flower stall outside the register office, the ceremony lasted all of ten minutes, and then we went for a wonderful lunch with our witnesses. I think the actual wedding cost about £200? It was lovely, low-key and exactly what we wanted.

But my question is, how do I avoid having to take two people I know as witnesses?

I don't think it's practical to hope that two random people off the street will agree to do this. The venue would need to be booked, there will be a time slot, what if I can't get someone in the time? I need it to be someone whose job it is, but apparently registry staff aren't allowed to.

Advertising for witnesses is an idea. But again, what if they let you down by not turning up?

I hate parties, I'm fine never having any again.

Registry office and they are very used to anyone in the office being used as a witness that's what we did. Quick and simple. We did the food shop after 😂
Congratulations

That would be my idea, well maybe not the food shop, but the ordinariness of it all! Sadly in my council the staff are not allowed, it says on the website.

Registry office, two witnesses. You could have friends or just ask on here, there are often people doing that.

If you ask friends then you can go to lunch afterwards if you want - nearby pub or restaurant. But you don't have to.

Our friends were married at the registry office. Just the four of all wearing jeans. In and out in what seemed like minutes. Burger and chips and a few pints in the pub and we all went home. Best wedding I've ever been to.

The thing about asking friends is, I actually don't want to tell anyone about it. I don't want it as a topic of discussion. It's weird, we've been together all this time and to me it's not a public thing to involve other people in, I can't really explain it but that's how I feel.

Oh maybe a new rule they don't allow although I can't see for what reason. Is it in a busy place the registry office? Usually a town hall type location could get two people off the street? I know there is uncertainty but I'm not sure how you would do it without any uncertainty really.

Our friends picked us because they knew were were the least likely amongst their friends to get all face fanning about honeymoons, favours and veils. They asked the week before, we said yes. We met them at the registry office and bosh.

We went to our registry office with 2 friends as witnesses, nobody else. The meal we had out was more elaborate than the wedding!

I wouldn’t try to get someone off the street. I used to walk past a popular register office on my way to a previous job, and often saw harassed-looking couples stopping passersby. I did act as a witness a couple of times when I had time, but usually I didn’t. It struck me as adding unnecessary stress to something you want to be easy. Our register office had told us they would not supply witnesses as staff were losing too many hours to it, so we decided that targeting friends we could trust not to make a big deal of it was the lesser of two evils.

Remember to re-do your wills after. The marriage invalidates the existing ones.

How about arriving at the register office an hour and a half early and asking two random elderly people to be witnesses? You would have time to offer them a cup of coffee and a piece of cake before the ceremony and they wouldn't have jobs you rush back to.

We are doing exactly this for the same reasons. We have had to ask a couple who are friends to witness for us. So far no fuss or pressure as we haven't told any other family or friends

What if you used taskrabbit and hired two people to be witnesses .Takes some of the uncertainty out of it?

If you don't mind saying whereabouts you are, you will get mumsnetters volunteering to help you. Once you've booked the registry office so you know the date and time, you can ask people to DM you on here, then pick 2 of them. As others have said, it's been done on here before. My DB and his wife waited until both their children were over 16 then used them as witnesses. They got married in jeans too. I hope you can work it out and get what you want OP.

I wouldn't risk having to find two witnesses 'off the street,' - you will be a bit stuck if no-one is willing. Our local registry office is a bit out of the way and no-one really passes.
I really think you need to ask in advance - or advertise for strangers? No idea if people are willing to do this.

CREAR wee weddings. We did it and they supply witnesses.

I don't where you are, but in Islington, you can literally have just an office.

Try this!

Is there someone who does occasional things for you like pet sitting or cleaning that you could ask on payment of their usual rate?