What makes a good wedding

[supertayto66]

Thinking back to weddings you have been a guest at.... If you considered it a great wedding, what made it so great? The food, the music, something special that was arranged by the couple?

My wedding ! Didn’t get married till 4pm , only a few photos bbq at 5pm . Same guests to the whole thing no evening guests . Games for people to play and more food later . Loads of sun but that part was just pure luck !!!

Easily accessible by public transport/taxi. Start time no earlier than 3/4 pm so the wedding is done, food then straight onto night time. Quick photos. Great food, nothing too fancy. Bar not too expensive (I've never been to a wedding with a free bar, and don't know anyone who has). Music not too loud so people can still talk to one another. No rules about what people can and cannot wear.

Don't leave people waiting. 11.30 wedding where we didn't get fed until 6.30 was the worst. Bride and groom disappeared for four hours for a photo shoot. Tacky as hell. Nowhere to buy food either. And then they did the speeches before food! We got married at three, did one hour of photos and had canapes instead of starters. Much kinder - and our guests commented and appreciated it. We had cheeseboards out whilst the speeches were going on too. Just don't be self involved and self indulgent and it will be fine for everyone.

The last two weddings I’ve been to have been really informal and so much fun - no sit down meal, beautiful grounds with garden games, quality food trucks with choices of food / desserts - more of a festival vibe than a traditional wedding. I personally enjoyed them much more than the usual,
formal wedding set-up (but appreciate that this isn’t going to be everyone’s taste).

The way to make the wedding great for the guests is to Start your planning by focusing on what happens for your guests.

What time do they arrive, when are good and / or drinks available. When are things that involved them planned to happen.

Get that right, then add in any additional events like the ceremony.

Your guests are not bit part actors in the movie of your life. They are the purpose of having this public wedding. Otherwise, just go and get the paperwork done at a registry office in private.

Enjoy.

It's fine to have different tastes - it's a discussion thread! I do find it interesting what different people enjoy about weddings. That one sounds fun, I was just wondering from that previous post why games were needed to pass the time, that's all.

My favourite wedding was outside in September. Now they commited the MN sin of actually having their legal wedding a few weeks before with just siblings at witnesses, so this was all just for the love of it. But I felt that love. Personal vows, songs that meant something, teepees for the reception, good food, and the focus on coming together not on how showy or expensive everything was.

Excellent post

Ceremony in the afternoon or later
If party is in a different venue, arrange transport to get guests there
As little hanging around as possible
Plenty of food
Free bar
Someone briefed to keep an eye on any troublesome relative who might kick off after partaking of the free bar
Music. Band or DJ playing a good selection of wedding classics and floorfillers.

My favourites have had lovely grounds with garden games (this breaks the ice and gets you chatting with people you don’t know / passes the time)

Another here who can't understand why B&Gs ask (on here and on wedding forums) about what they can put on to 'pass the time'.

The simple answer is, start later and then you don't have gaps in the day you 'need to fill'.
Most guests will thank you for it.

Are people really that against the couple taking 45 mins after the ceremony to get some pictures done? I've never cared, and I don't need entertaining- show me the bar and I'll stand and chat for an hour with a drink and a playlist on happily.

Down to earth young couple in modest outfits accessorised with enormous smiles.

Standard here for couples to discard guests for hours.
Last one I was at the guests were left crammed into a hotel bar from 2pm-6pm with a small triangle of a sandwich, not even enough for one tiny triangle each. (Ceremony was at noon, then a long drive to a different location)

Never attended a wedding where the couple disappeared for less than an hour.

The ceremony (obviously).
Good food.
Good company (nice mix of friends).
If there is an "evening do", a quiet space away from the music so people can talk.
Just to be simple and elegant - no gimmicks, nothing tacky, no prolonged photo taking, drones, games, overlooking speeches etc.

That sounds utterly grim, and the type of thing that my friends and I would all loathe!

They may not be a common wedding 'thing' but they make it memorable/great!

I like when people have something out of the ordinary without trying too hard. Could be something as simple as good lawn games (one wedding the entire guest list got VERY into a game of boules, much cheering! Was great fun. Or another they had a really clever table plan) Think things like that mean they have great elements, which make them special/memorable.

Went to a few American weddings recently where they've had the photos earlier in the day before the guests arrive. That was nice as it meant the couple are with their friends and family all day rather than disappearing.

If it was 45 minutes it would be fine. One wedding it was 2hrs and there was no food, another it was nearly 3hrs because they'd gone to pose on a bridge and I just wanted to go home.

Short, well catered, full of love ❤️

Open bar of course helps. Live music. Speeches before food. Decent dj with no shit like the Macarena. Staying at the venue. Most importantly NO KIDS.

Everything in one venue
good food and drink and lots of it
garden games
beer pong table for evening
good music
relaxed atmosphere, not too formal

Agreed. Evening "dos" are usually incredibly tedious. They are just not necessary.

Plenty of food
Plenty of drink, at least some free
Children
Limited hanging around

• Shortish ceremony
• Food quickly after ceremony
• Lots of time spent thinking about the music. I HATE cheese-ball music, it ruins events. You can have good music for all ages without it being cheesy. Best wedding music ever was my friend (groom) who had loaded the music himself, or my niece who gave a specific list to the DJ in advance.
• An interesting venue
• No light up letters/ bling/ insta-ready crap. Best wedding ever was a country church, walk to parents' house with marquee & cute, farm animals everywhere. Chill areas in old outhouses with twinkly lights & hay bales. Weather was stunning.

Sharing a table with people you know

A great wedding is one which focuses on the guests. Yes, the ceremony is about the couple become hitched, but the point of the day is to celebrate with family and friends. Otherwise, just elope.

I've been to weddings where guests were excluded (there's been threads here about people being invited to the ceremony but not the meal!), weddings where guests are left starving because the ceremony is at 11am and they don't sit down to a meal until 4pm, weddings where the venue is so difficult to get to they have to spend 2 days travelling...

Honestly, centre your guests - don't make the location difficult, give them a lovely ceremony, keep them fed, watered and entertained - that's the winning recipe!