Bridesmaids dresses - who should pay?

[Autumnbaththoughts]

Is it ok to give a colour or theme and let/have the bridesmaids pick their own dresses? It seems more common now but I still feel a bit awkward! I’m tempted to pay for them but partner thinks we shouldn’t (tight budget and it’s all so £££!). We’ve got them flowers but won’t do bridesmaid hair/make up either.
I was recently a bridesmaid and we picked our own dresses but it was fairly casual and the expectation was wear something you already own, or buy something you’d wear again.

My daughter was a bridesmaid last month. Bride paid for the dress, (they had a set colour but could choose from different styles the manufacturer offered) the girls wore/sorted out their own shoes. Bride paid for hair and flowers etc

I've been a bridesmaid 9 times. Bride always paid for dresses. I paid for my own bridesmaids dresses. It could have been 10 times a bridesmaid but my cousin wanted us to pay for our own dresses, which she chose, because they were strapped for cash. Unfortunately so was I so I declined.

Bride pays.
Ive been a bridesmaid a few times and the bride has paid for dress / shoes / bouquets / hair .
I think it’s really cheeky to ask a bridesmaid to pay for their own stuff if you have invited them to be part of your wedding .
They will be giving you probably quite a large cash gift as a present too ? And having to take time off work for fittings / the actual wedding etc.

The bride pays for dresses. Set a budget (i.e. £80/100??) and ask them to choose their own, then pay for them. If you're requiring hair and makeup, the same applies. If you don't care about them getting pro hair / makeup, then of course you don't have to pay. You don't necessarily need to pay for accom.

I paid for my little flower girls dress which I picked and the boys outfit. I paid for my one grownup attendant and her hair (I think she did her own makeup).

I think the bride and groom pay for dress, hair and makeup - unless you are happy for them to chose to do their own makeup and hair.

No, you cannot ask the bridesmaid to pay for their dresses.
To do so would be cheeky as hell.

Bride should pay for dresses, make-up, hair, flowers, shoes (if they will be seen).

Can you investigate renting a dress/dresses? I did this, so avoided the situation of dresses hanging in a wardrobe afterwards like the two dresses from when I was bridesmaid. Money should be directed at guest comfort for priority if it is tight - food, venue, music - and not the Instagram moments.

But, you don't actually need bridesmaids, flower girls, page boys, groomsmen to get married, just two witnesses.

You should pay for the dresses and flowers, that's it I reckon if you're on a budget - you can get really lovely dresses on the high street (mine were from H&M, about £45). If you want them in the same shoes you'll have to pay for them too but I just said mine should wear shoes that were comfortable. Bear in mind I also paid £35 for one of mine to have hers altered slightly so worth thinking about that too!

Bride must pay

Thanks all! Only read the first page but will read all later when I’ve got a bit more time. But appreciate the views - only asked as the way I’ve known it recently is bridesmaids bought their own but equally I agree if I want them in a certain style or colour we should. I also don’t want them spending loads as attending a wedding is expensive for everyone anyway. Equally, have to try and budget in places otherwise it gets out of control!

Is your fiancé going to ask his best man and groomsmen to pay for their suit hire if they don't all have a suit in the required colour or shoes for that matter?

It's expensive even for a casual wedding. I gave my sisters a budget and a few colours to choose from including black. Up to them if they wanted to spend more. In the end they both agreed on a dress that they would never wear again as the style was so formal but their choice.

I think the norm is you pay for the dresses everywhere except the USA. Shoes usually covered by the bridesmaids, hair and make up by you if you require everyone to look like they've been professionally done.

The bride pays for everything for the bridesmaid; they should not be out of pocket. It is also customary to give them a gift. Some brides might not pay for accommodation on the night after the wedding if the bridesmaid lives close by and can easily get home but if you want them with you the night before you should pay for that and if the venue isn't convenient to get home from or you are expecting a very late night I think you should strongly consider covering costs.

I understand the need to budget but you can’t aim to reign in your budget by pushing the cost onto other people!

Getting your friends to pay for things you can’t afford isn’t budgeting. Reining your budget in would be having a single bridesmaid, for example.

I agree, I was surprised when the op wrote about budgeting. Budgeting is not trying to get other people to financially support so you can have more on other things,

This.

no wonder she wants seven shes not paying for any of them!

cheeky bitch

This. Just have one bridesmaid.

traditionally its the bride who pays. if you expect the bridesmaids to pay then they will end up with odd styles and often the colours wont be the same; think how much shades vary from one shop to another. you say baby pink even with a shade sample it can be a nightmare.
usually too brides and bridesmaids get made up and have hair done together its part of the fun
if you really cannot afford it you may have to alter your plans

As mother of the bride, I paid for the bridesmaids' dresses and hair and make up for them and the bride and myself (5 people) on the day

Bride should always pay for the bridesmaid dresses, hair, make-up etc. If it isn't in the budget I would recommend not having an official bridal party, or just having one MOH for example.