Petty - after a child free wedding

[Magicboobies]

I know this is v petty - anyone feel the same ?

You see photos all over social of a couple who had a child-free/baby free wedding a while back (and you either could not attend due to breastfeeding or went to a massive effort to sort childcare out for your brood, on the pretence that they wanted you to be able to enjoy yourself, as if you don’t enjoy being with your kids) and now they’re posing taking their baby to a wedding “look how smart baby is in a suit etc etc”

I am fully aware this is entirely unreasonable 🤣 but also sort of want them to feel the slight annoyance I did, all whilst being judged by the masses at how dare I think a child could possibly be invited to a wedding.

You didn't realise how hard it would be.
Maybe they didn't realise the implications of a baby/childfree wedding for mothers of babies when they arranged the wedding. Maybe they do understand now.

Also, it was their wedding so they can decide whether they want children there or not. If they are invited to a wedding where children are allowed to attend they are free to take their child to that wedding if they want to because the bride and groom have decided they don't mind children and babies being there.

My 3 year old would definitely have needed his own chair and a meal, and would have made for a very different event if he’d been at the table. I agree they could have relaxed the rules for babes in arms but it’s hard to know where to draw the line. The wedding we took him to as a newborn he was an absolute dream but I still took up loads of space by having his pram at the dinner table so he could sleep.

Your 3 year old would not have had a full wedding meal. When mine were small at weddings, they just had a little portion, being unable to manage a full dinner.

Yes OP, it'd piss me off too!

We served the children at our wedding a children’s meal which had to be paid for.

I’m still pro having children at weddings. I’m just saying I realised when sat at a table of 4 couples, there would have been 6 children, all of a similar age. That’s nearly a whole other table. A couple kids are absolutely fine, but if all your friends have young children it definitely changes the dynamic.

Well I guess it is petty but I don't blame you. My children weren't invited to my brother's wedding - this was in the 80s when child-free weddings were much less common, yes I can hold a grudge lol. I had got them outfits and everything. No real problem as their paternal grandparents looked after them, but I felt disappointed. A few months my brother and SiL were excitedly buying an outfit for their baby girl to go to a wedding. I know I was unreasonable, but it irritated me.

I mean, you didn't have to go?

Yes, I can see that. Not everyone wants to do it. It seems strange to me because im my culture the whole family gets invited and children are part of every celebration. However, as pp have said, it's a personal choice.

Very weird to be bothered by this. Get a grip and move on 🙄

Well why didn’t you say no to the invite? You’d be moaning about not being invited and now you’re still moaning.

But it makes her spiteful to want to married couple to feel the same way she did, which they obvs don’t. Spiteful was op called herself and yes she is.

I’d be miffed too. I do get wanting a childfree wedding, but I do think babes in arms should be allowed (and whisked out if they were noisy during the ceremony).

having said that I took my 4 month ish old to the loudest wedding known to man. The reception was like a really loud rave from start to finish. It was a really awful day as the baby was understandably very annoyed about it. Lots of little kids there, so we weren’t not welcome. For the next wedding I bought ear defenders and it was much better!

I agree there's something a bit odd about having a family celebration and excluding family children.

But by the time they’ve been whisked out, they’ve already caused a disturbance by making the noise, and the parent getting up to leave with them. And that assumes the parent leaves straight away which they don’t always. Babies are very unpredictable noise-wise and is down to the bride and groom to decide if they want that.

Their wedding, their choice.

We had child free, and we now have children who have been invited to some weddings and not to others, including one couple whose children we didn’t invite (they got married long after having kids). All fine. Tbh I would have hated taking a baby to a wedding. I’d have been stressed as heck.

Funny. My wedding was a celebration of my marriage to my husband. My family were invited, but the point of the wedding wasn't to have a celebration of them!

Who said every wedding is a ‘family celebration’. It is about two people only - those standing in front of the altar or registrar.

My cousin has children and tbh they would have ruined the day. Made it all about them and their parents would have thought it was ‘cute’. No thanks. We aren’t close anyway.

I hate this world so hostile to children.

If you can have child free, can you have aged free/elderly free? Why not/yes? Surely it's your wedding.

So? Don't be so jealous.

Lol you're stretching now. Are you against bars and nightclubs admitting children too? 😵‍💫

This. Move on OP

I dunno. It was their wedding and presumably they were child free at that time. Then their life moved on and their priorities changed. Doesn’t mean they still couldn’t have the wedding they wanted at that time, as opposed to the wedding that their guests would prefer.

Weddings are to celebrate the union of the couple whereby family and friends celebrate. It's not a celebration of family and children, although it could be in a broader sense depending on the culture. You thinking it's about children is odd