Best friend has said no partners to weddings

[EJT91]

one of my best / oldest friends got engaged recently and has invited me and my other oldest friend to the wedding. The only thing is, they’ve said no partners, because they’re only inviting 40 people. I found it a bit odd but didn’t think too much into it. My partner on the other hand is livid. He said it’s rude to do that and that my friend now won’t be welcome at our wedding when we eventually book it! I don’t know what to do. To be honest, I actually don’t really want to go without him. I genuinely enjoy his company and know we’d have a nice time, but equally I’d like to see my friend get married. It’s just really upset me that he’s said my friend wouldn’t be welcome at our wedding, but at the same time I get it? I just wondered what peoples opinions are on things like this!

Some people do that...Some years back, my then boyfriend was invited to a wedding. The groom invited his pals from school and uni; the bride invited hers. No partners. (At least...that's what my BF told me!)

He was one of the first to congratulate them on their engagements so he’s definitely happy for them. He was also sent a photo of the ring my friend was going to propose with before he did it, so again I think he thought they valued him more than they have.

Here on Planet Mumsnet do you understand the actual real world 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
"Snubbed" lol, get some joy in your life

Don’t go if you can’t go with out him.

It’s a very small wedding, they are probably skint.

It's a small wedding. It's her day. It's her budget. She gets to choose who she invites and who she doesn't. Who she spends £££ on and who she doesn't. Who she spends valuable time with and who she doesn't.

So Get over it and tell your partner to pull themselves together. Tbh s/he sounds like a little controlling and melodramatic and I'd suggest not marrying them if they are like this all of the time.

Enjoy your friend's special day with her special people.

And when you get married you decide whether to invite her or not. Not your DP. You. Your wedding. Your friend. Not your partner's choice.

Enjoy!!

I can understand why your DP is hurt but it's very petty to declare they won't be invited to your wedding.

So the genuine happiness for them dissipated as it was based on being invited to their wedding.

And I'm sure that the couple will be very happy for OP's upcoming wedding celebration despite not being invited to it. No harm done, then.

They’re not skint. They’ve chosen a small wedding which I massively respect! My partner and I are doing the same but we’ve made sure where people have partners, they are invited as well.

But maybe they have more people who they are close to, than you do.

You just proved my point looooool 😂😂
Take a deep breath and go back to cutting your own wedding guestlist.

what is looooool?

I did this at my wedding last year, small wedding with 30 guests and partners not invited. I think your boyfriend is being ridiculous and the comment about your friend not being allowed to your future wedding makes him sound like a childish brat.

Based on your updates I'm really surprised they didn't invite him tbh... I would get it more if they didn't really know him, but they sound close.

Anyway, go if you want to, but you don't have to if you aren't comfortable.

I've only had one invitation like this. I was heavily pregnant and couldn't drive at the time. I was invited, alone, to the evening do of a wedding a long way from home and in the arse end of nowhere. My dh of 3 yrs wasn't invited, but didn't especially care. I declined politely and the groom was mightily annoyed . Nuts.

It is totally fine for the bride and groom to invite only friends and not their partners, but they also need to accept that some people might not come.

Yeah I think that’s what has upset him! Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t see my friend every time I do because he respects the fact that I want time with him, but we do regularly all go out together. It’s like he’s not made it through to judges houses, it’s wild!

yeah I wouldn’t have gone in that situation either. I went to a wedding on my own last year where my partner wasn’t invited. It was someone I worked with so he didn’t care, but I spent the whole time on a table with 10 people (all couples) who I didn’t know. I left shortly after the meal!

It's a bit rude but I think it's just really awkward when weddings are so expensive and people want to invite their best and oldest friends. To invite your husband she'd have to not invite one of her close friends or her fiancé would have to not invite his.

I think they're just really trying to get their closest friends and family there but don't have the money for a bigger wedding.

He wants a different rule. That OP's friend isn't invited. Not OP 's friend's DH, which would be the equivalent rule. .

He has absolutely no right to demand that OP can't invite her close friend. He's a nob.

He’s in the wrong but he’s not a nob.

I might be wrong but I think op's close friend might be the groom, so same rule? Might have misunderstood though

I think it’s quite weird given that you’re in a long term relationship tbh.

that is correct!

His sentiments exactly. He’s just a bit put out that he’s been put in the same category as people who haven’t been with their partners that long or that don’t even know the couple. He thought of them as friends too.

Did you not invite partners at all?

Still not the same rule.
In this case, the groom wants to invite his friend to his wedding, but not her partner.

OP's partner wants OP to not invite her friend to her wedding.