What is the smallest, simplest wedding or civil partnership we could have?

[UnreliableNarrators]

Together 20 years, neither of us have ever had any interest in getting married and especially not in a big ceremony. We have wills leaving everything to each other and all property and bank accounts are already joint, so it didn't seem necessary. However recently advised to make something legal for the sake of pension rights if we split (which seems very unlikely but I suppose you never know) or for next of kin in medical situations (not desperately urgent, as I have no family and his are very reasonable people I can't imagine disagreeing with anyway).

BUT I absolutely do not want this to be a big thing. Ideally I would have us go to a solicitor's office and just sign papers like you do when buying a house. That doesn't seem like a thing? According to the local council website, we can book a small registry office ceremony but they won't supply witnesses. I really hate the idea of getting friends involved to come and witness, I feel like it would inevitably become something more than what it is - a legal situation, completely unrelated to the fact that our lives are already entwined, he is my person of choice, we have raised a kid together etc. I love him, I just don't want a fuss. And my partner is slightly ND so he would also hate it, even more probably. I only want ourselves there and if necessary two strangers who could efficiently sign the register when required and otherwise be basically not involved.

I've looked at hotels but they all are offering wildly expensive over the top stuff like nights away and lunches for 12 as a minimum (as we wouldn't be bringing child, can't be a holiday or abroad etc, can't afford that just now anyway).

SURELY there must be a cheap simple option I am missing?

Grateful for any ideas, but if you want to say "hey why not just enjoy it and make a small party out of it," thanks but no thanks. I just don't want to.

Our nuptials comprised the two of us, my two stepchildren plus two witnesses, followed by a slap up lunch for six. Only the six of us knew the date. Had my husband’s children been over 18 there would only have been four of us. We had an amazing day

Check what's legally required where you are in terms of advance notice, book the smallest space at at an available registry office, bring two people who won't make a fuss. Ours took five minutes! We brought our neighbours- acquaintances rather than friends- as our witnesses and had the most basic vows you can have - the registrar will contact you to discuss what wording you want. (I was fascinated to discover that the only really significant part of the wedding vows is confirming you aren't already married!! Almost everything else is optional.)

Yes I can't see why not. Then avoids the feeling like you've got to offer someone a drink/cake afterwards because they will want to get on to their next task. I know people mean well doing it for free but I know for me I struggle with the unspoken social concepts of thanking someone. I'd be thinking of that the entire time🙈

I can neither confirm nor deny. 😉

Book the basic registry office wedding, give notice or whatever you need to do then a week or so beforehand either ask 2 neighbours, colleagues or other acquaintances if they would witness it explaining you aren’t having a full wedding just doing paperwork, or put the time and date on here. Are you sure you don’t have a couple of friends who would agree and perhaps just go for a quick drink or basic meal afterwards, pub lunch maybe. Just because you don’t want the full white wedding doesn’t mean you can’t have a toast to your existing and future life together

As I understand it, in my area the cheapest wedding package at the local registry office with two witnesses costs about £56 for a statutory wedding; 2 witnesses, short, basic ceremony. Apparently this has a 52 week waitlist!

We went on a package holiday to Florida, drove to the County Court House, State Capital, paid $50, no witnesses needed, no blood tests needed, job done in under 5 minutes. Certificates on doormat when we got home from holiday.

I replied to a mumsnet request for two witnesses. Me and another woman witnessed the couples’s ceremony. We had a cup of tea at a department store afterwards and went our separate ways. I was happy to do this. The couple were lovely and had very specific reasons for getting married in this way. Book the reg office and bung on the date and time on here and someone is bound to come forwards. My friend lives near Gretna and has been a witness to a few weddings while out doing her shopping!

We went to a registry office and took two friends as witnesses. Then we went for dinner at a local restaurant afterwards.

We had been together nearly 20 years and it really was just a legal thing for us, we didn't want a big deal and we arranged it so we didn't get one.

Surely you have two friends who will follow your wishes and keep it as low key as you want?

As others have said I’ve seen many requests for witnesses in here and they often get lots of people wanting to help. I’d love to do it but they’re never near me.

A friend of mine got married in London and they had two Chelsea pensioners as witnesses. I think they do it if you do a donation to their charity and if you’re near there that might be an option?

We went to the local hotel to look for witnesses (recommended by the registry office) and found 2 lovely ladies who were just finishing their lunch and we're delighted to be asked!

We did simple registry office ceremony in our lunch breaks. Paid two ladies £10 each from a local department store to witness during their lunches. I popped in the day before and asked if anyone was interested. We all went back to work afterwards. It was done in less than 15 mins. They tried to refuse the cash but I preferred to keep it transactional iyswim.

Absolutely. All we said was that (1) we weren’t married and thus were free to marry, and (2) that we were marrying one another. No ‘in sickness and in health’, no ‘till death do us part’ etc.

I was a witness for a mumsnet ter who advertised on here. The other person they had arranged (a work colleague of one of them) didn't turn up, they asked someone on the street. They bought us a drink after to say thank you.

You could see if there's a local cafe near the registry office where older folk hang out, you might find some volunteers who aren't busy during the day.

How funny - I was reading this just an hour ago:

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/06/fashion/weddings/wedding-style-quiz.html?unlocked_article_code=1.ZFA.g3vZ.-n0OFgsU2tlC&smid=nytcore-ios-share

@UnreliableNarrators you should probably ask your DC to attend. If he’s an adult maybe he could invite a +1 (someone they are dating or just a mate as a favour). You could then just go out for dinner afterwards.

I know a couple who recently got married after 18 years together, they went to a registry office and nabbed two strangers off the street as their witnesses.

I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’m in South Wales but I’d travel!

I did it for friends having a civil partnership. I worked in the same council building so popped down on my lunch, did it, then went back to my desk.

The office in Islington has changed - they now use a lovely small room with plush sofas at the front of the town hall at no extra cost. We held our civil partnership there four years ago with two witnesses, and the registrar wore PPE as Covid was around. Can recommend.

The issue is that you have a short time slot, and it’s not guaranteed you will easily find someone on the street, which adds a level of stress you don’t want in a supposedly hassle-free wedding. Our register office was very clear that if you weren’t on time, you would forfeit your slot.

I witnessed two strangers marry. The bride to be phoned my workplace switchboard, which was opposite the registry office. Myself and a colleague agreed to do it - we both put slightly smarter clothes on that day. It’s a nice thing to do for someone. 🙂

I've heard of quite a lot of people just getting people in off the street (or maybe try a local pub, as you might have someone who is not in a hurry to go anywhere?)

I went to the registry office with two friends then had a drink at the pub and went home.
£100. It probably costs more now.

Do update OP about what you end up doing! I am in exactly the same position as you, need to get married for practical reasons but would love to just fill in a form with a solicitor being able to witness the signing. Very complicated family dynamics for us & not wanting to involve friends like you & additionally hating the very stress inducing idea of finding random people off the street at the time leave me with no options 😂

This. You wouldn't even need to tell anyone you had married if you didn't want to.