What makes a good wedding

[supertayto66]

Thinking back to weddings you have been a guest at.... If you considered it a great wedding, what made it so great? The food, the music, something special that was arranged by the couple?

No earlier than 2pm, the couple not disappearing for hours, FOOD, music not too loud.
All those make it tolerable. Never been to a great one, they're all pretty much the same.

Free bar. Great weather. Silent disco. Everyone staying over at venue.

Just brilliant fun.

Is a silent disco at a wedding a "thing"?? Never heard of that!

Twilight ceremony followed by food and music.
Preferably in the same place with accommodation.

Plenty of food and no waiting around. An afternoon ceremony so people can have a good lunch before travelling and food at a normal meal time.

I've only been to one that had one - so not typical no - they had a band first and then later in the evening a silent disco - it was amazing. (Or might have been that the free bar had been visited a lot by then 😂)

DH and I were at a wedding a couple of years ago where the bride and groom had arranged for singing waiters as a surprise.Between courses a waiter started singing then was joined by a couple of other "waiting staff".They were fantastic and had everyone standing up ,joining in and waving their napkins in the air.It was a real ice breaker when you're sat at a table with six strangers.
Good food and good music make or break a wedding for me.

I think the main problems at wedding for guests have been waiting around too much. It’s good if everything flows well.

Personally my favourite wedding was at Edinburgh zoo as in down time between things we could wander around. So while my advice isn’t to choose a zoo 🤣 it would be to think of the overall experience of guests when things aren’t happening. What can they do? What entertainment is there for them?

This would make me want to crawl under the table in second hand embarrassment 😄

Food! Specifically, having enough of it. Went to a wedding once and the couples family went to the buffet first, then friends in some kind of weird hierarchy. By the time work friends got there, there was hardly anything left. We were starving.

At the same wedding, the first dance was to a totally random track they found on you tube the day before. Surely they could have found a meaningful song? There wasn't much romance in that.

Later wedding so there isn’t much hanging around for the guests. Photos not taking forever. Good food. Free wine and sparkling water on table and toast drinks as a minimum. Free bar might be a step too far. A great ceilidh band so people can dance all night with their shoes off!!!

if kids coming, a kids table or wee gift bags for kids. A couple who are genuinely affectionate and glad to be sharing their day with friends and family.

bacon and sausage rolls at the later part of the night instead of a naff beige buffet.

Often second weddings are more enjoyable - the couple are truly in love, have nothing to prove, everyone knows each other really well and it’s just joyful with no showing off/trying to impress.

i say that as someone who’s still on their first marriage!

A couple who are genuinely affectionate and glad to be sharing their day with friends and family.

This plus not hanging around for ages waiting for food/drink and the couple not disappearing for hours.

Short. Not a marathon wedding at noon endless photos then dinner at 5 then endless endless over at midnight.
Keep the time between wedding and meal to about an hour, hour and a half (do your side/his side photos before the wedding, joint after), plying your guests with drink and canapés. Meal. Speeches on the short side. Have the bride do a speech! Then dance. Cut the cake an hour later then people that need to go for childcare/distance/sheer exhaustion can feel ok doing so. One last big group dance before all leave at X hour.

Happiness and the right amount of free booze

Oh yea definitely free bar! I had beer and wine, told the bar to keep spirits out of sight but if someone asked to give freely.

This and the bride not looking stressed to bits. Not making guests queue for an hour for photos with the bride or groom, depending what side you’re on. Not making your guests drive for over an hour from the ceremony to the reception. Having sufficient accommodation for all your guests at the place you’re holding the reception or at least extra accommodation within walking distance.

I often wonder why they’ve bothered because they look so miserable on the actual day after wrecking themselves with all the planning.

I’ve been to some lovely ones but they were German where they tend to focus on everyone having a good time rather than all the stylised shit you get at Irish weddings. I was at one Irish one which was great fun but the bride was relaxed and happy and guests were very well looked after.

Informal and relaxed. Loads of food all day at every time point. Short speeches. Not a free bar and associated messiness from too much alcohol. No bridezilla shenanigans or lame attempts to make it look like something from instagram.

The most memorable thing I can think of is a wedding in late spring/early summer but it was blisteringly hot - they changed their drinks reception so the waiting staff had trays of iced water and cordial before bringing round alcoholic drinks. It was very welcome after an unexpectedly hot church.

Oh and we didn't do that endless receiving line thing. We went around to each table to say hello. My parents and his parents hosted their own tables. On our table was us, my maid of honour, his best man, my oldest friend and her DH (they had travelled 3600 miles) and another couple guests who flew in.

For me, ceremony and reception all at the same venue. Start no earlier than 1pm for those travelling. Accommodation available.
A wedding I went to recently was not stingy with the drinks, let’s put it that way! But that isn’t in everyone’s budget so not a must. Although I do think one or two bar tokens for drinks is a nice touch if possible.
SHORT SPEECHES! Omg! I’ve heard some looooooong ones.

Yep.

For years now we only attend the ceremony, and only if within 20-30 min drive. The parties generally are dreary and not worth our time.

Just everyone relaxed and happy is the main thing. And food! The last wedding I went to had a cream tea for the meal followed by food in the evening… the main topic of conversation was how hungry everyone was! I would honestly never expect a free bar, and wine on the table is nice but not essential.

Good and plenty of food. Food options for vegetarians (and I am not one but saw my friends starving at weddings before or only being able to eat the chips). Good table plan - I don’t want to sit next to your great aunt Rosalyn when I could set next to one of my 20 or so friends who are also at the wedding.

Don't have your guests milling about for hours between the ceremony and meal.
Guests having nothing to do for literally hours, with no seating and an over priced bar is a piss poor plan.
We understand the happy couple want photos taken, but don't disappear for hours.