Asked for honeymoon contribution as gifts - should we give bank details?

[Pinkmittens9]

In our invitations we said not expecting any gifts but if they want to, then something for our honeymoon would be lovely. Feel awkward even saying that! But I know people usually want to get you something and we’ve already got a house full of “stuff”.
someone asked the other day if we want cash or whether we’ll share our bank details. What’s the done thing? I guess a lot of people don’t do cheques these days and maybe don’t have cash. But does it seem icky to send our bank details? I was thinking of emailing out some final details for the day before the wedding to guests so could include it but I’m really not sure!!

That's why we eloped. 10 years on, people are still unhappy about that too 😂

Bank details on a wedding invitation is just awful.

Why is funding someone's wine cupboard cellar classier than funding some glasses of wine on someone's honeymoon?! Both seem a lovely way to give someone a celebration gift to someone, without it being duplicate house stuff.
It's all very well saying just say no presents but guests feel awkward about that so bring something anyway. It's much more sensible therefore to funnel that societal norm in a practical direction instead of precarious cash gifts, faffy cheques or silver ladles to store for future use.

To me it is. To you it is not. Sorry, very bored of this now and have students incoming.

😂

Everyone I know has a post box type affair at the Wedding and a responsible person keeps all cards safe until bride and groom has a chance to open them.

@PinkArt
I seriously would not want to come to the wedding. Vulgar. I definitely would not pay towards your honeymoon
bit of an extreme reaction.
It's very common to gift money at weddings, I can't remember ever giving an actual gift item and Im 52.
It's really not vulgar or unusual.

This wasn't me! I also thought this was a ridiculous statement. But the poster is bored of us all talking about their judgemental comment now.
I don't see any difference between the gift of 'drinks at sunset' on honeymoon and champagne flutes on a John Lewis registry. Both are a lovely way to say yay you got married and I'm happy to celebrate that with you.

Apologies it was @BlackStrayCat

Yes I agree. Sometimes I think people are just looking for ways to show how properly middle class they are.

It can have the opposite effect.

See also, considering a bin to be a nice wedding present because it was expensive.

Yup. I’d be happy to take gift giving into the 21st century. Agree with OP that getting ‘stuff’ can be a waste and it wouldn’t be only option (some may not want to give at all) and not too different to those who use likes of Trailfinders. We are all busy. Keeping it clear, simple and easy - for those who would like that approach as one option shouldn’t be controversial.

I’m getting married and haven’t put anything about gifts. Some people have asked about it and those who do I say we don’t expect anything but if they would like to contribute to our honeymoon we would appreciate that rather than a gift. I absolutely wouldn’t put my bank details anywhere that is a step too far and quite rude I think. People will give cash or ask for bank details

We paid for something via a Web page for a work colleague who was getting married and wanted experiences on their holiday to America. I think it's a great idea - we paid for them to watch a baseball match.

I don’t get why people are saying no unless they are worried about security! You’ve said gifts aren’t necessary but if people want to they can contribute to honeymoon which is a fine message. Then if people specifically ask for bank details then it’s fine to give them, not grabby at all! It’s not like you’ve put them on all the invitations and said ‘money for our honeymoon please here’s where to send it’.

Dd2 stated they didn't want any gifts but if people wanted to they could donate to a couple of charities that were close to their hearts (details given).

Sorry I didn’t quite read your post properly. No, I don’t think I would specifically include bank details on the final email. If people want to transfer money they will ask for your details .

We had little frames with a PayPal QR code at the event itself, and we also shared the PayPal link on our wedding website. But people didn't have to donate if they didn't want to & could donate whatever they were able to if they chose to. We had a card box too and several people gave cards with money in as they preferred that.

Lots of pearl clutchers on Mumsnet will tell you how rude you are being but it's very common these days as most people already have everything they need and don't need households things for their starter home, etc.

Rosesandhellebores
We have been married 8 years and have wedding gifts still unused! We sold some we would never use! Not everyone has storage for years just in case!

The last two weddings I went to the invitation contained details of a website to RSVP on.
We went to the website, RSVPed, it also had a place to select meal options and also a place to contribute to the honeymoon.
It was called gettingmarried.co.uk

I think bank details are actually conceptually less grabby than gift lists (which I also think are completely fine though!) - everyone has a bank account so it’s not like you set it up in expectation of receiving anything.

I would never give actual cash - it’s 2025 not 1985, cash is dead and I’m not going to the cash machine specially to give the happy couple the task of going to their bank and paying it back in.

The last wedding I went to used withjoy and they had both a gift list and options for honeymoon contributions so covered all bases.

Most houses haven't enough storage space for what you suggest. A gift of money via bank details is much more sensible, which can be put towards a honeymoon.

This was the same as us. We didn’t request anything and most people gifted money/vouchers and we received some gifts such as towels, and photo frames

The last wedding we attended, the bride shared bank details in a family WhatsApp (UK) and as far as I know no one complained! In Spain it is the norm to put a little card with the bank details for the honeymoon contribution.

NRTFT but totally normal in Sikh weddings to give cash. I’m not Sikh but my sister married a Sikh guy. I was put in charge of looking after the cash gifts. I think by the end I was guarding over £2000 in cash!! I don’t even think that’s that much by typical Sikh wedding standards, as their wedding was very small compared to the norm. The whole system makes far more sense to me than giving gifts - no need for the faff of a list, no getting to the list and there only being crazy expensive stuff left, bride and groom get to choose what they spend it on (ie things or honeymoon or whatever). I can’t see a downside to it!