What is the smallest, simplest wedding or civil partnership we could have?

[UnreliableNarrators]

Together 20 years, neither of us have ever had any interest in getting married and especially not in a big ceremony. We have wills leaving everything to each other and all property and bank accounts are already joint, so it didn't seem necessary. However recently advised to make something legal for the sake of pension rights if we split (which seems very unlikely but I suppose you never know) or for next of kin in medical situations (not desperately urgent, as I have no family and his are very reasonable people I can't imagine disagreeing with anyway).

BUT I absolutely do not want this to be a big thing. Ideally I would have us go to a solicitor's office and just sign papers like you do when buying a house. That doesn't seem like a thing? According to the local council website, we can book a small registry office ceremony but they won't supply witnesses. I really hate the idea of getting friends involved to come and witness, I feel like it would inevitably become something more than what it is - a legal situation, completely unrelated to the fact that our lives are already entwined, he is my person of choice, we have raised a kid together etc. I love him, I just don't want a fuss. And my partner is slightly ND so he would also hate it, even more probably. I only want ourselves there and if necessary two strangers who could efficiently sign the register when required and otherwise be basically not involved.

I've looked at hotels but they all are offering wildly expensive over the top stuff like nights away and lunches for 12 as a minimum (as we wouldn't be bringing child, can't be a holiday or abroad etc, can't afford that just now anyway).

SURELY there must be a cheap simple option I am missing?

Grateful for any ideas, but if you want to say "hey why not just enjoy it and make a small party out of it," thanks but no thanks. I just don't want to.

We didn’t tell anyone for about five years. And then only because I’d more or less forgotten.

Completely empathise. This is how we felt about it. Especially the getting witnesses part as we are both ND so not exactly social. In the event I asked two people I know through a hobby group if they would do it but before that I was considering asking through the Civil Partnership group on Facebook but decided against it as their group was public we didn’t tell our families.

I booked the first available slot in the cheapest room. I think it was about £50, maybe more, can’t remember. Had to go in a few weeks before to be interviewed to check neither of us being coerced etc. apparently the majority of hetero CPs are older couples just tying up legal loose ends.

then on the day just beforehand the registrar asked us what sort of ceremony we wanted, if we had music etc and I emphasised shortest possible ceremony with least fuss. So they basically get you confirm who you are, that you understand the contract, then You do have to repeat some words although I can’t remember what they were but it wasn’t sloppy stuff, it’s much like swearing to tell the truth in court to be honest, then you sign the registrar and you’re done. It took us about 15 minutes which was enough exposure for me - couldn’t get out fast enough.
Never wanted to get married due to patriarchal nature of the certificate and the legal wording of the marriage ceremony,but CP’s changed all that and the certificate at last states both sets of parents occupations. Previously it was always just the father I think which I objected to.

Plus no fault divorce came in so all my objections were removed.

I’m glad we did it and I still refer to him as my partner most of the time. Called him my boyfriend the other day. It’s been 25 years. Old habits die hard.

5 years later neither of us regrets doing it that and our families still don’t know and are never likely to until one or both of us pops off.

Yes, I have lots of friends who'd be delighted to help, but that's not what I want.

Not an adult, so not eligible.

Hey you know what maybe we could do a deal ... I'll witness yours if you witness mine?!

Thanks everyone for suggestions. I'm amazed to find out that it's a "thing" for people to appeal for this on Mumsnet and that there are folk out there who wouldn't mind helping out! That's very kind. But I still think that it would be awkward to have to then make conversation etc on a day that I would want no expectations of me. And hoping to randomly grab people off the street seems chancy. Booking someone through a website is a good idea, I'll look into that.
Yes, local registry office small room is the preferred option but I just wish there was an option to book it with witnesses included.

Heavens, I'd be thrilled if a stranger asked me to witness their marriage. It would make my day. I don't think you'd have any problem finding randos to do it unless the registry office is somewhere very remote with very few passers by.

I was a witness pulled in off the street many moons ago. I was coming from an antenatal appointment at the hospital next door and was waiting for a bus home. No conversation as such, very much a formality but still a privilege to be asked. Sure you’ll find someone local (who will not make a fuss exactly as you’d like) on here!

My experience is that this isn’t necessarily true — yes, I did witness twice or three times, when I had time and passed a popular, busy city-centre Town Hall register office on my way to and from work, but I refused many, many more times, because I was on my way to work, or I needed to eat or do an errand on my lunch break, or I was running for my bus to pick up my child from afterschool club etc. Most people aren’t passing a register office because they’re at a loose end, they’re going about their working day.

Sure, the shortest ceremony is only ten minutes or so, but are you going to wait till 25 past to start looking for witnesses if your wedding slot is half past? Of course not. You need to give yourself time to find two people who agree. But if someone says ‘Ok, if it only takes takes ten minutes’ at 12.00, you then need to tell them they need to wait till 12.30, so suddenly it’s 45 minutes. I had to refuse once because of that. I could have spared 15 minutes, but not the guts of an hour.

I mean, I’m sure you’d probably find someone eventually, but judging by the stressed-looking couples I encountered on several occasions, and the number of times I was asked and had to say no, it’s not necessarily that straightforward.

We just went to the registry office with two witnesses.

Unless you go for 'people off the street' or 2 people you know, then it can't be done. You need 2 witnesses and there's no way round that

You could perhaps ask someone from either the previous wedding or the next one, but check if there are such bookings.

You can book anywhere in England if you're in England. Find a council nearby that does accept employees being witnesses and get married there.

I remember a long time ago someone wanting a similar thing. They asked on Mumsnet if anyone would be their witness and they got 2 people that way.

I'll volunteer if your in Scotland op

I won't even make eye contact with you 😂

No need for fuss. We did things on a Thursday lunchtime so no time off work. 2 witnesses off the street (one I vaguely knew as she worked in the library but she took time in her lunch break). That was 36 years ago. I think it would 'make someone's day' to be asked to be a witness....not an everyday request. We didn't tell our parents or anyone else until a couple of days afterwards.

Same here! We will just say hello , witness and then go off for our own day!

Ask your neighbours or people you know locally, like bar, cafe or shop staff to9 be witnesses. Buy them a bottle of wine as a thank you. Get married at your local registry office. Spend a night together at a nice spa hotel afterwards.

Where are you?

We had a 2+2. Cost under £100 at the registry office. I bought my dress off vinted for £32. My whole outfit came to under £60 including a coat as it was November. We paid 2 strangers £50 to be our witnesses.

This was Nov 2025 for ref.

It’s £62 for a Register Office ceremony and certificate £12:50. Your legal paperwork is £46:50 each. If your local office/office you choose to do it in us within a shared council building you will probably find 2 people there for other reasons willing to be your witnesses. Failing that you could ask neighbours ?

search for elopement packages. They will often include witnesses if you don’t want to invite anyone.

Shropshire. But we travel a lot!