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Weddings

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Original poster

What is the smallest, simplest wedding or civil partnership we could have?

107 replies

UnreliableNarrators · 07/04/2026 16:13

Together 20 years, neither of us have ever had any interest in getting married and especially not in a big ceremony. We have wills leaving everything to each other and all property and bank accounts are already joint, so it didn't seem necessary. However recently advised to make something legal for the sake of pension rights if we split (which seems very unlikely but I suppose you never know) or for next of kin in medical situations (not desperately urgent, as I have no family and his are very reasonable people I can't imagine disagreeing with anyway).

BUT I absolutely do not want this to be a big thing. Ideally I would have us go to a solicitor's office and just sign papers like you do when buying a house. That doesn't seem like a thing? According to the local council website, we can book a small registry office ceremony but they won't supply witnesses. I really hate the idea of getting friends involved to come and witness, I feel like it would inevitably become something more than what it is - a legal situation, completely unrelated to the fact that our lives are already entwined, he is my person of choice, we have raised a kid together etc. I love him, I just don't want a fuss. And my partner is slightly ND so he would also hate it, even more probably. I only want ourselves there and if necessary two strangers who could efficiently sign the register when required and otherwise be basically not involved.

I've looked at hotels but they all are offering wildly expensive over the top stuff like nights away and lunches for 12 as a minimum (as we wouldn't be bringing child, can't be a holiday or abroad etc, can't afford that just now anyway).

SURELY there must be a cheap simple option I am missing?

Grateful for any ideas, but if you want to say "hey why not just enjoy it and make a small party out of it," thanks but no thanks. I just don't want to.

OP posts:
Fgfgfg · 07/04/2026 16:33

My council offer a really cheap statutory ceremony in an actual office. It's £100 but If you want it in the registry office proper it's £200. They don't allow music, photos, nothing. You still need two witnesses though. My friend asked me to be her witness rather than her best mate who apparently wouldn't have understood.

Original poster
UnreliableNarrators · 07/04/2026 16:33

MightyGoldBear · 07/04/2026 16:30

What if you used taskrabbit and hired two people to be witnesses .Takes some of the uncertainty out of it?

Can you do that on Taskrabbit?! If so, that would be great!

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 07/04/2026 16:34

My friend and her now DH didn’t tell anyone, went to the registry office, asked 2 men in the car park to be the witnesses then went out for lunch.

Shittyyear2025 · 07/04/2026 16:34

I was a Mumsnet witness at a registry office wedding in York some time ago.

Pop the details on here and ask if anyone is free that day. The fees are no more than £200 all in.

You will need to redo wills afterwards as marriage invalidates them.

CapabilityBrownsHaHa · 07/04/2026 16:37

You can pay people from a solicitors to attend as witnesses. They don't have to be solicitors, you're just paying for their time. I think the only requirement is for them to understand what it is they are witnessing.

Thmssngvwlsrnd · 07/04/2026 16:39

Just found a website called myweddingwitness.co.uk Looks like it offers what you are looking for OP.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 07/04/2026 16:41

We had special dispensation from the High Registrar of Scotland due to my life-limiting illness so I think we probably had the most low-key wedding humanly possible? We got married by an officiant in our living room in matching mushroom pyjamas made here in Edinburgh with just our downstairs neighbours, a truly lovely couple, as witnesses. I bought an afternoon tea cake selection from Waitrose (SO good), everyone had one except me, including the officiant, then they went home and I fell asleep on the sofa in my wedding pyjamas. I wear them now when I’m really not feeling well and need a boost.

LetMeStayInBed · 07/04/2026 16:41

I was a witness for someone on Mumsnet. Took my dh along to be the second witness! It was a fun 20 mins. We were off that week anyway.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 07/04/2026 16:42

UnreliableNarrators · 07/04/2026 16:33

Can you do that on Taskrabbit?! If so, that would be great!

Show quote history

Lots of people have used MN in the past to get witnesses or post in your city’s subreddit. You don’t need to pay.

Retireornot · 07/04/2026 16:43

Let us know the area. OP. I will come with my adult daughter and be your witnesses.

WinterFrogs · 07/04/2026 16:43

PottingBench · 07/04/2026 16:27

Our friends picked us because they knew were were the least likely amongst their friends to get all face fanning about honeymoons, favours and veils. They asked the week before, we said yes. We met them at the registry office and bosh.

I did exactly the same for some friends

Songlines · 07/04/2026 16:43

Where are you? I'd be happy to come as a witness and not tell anyone.
I'm doing something very similar in 3 weeks time for very similar reasons. There will be 6 of us in total, rather than 4, with our kids as witnesses. Then out to dinner. Not planning on telling anyone other than those present.

Johntaylorschin · 07/04/2026 16:46

Is there a pub or cafe near the register office, I’d go in there and ask for volunteers in exchange for a pint

Ahhhhhbisto · 07/04/2026 16:48

We used neighbours from down the road that we knew to say hello to but had no relationship with. They were very happy to be asked.

HalzTangz · 07/04/2026 16:48

UnreliableNarrators · 07/04/2026 16:13

Together 20 years, neither of us have ever had any interest in getting married and especially not in a big ceremony. We have wills leaving everything to each other and all property and bank accounts are already joint, so it didn't seem necessary. However recently advised to make something legal for the sake of pension rights if we split (which seems very unlikely but I suppose you never know) or for next of kin in medical situations (not desperately urgent, as I have no family and his are very reasonable people I can't imagine disagreeing with anyway).

BUT I absolutely do not want this to be a big thing. Ideally I would have us go to a solicitor's office and just sign papers like you do when buying a house. That doesn't seem like a thing? According to the local council website, we can book a small registry office ceremony but they won't supply witnesses. I really hate the idea of getting friends involved to come and witness, I feel like it would inevitably become something more than what it is - a legal situation, completely unrelated to the fact that our lives are already entwined, he is my person of choice, we have raised a kid together etc. I love him, I just don't want a fuss. And my partner is slightly ND so he would also hate it, even more probably. I only want ourselves there and if necessary two strangers who could efficiently sign the register when required and otherwise be basically not involved.

I've looked at hotels but they all are offering wildly expensive over the top stuff like nights away and lunches for 12 as a minimum (as we wouldn't be bringing child, can't be a holiday or abroad etc, can't afford that just now anyway).

SURELY there must be a cheap simple option I am missing?

Grateful for any ideas, but if you want to say "hey why not just enjoy it and make a small party out of it," thanks but no thanks. I just don't want to.

Small registry office followed by a meal for those attending at your favourite restaurant

Rozendantz · 07/04/2026 16:49

We eloped so obviously told nobody - except our neighbours who we invited the night before to be our witnesses.

How well do you know your neighbours?

thecatdidit · 07/04/2026 16:50

Oh I'd love to be asked as a witness by a stranger getting married. If you're in the South East England drop me a DM.

I can truly understand your desire for just getting it done with no fuss. Good luck!

IdaGlossop · 07/04/2026 16:51

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 07/04/2026 16:41

We had special dispensation from the High Registrar of Scotland due to my life-limiting illness so I think we probably had the most low-key wedding humanly possible? We got married by an officiant in our living room in matching mushroom pyjamas made here in Edinburgh with just our downstairs neighbours, a truly lovely couple, as witnesses. I bought an afternoon tea cake selection from Waitrose (SO good), everyone had one except me, including the officiant, then they went home and I fell asleep on the sofa in my wedding pyjamas. I wear them now when I’m really not feeling well and need a boost.

Were the pyjamas magic? Asking for a friend.

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 07/04/2026 16:53

It was just DH and I, and our adult DD and my adult DS when we got married, at a simple Tuesday morning in & out ceremony at the Register Office. There was also the senior Registrar and his trainee.

It was epic.

Got married in jeans & t-shirts, had a bit of a buffet running throughout the day in our garden for folk to pop in (stipulated no presents). We’d been together for nearly 25 years at that point, so going all out with full bells & whistles would’ve been daft. DS had known DH since he was 2, in case anyone remotely thinks that’s important.

Together for over 30 years now, our marriage certificate is just as valid as someone who goes for the full, £30k fairy tale job.

We decided to do it at that point as we had been scheduled by our client to represent them at a conference in one of those countries that do not allow unmarried folk to stay together (especially at the specific hotel the conference was being hosted at). And sod paying for 2 rooms, getting married like this was a far cheaper prospect!

Luckily our kids are adults so they could be our witnesses, but I’ve seen several pleas for witnesses on here over the decades that have gone swimmingly (none in our area though, I’d have been willing to pitch in if needed)!

The ceremony was limited to 4 people (couple & 2 witnesses) and was perfect. Surreal, but perfect!

And the Middle East conference? Cancelled a week later lol!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/04/2026 16:54

I've been a witness for a tiny wedding/civil partnership ceremony twice. The second time my husband and I did it for two friends who wanted the absolute minimum of fuss. We did the business, which was all over very quickly, and then they took us out to lunch, but we would have done it anyway.

The previous time I was one of the fabled MN witnesses, in response to a request. The other witness was also a random MNer. It was so long ago I've now forgotten both the usernames involved. It was nice to be able to help. We did what had to be done and then went on our way. The absolute minimum of fuss.

Denim4ever · 07/04/2026 16:54

Friends of mine had just 4 other people at the civil ceremony. They were not planning even to celebrate but ended up having a few sep get togethers with different friend groups. They said it was just for security and so on but ended up being really happy they did it. It was a civil partnership because one partner had been married before and his wife went off with his then best friend. So he'd always said he would never marry again.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 07/04/2026 16:57

(I may say it's wise to consider this as you get older, depending on your circumstances. A friend of ours died very unexpectedly last year and his partner of many decades, who is retired, has apparently had to re-mortgage the house to pay the inheritance tax. They had a jointly owned perfectly ordinary London house which is now worth a seven figure sum. There would have been no inheritance tax at all if only they'd got married or had a civil partnership.)

Bulbsbulbsbulbs · 07/04/2026 16:58

We tried to do a similar thing. We asked our best friends to be witnesses. In the end though the registry office had 'run out' of basic ceremonies and we had to have the next one up which entitled us to 8 guests. I hate waste so invited 6 more people. Then I bought a wedding dress from eBay for £50. Then I thought I might as well get shoes. Then I thought we should get rings as I had a dress. Then the bouquet, cake, wedding playlist, champagne, food somehow needed to happen.

It was a great day but totally unexpected, only 4 weeks after we phoned the registry office for an appointment. We just had a dinner party really in posh outfits.

wellfuckadoodledoo · 07/04/2026 17:01

MightyGoldBear · 07/04/2026 16:30

What if you used taskrabbit and hired two people to be witnesses .Takes some of the uncertainty out of it?

This is a GENIUS idea.

7238SM · 07/04/2026 17:02

If you give us a rough idea of where you are there are many of us who would offer to be witness.

As others have said, a cleaner,, dog groomer, hairdresser or anyone else you occasionally engage with might do it?

Go out for meal, just the 3 of you afterwards. Doesn't need to be fanfare and a castle with a meal for 100 people!