Bridesmaids dresses - who should pay?

[Autumnbaththoughts]

Is it ok to give a colour or theme and let/have the bridesmaids pick their own dresses? It seems more common now but I still feel a bit awkward! I’m tempted to pay for them but partner thinks we shouldn’t (tight budget and it’s all so £££!). We’ve got them flowers but won’t do bridesmaid hair/make up either.
I was recently a bridesmaid and we picked our own dresses but it was fairly casual and the expectation was wear something you already own, or buy something you’d wear again.

I’d cut down on the number of bridesmaids. Yes, you have to pay but cut the coat according to your cloth comes to mind if you don’t have the money.

The only thing which matters is your friendship group and local habits.

Mumsnet will tell you to pay for everything, no matter what question you will ask.

That said, giving a single colour sounds too restrictive for bring your own, could you give a range/palette/single colour accessories?

The bride and groom should pay. Or you could just let them wear whatever they want, and forget about the colour.

I think the bride needs to pay.

Why should the bridesmaid pay to wear a colour they may not like in a style of dress they wouldn't necessary wear or buy.

If money is tight don't have bridesmaids or wait until you can afford it.

Bride pays though they ordered their choice up to a budget of £100. Own hair and makeup

Having a wedding that costs a fortune is a personal choice. It's not obligatory.

I'd be really annoyed if a friend forced me to spend money on a dress I don't want.

When I was a bridesmaid I always paid for my own clothes, three times. The bride told us what colour to get (ballpark), but otherwise we had free rein. It was nice because I got clothes I could, and did, wear again afterwards.

If you're telling people what they have to wear, you pay for it.

Don't have 8 bridesmaids if you can't afford to pay for 8 dresses.

if it’s a specific dress you pay in full.

if they have more freedom i.e. pick any navy dress it’s okay to set a max budget and they can pay more if they want.

this is the absolute minimum you should be doing.

You don’t have to pay for make up artist and hair or whatever…

what I would say if you can afford wedding favours / a make up artist for
yourself / car hire / balloon arch etc you can afford to budget £200 or so for some of the most important people in your life.

If there's a colour/theme then the wedding hosts definitely offer to pay.

If money is so tight, don’t have bridesmaids, don’t have an expensive wedding, don’t get married till you’ve saved up a bit.

I think you should pay for the dresses, but it's fine to expect people to do their own hair and make up.

You could pay for hair and makeup and ask them to let you have a say in which of their own dresses they choose. Or you could buy them inexpensive dresses that match your scheme.

Seriously!?! You think other people should pay for their friends wedding? I mean if you can't afford it don't do it, weddings are as cheap or expensive as you make them. Just so t have bridesmaids etc, cut the guest list but expecting them to pay for their own dresses or even hair and makeup is mind blowing to me. Its your 'special' day pay for it your bloody self

My understanding is if it’s in the UK, bride pays. Bridesmaids pay for their own dresses in the US.

The norm is that the bride pays for the bridesmaid dresses/shoes/makeup/hair/nails if they want it done a certain way e.g. dress in a colour theme, nails a certain colour, makeup professionally done.

I had one bridesmaid for my first wedding - I paid for her dress and shoes - I didn't pay for makeup/hair/nails for her as I didn't pay for that for myself either. We did our own together before the wedding. For my second wedding I didn't have a bridesmaid - I arrived at the wedding with my husband to be and greeted the guests together as they arrived.

When my bridesmaid got married (bigger wedding overall and more traditional) - she had 3 bridesmaids and paid for their dresses, shoes, handbag and makeup.

Which country are you in? It makes a difference.

Traditionally in the UK and Ireland the bride paid for everything but in the US the bridesmaids pay themselves. The blurring has come as those traditions merge online.

Personally if you're on this side of the Atlantic I think you need to be paying for dresses, hair and makeup at the least, sorry OP.

Bride pays

I think its also about your purpose in having bridesmaids...

If it is for having a big bridal party that looks great in stylish wedding photos etc then you need to pay for dresses.

If it is to recognise the role of your b/fs then give them a colour scheme or theme (if you want) and let them pick their own.

If you have bridesmaids, you foot the bill, imo. If you can’t afford bridesmaids, don’t have them!

In the UK the bride pays. I paid for hair, makeup, dress, and shoes - and their bouquets obviously too. If you’re on a budget, search for ‘set of bridesmaids dresses’ on Vinted. There are some great bargains that you could get tailored if needed.

I'd expect the bride to choose the dresses
When I was a bridesmaid we paid a small percentage towards it
It wasn't loads
I was ok with that. She wasn't sure about asking! But she is my best friend and I was happy to be bridesmaid!
I don't think bridesmaid should be paying anything big towards it though

Bride pays for dress, hair and make up. If you can't afford it have less bridesmaids.

I got married a few months ago and had 6 bridesmaids - paid for their dresses, any alterations, hair and make up. It’s something that needs to be factored in at initial budget and if you can’t stretch then you need to cut money from somewhere else or reduce the number of bridesmaids. Asking bridesmaids to pay is a (naff) American custom which is starting to creep over here!