Together 20 years, neither of us have ever had any interest in getting married and especially not in a big ceremony. We have wills leaving everything to each other and all property and bank accounts are already joint, so it didn't seem necessary. However recently advised to make something legal for the sake of pension rights if we split (which seems very unlikely but I suppose you never know) or for next of kin in medical situations (not desperately urgent, as I have no family and his are very reasonable people I can't imagine disagreeing with anyway).
BUT I absolutely do not want this to be a big thing. Ideally I would have us go to a solicitor's office and just sign papers like you do when buying a house. That doesn't seem like a thing? According to the local council website, we can book a small registry office ceremony but they won't supply witnesses. I really hate the idea of getting friends involved to come and witness, I feel like it would inevitably become something more than what it is - a legal situation, completely unrelated to the fact that our lives are already entwined, he is my person of choice, we have raised a kid together etc. I love him, I just don't want a fuss. And my partner is slightly ND so he would also hate it, even more probably. I only want ourselves there and if necessary two strangers who could efficiently sign the register when required and otherwise be basically not involved.
I've looked at hotels but they all are offering wildly expensive over the top stuff like nights away and lunches for 12 as a minimum (as we wouldn't be bringing child, can't be a holiday or abroad etc, can't afford that just now anyway).
SURELY there must be a cheap simple option I am missing?
Grateful for any ideas, but if you want to say "hey why not just enjoy it and make a small party out of it," thanks but no thanks. I just don't want to.